Self Sabotage
Tattoos_and_Tea
Posts: 529 Member
Hey, can anyone give me some advice on how to stop self sabotaging? When I'm alone I keep binging on unhealthy foods, ill even purposely go out to buy it! My weight is rocketing but I can't get myself out of this way of thinking. How can I stop myself?
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Replies
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I had the same problem recently and now my clothes don't fit right and I'm so unhappy with the way I look. Have you gotten on the scale to see your weight at all? Sometimes that's a scary thing but it wakes you up. Also I know this sounds funny but I had a party to go to and I went to the store to buy something to wear and first of all nothing looked good but also you really se yourself in those dressing room mirrors and that might help motivate you to stop.
Also I read something recently that just clicked for me. Think about what the food you are about to eat is going to do to your body. It's certainly not going to make you any thinner and chances are its processed food you're eating for comfort because it makes you feel good while you are eating it. Think of the after effects and how it makes you feel emotionally after you binge. I was allowing myself to eat whatever I wanted. If you just allow it to happen it will. You can stop but you have to really want to. The more you binge the more your body craves comfort food. Try eating healthy for 3 days and see how much better you start to feel. What do you have to lose? Don't make the mistake of letting yourself get too hungry by skipping meals either. I think if you have a problem with binging it can be a trigger to get really hungry. Try first just cutting out processed food and you will feel a difference in the way you feel when you wake up in the morning.
Any questions with nutrition I can help. Add me as a friend. Hope you have a good day.1 -
Counselling. You have to learn why. What emotions are you stuffing down. What is the trigger. What part of your life feels out of control so that you are eating to feel in control. i think you have to understand that before you can really win at weight loss.0
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Hey, thanks for your reply. Ideally I would like to lose 3 stone. I have stepped on the scales and seen my weight but it just upsets me so I wait until the OH has gone to work then I binge out. I hate the way I look with no clothes on and I hate the number on the scales. I would have thought that would be enough to kick start me but its going the opposite. I'm on day two of healthy eating so will see how it goes I guess.0
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I really don't believe there is anything Allen, I'm perfectly happy with my life apart from the way I look!0
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sazzle1983 wrote: »I really don't believe there is anything Allen, I'm perfectly happy with my life apart from the way I look!
Good. That's frequently not the case.
If you have recently cut your calories way back you may have gone too far. I started by easing into things. After the counselling that is. At first all I focused on was logging at maintenance. Pre logging got me thinking about the choice I was making and I started making better choices. Then I reset the calorie goal for.5 pound per week loss. A few more months and I went to one pound per week. After a year or so I went to one and a half pound per week.
Now I was more than 200 pounds overweight. I realized that was going to take time and a complete change in lifestyle. Its been two years and I am more than half way there.
But I had to first understand why and then I learned different skills to cope with those emotions rather than eating.
It would still be a good idea to write down how you are feeling when you are craving and think about if there's a trigger.0 -
sazzle1983 wrote: »I really don't believe there is anything Allen, I'm perfectly happy with my life apart from the way I look!
Could be boredom related then? You mentioned waiting until your partner has gone to work, are you a SAHM? It might help for you to get more structure into your day so you have less time to binge, and find things that are motivating to distract you. It's also very much a matter of habit forming- I gained some weight after I finished uni and was unemployed for a few months but I found that after a week of sticking to a meal schedule and pre-logging my food I was no longer getting the urge to eat mindlessly. Your body and mind needs to get used to not being full all the time. Something I found really helpful was that I stopped weighing myself and just tracked my ability to stick to my calorie goal. I used a reward chart with stickers for each day I was able to stay in my goal, and found myself motivated by each consecutive day I stuck to it0 -
Plan what you are going to eat the day before. Make sure you get enough daily calories so you do not go hungry and binge.
Ex: Go to the store and buy plenty of stuff to make a green salad to eat for lunches. And eat it before you are actually hungry. Keep fruits and veggies around. A go to lunch for me is also a lean chicken breast with a side of broccoli. Please never go hungry. A glass of milk can often make a mini-meal.0 -
I've sabotaged my healthy eating for the last 2 days, partly due to waiting to long for my evening meal, and mainly feeling fed up and eating through my emotions. I've broke the habit before it became a habit I couldn't break. I want this more than a nutrigrain bar. As of today, I'm back to being sensible0
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I started by not buying any unhealthy food into my house. Sometimes I'm craving them so bad but I only have healthy food in my fridge so I have no choice but eating them or just drink water.
