you cant tell people anything

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  • Nuke_64
    Nuke_64 Posts: 406 Member
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    When I run into people like this, I try to say something like "I spent a lot of time reading others people success and what most of the medical community recommend. From that, the conclusion seems to be that weight loss that fast will result in loss of too much lean mass-stuff you don't want to lose and a diet like that is not sustainable. You will probably end up gaining all the weight you loss back."

    Point being, I don't try to make myself an expert based on my Google/MFP degree, but do try to share what learned. If you take the tack that is typical on the community boards here, something like "That's unhealthy, its not going work long term, you are trying to lose too fast" the person is going to shut down and not listen to you.
  • kshama2001
    kshama2001 Posts: 27,946 Member
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    Nuke_64 wrote: »
    When I run into people like this, I try to say something like "I spent a lot of time reading others people success and what most of the medical community recommend. From that, the conclusion seems to be that weight loss that fast will result in loss of too much lean mass-stuff you don't want to lose and a diet like that is not sustainable. You will probably end up gaining all the weight you loss back."

    Point being, I don't try to make myself an expert based on my Google/MFP degree, but do try to share what learned. If you take the tack that is typical on the community boards here, something like "That's unhealthy, its not going work long term, you are trying to lose too fast" the person is going to shut down and not listen to you.

    Well said.
  • missblondi2u
    missblondi2u Posts: 851 Member
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    I sympathize. A few months after I started to lose weight, my boss decided he wanted to do the same. I would guess he's about 5'11" and started with about 50 pounds to lose. He set his calorie goal at 1200, he takes about 15K steps everyday according to fitbit, and he doesn't eat any of those calories back. He's been at it for a little over 2 months, and of course he's dropping weight like crazy! I casually mentioned that 1200 sounded really low, and that I was losing 1lb/week on closer to 1700 calories and I'm 5'2". He said 1lb a week was too slow for him, and that as soon as he reached his goal weight he would go back to "eating normally."

    I resisted the urge to tell him that he was likely losing a good deal of muscle and that if he immediately went from 1200 calories to unmitigated eating he would just gain it all back, because he's my boss and I didn't want to argue with him on it. Luckily, he logs but doesn't use a food scale, so he's likely eating more than 1200 calories. I'll just let him hit the wall and hopefully try it again the right way!
  • tulips_and_tea
    tulips_and_tea Posts: 5,711 Member
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    ANHmommy wrote: »
    im going to keep being supportive in a healthy way and not get overbearing...what advice she takes, she takes...hopefully in time she will see the error of this, and hopefully before she cause real damage to herself

    It's all you can do, really. If she brings it up again or you talk to her about it, I'd approach it from the energy aspect. I'd ask her how her runs are going and if she feels she has enough fuel for them. As a friend, I'm sure you'd hate to have her pass out somewhere while out running or on the treadmill. As others have noted, since she doesn't use a food scale she probably is eating more than she thinks.
  • tulips_and_tea
    tulips_and_tea Posts: 5,711 Member
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    williams969 wrote: »
    Nope, you can't (with some people). My mother in law, who lives with us now, has congestive heart disease and kidney failure. I feed her according to her health team's orders. 6 months later, she's on less meds (and kidneys are not in neexd of dialysis) and her pants are literally falling off (she had about 20-30 extra lbs on her).

    I feed her the types of things she likes, just tweaked to closely match her medical needs (she sees how I prepare and shops with me). She claims I'm doing it (my way of eating/feeding my family) unhealthy and I'm killing them all, slowly, because once a week we eat fast food in modest quantity.

    As if eating at greasy spoons twice a day, and potato chips for dinner was the "right" way (her prior eating ways).

    Wow! She's lost that much weight and doesn't need dialysis and yet she still claims your way is unhealthy??? I don't even know what to say about that other than good for you for taking such good care of her and your family and yourself.
  • Jess830409
    Jess830409 Posts: 285 Member
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    How the heck is she able to run only eating 600 calories?!
    I would think that would be awful :-(
  • callsitlikeiseeit
    callsitlikeiseeit Posts: 8,627 Member
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    thts why i dont even try to tell people anything anymore.

