you cant tell people anything

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ANHmommy
ANHmommy Posts: 27 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
i wiuld like to start this post by saying the last couple of weeks i have been failing in my weight loss goal by eating more than i should and not logging...that being said i know that a person trying to lose weight should not do the following...

my next door neighbor was telling me yesterday that she is trying to lose a bit of weight and boost her stamina...i asked her how it was going and she proceded to tell me that she was eating 600 cals a day, running every night and not eating back the excercise cals, and was trying for a pound a day...this girl is 5'8" and about 138lbs...within normal range for her bmi, and if she has an ounce of fat on her it must be invisible...she said she wants to be 120-125 by the time she is done...i immediatly told her what she was doing wasnt safe for her body and she said its what another neighbor has been doing to lose weight...i didnt try to argue...

she told me she was doing this without medical advice, so her doc has no clue what she is doing to her body...she doesnt use a food scale and goes off what her packaged food states...

it makes me sad to know what she is doing...esp since she knows how much ive done to lose the last 3 lbs...for someone to do a crash like this unhealthily is mind blowing

and yes i know...not my circus, not my monkeys...
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Replies

  • ANHmommy
    ANHmommy Posts: 27 Member
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    that is why i didnt try to argue the facts with her..
  • quiksylver296
    quiksylver296 Posts: 28,442 Member
    edited January 2016
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    That's frustrating when you see someone doing something so dangerous.

    I've had a co-worker ask me three different times what I am doing to lose weight. I've explained, all three times, that I am just tracking my calories in MFP using a food scale. Not cutting out foods, not drinking special shakes or taking any pills. She has said, all three times, that using a food scale is too hard... :/ Then quit asking me!
  • Squirrel698
    Squirrel698 Posts: 127 Member
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    People will be people. Everyone think they can beat the odds and who knows, maybe she will. The thing is, everyone is on their own journey. You have to let others make mistakes because that's how we all learn and grow. It's a shame when those mistakes result in injury but once again their path is not yours. You gave her good advice; that's all you really can do.
  • markrgeary1
    markrgeary1 Posts: 853 Member
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    Our neighbor lost 50 pounds be eating 800 calories per day. She told me that in last spring, she's gained it all back now. Asked what we're doing, then tells me she's going back to the 800 calorie diet.

    Oh well.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,618 Member
    edited January 2016
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    This isn't uncommon. It's funny if you ask someone: "Would you step out in front of traffic without looking?", "Would you take a medication that's not yours?", "Would you go run down the street at night in an unfamiliar neighborhood by yourself?" and all the answers would be almost likely be "NO".
    But then say "I can show you a way to lose 10lbs, but it may harbor on dangerous.", then answer is "What is it?"

    Sad.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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  • starbuckaddict
    starbuckaddict Posts: 38 Member
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    I hope your neighbor doesn't develop an eating disorder.
  • krithsai
    krithsai Posts: 668 Member
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    Ah...the eternal dilemma of minding your business vs showing someone that what they're doing is harmful :neutral:
  • niniundlapin
    niniundlapin Posts: 327 Member
    edited January 2016
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    I kind of understand the mindset for both sides, the healthy and unhealthy ones. Before I have any sort of knowledge about weight-loss, I'd like to try those seemingly fast and effective "magical weight-melting" methods. But when time went by & after multiple failures, I started to do what the professionals would suggest and am on track since then. That's why my personal history of weight-loss is 16 years but it took me almost 10 years (the past 10 years) to successfully lose 24 lbs.

    It's a painful yet personal learning experience, and not everyone can accept the healthy way for permanent weight-loss from the moment they decide to lose weight, especially for those who're not too far from their goals (from my personal experience) or those who have unrealistic goals...
  • shadowfax_c11
    shadowfax_c11 Posts: 1,942 Member
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    In this case it is good that she is not using a food scale. She is probably eating a lot more than she thinks she is. Since she does not need to lose weight and has an unhealthy view on the subject you don't really want her being accurate in her pursuit of extreme weight loss. So just smile and nod and let it go.

    Sometimes you have to just let people do what they are going to do. If they are not ready or willing to hear what you have to say you can't force them to and trying could potentially really damage a relationship that you might enjoy.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,618 Member
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    krithsai wrote: »
    Ah...the eternal dilemma of minding your business vs showing someone that what they're doing is harmful :neutral:
    What's even better is it becomes gossip amongst a group of friends.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
    9285851.png

  • quiksylver296
    quiksylver296 Posts: 28,442 Member
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    shadowfax_c11 wrote: »
    In this case it is good that she is not using a food scale. She is probably eating a lot more than she thinks she is. Since she does not need to lose weight and has an unhealthy view on the subject you don't really want her being accurate in her pursuit of extreme weight loss. So just smile and nod and let it go.

    Sometimes you have to just let people do what they are going to do. If they are not ready or willing to hear what you have to say you can't force them to and trying could potentially really damage a relationship that you might enjoy.

    This is a good point and probably true.
  • tara_means_star
    tara_means_star Posts: 957 Member
    edited January 2016
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    A friend of mine said she was eating under 1000 calories to lose weight. I told her it wasn't healthy. I got the dreaded eyebrow raise so I shut up.
  • MostlyWater
    MostlyWater Posts: 4,294 Member
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    You really can't say anything. It's a shame.
  • ANHmommy
    ANHmommy Posts: 27 Member
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    as someone who has known her for years i dont want to see her hurt herself, but on the other hand she has never been one to listen to advice (about anything from anyone)...it makes me sad
  • dolliesdaughter
    dolliesdaughter Posts: 544 Member
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    Hey, she didn't ask any questions, so I just would have smiled and listened to her nonsense. I just can't with folks and weight loss.
  • SoDamnHungry
    SoDamnHungry Posts: 6,998 Member
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    All you can do is tell her it's unhealthy and why. After you've done your part she has to figure it out herself.
  • hsmith0930
    hsmith0930 Posts: 160 Member
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    God, I hate 1) that a woman who is perfectly healthy would feel the need to do something so drastic to improve the number she sees on a scale! I'm all for a person improving for themselves. Building muscle or lowering body fat%. But seriously, even if she is actually eating more, it stinks that she thinks she needs to try to kill herself. and 2) that she has obviously received support for the idea from somewhere (online, in person, informercials, whatever) and truly doesn't understand the risks to her health and vitality.
  • Lovee_Dove7
    Lovee_Dove7 Posts: 742 Member
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    One way to help is just to "track" with her. If the conversation makes her wall-off and not share with you, then the topic is closed. But if you take a genuine interest without judging at all, you can ask her later how it's going. She may open up to sharing with you then being open to your input!
  • williams969
    williams969 Posts: 2,528 Member
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    Nope, you can't (with some people). My mother in law, who lives with us now, has congestive heart disease and kidney failure. I feed her according to her health team's orders. 6 months later, she's on less meds (and kidneys are not in neexd of dialysis) and her pants are literally falling off (she had about 20-30 extra lbs on her).

    I feed her the types of things she likes, just tweaked to closely match her medical needs (she sees how I prepare and shops with me). She claims I'm doing it (my way of eating/feeding my family) unhealthy and I'm killing them all, slowly, because once a week we eat fast food in modest quantity.

    As if eating at greasy spoons twice a day, and potato chips for dinner was the "right" way (her prior eating ways).
  • ANHmommy
    ANHmommy Posts: 27 Member
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    im going to keep being supportive in a healthy way and not get overbearing...what advice she takes, she takes...hopefully in time she will see the error of this, and hopefully before she cause real damage to herself

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