Not Fair

mis1022
mis1022 Posts: 109 Member
edited November 28 in Health and Weight Loss
So it just dawned on me why weight loss its so hard, because its not fair. I am currently working on losing about 60 pounds. So here I am eating lunch, my yummy 6 inch turkey sub and baked chips, while also in my office is a very skinny woman eating delicious smelling fried popeye chicken and biscuits. She is one of those people who can't gain weight. I know my health factor is much better than that junk but I guess I just want to complain life is not fair.
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Replies

  • HutchA12
    HutchA12 Posts: 279 Member
    Yeah she still eats less than you think she does. She is not a Unicorn. I eat huge lunches with litte to no dinner. Weight loss doesn't descriminate. This kind of thinking will just set you back. Don't focus on other people's food just your own.
  • sanfromny
    sanfromny Posts: 770 Member
    And she may be complaining because she can't gain weight. You never know how it is on the other side of the fence. Stay motivated on your journey
  • singingflutelady
    singingflutelady Posts: 8,736 Member
    Maybe she doesn't eat much overall or moves a lot
  • 42firm03
    42firm03 Posts: 115 Member
    Comparison is the thief of joy.

    One thing that I've learned here, that's has helped give me much needed perspective, is that one meal makes you neither fat nor thin and that this applies to others. The one meal that you see that person eat does not tell you that they are free of the rules that the rest of us live under. They probably just eat less when you aren't looking and for them, their cico balances to make them the weight you see them at.
  • emdeesea
    emdeesea Posts: 1,823 Member
    You know, I have gotten this from some of my friends when we go out on the weekends, about how I can down a double cheeseburger, fries, beer, and a supersized chocolate milkshake and yet maintain my weight.

    Here's the secret: I don't do it every day. On every other day, I'm counting calories almost obsessively to keep them in line. I only get to splurge like that once a week. While my friends are eating out almost every day and then complain about their weight.

    Don't judge when you don't know what she's doing at home.

  • kimny72
    kimny72 Posts: 16,011 Member
    edited January 2016
    OP, you have no idea what she eats the rest of the day. Maybe that fast food lunch is her main meal. Maybe she runs a couple of miles every morning before work. Maybe she saved up calories for it. Unless you are with someone 24/7, you have no idea what they are eating all day and how many calories they burn.

    Regardless, comparing yourself to others will always be a losing battle. If the most unfair thing that ever happens to you is that you can't eat fried chicken for lunch, that's not such a bad deal!

    And if you really want some fried chicken, plan out your meals one day soon so you can fit that in. Pre-logging your day is a great way to fit in some treats and learn to eat in a way that you can enjoy your food and maintain a healthy weight for life.
  • Sued0nim
    Sued0nim Posts: 17,456 Member
    mis1022 wrote: »
    So it just dawned on me why weight loss its so hard, because its not fair. I am currently working on losing about 60 pounds. So here I am eating lunch, my yummy 6 inch turkey sub and baked chips, while also in my office is a very skinny woman eating delicious smelling fried popeye chicken and biscuits. She is one of those people who can't gain weight. I know my health factor is much better than that junk but I guess I just want to complain life is not fair.

    Watch this

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eTr1JUvEiUU
  • Hearts_2015
    Hearts_2015 Posts: 12,032 Member
    edited January 2016
    rabbitjb wrote: »
    mis1022 wrote: »
    So it just dawned on me why weight loss its so hard, because its not fair. I am currently working on losing about 60 pounds. So here I am eating lunch, my yummy 6 inch turkey sub and baked chips, while also in my office is a very skinny woman eating delicious smelling fried popeye chicken and biscuits. She is one of those people who can't gain weight. I know my health factor is much better than that junk but I guess I just want to complain life is not fair.

