How to deal with girlfriend ruining my diet?
Replies
-
First of all, you don't have to eat chicken and broccoli every day. Don't know where you got that idea. Eat what you like, just in portions that fit the calorie goal that MFP gave you.
You can eat out. If the place you're going to has their menu online, you can easily plan ahead. If not, just do the best you can. Restaurants often offer huge portions, so I typically eat half of everything that's on my plate and bring the rest home for lunch the next day.
Of course, the first thing you should do is talk to your girlfriend and tell her that you don't appreciate it when she holds a gun to your head and force feeds you grow up and realize that you are responsible for your own actions, that no one can force you to make bad choices and that it's not your girlfriend who is ruining your diet.0 -
My husband and I will often split a starter and a main. He gets 2/3 I get 1/3.. Smaller portion means less calories. No wastage.
Problem solved!0 -
If she can't finish a whole dinner, why not settle on one dish to order and just split it? Make it fit your calories and there's no waste.0
-
Id say the number one thing you could do is ask for boxes at the START of dinner. Box up half of the girlfriends dinner (and whatever you shouldnt be eating in advance). Out of sight... Out of mind... Some time in the middle of your dinner... Simply stand up and walk somewhere... (Go to the bathroom... Anything). Sometimes you don't notice how full you are when you're sitting. Take your time while you're eating. Talk to your girlfriend.... Take a bite once every 30 seconds. Also... Contrary to what may seem to make sense... Don't starve yourself before going out for dinner trying to make up for it in advance. You're sabotaging yourself if you start dinner in a ravanous state. Finally... Be willing to throw out food.... Dinner for your girlfriend is about sharing company with you. It's a social event. It's not about maximizing the utility of your dollar per pound of food. I stop eating when I'm not hungry. I throw out or save what's left. This may seem wasteful... But add up the number of calories wasted maintaining an overweight body. More food is wasted maintaining high body weights than food thrown out at restaurants.0
-
Stop blaming her for your own shortcomings.
I don't understand why people don't read the whole thread. I admitted that it's my fault. It's my decision to overeat. Now I need to overcome that. So far you guys had given me great strategies to deal with my weak self control.
But seeing "Stop blaming her for your own shortcomings", yes I had acknowledge that's it's my fault. Please, I need more elaboration on how can I correct my shortcomings. Tips or tricks would help a lot more.
Like I said before, when I see food I eat them, so rather not see junk food. I'm a very weak person, and I get very depressed on why I can't control my overeating.
Today I will try to drink more water and eat more veggies like you guys suggested.
Thanks again guys.0 -
Stop blaming her for your own shortcomings.
I don't understand why people don't read the whole thread. I admitted that it's my fault. It's my decision to overeat. Now I need to overcome that. So far you guys had given me great strategies to deal with my weak self control.
But seeing "Stop blaming her for your own shortcomings", yes I had acknowledge that's it's my fault. Please, I need more elaboration on how can I correct my shortcomings. Tips or tricks would help a lot more.
Like I said before, when I see food I eat them, so rather not see junk food. I'm a very weak person, and I get very depressed on why I can't control my overeating.
Today I will try to drink more water and eat more veggies like you guys suggested.
Thanks again guys.
I think people are just responding to the language that you used. You said your girlfriend is "ruining" your diet. No, your choices are what is impacting your diet. And you said you "have" to eat the food she doesn't eat. No, you're not obligated to eat it. You choose to eat it.
If the issue is that when you see food you want to eat it, that's what you need to address. Any successful plan to maintain a weight loss will require us to navigate a world with a variety of food choices. We have to learn how to say "no" and focus on what we really want to eat.0 -
I don't understand why people don't read the whole thread. I admitted that it's my fault. It's my decision to overeat. Now I need to overcome that. So far you guys had given me great strategies to deal with my weak self control.
But seeing "Stop blaming her for your own shortcomings", yes I had acknowledge that's it's my fault. Please, I need more elaboration on how can I correct my shortcomings. Tips or tricks would help a lot more.
Like I said before, when I see food I eat them, so rather not see junk food. I'm a very weak person, and I get very depressed on why I can't control my overeating.
Today I will try to drink more water and eat more veggies like you guys suggested.
Thanks again guys.
