My MFP girlfriend just dumped me
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MaxPower6868 wrote: »She didn't say "fine". She said "leave me alone". In that case, you leave her alone; you stand by until she cools off enough to discuss what is bothering her.
The same with "fine". It either means she is too upset to talk about it (which is good because she will calm down and you can talk later) OR she doesn't think you have grasped the full extent to which you f*cked up, and anything you say will not be taken as an apology or corrective action for what you did but rather a way to appease her to make her happy at that moment. And nothing is going to piss her off more than you trying to make her feel better at that moment without dealing with the issue that got her in that state to begin with. If you don't think you did anything wrong, or at least can't see how SHE thinks you did anything wrong, you are only going to dig your hole deeper and deeper with every action and every word. Her "FINE" is a warning to you to put down your shovel and think about it before you continue.
I try and say what I mean, but yes, you captured it well. Thank you.0 -
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depends on how quick the "fine" was. its directly proportional to the ensuing shitstorm coming his way.0
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motterotter wrote: »When i saw leave me alone it means get lost i cannot deal with you
Its an evolutionary survival mechanism to keep cavewomen from losing their ish
Doesn't mean i don't want tissues for my issues but i really cannot deal with you trying to fix my problems
^^^^^^^ THIS.... always....If I say "leave me alone", I want attention.
If I say, "I'm fine", I want attention.
If I say, "I hate you", I want attention.
I always want attention. If I don't, I'll go somewhere where you can't find me. I'm not the cool off in silence type. Just give me attention.
^^^^^^^^ this... never... If I want attention I'll ask for it. I know not all women are so direct but after 9 years with an oblivious man I have learned to say exact what I need. (except in the bedroom, that one is just too sensitive!)0 -
If I say "leave me alone", I want attention.
If I say, "I'm fine", I want attention.
If I say, "I hate you", I want attention.
I always want attention. If I don't, I'll go somewhere where you can't find me. I'm not the cool off in silence type. Just give me attention.
My 8 year old acts like this.0 -
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Good luck to your friend. I wouldn't be so rude as to tell someone to leave me alone unless I'm really frustrated. For me it just means that I need some time to figure stuff out and it's not about the other person.
If they've broken up sounds like there was a communication breakdown.0 -
Did you try to reach around the back and turn it off then on again? Sometimes you have to jiggle the dongle then make sure its a tight fit...0
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If I say "leave me alone", I want attention.
If I say, "I'm fine", I want attention.
If I say, "I hate you", I want attention.
I always want attention. If I don't, I'll go somewhere where you can't find me. I'm not the cool off in silence type. Just give me attention.
And people wonder why there is a communications problem? Seriously though, if she says "leave me alone", give her some space but let her know that you are there for her whenever she needs you.0 -
IDK0
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_dracarys_ wrote: »If I say "leave me alone", I want attention.
If I say, "I'm fine", I want attention.
If I say, "I hate you", I want attention.
I always want attention. If I don't, I'll go somewhere where you can't find me. I'm not the cool off in silence type. Just give me attention.
My 8 year old acts like this.
I also like eating Doritos for dinner so I imagine we would get along famously.0 -
Seems like a MFP online relationship...
Leave me alone = overbearing. Give her her space.0 -
Derp_Diggler wrote: »If I say "leave me alone", I want attention.
If I say, "I'm fine", I want attention.
If I say, "I hate you", I want attention.
I always want attention. If I don't, I'll go somewhere where you can't find me. I'm not the cool off in silence type. Just give me attention.
And people wonder why they don't get what they want. SMDH.
Please... don't let her represent women everywhere. I have never and will never play such games with a man. Or in any relationship with SO or just friends. Cause this is complete bullsh*t.0 -
If I say "leave me alone", I want cake.
If I say, "I'm fine", I want pizza.
If I say, "I hate you", I want pizza, fries and cake.0 -
_dracarys_ wrote: »If I say "leave me alone", I want attention.
If I say, "I'm fine", I want attention.
If I say, "I hate you", I want attention.
I always want attention. If I don't, I'll go somewhere where you can't find me. I'm not the cool off in silence type. Just give me attention.
My 8 year old acts like this.
I also like eating Doritos for dinner so I imagine we would get along famously.
I bet you get spankings for bad behavior too, right?0 -
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snowflake954 wrote: »MaxPower6868 wrote: »She didn't say "fine". She said "leave me alone". In that case, you leave her alone; you stand by until she cools off enough to discuss what is bothering her.
The same with "fine". It either means she is too upset to talk about it (which is good because she will calm down and you can talk later) OR she doesn't think you have grasped the full extent to which you f*cked up, and anything you say will not be taken as an apology or corrective action for what you did but rather a way to appease her to make her happy at that moment. And nothing is going to piss her off more than you trying to make her feel better at that moment without dealing with the issue that got her in that state to begin with. If you don't think you did anything wrong, or at least can't see how SHE thinks you did anything wrong, you are only going to dig your hole deeper and deeper with every action and every word. Her "FINE" is a warning to you to put down your shovel and think about it before you continue.
THIS is the truth---and here I thought men didn't understand women.
GUYS don't understand women. MEN understand them perfectly. The hard part is knowing the difference.0 -
chelsy0587 wrote: »motterotter wrote: »When i saw leave me alone it means get lost i cannot deal with you
Its an evolutionary survival mechanism to keep cavewomen from losing their ish
Doesn't mean i don't want tissues for my issues but i really cannot deal with you trying to fix my problems
^^^^^^^ THIS.... always....If I say "leave me alone", I want attention.
If I say, "I'm fine", I want attention.
If I say, "I hate you", I want attention.
I always want attention. If I don't, I'll go somewhere where you can't find me. I'm not the cool off in silence type. Just give me attention.