    Watch this

    oh bummer, it appears BBC WorldWide has blocked it for some areas (I'm in the US)
    Appreciate you posting it though! :smiley: But now I'm curious and want to view it. lol @rabbitjb
  • malibu927
    malibu927 Posts: 17,562 Member
    You can work some Popeyes into your calories and enjoy it (though I'd prefer the sub, too). But you also don't know what she eats outside of work or how much exercise she does.
  • Francl27
    Francl27 Posts: 26,371 Member
    OP, unless you spend your life with what woman, you don't know what she eats all day. She could be having a 1000 calorie lunch, but no breakfast, and a 400 calorie dinner.
  • jemhh
    jemhh Posts: 14,261 Member
    HutchA12 wrote: »
    Yeah she still eats less than you think she does. She is not a Unicorn. I eat huge lunches with litte to no dinner. Weight loss doesn't descriminate. This kind of thinking will just set you back. Don't focus on other people's food just your own.

    Yep. Exactly.
  • Sued0nim
    Sued0nim Posts: 17,456 Member
    Not the same but does this one work?

    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=KA9AdlhB18o
  • Menix8
    Menix8 Posts: 210 Member
    ^^ I never get tired of that video. All science, no moral judgements.
  • iangelab
    iangelab Posts: 42 Member
    skinny does not equal healthy.... she can suffer the same consequences of eating like that all the time as a heavier person... stroke, heart attack and high blood pressure just to name a few. stay focused on your path, don't compare it to someone else's. do this for you
  • nordlead2005
    nordlead2005 Posts: 1,303 Member
    I eat two slices of pizza for lunch every day. It is ~800 calories. That doesn't mean I have a super fast metabolism compared to a person who eats a 800 calories 6" sub + chips.
  • Meganthedogmom
    Meganthedogmom Posts: 1,639 Member
    Take into consideration everything that is being said here.

    Also, work some fried chicken into your day so that you feel it's fair. You can have that, you know.
    I try to eat mostly "healthy", balanced meals. I feel better when I'm eating well, but sometimes I crave a burger or ice cream or whatever other junk food. So I exercise a little more and plan for it. Or I don't - I just indulge, and get back to my usual stuff the next day. It's okay to indulge sometimes. It's been very difficult for me to realize this, but it's a good thing to realize.
  • sherbear702
    sherbear702 Posts: 650 Member
    Life isn't fair, get used to it
  • callsitlikeiseeit
    callsitlikeiseeit Posts: 8,626 Member
    if you worry about what other people do, you will spend your life miserable.

    you dont know what she eats all day. or what her exercise routine is. or if she has health issues you cant see.
  • Vcorz
    Vcorz Posts: 75 Member
    Skinny doesn't last forever either, especially with bad habits...one woman I work with has gone from size zero to size 16 the past year....things even out.
  • starwhisperer6
    starwhisperer6 Posts: 402 Member
    People probably think that sort of thing about me pretty regularly. I fit it in when I want it. When I go to work a the bar on Friday night I have almost always saved enough calories to get a huge burger and fries from the guy that runs the grill... worth every hungry min the rest of the day!
  • QueenofHearts023
    QueenofHearts023 Posts: 421 Member
    I used to think my sister is one of those people that eats a ton and never gains. But then I realized that half of the week she only eats oncea day and the rest of the time she drinks black coffee. And then the other half of the week she doesn't really eat meals, but she snacks all day... so yeah. She does it without realising but it all balances out. :) looks can be deceiving.
  • ElizabethOakes2
    ElizabethOakes2 Posts: 1,038 Member
    Go put that Popeyes fried chicken and biscuit into your calorie calculator, like you'd actually eaten it, and see what it does to your totals. :) Feel better now about that turkey sandwich?
    I know it's hard when the people around you all seem to be splurging and you're sticking to your guns. See if you can work a little fried chicken in once a week or so.
  • Asher_Ethan
    Asher_Ethan Posts: 2,430 Member
    You don't know what else she's eating. When I go out with friends I plan the whole week before so I can stuff my face. I always get the "uh I wish I had your metabolism," and I have to explain I planned all week for that one meal.
  • HutchA12
    HutchA12 Posts: 279 Member
    edited January 2016
    iangelab wrote: »
    skinny does not equal healthy.... she can suffer the same consequences of eating like that all the time as a heavier person... stroke, heart attack and high blood pressure just to name a few. stay focused on your path, don't compare it to someone else's. do this for you

    Sure but there isn't anything wrong with eating food like that on occasion and by being at a healthy weight the risk factors are lower. You aren't grunted health at a normal weight but it sure helps.
    Vcorz wrote: »
    Skinny doesn't last forever either, especially with bad habits...one woman I work with has gone from size zero to size 16 the past year....things even out.

