Being shocked by your "thin" self

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  • senecarr
    senecarr Posts: 5,377 Member
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    I've been overweight for as long as I can remember, literally. Probably obese since at least 8. I feel I have no sense of what my body is supposed to be andb I'm still 15 lb or so from my goal, 10 lb from normal BMI. I feel even odder having above average muscles and having rather gynoid fat for a man.
    Unlike the other comments in this thread, I wish more of my boobs were gone by now. Unfortunately for my vanity, my body seems to prefer doing the healthier thing of removing android fat from the belly.
  • Orphia
    Orphia Posts: 7,097 Member
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    senecarr wrote: »
    I've been overweight for as long as I can remember, literally. Probably obese since at least 8. I feel I have no sense of what my body is supposed to be andb I'm still 15 lb or so from my goal, 10 lb from normal BMI. I feel even odder having above average muscles and having rather gynoid fat for a man.
    Unlike the other comments in this thread, I wish more of my boobs were gone by now. Unfortunately for my vanity, my body seems to prefer doing the healthier thing of removing android fat from the belly.

    It's about time I gave you kudos. Amazing job, @senecarr , to have reversed a lifelong trend. And I have full confidence you will maintain a healthy weight. You rock.
  • pineygirl
    pineygirl Posts: 322 Member
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    I'm right around my goal, 110lbs at 5'1. I have always been somewhat thin so being this weight isn't shocking in and of itself.

    I recently lost about 20lbs of extra baby weight that I let hang around for over a year. What was shocking to me was being overweight. At my highest I was 135lbs, only slightly overweight ....some time over last summer. It was hard for me to get dressed and not look sloppy. Going to the beach I had to wear a maternity bathing suit because nothing else I had fit me. I also had large breasts (34F) so I looked somewhat bigger than I was. Really I was only wearing size 8 or 10 in clothes...but I used to be a 0 or 2.

    So I finally lost the weight. Now I'm sort of shocked at how thin I look at 110lbs. And what's the most shocking is the loss of my boobs. After nursing for almost 18 months and losing 20lbs..
    They are gone....well not really....but they haven't been this small since probably 7th grade. From a 34F to a 32D. I can wear clothes I couldn't before (like button down shirts). And I don't need XL bikini tops....I might get away with a M or even S.
  • Dreysander
    Dreysander Posts: 294 Member
    edited January 2016
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    I'm hovering around my goal now, which is 120-125 lbs at 5'4 (right now I'm 124). This is down from a max weight of 235 lbs. I have never ever been this weight as an adult, I probably haven't been this weight since I was 10 or 11 years old.

    I have moments where I catch my reflection and think oh man, I'm too thin. I also have moments where I look at that damned abdominal flab that I STILL have and want to keep losing until it's as flat as possible.

    My boobs are also gone, I was a 38 DD which went up when I was nursing my 3 kids. Now I'm down to a 34 C but it's only a C because of all the extra skin. I actually LOVE having smaller breasts, I always hated them when they were larger.
  • soulofgrace
    soulofgrace Posts: 175 Member
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    Ugh. I hate the thought of "fragile." It makes me kind of sick. I don't understand the attraction. I am only 5'6", I have new bony protrusions, but I will never look or be fragile. In my life I could never have been anything but tough to get through the bull5hit. Through and through I own the fact that I am a strong, tough woman. My husband wouldn't have me any other way.

    And, @senecarr you're bad a55! Kudos to you!
  • Dreysander
    Dreysander Posts: 294 Member
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    Different strokes. I like feeling tiny and "fragile", but not because I feel like it's feminine. I like looking androgynous and boyish. The closer I get to being straight up and down, the more I like my body.
  • Whitezombiegirl
    Whitezombiegirl Posts: 1,042 Member
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    I love being tiny and fragile. Its part of that pale and intetesting goth girl thing that im really drawn .
  • SingRunTing
    SingRunTing Posts: 2,604 Member
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    I'm not at goal yet (getting close). Sometimes I'm shocked when I look in the mirror. I'm shocked at how thin I am. And then sometimes I look in the mirror and still see how far I have to go. Sometimes I don't feel like I look any different than before, which I know isn't true (-66lbs, 213 to 147 on a 5'3" frame is very noticeable).