^^^^^^^^ this... never... If I want attention I'll ask for it. I know not all women are so direct but after 9 years with an oblivious man I have learned to say exact what I need. (except in the bedroom, that one is just too sensitive!)
http://www.theonion.com/article/description-of-sexual-fantasy-changing-with-girlfr-2282
Not sure what I'm supposed to take from this...
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Derp_Diggler wrote: »If I say "leave me alone", I want attention.
If I say, "I'm fine", I want attention.
If I say, "I hate you", I want attention.
I always want attention. If I don't, I'll go somewhere where you can't find me. I'm not the cool off in silence type. Just give me attention.
And people wonder why they don't get what they want. SMDH.
Please... don't let her represent women everywhere. I have never and will never play such games with a man. Or in any relationship with SO or just friends. Cause this is complete bullsh*t.
Ah of course, because everyone else in the world acts completely rationally when they're angry. I'm sure you have a fantastic checklist of all of the mature and thoughtful ways you'd like to express yourself when you're fighting with someone but sometimes logic and levelheadedness go out the window when you're emotional. I hope I can one day get on your level!0 -
Not all women act the same way, we're not built the same, our hormones can be way off which throw us into a tail spin, there's so many factors that come into play. If the girl said leave me alone it's best to just leave her alone and say you'll be there for her when she's ready. If she says leave me alone and then flips out when you leave her alone, then there's a serious confidence issue on her end; ie: she just wants attention or constantly needs validation.0
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Well, no wonder people look at me like I'm crazy when I just say what I'm thinking. I've been doing it wrong!0
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Holly_Roman_Empire wrote: »_dracarys_ wrote: »If I say "leave me alone", I want attention.
If I say, "I'm fine", I want attention.
If I say, "I hate you", I want attention.
I always want attention. If I don't, I'll go somewhere where you can't find me. I'm not the cool off in silence type. Just give me attention.
My 8 year old acts like this.
I also like eating Doritos for dinner so I imagine we would get along famously.
I bet you get spankings for bad behavior too, right?
Bad behavior, good behavior.. I've already established that I only have one desired response to most situations.0 -
Derp_Diggler wrote: »If I say "leave me alone", I want attention.
If I say, "I'm fine", I want attention.
If I say, "I hate you", I want attention.
I always want attention. If I don't, I'll go somewhere where you can't find me. I'm not the cool off in silence type. Just give me attention.
And people wonder why they don't get what they want. SMDH.
Please... don't let her represent women everywhere. I have never and will never play such games with a man. Or in any relationship with SO or just friends. Cause this is complete bullsh*t.
Ah of course, because everyone else in the world acts completely rationally when they're angry. I'm sure you have a fantastic checklist of all of the mature and thoughtful ways you'd like to express yourself when you're fighting with someone but sometimes logic and levelheadedness go out the window when you're emotional. I hope I can one day get on your level!
I get this... I have been that irrationally angry... but I'm the type to just shut down and not say anything because I don't want to say something I can't take back.
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If I say "leave me alone", I want attention.
If I say, "I'm fine", I want attention.
If I say, "I hate you", I want attention.
I always want attention. If I don't, I'll go somewhere where you can't find me. I'm not the cool off in silence type. Just give me attention.
I think @ald783 deserves a lot of credit for being honest. I wonder about how many of the women who say 'yeah I call it like I see it' and 'I'll say what I mean and mean what I say' are actually a tad bit more complicated than that in reality.
I posted (in behave of my friend
) to have a conversation. So all viewpoints are welcome.
If 'girl logic' wasn't a real thing 99% of hollywood romantic comedies would make no money at all.
I appreciate everybody's input I just think @ald783 is catching more heat than necessary and no she is not the ex-girlfriend lol0 -
I am the queen of, "Leave me alone." Usually means just as I said....Leave me alone....but not forever. Come back in 10 mins and show me you care *kitten* hat!
Come on...we're not that complicated. 0 -
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Derp_Diggler wrote: »If I say "leave me alone", I want attention.
If I say, "I'm fine", I want attention.
If I say, "I hate you", I want attention.
I always want attention. If I don't, I'll go somewhere where you can't find me. I'm not the cool off in silence type. Just give me attention.
And people wonder why they don't get what they want. SMDH.
Please... don't let her represent women everywhere. I have never and will never play such games with a man. Or in any relationship with SO or just friends. Cause this is complete bullsh*t.
Ah of course, because everyone else in the world acts completely rationally when they're angry. I'm sure you have a fantastic checklist of all of the mature and thoughtful ways you'd like to express yourself when you're fighting with someone but sometimes logic and levelheadedness go out the window when you're emotional. I hope I can one day get on your level!
Well, we're all different in this aspect too. When I'm irrationally angry, I still say exactly what I'm thinking. The only difference is that I no longer filter those thoughts to keep them from being offensive and vulgar.0 -
chelsy0587 wrote: »motterotter wrote: »When i saw leave me alone it means get lost i cannot deal with you
Its an evolutionary survival mechanism to keep cavewomen from losing their ish
Doesn't mean i don't want tissues for my issues but i really cannot deal with you trying to fix my problems
^^^^^^^ THIS.... always....If I say "leave me alone", I want attention.
If I say, "I'm fine", I want attention.
If I say, "I hate you", I want attention.
I always want attention. If I don't, I'll go somewhere where you can't find me. I'm not the cool off in silence type. Just give me attention.
^^^^^^^^ this... never... If I want attention I'll ask for it. I know not all women are so direct but after 9 years with an oblivious man I have learned to say exact what I need. (except in the bedroom, that one is just too sensitive!)
no, ill tell you what i want in the bedroom too.
im too old for bad sex. LOLOLOL0
This discussion has been closed.
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