    It does if you eat right. There is no reason to get mysteriously overweight.
  • melonaulait
    melonaulait Posts: 769 Member
    Deep fried food isn't as exciting as fresh food to me, personally. Sure, I could have the occasional deep fried things sometimes, but eating that every day for lunch... It doesn't taste so special. You're better off with your fresh sandwich!
  • Larissa_NY
    Larissa_NY Posts: 495 Member
    How is that unfair?

    Look, restricting your calories now is the price you're paying for having eaten in a way that made you 60 pounds overweight in the first place. That kind of food intake doesn't come for free. You had the fun, now you're paying the credit card bill. Being mad at the people who can afford to splurge every now and then because they've always kept their spending habits under control is just going to trap you in a cycle of refusing to take responsibility for your own eating habits.
  • nordlead2005
    nordlead2005 Posts: 1,303 Member
    Larissa_NY wrote: »
    How is that unfair?

    Look, restricting your calories now is the price you're paying for having eaten in a way that made you 60 pounds overweight in the first place. That kind of food intake doesn't come for free. You had the fun, now you're paying the credit card bill. Being mad at the people who can afford to splurge every now and then because they've always kept their spending habits under control is just going to trap you in a cycle of refusing to take responsibility for your own eating habits.

    That too. 5 years of poor eating and it took an aggressive payback of 7 months of eating right for me to get back to college weight.

    Right now its more like I'm pre-paying as I'm trying to cut that last little bit of fat before I bulk.
  • Maxematics
    Maxematics Posts: 2,287 Member
    edited January 2016
    Larissa_NY wrote: »
    How is that unfair?

    Look, restricting your calories now is the price you're paying for having eaten in a way that made you 60 pounds overweight in the first place. That kind of food intake doesn't come for free. You had the fun, now you're paying the credit card bill. Being mad at the people who can afford to splurge every now and then because they've always kept their spending habits under control is just going to trap you in a cycle of refusing to take responsibility for your own eating habits.

    Agreed. OP reminds me of my coworker who makes passive comments on what I eat. When there is cake and I say it looks good "Yeah, but you would NEVER eat that!" then she'll appear shocked when I have a piece as if she expects me to balloon up right there. I'm 114 pounds but I love to eat. I can eat big often because I only have time to eat twice a day. I'm very active and I exercise 5 to 6 days per week as well. I'd say life is pretty fair regarding people who put in the physical work benefitting from enjoying big meals when they want to eat them.
  • janjunie
    janjunie Posts: 1,200 Member
    mis1022 wrote: »
    So it just dawned on me why weight loss its so hard, because its not fair. I am currently working on losing about 60 pounds. So here I am eating lunch, my yummy 6 inch turkey sub and baked chips, while also in my office is a very skinny woman eating delicious smelling fried popeye chicken and biscuits. She is one of those people who can't gain weight. I know my health factor is much better than that junk but I guess I just want to complain life is not fair.

    ugh, this annoys me to no end. Take responsibility for yourself and don't compare yourself to other people. So this "very skinny woman" in your office is eating fried food for lunch, so what. She may have better portion control than you do throughout the day or is very active. I find this type of judgement an excuse and combined with a woe is me attitude will just lead to your failure. Yes life is not fair, I don't have millions of dollars...boo hoo life is unfair. No one is going to hand me lots of $$$$, I have to work hard for it, just like you (generally speaking) do with weight loss.
  • yayamom3
    yayamom3 Posts: 939 Member
    Last night at the gym, I saw a woman I know whom I have always assumed to be one of those people who are just naturally thin. I was both surprised and happy to know that she has to work to look as good as she does. I don't think we have any idea what goes on in people's lives other than the short amount of time we are in contact with them.
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