We broke up because...
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He just couldn't keep up with me.0
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Tied me to the bed, put my ankles against a wooden board and smashed a hammer against them to prevent me from keeping up with her0
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he had a Kathy bates fetish0
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found out I wasn't her first0
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Had a weird condition that sometimes made him look like Kathy Bates. Freaked me out when I woke up to him like that.0
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I woke up and caught her staring at me...every morning!0
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She kept hiding my clothes0
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He didnt believe in Jesus0
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Kept screaming JESUS! too often when we got frisky. It got a little awkward.0
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she wore too many clothes (it was like unwrapping King Tut)0
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He kept running out into the street naked screaming "ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?!!?!?"0
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he objected to my WINDMILLING0
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He liked a little too much drama for my taste.0
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she tasted funny0
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Didn't like mexican food!0
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Mexican food didn't agree with her...gasssss
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She kept pulling the old Dutch Oven trick0
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He kept his underwear in the oven.0
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she wore her underwear over her clothes
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He wore my underwear...0
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He looked better in pantyhose.0
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She disappeared one day with all our furniture..I guess it was over
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She didn't have any furniture0
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The pillow fights were getting out of control0
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Was bad at pillow talk.0
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Couldn't talk..she put the pillow over my face0
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She didn't appreciate my quirky ways.0
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She had weird diet ideas
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He didn't appreciate my dedication.0
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