Family won't eat healthy
KR226
Posts: 14 Member
I've been trying to get my family to eat healthy for almost two years now, but they just won't. Mom has type 1 diabetes, sister #1 is allergic to gluten, and sister #2 only hears me call her fat, even though that's not what I'm doing at all. Sister 1 has never eaten vegetables or fruit in her life, and has resorted to just bacon and eggs, nachos from a fast food place (which everyone says is "healthy" totally not.) ice cream, and processed meats. Mom had to watch carbs, and says eating vegetables and something else (mashed potatoes) is too much starch and carbs. But instead of getting vegetables, she's eats the unhealthy carbs, way too much processed meat and red meat, (hot dogs, cheeseburgers, which she says has vegetables, but I've only seen her put bacon on it,) and no fruit. They both call lettuce, bacon, croutons, and dressing a salad. No vegetables. Sister 2 wants to lose weight, but won't listen to me when I tell her she needs to cut her white carbs (cereal, giant meals she eats from her work that have no nutritional value) she eats more vegetables and fruit than sister 1 and mom, but not that much. Her meals are too sugary, and she refuses to see that. She also refuses to do cardio. Both sisters tell me the advice I'm giving them is wrong, and that I should just shut up, because they both think I have an eating disorder, (I don't, I'm just thin and I like to exercise.) I don't know what to do. But I don't want to sit back and watch them kill themselves, and I'm
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Replies
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You can't force others to do things they don't want to. They see it as an attack and possibly as you saying you are better than them. Take care of yourself, help provide healthier options when you get the chance, encourage them to join you for walks or easy activities (not exercise!).
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Let them do them and you do you. You can't change other people, they have to want to make the change themselves. Also, stop foisting your opinion and views of healthy and not healthy on them. They've already expressed your advice is unwanted and unsolicited, so stop. You're doing more damage than good. Focus on yourself and if they come to you with questions then answer them. Otherwise, butt out.0
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They are on their own journey, sad to say. Focus on yours. Support them when you can.0
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The more you insist, the worst people will dig in.0 -
You can't make anyone do anything they don't want to do. You've already told them what you think they should be doing, but ultimately they are adults and will make their own decisions. At this point the best thing you can do is take your sisters' advice and shut up. Constant negative reinforcement often just makes people want to do that activity even more, whilst also resenting you for it.0
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But it's not negative. I haven't forced anything on them, they've only asked, and I've answered. I haven't said my opinions of their food to their face, only on here.0
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And thank you for your opinions.0
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If they want to lose weight, suggest MFP to them, and then let the people here help them. That way they will get good info, and you're not involved.0
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"I tell her she needs to cut her white carbs"
- This criticism is wrong.0 -
I don't understand how that's wrong, can you explain, please?0
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Reading back through your first post I have to say that your help to them sets the bar too high for beginners.Sister 2 wants to lose weight, but won't listen to me when I tell her she needs to cut her white carbs (cereal, giant meals she eats from her work that have no nutritional value) she eats more vegetables and fruit than sister 1 and mom, but not that much. Her meals are too sugary, and she refuses to see that. She also refuses to do cardio. Both sisters tell me the advice I'm giving them is wrong
White carbs are not the devil and since you never mentioned sister 2 being diabetic or having other conditions maybe those foods will help keep her on track. Often telling people what they can't do makes them want to do it more. Cardio is not absolutely necessary for fat loss, so she can find other activities she enjoys that will do far more than avoiding exercise altogether.0 -
Well since some of your info is wrong like pointed out above, maybe they have a point? Please explain how white carbs would prevent sister #2 from losing weight ?
I've eaten plenty of carbs throughout my entire process of weight loss and maintaining for 2+ yrs so far and have had no issues whatsoever. I have visable abs and my doctor is impressed with me. Carbs or white carbs don't cause people to gain weight or prevent them from losing. A calorie surplus would .0 -
Sure.
First there is nothing wrong with white carbs, per se. It is about total amount of calories - often people that eat bread, for example, eat too much. But it doesn't mean that white carbs are bad. Just total calories.
Focusing on specific foods is a good way for people to push back advice.
Help them identify goals and identify FOR themselves how they are going to get to those goals. Not criticising their plate.0 -
Their right in that your advice is wrong. They don't have to cut sugar or carbs out, they just need to eat less than they burn.0
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Okay. But, I still don't know why it was wrong of me to say that. White carbs are the bad ones, right? The simple carbs. Shouldn't we be consuming less of those, and more of the complex?0
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I'd let them download mfp for themselves if they want and let them pick whatever foods they want.0
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Presumably they're adults so it's up to them what they want to eat, you just do you.0
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