tiny rant :)
jpeterburs88
Posts: 201 Member
Lately I have been hanging out with a lot of people I haven't seen in a long time (mostly due to our busy schedules). We have been going out a lot (don't worry, I eat before or I eat light!) and everyone keeps saying that they are "so proud of me" for losing so much weight.
Don't get me wrong-- loving the compliments.
However, when they ask how I did it and what "diet" I am on it gets frustrating. I am not, nor will I ever be, on a diet. I do not diet. I hate the word diet. The second that I tell myself that I am going on a diet I want cake. When I try to explain that all I have been doing is staying around 1200 calories a day they look at me and say "so your not eating?" Duh, I am eating... I eat A LOT. From there they go on and on about how they wish they could lose weight and they really want to start "dieting" (theres that horrible word again) so I try to give some advice.
I tell them if they are interested in seeing the same results all they have to do is count calories and join MFP. "Oh no, I could never do that... its too tedious... its too much work to count calories." WELL WHAT DO YOU THINK, WEIGHT LOSS IS? EASY?? Any way you try to lose weight is going to be hard (or harmful depending on which route you take). Why not make it a lifelong change?
Sorry, I am sure I used to be the same way before being introduced to MFP, but it just aggravates me that people can sit around eating fried food from the bar and complain to me that counting calories and losing weight is too hard.
Ok, guy- put the hot wing down, thats your first step.
If counting calories is not for you, I get it- it is time consuming (although I would rather spend my time on MFP than working... lol) But if you want to lose weight, watch what you put in your mouth and take a walk. Sure, you are going to miss those late night taco bell runs (and then the next morning taco bell "runs") and eating meals for two in one sitting. But the outcome is SO MUCH better than those 20 seconds it takes you to wolf down 408495 calories.
Ok-- I feel a little better. At least I know that I can log on here and read what some sane people have to say for a change.
Don't get me wrong-- loving the compliments.
However, when they ask how I did it and what "diet" I am on it gets frustrating. I am not, nor will I ever be, on a diet. I do not diet. I hate the word diet. The second that I tell myself that I am going on a diet I want cake. When I try to explain that all I have been doing is staying around 1200 calories a day they look at me and say "so your not eating?" Duh, I am eating... I eat A LOT. From there they go on and on about how they wish they could lose weight and they really want to start "dieting" (theres that horrible word again) so I try to give some advice.
I tell them if they are interested in seeing the same results all they have to do is count calories and join MFP. "Oh no, I could never do that... its too tedious... its too much work to count calories." WELL WHAT DO YOU THINK, WEIGHT LOSS IS? EASY?? Any way you try to lose weight is going to be hard (or harmful depending on which route you take). Why not make it a lifelong change?
Sorry, I am sure I used to be the same way before being introduced to MFP, but it just aggravates me that people can sit around eating fried food from the bar and complain to me that counting calories and losing weight is too hard.
Ok, guy- put the hot wing down, thats your first step.
If counting calories is not for you, I get it- it is time consuming (although I would rather spend my time on MFP than working... lol) But if you want to lose weight, watch what you put in your mouth and take a walk. Sure, you are going to miss those late night taco bell runs (and then the next morning taco bell "runs") and eating meals for two in one sitting. But the outcome is SO MUCH better than those 20 seconds it takes you to wolf down 408495 calories.
Ok-- I feel a little better. At least I know that I can log on here and read what some sane people have to say for a change.
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Replies
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When people ask me, I say I eat a lot of fruits and vegetables and lean meats. I don't eat anything fried, and I very rarely eat bread or starchy foods.
I've given them a lesson without offering a way to give an excuse.0 -
When people ask me, I say I eat a lot of fruits and vegetables and lean meats. I don't eat anything fried, and I very rarely eat bread or starchy foods.
I've given them a lesson without offering a way to give an excuse.
I've tried that. People ALWAYS find excuses. I know I tried... I think you have to realize that you want a change yourself before anything can happen- and you have to want it bad enough.0 -
"Like" :flowerforyou:0
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* [LIKE] *0
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i tell them no salt, no sugar, only sugar i intake is from fruit usually.
meh strangly enough it doesn't bother me anymore after 44lbs lost if they want to ask i tell them i walk at least 30 minutes every day and i do MFP. if they choose to come here they do if not well they can watch me lose!0 -
I love it - people seem to want to hear that the weight magically disappeared - its like 'news flash' it doesn't :happy:0
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Hahaha! I know how you feel. I even feel strange calling MFP my 'diet site' because it's about lifestyle not 'diets'. When people ask me how I did it, I usually just say, "There's an app for that," and only get more specific if they ask.
On the other hand, now when I see someone who is kind of tubby, I want to hand them a card with www.myfitnesspal.com on it.
I told a friend who constantly complains about her weight about MFP and she said it was boring to enter everything. Oh well.0 -
A diet is really just what you eat so the word itself isn't intrinsically evil though obviously it brings a lot of emotional baggage with it for you. The fact is that you are eating at a deficit and that is not something you will do for the rest of your life but rather until you reach a healthy maintainable weight.
