too "small" for encouragement?

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13

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  • chevy88grl
    chevy88grl Posts: 3,937 Member
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    thank you to everyone who posted! i started to reply individually, but it got overwhelming! seems to be a hot topic - nice to know i'm not the only one:)

    What I get from co-workers is "You can eat a donut, cookie, piece of cake, candy and you won't die! It won't kill you! Go ahead and do it! You're so skinny anyway -- it'll be good for you!"

    Look. Eating that junk is what got me to 203lbs -- so while I may be "skinny" now, I wasn't always skinny and eating junk isn't the way to keep it this way!

    *shakes head*
  • MaryKatU
    MaryKatU Posts: 146
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    My signature ticker used to state my weight but people wouldn't reply to questions I posted so I changed it and now I get more responses. Wonder what would happen if I removed my ticker all together.
  • Sofitness
    Sofitness Posts: 54
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    I get this all the time, too! I don't need loose more weight, I'm eating to little, I'm obsessed. What they don't know is that now I'm at my healthiest, and I actually was eating too little and was obsessed quite a while ago, but I was too fat for people to suspect anything.
    What I hate the most is a fact that nobody around me doesn't seem to see any other reason for eating healthy and exercising than weight loss.
    Sure, I want to loose six to ten more pounds, but that doesn't mean I'm planning on eating like I used to or watching TV all day by then. I want to stay healthy and when I bring a healthy lunch, or don't eat a free doughnut or mention exercising, they say I don't need to do this anymore, I'm anorexic, and so on. I just don't get it, why is taking care of my body suddenly considered wrong?
  • withchaco
    withchaco Posts: 1,026 Member
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    For me, it depends. I know a girl who wants to lose her muscle tone on her legs to make her legs thinner... She knows it's muscle and not fat, and she still says things like "I wish I could just slice these off." That's not healthy and I can't bring myself to be supportive about it!

    However, I also know another girl who is equally thin (they're both XS), and she recently decided she wants to exercise and be more fit. I support that 100%. I would also whole-heartedly support other kinds of "healthier me" lifestyle changes, such as quitting smoking. It doesn't have to be about weight loss or body image.
  • melibea
    melibea Posts: 228
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    I have a friend who is smaller than me and she complains she's fat all the time. Then when talk about my weight loss goals she says "But you look great like you are right now!"

    Seriously, what's up with the inconsistency there? -___-
  • PurpleStarKatz
    PurpleStarKatz Posts: 45 Member
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    I'm right there with you guys. I don't even bother to bring it up with my friends. As much as I love them, they just don't understand that there is such a thing as "fat-skinny" and that's exactly where I was. It's really frustrating that I can't say anything to my friends who are twice my size. But I've made my decisions to eat healthy, be more active, and lose a little bit of weight. I don't really want to lose more than 12 pounds... That would get into unhealthy territory after that. But somewhere between 110 and 115 would be fantastic as I'm a small frame to begin with.
    Eh, sorry about my somewhat pointless rant. Apparently I'm more tired than I thought. xD
    Anyway, thanks all and best of luck to all of you! =] =]
  • significance
    significance Posts: 436 Member
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    I find "you don't need to lose weight" encouraging! It means my work so far has been successful and if I keep it up, I'm bound to reach my target.
  • suzycreamcheese
    suzycreamcheese Posts: 1,766 Member
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    i just dont tell them im watching my weight.
  • weeze_h
    weeze_h Posts: 72
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    My signature ticker used to state my weight but people wouldn't reply to questions I posted so I changed it and now I get more responses. Wonder what would happen if I removed my ticker all together.


    This is very interesting, I too changed my ticker from showing my weight although haven't posted much since. Kinda felt embarrassed that i *only* want to lose 10lbs when there's people on here losing hundreds of lbs.

    I too haven't told anyone apart from my husband that i'm wanting to lose weight. I'm 5'8" and was 140lbs about 4years ago, I stopped going to the gym and my weight went up to 154lbs. I noticed the gain but my friends didn't and they all seemed to think I was very healthy, always exercising which wasn't the case and used to get me really annoyed when they would say things like 'well you're ok at least you excercise' (no i didn't! lol) so now I just don't tell them I'm losing weight as I think if they never noticed the 14lbs gain then they probably won't notice the (hopefully) 14lbs loss.
  • SaddyPants
    SaddyPants Posts: 152 Member
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    Congrats on all of your hard work! I don't think there should be such a thing as "too small for encouragement" but I have unfortunately seen it around here. I imagine it can't be easy and I'm sorry that ya'll have to deal with that.

    I just wanted to make a quick comment about people irl who say, "You look great now" or "You don't need to lose any more weight", etc. I think those people are trying to be encouraging in their own way. Maybe they think you are just feeling down about yourself at the moment and they might just be trying to boost your confidence. I would try not to take those comments negatively unless you know for certain they mean it that way. (and tbh, we all know about back-handed compliments from haters. lol)
  • monkeysmum
    monkeysmum Posts: 522 Member
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    yup dfefinately i only need lose 20-25lbs my hubby needs to lose 50lbs his is dropping off i struggle to lose 1lb and he is supportive other people are well i can see he need sto lose but ure fine as you are
    i just ignore them i know i need to lose some and im doing it for me so thats all that matters
  • alexfaty
    alexfaty Posts: 61
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    Yes I know what you mean too, I'm about 150lbs want to be 120 - 126lbs ay 5'3" I AM in the overweight BMI but because I am not that big and short people look at me like I am nuts when I say I am watching what I eat! I never say the diet word because then 1/2 my friends let me not to be stupid!
    Thing is before I had a baby I have never been over 9stone and I know things change BUT I don't want to be a flabby mummy anymore!