I would suggest therapy or at least doing a little reading on mindfulness. It has helped me to control my binges a lot. I've been struggling with the same thing, eating past being full and feeling out of control about it. I try to stop and ask myself why I'm eating. If it's just because there's food in front of me, or because I'm sad or stressed, that's not a good reason. It takes time and practice.
And yeah, share how you're feeling with your girlfriend. I wish I'd done that, but when I was dating someone and trying to lose weight I just ended up pushing them away because I felt so bad about myself.0 -
Talk to her, offer to cook for her, but please stop eating 'chicken breast and broccoli'. You can lose weight by eating tasty food that isn't boring.
And yeah, I don't get the 'I have to eat her food' part.0 -
janejellyroll wrote: »I think people are just responding to the language that you used. You said your girlfriend is "ruining" your diet. No, your choices are what is impacting your diet. And you said you "have" to eat the food she doesn't eat. No, you're not obligated to eat it. You choose to eat it.
If the issue is that when you see food you want to eat it, that's what you need to address. Any successful plan to maintain a weight loss will require us to navigate a world with a variety of food choices. We have to learn how to say "no" and focus on what we really want to eat.
He may not have picked the best words.. but as a guy whose gone through this.... (not to say this is everyone or even a majority) but i've had many women downplay my weight loss journey. Dieting is not seen as the most masculine activity. I've had some women just say "Oh, you can just stop drinking beer and drop 20 pounds" or "don't lose any more weight, you're too skinny" when you are still BMI overweight... or the "you can eat pizza, its no big deal for you guys it comes off so easy". In some ways, yes, its easier for guys to drop weight. I can say, however, people tend to not be as supportive.
0 -
howeclectic wrote: »janejellyroll wrote: »I think people are just responding to the language that you used. You said your girlfriend is "ruining" your diet. No, your choices are what is impacting your diet. And you said you "have" to eat the food she doesn't eat. No, you're not obligated to eat it. You choose to eat it.
If the issue is that when you see food you want to eat it, that's what you need to address. Any successful plan to maintain a weight loss will require us to navigate a world with a variety of food choices. We have to learn how to say "no" and focus on what we really want to eat.
He may not have picked the best words.. but as a guy whose gone through this.... (not to say this is everyone or even a majority) but i've had many women downplay my weight loss journey. Dieting is not seen as the most masculine activity. I've had some women just say "Oh, you can just stop drinking beer and drop 20 pounds" or "don't lose any more weight, you're too skinny" when you are still BMI overweight... or the "you can eat pizza, its no big deal for you guys it comes off so easy". In some ways, yes, its easier for guys to drop weight. I can say, however, people tend to not be as supportive.
That's really unfortunate. Thanks for sharing your perspective.0 -
I always eat just half an entree but wanted to point out that guys can do this as well - my fiance and I split an entree when we have dinner before a movie and so it is not practical to bring some of the food home. We also split an entree over the holidays when we ate with my family and then his family without enough time between meals.
Other than those types of situations, when I go out to eat, I always plan to bring some food home. To make yummy food last longer, I eat it slowly and mindfully. Eating it with high volume, low calorie vegetables helps as well.0 -
Well, here's one attempt at a tip, and I'm not sure how it will work but give it a shot.
Stop it with the "food will go to waste" thing. This is a personal pet peeve of mine because the only people I ever see worry about food going to waste are people who use that as an excuse to eat more food than they know they should. And you know it's an excuse because they never say "I don't want food to go to waste so I need to learn how to cook less and not put more than one serving on my plate," or "I don't want food to go to waste so I need to buy some Tupperware so I can take leftovers for lunch the next day," it's always "I don't want food to go to waste so it better get in my mouth right this minute."
Stop. By the time more food than you need gets plated up and set in front of you, the waste has already occurred, regardless of how much of it you do or do not eat. If you're that worried about it, ask your girlfriend to share an entree, or have her leftovers packaged up so you can take them for lunch. Food waste is a real issue in the world, but like any other issue of waste, the solution is to cut down on unnecessary consumption, not to increase it.0 -
Stop blaming her for your own shortcomings.
I don't understand why people don't read the whole thread. I admitted that it's my fault. It's my decision to overeat. Now I need to overcome that. So far you guys had given me great strategies to deal with my weak self control.