Having said that, yeah it's hard and it's not just about eating less and exercising more for many of us it's also about facing buried emotional issues, learning to cope with setbacks and adversities, taking control and responsibility for our own choices and learning to value ourselves which can be a really difficult thing to do.
Because it's so much more than just putting down the chicken wing, it's not something that you can push on another person or should undertake until you're emotionally ready because the inevitable failure will leave you heavier and more full of self-loathing on the other side.
So when people ask me how I did it or say that they wish they could do it too I reply that when they're ready I'll be thrilled to offer whatever advice or support I can.0 -
The amount of times I have heard "do you eat" since I have lost weight makes me want to hold up a grocery store! Yes I eat,I eat an acceptable amount as per my BMR!! The difference is I make better choices!
The fact that some poeple out their still believe in "diets" drives me crazy. There is no magic to weight loss,it is hard sweaty work!0 -
I love it - people seem to want to hear that the weight magically disappeared - its like 'news flash' it doesn't :happy:
Eat less and exercise more. Why isn't there a pill for that!0 -
I totally agree with you! It does get a little annoying but then they haven't got addicted lol! I am on here all the time and I love it!!!! My pals are the best and they keep my going!!!
My mantra is *giving up something now for something even better in the FUTURE is not a sacrafice....it's an INVESTMENT!!!!!* I cap. to remind myself *Future Investment* it doesn't happen overnight.
Have a wonderful day!0 -
It is frustrating. I've gone on tons of "diets" & lost 10-15 lbs...then gained back 20! I'm not on a diet this time either. It's a change in who I am & how I live my life. My kids are seeing it & have started even getting in the floor to exercise with mommy (which is a challenge all its own-not to step on them!). I commend you for realizing that they're excuses & knowing that you're going to stick to it & change who you are to better yourself! (And now I had better get back to work, as I also prefer MFP to working!)0
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Well-stated!! Really, when I think about it, MFP makes calorie counting and such SO MUCH EASIER anyway!! I look forwarding to popping on here and playing the calorie game!! Otherwise, yes, it sucks and is time- and mind-consuming...I agree that doing it this way leads toward a lifestyle change, not just a diet. My hubby and I compare our days on here - it has brought great awareness to even HIM (who doesn't have a weight problem to begin with!!).0
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- Well there is always liposuction then.- "Oh no, I could never do that... its too tedious... its too much work to count calories."
That's what I say. I don't really have the patience, and to be completely honest, "the change must start from within" (classic but true )... So unless they are really motivated with their guts, and every fiber of their body wants to lose weight, they are going to fail anyway.
Everyone wants everything instantaneously these days (cf. all the ridiculous ads: "get abs in a week", "lose 80pounds in a week!", etc.).0 -
I totally agree with you! It does get a little annoying but then they haven't got addicted lol! I am on here all the time and I love it!!!! My pals are the best and they keep my going!!!
My mantra is *giving up something now for something even better in the FUTURE is not a sacrafice....it's an INVESTMENT!!!!!* I cap. to remind myself *Future Investment* it doesn't happen overnight.
Have a wonderful day!
I LOVE that line of thought!!0 -
I have the same basic problem. I have gotten to the point that my response is are you willing to make lifestyle changes or do you just want a quick fix? That normally makes them start thinking but few are willing to give up their current habits.. what I love more than anything is when they see me ordering something healthy and they recommended I splurge and take a day off my diet... ummm not on a "diet" so not a possibility. ....to quote my baby bro ( 6' 5" 350lbs and losing) everyone is on a diet your diet is what you eat everyday, some of us are just better at it than others 0
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I tell people i rubbed a lamp and a Jeanie popped out and I got a wish to be skinny again. You should see their faces. PRICELESS. I am so sick of the excuses I don't even want to talk to people about it or give advice. I have busted my *kitten* and its not easy. People really think it just disappears with no work?0
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I think people just want to hear that there is a magic quick fix is all. Now if it were me, i would lie and tell them that i eat a clove of raw garlic before and after each meal. Or that once a day i take a bath in a tub filled with ice. or eat a habenero pepper. or drink some concoction made of peanut butter and tabasco sauce and pickle juice. Thats what they get for wanting an easy solution
Maybe i am a bad friend, haha.
Don't let them drive ya crazy though - they just haven't been enlightened to the MFP life yet
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When people ask what diet you are on I think they are looking for the magic. They hope you lost weight on the pizza and beer diet. They'd find time to write that down. They are disappointed to learn there is discipline involved and lose interest.
I have people tell me all the time they want to learn Tai Chi, but when I say how about Tuesday at 5 they always have an excuse. They want to learn, (or lose weight), but not if it involves a time investment.0 -
Now if it were me, i would lie and tell them that i eat a clove of raw garlic before and after each meal. Or that once a day i take a bath in a tub filled with ice. or eat a habenero pepper. or drink some concoction made of peanut butter and tabasco sauce and pickle juice. Thats what they get for wanting an easy solution
That's hilarious =D
I will try the garlic one next time...0 -
However, when they ask how I did it and what "diet" I am on it gets frustrating. I am not, nor will I ever be, on a diet. I do not diet. I hate the word diet.
