How do i not feel ashamed?
incisron
Posts: 550 Member
Hi, I'm 19, I want to move more and for reasons I don't quite feel up to explaining, my parents and i feel I should exercise at home right now and I want to do it by walking. How do I not feel ashamed of walking around my yard or in a room? Or is this something I should feel ashamed by?
When I first started trying to get healthy, my sort of mentor friend had me walk around the house briskly for a certain number of minutes every day, which increased gradually. I got made fun of by a guy who came to our house to do something. So every time I did the exercise after that, I heard voices in my head making fun of me and it was kind of crippling. They wouldn't go away no matter how many times I kept pressing on with that exercise. Eventually the mentor and i fell out of contact due to busy schedules and I stopped those exercises.
I want to move a little more now, just a little, and I'm planning to do it in a few minutes. The only thing I'm worried about is the voices telling me I am stupid. The voice I'm afraid of is one with the face of an (imaginary) man I admire and look up to. I don't want that to cripple me again.
So should I feel ashamed? If so, I won't do it, but if not, how to ignore the voice or get rid of it?
Thanks. Sorry for the rambling.
When I first started trying to get healthy, my sort of mentor friend had me walk around the house briskly for a certain number of minutes every day, which increased gradually. I got made fun of by a guy who came to our house to do something. So every time I did the exercise after that, I heard voices in my head making fun of me and it was kind of crippling. They wouldn't go away no matter how many times I kept pressing on with that exercise. Eventually the mentor and i fell out of contact due to busy schedules and I stopped those exercises.
I want to move a little more now, just a little, and I'm planning to do it in a few minutes. The only thing I'm worried about is the voices telling me I am stupid. The voice I'm afraid of is one with the face of an (imaginary) man I admire and look up to. I don't want that to cripple me again.
So should I feel ashamed? If so, I won't do it, but if not, how to ignore the voice or get rid of it?
Thanks. Sorry for the rambling.
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Replies
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No, you shouldn't feel ashamed.
That guy who made fun of you? He should feel ashamed. What an c o c k womble. I hate him on your behalf.
Rather than feeling ashamed, you should be feeling proud of yourself that you actually have the motivation to get up and move. You're doing better than a lot of people.
You're only 19...giving less of a toss about what other people think will come when you get older. And shut that imaginary voice up by DOING what it's telling you you can't. Flip it off and do what you need to do.
You can. You so can.0 -
Why should you feel ashamed that you want to better yourself? The guy who made fun of you should be ashamed for being a piece of garbage. There's nothing stupid about you or what you're trying to do. Download an audio book and ignore the voices. Or I'd suggest a workout video because when the trainer is telling you what to do and you're very focused, it's much harder to pay attention to the voices.0
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It may take some time, but work on being focused on you & what you need and tune out everyone else. Habits are hard to break, I know. But other people do not control your fate, that is up to you.0
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I won't tell you how you should feel, because you feel what you feel. All I can say is that I would be proud of you for getting up and doing something to change your stars.
You can make a difference in your life by making small changes... each one adds up. (think of how a snowflake is small, but a snowstorm can impact a community!)
As for the feelings... sometimes you need to choose to ignore them because your goal is more important than how you feel. The voices in our heads can be real demons, but we don't have to listen to them. Find some music you enjoy and have that pumping in your ears... you may not hear the voices so loudly then.
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hugs hard thanks every1. 0 -
Don't feel ashamed! Be proud that you are doing more for yourself than 100s of thousands of Americans!(or whatever country you're from)0
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I walk around my house for exercise frequently. In fact, just yesterday I did it for 30 min on my lunch hour because it was just too darn cold to go for a hike in the woods and I felt like I need a walk. I've done it all my life.
You aren't stupid for doing it. You are smart. Anyone that makes fun of someone else for moving more is stupid. And mean. And probably a little sad on the inside that they aren't doing it too.0 -
I used to feel the same way. I was afraid to join a gym because I was to fat. I finally joined one with some friends and discovered people of all sizes were there and nobody said a word that a fat person was there. I'm not sure if you knew this guy sometimes family/friends can be meaner than strangers but if he was a stranger if he was stupid enough to say something about someone trying to exercise it just says something about his stupidity. Don't let one person stop you.0
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❤ every1.0
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Here's an idea to put intrusive thoughts in to an imaginary box.
http://bethspatterson.com/using-mindfulness-meditation-to-tame-intrusive-thoughts/
You might spend a minute or two doing a little meditation like this before you exercise.
If it were me I might pretend I was cleaning up the house or dusting. Put headphones on and dance.0 -
Hi, I'm 19, I want to move more and for reasons I don't quite feel up to explaining, my parents and i feel I should exercise at home right now and I want to do it by walking. How do I not feel ashamed of walking around my yard or in a room? Or is this something I should feel ashamed by?