Then when I go out I felt like I did well at home why would I break it.
I am not really that good at self control but at least this help me a bit.0 -
when you decide to change, you will.0
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callsitlikeiseeit wrote: »when you decide to change, you will.
That was a powerful answer. Almost sounds like someone else wants you to get thin. You have to do it for yourself.0 -
Thank you all so much0
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I've successfully used cognitive behavioral techniques to manage sabotaging thoughts around alcohol and food:
This book on Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for overeating was available in my library system, so maybe yours too.
The Beck Diet Solution: Train Your Brain to Think Like a Thin Person
Can thinking and eating like a thin person be learned, similar to learning to drive or use a computer? Beck (Cognitive Therapy for Challenging Problems) contends so, based on decades of work with patients who have lost pounds and maintained weight through Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). Beck's six-week program adapts CBT, a therapeutic system developed by Beck's father, Aaron, in the 1960s, to specific challenges faced by yo-yo dieters, including negative thinking, bargaining, emotional eating, bingeing, and eating out. Beck counsels readers day-by-day, introducing new elements (creating advantage response cards, choosing a diet, enlisting a diet coach, making a weight-loss graph) progressively and offering tools to help readers stay focused (writing exercises, to-do lists, ways to counter negative thoughts). There are no eating plans, calorie counts, recipes or exercises; according to Beck, any healthy diet will work if readers learn to think differently about eating and food. Beck's book is like an extended therapy session with a diet coach. (Apr.)0 -
sazzle1983 wrote: »Hey, thanks for your reply. Ideally I would like to lose 3 stone. I have stepped on the scales and seen my weight but it just upsets me so I wait until the OH has gone to work then I binge out. I hate the way I look with no clothes on and I hate the number on the scales. I would have thought that would be enough to kick start me but its going the opposite. I'm on day two of healthy eating so will see how it goes I guess.
Since you only have 42 pounds to lose, do set your weekly weight loss goal to no more than 1 pound per week. You could likely feel deprived on a greater calorie deficit, which can also lead to binging and giving up.0 -
I used to do the same thing, until I wanted my pants to fit MORE than I wanted to stuff my face.0
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You can still eat your favorite foods - but it is imperative to watch your portions. Use a food scale.
If you want to gorge on cookies, you're going to have to weigh and record all of them. And see the number of calories consumed. The truth will set you free, but you've got to face it first.
And if cookies are too tempting for you right now, keep them out of the house until you can master more control around them. Beware harsh restrictions, however. You've got to find a sensible way of eating that's going to carry you through the long haul.
I agree with checking to make sure your calorie goal isn't too aggressive.0 -
Yeah I'm finding I struggle on 1200 x0
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sazzle1983 wrote: »Yeah I'm finding I struggle on 1200 x
You can always give yourself more calories and lose at a slightly slower rate. Which gets my vote every time.
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I definitely agree with many of the above suggestions, certainly regarding counselling and checking that you haven't set your calories too low. Also to ensure that what you are eating is nutritious and satisfying. It's all very well staying within calories but if the food isn't nutritious and filling you are more likely to binge.
What are you thinking when you get ready to go out and purposely buy, as you call them, unhealthy foods? What are you doing when you decide you have to have that particular food stuff? Are you a stay at home mum and if so is your child at home with you or have they started school recently? Can you distract yourself from the cravings?
I'm sorry, so many questions! There is definitely something going on somewhere though and you've already made positive first steps - you have awareness and you're asking for help!
I hope that you find a solution0 -
vivmom2014 wrote: »sazzle1983 wrote: »Yeah I'm finding I struggle on 1200 x
You can always give yourself more calories and lose at a slightly slower rate. Which gets my vote every time.