    my routine answer hen im asked how i do it

    'eat less, move more'

    and even that is 'too hard' for people to do ;)
  • ANHmommy
    ANHmommy Posts: 27 Member
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    Jess830409 wrote: »
    How the heck is she able to run only eating 600 calories?!
    I would think that would be awful :-(

    im not sure how long her "runs" are...if they are anything like we used to do (4-5 mile stretches) then i have no idea where the energy to do them is coming from...but i digress, i keep shaking my head at all she told me yesterday...im so glad to have started my weight loss journey the way my doctor advised
  • Debmal77
    Debmal77 Posts: 4,770 Member
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    ANHmommy wrote: »
    i wiuld like to start this post by saying the last couple of weeks i have been failing in my weight loss goal by eating more than i should and not logging...that being said i know that a person trying to lose weight should not do the following...

    my next door neighbor was telling me yesterday that she is trying to lose a bit of weight and boost her stamina...i asked her how it was going and she proceded to tell me that she was eating 600 cals a day, running every night and not eating back the excercise cals, and was trying for a pound a day...this girl is 5'8" and about 138lbs...within normal range for her bmi, and if she has an ounce of fat on her it must be invisible...she said she wants to be 120-125 by the time she is done...i immediatly told her what she was doing wasnt safe for her body and she said its what another neighbor has been doing to lose weight...i didnt try to argue...

    she told me she was doing this without medical advice, so her doc has no clue what she is doing to her body...she doesnt use a food scale and goes off what her packaged food states...

    it makes me sad to know what she is doing...esp since she knows how much ive done to lose the last 3 lbs...for someone to do a crash like this unhealthily is mind blowing

    and yes i know...not my circus, not my monkeys...

    If she carries on like this and is only eating 600 calories (not even at BMR) she will be seeing her doctor again and very soon I might add.
  • tara_means_star
    tara_means_star Posts: 957 Member
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    ANHmommy wrote: »
    Jess830409 wrote: »
    How the heck is she able to run only eating 600 calories?!
    I would think that would be awful :-(

    im not sure how long her "runs" are...if they are anything like we used to do (4-5 mile stretches) then i have no idea where the energy to do them is coming from...but i digress, i keep shaking my head at all she told me yesterday...im so glad to have started my weight loss journey the way my doctor advised

    She's probably eating more than she thinks/says she is anyway.
  • lulalacroix
    lulalacroix Posts: 1,082 Member
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    Just because she wasn't so receptive at the time doesn't mean she didn't really listen. Sometimes people need to digest the information before they heed the advice. And then sometimes they just ignore the advice all together.

    But I kind of have to chuckle at someone at a good weight trying to lose a pound a day. That's so close to impossible.
  • williams969
    williams969 Posts: 2,528 Member
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    BZAH10 wrote: »
    williams969 wrote: »
    Nope, you can't (with some people). My mother in law, who lives with us now, has congestive heart disease and kidney failure. I feed her according to her health team's orders. 6 months later, she's on less meds (and kidneys are not in neexd of dialysis) and her pants are literally falling off (she had about 20-30 extra lbs on her).

    I feed her the types of things she likes, just tweaked to closely match her medical needs (she sees how I prepare and shops with me). She claims I'm doing it (my way of eating/feeding my family) unhealthy and I'm killing them all, slowly, because once a week we eat fast food in modest quantity.

    As if eating at greasy spoons twice a day, and potato chips for dinner was the "right" way (her prior eating ways).

    Wow! She's lost that much weight and doesn't need dialysis and yet she still claims your way is unhealthy??? I don't even know what to say about that other than good for you for taking such good care of her and your family and yourself.

    Yeah, she's ornery, and claims the change in meds is the cause of her weight loss, not the other way around. I shrug and go, "must be so". And carry on with what I do. She just is blind to the fact that eating right (for one's needs) does not have to be exotic or punishing and tasteless.
  • brb_2013
    brb_2013 Posts: 1,197 Member
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    quiksylver296 wrote: »
    That's frustrating when you see someone doing something so dangerous.

    I've had a co-worker ask me three different times what I am doing to lose weight. I've explained, all three times, that I am just tracking my calories in MFP using a food scale. Not cutting out foods, not drinking special shakes or taking any pills. She has said, all three times, that using a food scale is too hard... :/ Then quit asking me!

    No one wants to believe they actually have to DO something to change their bodies.
  • sheermomentum
    sheermomentum Posts: 827 Member
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    You tried. Perhaps the best you can do is keep a friendly (but quiet) eye on her if you guys speak often, and ask how she's feeling.

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