THIS :flowerforyou:
I agree 100% When I first met my Personal Trainer she told me "You are not on a diet, all we are doing is changing the way you think about food, now and for the rest of your life"
I can see your friends point regarding the calorie counting though, I don't actually measure and count what I eat on a permanent basis, I use it as a tool to monitor myself now and again and if I think I am straying from my good habits, I start recording absolutely everything for a couple of weeks and that gets me back into it very quickly - I prefer to refuse that piece of chocolate if I know I'd have to record it in my diary
Perhaps when your friends tell you its tedious to count calories, ask them to try it for one week only - this will give them an idea of where they are and might shock them into action.0 -
I chuckled a bit when I read your rant, because 6 months ago, I might have been your questioner. I would also ask those folks that I saw have success how they did it and the amazing thing is they all said the same thing, in one form or the other. Which is eat less, move more and be diciplined. The fact is prior to January of this year, I did have the will power to do that.:ohwell:
Now, 6 months later and 40 lbs down, I am made I myself for waiting this long to take charge of my health and make those changes. So I guess when I get that question now, and the same response about how hard it is, I just tell them they would be amazed at what they can do if they try. Congrats to you!!:drinker:0 -
I love this thread and the replies so far!
When I told my boss I was starting on MFP and eating 1200 calories and had lost 6lbs she was like "yeah and that's because you're not eating enough". However months later, I've lost 42 lbs, still have the energy to exercise, work, look after my little boy and do normal day to day things, I'm not dying and I am eating enough!!
I have had funny judgemental looks from people when I am eating things like ice cream/chocolate which I still do, people telling me to have a day off, splurge out etc. It's a funny world this weight loss world!!0 -
Been there and done that. Getting asked "Whats your secret?" is getting really really old and even more annoying when they get pissed off that I tell them that there is no secret. Just eat better and move more. Calories in / Calories out.
The general reply I get is a long list of excuses of why they can't do it.
Pretty much everybody at work thinks i'm anorexic because "only" eat a serving of wheat thins, a piece of fruit and a yogurt cup for lunch. Needless to say these people have a pretty obscured idea of what anorexia is.
I just stopped ordering smaller uniforms so that they wouldn't notice that i'm losing weight as much (even though my work clothes hang off of me terribly now) so that they would stop asking.
It actually kind of makes me nervous about becoming a personal trainer. How many people am I going to run into are going to think that having a personal trainer is the magic they need to lose their weight? How many of them are not going to realize that they still have to put in the effort to do the work and that I can't do it for them?0 -
I've only lost 7 lbs and people are just now starting to notice, but when they ask I just say "I made a lifestyle change with my eating habits" and then tell them about MFP. I don't say "I'm eating 1200 calories". Instead I say, "I put in my weight, height, and my level of activity and MFP figured out FOR me how many calories I should be eatin per day if I want to lose weight. It already figures out my deficit so the more I log my exercise, the more calories it adds to my day to eat". Several friends have already joined. I don't use the word "diet" either. It's all about a lifestyle change with the help of MFP. I also speak alot about the database and how quick and simple it is to log diet and exercise.0
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Let me throw one more issue on it for you.....I am banded! It doesn't absorb calories or fat, it doesn't magically speed up my metabolism or make the fat fall off! I still work under 1200 cals per day, workout 4-5 times per week and try to burn 500-1000 cals per workout. I walk around sore becuse I am trying to build and tone muscle. I drink low carb protein shakes and protein bars.
Even with all of this, I still get....."OH, your banded"....like it's the easy way out! This is HARD work....not a magical solution. I started out at 315 lbs and needed a little extra help with reaching that "full feeling".
I feel your pain! I try to tell everyone that asks that you can follow the same guidelines as me and lose the weight....they don't want to put forth the effort!
PS...I'm a little sensitive...Got my booty kicked by Canadian Strip aerobics instructors last night....OOOOOUUUUUUCCCCCHHHH!0 -
I do get the "how did you do it" question a lot and I just say, "oh nothing much, I just eat less and move about more, boring stuff".
Won't tell 'm anything else. 9 out of 10 people don't want to know anything more anyway.0 -
I hear you. A friend of mine who is overweight has said that she doesn't have the time to log calories, and when I mentioned the great support on here, she said she doesn't have time to "sit and chat on the computer all day." Um, ok, because we all have so much time on our hands. It is a matter of making a commitment and sticking with it no matter what. Simple as that. I f up from time to time, but mfp makes me accountable for it. People shouldn't ask or complain about weight if they really don't want to know the answer or follow through on doing something about it.0
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Just goes to show you, those people aren't really ready for what it takes to get into shape. If they aren't willing to work for it, they aren't going to be successful, not in the long term anyways.
They want a quick fix... they want to start something in the Spring and be bathing suit ready in Summer. The people they want to look like are fit and it has taken them years to get where they are, they don't just wake up in the morning, take a pill... eat some weird mix of foods and Vualah... they're buff.
They want to know what your secret is... maybe you should say something clever like... well, I learned to care about myself... :-) Don't let their inability to commit to anything hard get on your nerves... They just aren't ready for the truth.0 -
"Future investment" - love that!0
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