Agreed! I tried 1200 once and found it to be so restrictive I couldnt maintain it without feeling like crap, so I bumped myself up to 1450 and was able to stick with that and meet my goal. Being able to stick with it might be worth taking a bit longer to meet those goals0 -
I have just completed 20 days binge free. I am avoiding process food and workout. I know that when I open chips I will eat the whole bag so I have made my mind up that is not an option. It is super hard at first but after a few days you feel so much better you don't want to ruin it by eating like crap. I eat 1500-1700 cals not starving at all and lost weight three weeks in a row and I have a sedentary job. You don't have to only eat 1200 you can have more if it healthy and nutritious. I still have my fav snack at night Air Popped popcorn (a big bowl and I mean big) with becel light margine and coconut sugar and a dash of salt. So I know I get to enjoy things like that and peanut butter love that. I also found that for me its a bored on the couch thing. I would do great all week then the weekend would come and I was bored stuffing my face so all that hard work was thrown out the window. Now I have been trying to stay busy. I use to workout then watch tv and do a few things. Now I watch a show if I feel the need to eat and am not actually hungry I get up and do something, or drink water. Also I try to eat the same way and times I would during the week. Not sure if this will help you but I feel your struggle. I have been on this journey for 9 years went from 186 to 152 ish I lingered at 170 and 160 for a bit. Hang in there0
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A lot of my sabotage came from mindless and careless eating. I gave myself a 20g of protein rule: anytime I eat something, I have to first include 20g of protein. It fills you up and sometimes it helps. Good luck!0
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vivmom2014 wrote: »You can still eat your favorite foods - but it is imperative to watch your portions. Use a food scale.
If you want to gorge on cookies, you're going to have to weigh and record all of them. And see the number of calories consumed. The truth will set you free, but you've got to face it first.
And if cookies are too tempting for you right now, keep them out of the house until you can master more control around them. Beware harsh restrictions, however. You've got to find a sensible way of eating that's going to carry you through the long haul.
I agree with checking to make sure your calorie goal isn't too aggressive.
BEST ANSWER HERE ^^^
We pretty much all want MORE. So you have to remind yourself you can have more tomorrow.
I had the same problem during the 3 years it took to lose 85 pounds. Back then I stepped on the scale every morning and recorded it in a notebook. Every time I binged on sweets, it knocked me back about 2-3 weeks of progress. Once I got tired of that and wanted to see progress, it did not stop me from wanting the comfort of food - but I no longer wanted to be slave to the consequences of it.
You have to decide.
You have to face the food values, like vivmom2014 said
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In my opinion you should simplify your diet. Change your goal to lose .5 or 1 pounds a week, and plan your treats in the day before and pre-log it. Then build the rest of your day around that. This takes the negative emotions away and you will slowly decide to maybe have less of a treat or eat better during the day....or to exercise to get that treat. I will do this wine typically. The key is eating less calories than you burn so don't get caught up in the "right" foods and just start limiting your calories.0
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Boredom? I do the same when I'm sitting around. Get active. Hard to binge while jogging, cleaning, etc.
Don't do anything dramatic, but implement small changes. Snack on carrots & hummus or other low cal high filling foods. Drink a glass of water ~30 mins prior to meals. Set up your logging diary in a manner that suits your lifestyle. Keep a log of when you feel hungry and investigate whether this is actual hunger or boredom.
Awareness is key and the heart and soul of all this logging.
Break a leg!0 -
sazzle1983 wrote: »Yeah I'm finding I struggle on 1200 x
I wouldn't be fit for civilized company on 1200.0 -
Sometimes keeping a journal helps. When you start to feel like you want to binge, write down what you are feeling, what you are doing etc. It can really help you identify your triggers. Try to find activities that hold your interest. I like to read, go for a walk, color, watch a movie. You are the only one who can decide to change. Good luck!0
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Forget about the scale for a while. Commit to accurately logging everything you eat. Even the binges. Sometimes I find that logging my foods and putting in a special container for that day helps me stay on track. It sounds like boredom or mindless eating. As others have said, get busier, find a hobby, take your child out for walks, anything to keep you from being bored. Try slicing an apple or cucumber and slowing eating them, making them last much longer than usual. You can do this! Weigh each item you choose to eat and log it. When you go over, don't kick yourself, just STOP EATING. I would set a calorie goal between 1300-1500 a day and see if that helps alleviate the hungries.
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Yeah I'm a part time SATM as I only work two days and have my 2 year old the rest of the time. I just need to learn discipline. I have got into the mind set of the fact my OH loves me just the way I am, he tells me that every day, so kinda use it as an excuse I guess. Need to kick my own *kitten* into shape.0
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I do stuff every day with my little boy, don't just sit about. He can't judge me or tell me off for eating crap.....yet.....!0
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