When I first started trying to get healthy, my sort of mentor friend had me walk around the house briskly for a certain number of minutes every day, which increased gradually. I got made fun of by a guy who came to our house to do something. So every time I did the exercise after that, I heard voices in my head making fun of me and it was kind of crippling. They wouldn't go away no matter how many times I kept pressing on with that exercise. Eventually the mentor and i fell out of contact due to busy schedules and I stopped those exercises.
I want to move a little more now, just a little, and I'm planning to do it in a few minutes. The only thing I'm worried about is the voices telling me I am stupid. The voice I'm afraid of is one with the face of an (imaginary) man I admire and look up to. I don't want that to cripple me again.
So should I feel ashamed? If so, I won't do it, but if not, how to ignore the voice or get rid of it?
Thanks. Sorry for the rambling.
Meh. I was stuck at home due to rain, being at my parents house visiting, and needing to read a 1000 page document for work. I did not have time to "exercise", so I walked in circles in the kitchen while reading (on a tablet otherwise my arms would have fallen off). My dad made a few cracks about how I looked like an expectant dad who was worrying in the hospital, but it just wasn't a big deal.
And don't EVER feel ashamed of doing what exercise you can. Anything is better than nothing, and you should be proud of every change you make to put yourself on a healthier path.0 -
Walking around the yard, you might decide to pull up weeds, rake, or mow the lawn.0
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I've been stared at like a crazy person for pacing around a tiny airport terminal during a 2 hour layover because I wanted to hit my 10K step count for the day. I just kept walking because to heck with other people and what they think.
I was also embarrassed in the beginning to go outside and walk because one time a group of kids saw me walking and yelled "fat *ss!" Again, I just kept going because terrible people and their stupid opinions don't matter. Now I'm 40 pounds lighter and feel great, so I won!
You should keep going too!0 -
I always try to get 10,000 steps a day, but when it's raining heavily and I still have thousands to go, I have been known to march around the living room for as long as it takes! My other half expressed some concern that I was taking my step count aim too far... but I knew what I needed to do to lose weight and if walking round the house worked, I was going to do it!
Good luck, I lost just under half of my total weight loss by aiming for 10,000 steps walked/day to help maintain a deficit.0 -
Well that sucks
Maybe you need to get out of your own head and change the location, until you're happy walking wherever the hell you want to again (and no you shouldn't be embarrassed)
You could always walk round the block
Or to the shops and back
It isn't anything that would draw any attention, it's just life0 -
SoDamnHungry wrote: »Why should you feel ashamed that you want to better yourself? The guy who made fun of you should be ashamed for being a piece of garbage. There's nothing stupid about you or what you're trying to do. Download an audio book and ignore the voices. Or I'd suggest a workout video because when the trainer is telling you what to do and you're very focused, it's much harder to pay attention to the voices.
+1
I have issues with negative self-talk as well and have been practicing changing the talk to something positive immediately when I notice myself going into negative territory. It's a hard change but we need to learn to be kinder to ourselves and celebrate our victories. Getting up and walking around your house is a victory. Good for you.
Also agree that distraction with music and audiobooks helps, too!0 -
I like to do a little more in the house, but do my walking outside. Would a little folding desk cycle that you can use while reading or watching tv be doable for you? I'm thinking doing something different might not trigger the internal symphony as much.0
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Need2Exerc1se wrote: »
You aren't stupid for doing it. You are smart. Anyone that makes fun of someone else for moving more is stupid. And mean. And probably a little sad on the inside that they aren't doing it too.
This. What you are doing is smart and admirable. I know it is sometimes hard to deafen the little nagging mocking voices; recognize that whereever they came from, they are not your voice! It is your own, true inner voice that matters. Let it speak out more over the shaming ones, and it will gradually drown them out.
By the way, if this will reassure you, I have read on here that there are exercise videos made specifically for walking on the spot. Because smart people who want to move more find ways to do it that work for them, just like you are doing! It doesn't matter what everyone else thinks, the form of exercise that works for you is the right one.0 -
Put on your favorite music, loud as you like, & walk whenever, however, & wherever you want! No room for feeling ashamed. When people say rude or nasty things, it's not about others...it's about the person saying it...just means they have small, ignorant minds & are not worth listening to.0
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The voices in our heads can be real killers, and we all have to learn to move past them sometimes. For walking indoors, I've read posts on here about Leslie Sansone workouts, though I've never tried them. You should never feel ashamed for moving more and having the desire to be healthy!0
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I have a MFP friend who can only exercise at home. She has lost over 64 pounds and does "Leslie Sansone Walk Away the Pounds" where she walks or jogs in place, dancing, a "chair gym" work out, and stationary bike. Many people don't leave their home to exercise. Walk tall down the hall, up the stairs or in place and you will do amazing things for your cardiovascular health while burning some extra calories.0
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Hell_Flower wrote: »No, you shouldn't feel ashamed.
That guy who made fun of you? He should feel ashamed. What an c o c k womble. I hate him on your behalf.
