Dirty comments you say at random....and get caught saying...

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  • JWeaser
    JWeaser Posts: 302
    My sweet little old mother in law (85) always confuses the saying "got chewed out by my boss" to I got "ate out by my boss" I wanted to crawl away when she said in public one time. lol

    This was a common argument between my father and I. No, I am sorry but getting your a** chewed is NOT the same as getting it eaten out.
  • emmyvera
    emmyvera Posts: 599 Member
    When I used to take my husband (before we were married) to visit my 93 year old second cousin......

    She would always say.... "Ahh, you two are so cute.... I bet Nick just eats you up!"

    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • Danthewatcher
    Danthewatcher Posts: 101
    i also had another client with the last name of Butram. I called him Mr Butt-Ram he corrected me and told me it was Boo-Trum. awkward silence.

    :laugh:
    Awesome!!
    That had me laughing hard enough, My Girl runs in to ask what's so funny!
    Thank you for sharing!
  • CaWaterBug8
    CaWaterBug8 Posts: 1,040 Member
    My son did the same thing when he was around that age... except it came out F**K!! And dump truck came out DumbF**K!!! A little piece of me died inside when he finally learnd to say "Truck"....


    That is sooooo awesome! hahaha
  • atachauer
    atachauer Posts: 28
    I will NEVER let my little brother let this one down....ever!
    One year we both got summer work as a receptionist at a mental health clinic at different places.
    One time bro came home a bi wound up and shaky as there was some sort of confrontation as a patient was being really aggressive towards him, little bro turned to me and asked
    "Hey sis, has a mental person ever like come right in your face?"
    I burst out laughing, he was very embarrassed.....he still is.... brill!
  • VegGrrl
    VegGrrl Posts: 336 Member
    The first time I met a vegan bodybuilder I admire who lives here in town, we were introduced, then I looked him up and down and blurted "You look so different with clothes on!" After I caught how that sounded I tried to "explain" by saying "I mean, you're a lot bigger without clothes on..." and it just went downhill from there. :blushing: He always remembers me when I see him around though!


    As for the person named Butram, a similar unfortunate incident happened to me at work. Two of my coworkers were discussing how the evening was going and I said "It hasn't been too bad has it? I'm doing your job tomorrow night." One of them responded - "Oh, wait 'til you get butt checked!" I said "Pardon me?!" She said "Yeah, I hope you don't get butt checked tomorrow night!" and they both laughed. Now, I work in a JAIL so you have to imagine the things I had going through my mind! Again, I said "What do you mean?!" with a very worried look on my face. They laughed their *kitten* off as they explained that we had a real pain in the butt woman named Mrs. Butchek (pronounced but-chek!) that kept calling and calling and harassing the staff. They were hoping I didn't get "Butchek'ed". Egads.
  • bzmom
    bzmom Posts: 1,332 Member
    I work for a non-profit and was setting up laptops in the conference room. Someone had fd up really bad on a program we use and we had to have volunteers (including myself) work overtime to fix the fkup. Well one of the laptops started acting up I believe it froze at mid start up or something so I had to do a hard boot, anyways they heard me huffin and puffin behind the laptop and asked if it was okay my responce was "it likes it rough" everyone busted out laughing and couldnt believe that came out of my mouth LOL!!!!
  • sister_bear
    sister_bear Posts: 529 Member
    oh geez.... Im the queen of saying really inappropriate things when the room suddenly gets quiet. its like my gift. :laugh:

    I have a habit of saying ""Ball Sack!" when I hurt myself. Didnt realize how much I said it until one of my little ones repeated it. Trying to keep that one under wraps now!

    I drop the d-bag in the car at bad drivers all the time. My daughter asked me once what a juice bag was. ooops. I now try to call people juice boxes when I am in the company of innocent ears.

    Am so stealing this... I know plenty of juice boxes.
  • mommared53
    mommared53 Posts: 9,543 Member
    Ok, I'm going to tell on myself. Years ago I used to work at a pizza place that also sold chicken, One day I was in the back breading chicken and the phones got busy. My boyfriend, who was the manager at the time, yelled for me to help answer the phones. I yelled back "I coming" and my boss and co-workers (all male except for one) started laughing. I was so embarrased. I was very careful after that to say "I'll be right there" or something like that when someone yelled for me to do anything. :embarassed:
  • polar5554
    polar5554 Posts: 576 Member
    Spoke with a lady that had a loud buzzing noise coming from a piece of equipment. Jokingly I asked if that was her equipment or if she was trimming her bush? I didn't catch the reference until after I said it.
    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • Sonofabiscuit2
    Sonofabiscuit2 Posts: 323 Member
    My now ex-father-in-law has always referred to any massager as a vibrator, imagine my shock when he told his daughter that a vibrator would help her headaches.
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