But seeing "Stop blaming her for your own shortcomings", yes I had acknowledge that's it's my fault. Please, I need more elaboration on how can I correct my shortcomings. Tips or tricks would help a lot more.
Like I said before, when I see food I eat them, so rather not see junk food. I'm a very weak person, and I get very depressed on why I can't control my overeating.
Today I will try to drink more water and eat more veggies like you guys suggested.
Thanks again guys.
I could see where these kinds of responses may hurt a little, but I would actually suggest that you want all perspectives. You never know which one might click
For instance I hesitated to post this but here goes. You could think of the food as "her leftovers" and just not eat it. I mean that's kind of gross. It may be a little sad when they take the plate away but better in the garbage than on your rear0 -
Since you call her your "girlfriend" and not just "my hookup", I'm assuming you have more than just a little emotional energy invested in this relationship. It that's the case, then TALK to her about how she can support YOU emotionally. Here are some prompts for you:
"I love spending time with you, but eating out poses some challenges for my healthy living plan. I'd really appreciate it if you'd support me in this thing. Can we maybe split a meal rather than getting two entrees or find a couple of places that we both enjoy where I can make some healthy choices, or maybe find something to do together that doesn't involve eating out?"
If she's pissed off by ANY of those suggestions, than she's not your "girlfriend."0 -
OK, so you admit that she's not ruining anything, and that it's your decision. That's good.
Now you need to talk to her. Explain that you are trying to lose weight and that eating out all the time makes that difficult. Go through recipe sites like Skinnytaste together, and pick out things you'd both like to try. (Seriously...I've never made anything from Skinnytaste that I've been disappointed in).
Finally, take a look at the book, "The Beck Diet Solution". It's not a diet book or a meal plan; it addresses the mental and emotional aspect of losing weight, including feeling out of control around food, and, yes, making excuses ("I don't want it to go to waste" is a big one).
Some of the exercises in the book seem over-the-top to me, but there was a lot of good that I took away from it.0 -
Mavrick_RN wrote: »Sounds like your girlfriend has more sense than you. She gets free food, eats what she wants, leaves the rest for you to clean up and you complain she's forcing you to do it.
Wisdom up there.0 -
stop whining?
break up?
talk to her?
define rules?
learn to manage going out?
Lots of choices.0 -
Hi guy,
I'm having a hard time dieting. I don't mind eating broccoli and chicken breast every single day, but my problem is my girlfriend, 1)she always want to go to out. Often when we go out, 2)we eat out. Also, when I buy her food she doesn't finish it so 3)I often have to eat her food. Is there any tips would be very helpful.
1)then take her out.
2)you can try to do this less. Cook for her. Chicks dig that. Also, when you do eat out, opt for lower calorie options. Check out nutrition info before you go.
3)no, you don't. She won't dump you for not finishing her food and if it doesn't get eaten, it's not gonna hunt you down and kill you in your sleep. And if she does dump you over her waste of food, your diet problems are solved.0 -
I got the greatest idea all of a sudden! What about whenever you go out to eat with your girlfriend, only order food for her and then your portion is whatever she doesn't eat! From what you wrote, it seems like your girlfriend likes to leave a lot of food on the plate, maybe 1/2 or 1/4 of her meals? Otherwise you wouldn't feel so guilty about throwing it away, I can totally imagine it. (I am the same way, I don't like to throw food away)
Also you could just order 1 meal for the both of you so you won't have to wait for your turn until your girlfriend is done eating. You can explain all of this to her by talking about your weight loss goals.0 -
When you go out you could plan to share. She obviously doesn't want an entire plate, so she'll probably be fine with it. Order a salad (dressing on side) and an entree and split it. It will save you money too.0
-
My Fiancé is the SAME way!!!! He ONLY wants to go out to eat. I made a compromise with him. Once a week I'll go out to eat with him IF he picks a place with healthy options or an online menu so that I can plan my meal. You have more options beside chicken and broccoli, but if that's what you like-most restaurants can serve you that.
He also brings cupcakes, donuts, beer, pizza, and others things home. It used to be hard, but I CANT blame him or anyone else for MY Success or failure, you will ALWAYS be tempted. There will ALWAYS be food everywhere. You have to get to a place where you can have control over the food.