    Good luck x
  • suvernscorpio
    suvernscorpio Posts: 41 Member
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    Oh you don't know how happy I am to see this post and I hope you don't mind me adding a few as friends as I've been looking for motivation and people in a similar boat.

    I'm 43 with 5 children and my weight was always between 126 - 136 IB's

    My weight crept up to 144 before my 5th child (4 years ago) and then has been between 150-154 since.

    I'm currently around 144 which although I might look good in clothes compared to most people my age, I am only 5'4 and this is far too heavy for ME.

    I only want to lose another 8 - 11 ib but finding it quite hardwork. It doesn't feel like I eat that much but I do try to eat a lot more when I'm rowing (indoor rower).

    Friends always say how slim I am and although I realise as a nation we are getting bigger especially the younger generation, I do not want tight clothes or be at the far end of a 'heavy' BMI

    I want to be slim, toned and really healthy because of my children not because of any other reason. My partner is happy with the way I am and even I am to be honest which makes it harder, I just need the scales to read a slightly lower weight :) so I know I am of a healthy BMI.

    Debbie :)
  • marisa67
    marisa67 Posts: 19 Member
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    I was hesitating joining MFP, because I only have a small amount of weight I want to lose and I was not sure how people would respond to that. So, I am happy to have found this thread. More than anything for me it is about toning up and feeling good. I used to be a dancer and in great shape, but over the years I have gained weight (especially after children) that just won't budge. My husband thinks I look fine and he says it is just my age and figure changing. While that is probably also true, i would still just like to tone up more. My legs are a real problem area (lots of cellulite) and I am hoping to finally see some muscle definition. I am hoping MFP will help me stick to a plan of exercise and watching what I eat.
  • brph26
    brph26 Posts: 207 Member
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    Totally agree with the original poster!! I have always had a problem with this.

    People can be so rude. I know how much I used to weigh before kids, and I want to get back to that. I know my body won't be exactly the same, but my weight can be the same. I have lost 22 lbs so far and have 4 more to go. These last 4 seem to be harder than the first 20! So, yes it is a struggle for us "smaller" people just as much of a struggle as it is for anyone else, regardless of size!

    All of my friends irl are bigger than me and I never feel comfortable talking to them about weight loss. My best friend and I started trying to lose at the same time, but I don't think she really followed through on it all. I have told her about mfp a few times, but oh well. They have to want it, and get it set in their minds that they are going to do it before anything changes....that's how I was anyway.
  • phenrichs
    phenrichs Posts: 102
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    I actually fear the day that I hit my target weight. I have been feeling so much better physically and emotionally since I started losing that it has been truly easy for me. Once I got used to eating a deficit of course. But when I hit that target..... I am afraid of how hard it is going to be. I plan to lose the weight first then start trimming up and doing serious weight training so I am not a pencil. But that will be hard work. It will also be hard to find the right balance to maintain so I gain weight in a good way like muscle and not fat. I don't want to start bouncing. I totally understand what you mean although I am not quite there yet.
  • WhyW8
    WhyW8 Posts: 54 Member
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    I have found wonderful support on MFP - in real life, at first not so much. I got the "you don't need to loose, blah, blah, blah" but I have always hidden weight really well - now that I have lost most of it, and mind you I run at work on my lunchbreak so people see me in all my spandexed glory which doesn't leave much room for hiding anything, people are starting to say that I look really good but these are the same people who said I looked good before so I'm not really taking them too seriously. I feel wonderful now, my husband loves it and I'm fitting into clothes that I thought I would have to donate. And still it's not over - now I want to have more muscle tone so thats the next part. If you have healthy goals for weight loss then do what feels right to you. I reached my goal weight and then said, nah, I need a bit more - its your goal not theirs so just do it. And if you really get fed up, just give them the mental finger! ;)
  • jane130
    jane130 Posts: 28 Member
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    For some reason it seems that people don't see that diet and what you look like go hand in hand.
    On the one hand, I have people telling me that I'm being too extreme and I don't need to worry about what I eat anymore.
    On the other hand, people tell me how great I look and how envious they are of my body. Don't they see that the two things go together? You can't have one without the other.
  • ChChCharlie
    ChChCharlie Posts: 67
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    I know exactly what you mean! But luckily mine is usually from work folks... They don't know what I look like under my baggy uniform! Most of my friends are male so it's not usually topic of conversation with them!

    Luckily my husband and parents know what my goal weight is and agree it is right for me!
  • ShannonBas
    ShannonBas Posts: 101 Member
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    Congrats to everyone for coming so far on their journeys! I truly hope that y'all succeed in meeting your goals. (however small or large they may be!) A goal is a goal, no matter what it is. :heart:

    I actually USED to weigh in around 135 lbs, but unfortunately ballooned up to over 200 lbs!!! YIKES! :noway: I can't wait for the day when I get back down below 140 again. It will be so nice. :happy:

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