    Our brains are weird. That's all there is to it.
  • callsitlikeiseeit
    callsitlikeiseeit Posts: 8,627 Member
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    elaineamj wrote: »
    QueenofHearts023 wrote: »

    Ah well, it has its advantages and disadvantages. One particular advantage you have over me is you don't have to ask someone in the store to get you something from the top shelf EVERY TIME you go there... :joy:

    ROFL!! At only 5ft, I completely empathize! There have been days when I have been frustrated enough to literally climb up grocery store shelves. Talk about embarrassing!

    i do that all the time only now i dont worry about tipping the shelf over ;) LOLOLOLOL
  • ZeroTX
    ZeroTX Posts: 179 Member
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    I'm nowhere near goal, yet, but even with my current level of weight loss, I sometimes am surprised at how different an "overweight" person is treated from an "obese" person. Technically, by weight/body fat I'm still "obese," but before I was "that guy.... 365lbs wasn't so long ago, in fact (MFP doesn't even know about that weight!), so 6ft tall and 270-something pounds is downright svelte by comparison I suppose. I can already buy pants in many stores and within another 20lbs, I can probably buy pants at nearly any standard store (something I've not been able to do since before the age of 13).

    Still, when I look at myself in the mirror, I see a fat guy and it sometimes doesn't "feel" to me that I've lost weight (until I put on pants I used to wear and they fit like clown pants).

    But, even at "fat but not as obese" it's nice not to worry about fitting into (most) seats, even the student desks at the school where I teach. Now it's just an issue of whether I will fit AND be comfortable in a seat. Some of that (such as airplane economy seats, most stadium seats) will never get fixed, because I'm over 6' tall and the leg room in planes is made for a max of 5'5" individuals (I won't even go into how this is discriminatory!) and stadium seating is made for max cram ratio (I noticed that even the most expensive "courtside seats" at the NBA games are in tiny, crammed-together chairs with no arm rests... how horrible.)

    I'm enjoying reading this thread.
  • ZeroTX
    ZeroTX Posts: 179 Member
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    HappyCampr1 wrote: »
    It took me about a year of maintenance before I was really ok with my weight. I actually stopped losing at five pounds overweight (I'd been second category obese, so still a huge loss for me). I stopped losing because I felt too tiny and I hadn't realized how much of my own self-image was caught up in feeling "sturdy". I like that feeling of sturdiness and being tiny makes me feel what I call insubstantial.

    I totally understand what you mean. Growing up obese, I always at least had "well, I'm a BIG guy" going for me... I mean, nobody ever really tried to fight me (a 300lb 9th grader is formidable, even if not muscular)... I'm still 6'+ in height, but even at my current weight (about 78lbs until I reach goal!), parts of me feel "skinny." My abdomen has too much fat, but skin hangs from my arm, my wrists and fingers are so small that my jewelry is loose. It turns out, other than being slightly above average in height, I'm not really a "big" guy frame-wise. That's kind-of a let down, haha.
  • samgamgee
    samgamgee Posts: 398 Member
    edited January 2016
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    I'm a bit more than half way through my 40 lb weight loss at 138 (as a small framed 5'4" the extra weight is very noticable, especially on my face) and in the last week or so I've had a few double takes in the mirror: "oh, THAT'S what I used to look like before the weight gain, now I remember!" It's really very odd, it's like looking through a time portal as my face shape re-emerges.
  • WendyLaubach
    WendyLaubach Posts: 518 Member
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    As soon as I hit puberty I started carrying a little extra weight, maybe 10-15 lbs. (That seems like NOTHING now, but it was a big deal then.) In my 20s I dropped to about 115 or 120, which I think was a good weight for my 5'5" frame. I didn't feel skinny then, and I don't think I look skinny in pictures from that period, though I certainly can remember having a flat stomach and noticeable hip bones. It was nice. After that I gained for decades. If I can get back to 120, I don't expect to feel skinny or weird. When I look at very fit, trim women, as long as they have good muscle tone, they don't look skinny to me, they look great. And I'll be very happy to get back to being rather flat-chested. As a friend said, "I used to be a 34B, but now I'm a 44 long." There's nothing happy about big boobs when you're fat and old.

    This was a fascinating thread. I lie in bed sometimes feeling for my hipbones, too! They're still in there, trying to emerge! Muscles are starting to emerge, too. Our body images are very odd. I've been having dreams lately about getting thinner--a sure sign my brain is struggling with this business.
  • erinmlav
    erinmlav Posts: 2 Member
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    QueenofHearts023 wrote: »
    Yes I know the feeling. Although, I also like the feeling of being "fragile"? Bones sticking out makes me feel that way, even though I'm by no means weak.

    Not that I need my bones to make me look that way, I'm really small framed.

    On one side, I like being "fragile"/boney/thin/small (it makes me feel like a fairy - don't judge the geek!) and on the other side I miss my boobies, sitting down comfortably and so on. Love-hate relationship. :wink: but I'd rather be healthy and confident in my body. I was miserable when I was bigger.

    I'm the opposite.(I love the imagery of you being a fairy or fairy like) I struggle with my self image that having less mass doesn't mean that I am fragile, tiny or small aka powerless. My smaller body is more physically powerful than my previous body. In my family of origin my mother was very petite and I equated it with powerlessness. I've been doing lots of self talk about how strong/powerful my body is and that less mass doesn't mean that I'm small. I hope this makes sense.

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