Find other ways to go on a date. Take a healthy cooking class together, Walk around the Zoo, go bowling, take a painting or pottery class. Finally, No one is forcing you to eat her leftovers. Plan them into your diet, tell her not to bring them home, or toss them out.0 -
howeclectic wrote: »janejellyroll wrote: »I think people are just responding to the language that you used. You said your girlfriend is "ruining" your diet. No, your choices are what is impacting your diet. And you said you "have" to eat the food she doesn't eat. No, you're not obligated to eat it. You choose to eat it.
If the issue is that when you see food you want to eat it, that's what you need to address. Any successful plan to maintain a weight loss will require us to navigate a world with a variety of food choices. We have to learn how to say "no" and focus on what we really want to eat.
He may not have picked the best words.. but as a guy whose gone through this.... (not to say this is everyone or even a majority) but i've had many women downplay my weight loss journey. Dieting is not seen as the most masculine activity. I've had some women just say "Oh, you can just stop drinking beer and drop 20 pounds" or "don't lose any more weight, you're too skinny" when you are still BMI overweight... or the "you can eat pizza, its no big deal for you guys it comes off so easy". In some ways, yes, its easier for guys to drop weight. I can say, however, people tend to not be as supportive.
Well, like I said, one might want to get a new girlfriend. Maybe not the OP but there are relationships that are seriously threatened when one partner loses weight.0 -
Be nice to yourself and give yourself the diet you deserve. A balanced diet with things you love in moderation.
Don't punish yourself with too much or too little. You are good enough to be at your best.
This. This is so important. Your body does so much for you, in turn you should be taking care of it too. Remember to be kind to yourself. It's so easy to slip into negative self-talk, don't succumb to it. You need to figure out what is best for you, why do you feel the need to clean her plate in addition to yours? Address that first, then explain to your girlfriend that you need to eat out less until you can control yourself.
You don't need to blame her, but you also don't need to blame yourself. Blame doesn't get you anywhere. You're human, you will make mistakes. Dig down deep and use all the will power you have to follow through with the things you need to do.
Most importantly, forgive yourself when you slip up and get back to work.0 -
Just break up with her, you dont need that negativity in your life0
-
Mavrick_RN wrote: »Sounds like your girlfriend has more sense than you. She gets free food, eats what she wants, leaves the rest for you to clean up and you complain she's forcing you to do it. You don't need to be her garbage disposal.
Next time make her pay for it, that way it's not "your" food being wasted. Eat what you want of your own food. Go dancing or some fun activity to have a date that's not just about food.
Man up and make your own decisions. It's your life.
If the girlfriend is not on board with you living a healthier lifestyle move on.0 -
You don't have to eat her food. You have the power to say no. When my husband wants take-out I'll have him stop at subway for me or I'll just pass on it.0
-
Eat before you go out, you'll save a fortune0
-
-
If your girlfriend usually has trouble finishing her food then plan for that when you go out. Order a smaller item/no sides for yourself since you know you are going to have a portion of hers, get one thing and splt it between the two of you right away or just take the leftovers home for another meal.
There are some places where dh and I split an item between us because the portions are so large. If there is food leftover we always bring it home and someone will finish it later. We only eat out once a week or month to save money but sometimes go get drinks only.0 -
Maybe your girlfriend does not want to eat chicken and broccoli every day...0
This discussion has been closed.
Categories
- All Categories
- 1.4M Health, Wellness and Goals
- 393.4K Introduce Yourself
- 43.8K Getting Started
- 260.2K Health and Weight Loss
- 175.9K Food and Nutrition
- 47.4K Recipes
- 232.5K Fitness and Exercise
- 427 Sleep, Mindfulness and Overall Wellness
- 6.5K Goal: Maintaining Weight
- 8.5K Goal: Gaining Weight and Body Building
- 153K Motivation and Support
- 8K Challenges
- 1.3K Debate Club
- 96.3K Chit-Chat
- 2.5K Fun and Games
- 3.7K MyFitnessPal Information
- 24 News and Announcements
- 1.1K Feature Suggestions and Ideas
- 2.6K MyFitnessPal Tech Support Questions