Rather than feeling ashamed, you should be feeling proud of yourself that you actually have the motivation to get up and move. You're doing better than a lot of people.
You're only 19...giving less of a toss about what other people think will come when you get older. And shut that imaginary voice up by DOING what it's telling you you can't. Flip it off and do what you need to do.
You can. You so can.
Going to have to steal this phrase! Love the whole post. OP, YOU decide what you want to do and how to do it. Don't let other people influence you. Trust yourself and just get out there! The more active you are the more confident you will become.0 -
So... here's a funny anecdote.... I've been nursing a shoulder injury for a while, and I was given some exercises to do. I was told to do side lat raises (hands at side, slowly raise straight armed out to shoulder level, and return).
I was doing those when my 8 year old daughter came into the room. She started laughing, flapping her arms and honking saying "look at me, I'm migrating" and ran around the house honking and flapping her wings.
It was hilarious,OMG FREAKING HILARIOUS!!!
... but I found myself no longer wanting to exercise because I didn't want her to make fun of me. I know she was having fun, and didn't realize how sensitive I felt about it. She sure didn't mean to hurt me, but it caused me pause.
Now I can choose to allow that to prevent me from rehabilitating my injury, or I can choose to keep going forward. The best choice would be to tell her how I feel, help her understand that yes, it was hilarious when she did it, but it would be really great if she didn't tease me more because I'm a little sensitive about it... and then keep doing them. Or I can do them when she's not around.
The worst choice is to stop entirely.0 -
As for the voices in your head, when the negative tape starts playing say to yourself stop, delete, escape or some other word and then say to yourself, out loud if need be, I am smart, I am healthy, I am strong.0
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missblondi2u wrote: »I've been stared at like a crazy person for pacing around a tiny airport terminal during a 2 hour layover because I wanted to hit my 10K step count for the day. I just kept walking because to heck with other people and what they think.
When I go to take the L in the evening and there's a long wait (or even not so long) I walk back and forth across the platform. Felt like an idiot at first, but now it makes the time go faster and I've stopped caring (and it keeps me warmer, bonus!).
OP, definitely don't feel ashamed of moving more, wherever you do it! I also have heard positive things about those Leslie Sansone walking workouts, so if you think that might help you feel better about it, you might want to try them.0 -
I walk in my home, too. I like to walk/jog/march in place while watching TV (no money or room for a machine). My husband would tease me at first. But that's because he never saw me trying to be healthy before. Now he joins in sometimes.
I'm sure it's the same with your visitor. People sometimes say silly/dumb things when they see new (to them) things. Pay no mind and walk on. You're doing the best thing for you 0 -
I got an old PS2 I play DDR on at home while holding weights. It's especially fun because I can change disks whenever I get bored with the lineup and I always set TURN to SHUFFLE or RANDOM so my body and I don't memorize anything.
Why not try a fitness game?
You can even get ones that are apps on your phone that you can carry around with you to track your steps.
You'll be having so much fun there'll be no thoughts within your head by thoughts of joy!0 -
If you only feel comfortable at home, it's better than not moving at all! Kudos! I don't know if you have it but on my TV (I have ATT U-Verse) there is an interactive workout station. I go there and choose my workout and it's really just marching in place - a few steps forward or backward or side to side but doesn't take up much room and I can set it for as long as I want to. So if I'm staying in for some reason I have no excuse. Because I'm pretty active I thought it would be no big deal but turns out that uses a slightly different muscle set - especially the side-steps - and I found my hip muscles fatigued so I ended up feeling like I really accomplished something.
So march in place to music if you want. Pretend you are the Drum Major or in a parade! Keep it silly and fun. Make up your own routine, i.e. 6 steps in place then forward and back twice, 6 steps in place then sideways both ways twice... whatever keeps it fun. Keep it up! 0 -
There's absolutely no reason to be ashamed. I feel self conscious out in public sometimes but I never feel self conscious in the gym. I'm there to get healthy and that's that. I have felt bad about a lot of things but I never feel bad after exercising or making choices that have a positive affect on my life. There's always going to be someone out there with something to say, and the most harmful thing is to let it get in your head. Do whatever it takes! 0
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I walk around my house, dance, or do workout videos for exercise often too. It isn't shameful or embarrasing to move around in your own home/yard however you want. You are healthier moving than someone sitting on the sofa all day.
Do you think people walking around their home or yard are silly? What about if they were walking on a treadmill at the gym? Do people laugh at that? No, it is just someone exercising and no one cares.
The person laughing is the one with the problem. It was rude, immature and stupid of that person.
My teenage dd has laughed at workout videos I was doing. I told her to stop/get out or she had to do it with me. She stopped laughing after doing that exercise together. I didn't let it get to me or stop me.
There are a lot of free workouts on you tube if you'd like to do something other than walking around. There are some walking based workouts from Leslie Sansone and Jessica Smith.0
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