Gym or Family?....
maddox93
Posts: 2 Member
I always feel so guilty going to the gym for a couple hours, instead of spending that little free time I have from work and daily life/errands with my 3 boys and family. I use to workout 5 days a week when I only had 1, the more children the harder it gets to commit. I also have metabolic syndrome caused by PCOS if I don't workout like a fiend I basically don't lose anything, my body hates to give up the weight without a fight!! Any suggestions on either issue? Thanks! :-)
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Replies
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Are they safe and happy?
Are they bothered?
Guilt is a wasted emotion
Do you not see them at all if you go to the gym? If that's the case I'd go when they sleep.0 -
Some people find reducing carbs helps with weight loss with pcos
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I have three kids myself... It's all about balance. Make it like a doctor apt or a work obligation, pick three days and three recurring times and go... It's not neglect of family to spend time on your health, you're still getting time with them (-:
Not going to the gym at all is neglect to your health... You can do it!0 -
Can they go to the gym with you? My little ones will on occasion, but not very often. I only go to the gym every other day and they know that, so if I'm gone today we can do something tomorrow......for the most part it works out OK. I have to workout after supper though, so i do feel a bit guilty missing their bedtime. I know I'm doing it so I get to live longer for them, so that helps.0
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Thanks!
They're safe but usually really upset when I leave, often need to sneak out. My oldest is fine with it he's 11 he will go with me at times, the little boys are 2 & 4 they don't understand why I'm leaving but they want to go and my gym doesn't offer childcare, I definitely need the energy working out gives with these fellas!
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Instead of going to the gym to workout, is it possible for you to set up what you need at home to exercise and get the kids to join you? You can often find good equipment used on Craigslist or at used sporting goods stores.
You have to consider your health the top priority- If you aren't healthy and strong, how can you be there for your kids when they really need you?
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Are you a single parent?0
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I was just thinking about that earlier actually... how it's tough sometimes because it's really a choice between yourself and your family.
I don't feel guilty about it because I'm an introvert and go nuts if I don't get alone time anyway, but I'm a SAHM too, so I have time to exercise (kids are in school - during school breaks we go to the gym, but mine has babysitting).
Have you considered working out at home? You can find small exercise bikes that are easy to fit in small rooms, or do workout videos (although I don't do those with my kids around either), or buy some weights... there are options. Sure, it's going to cost you a bit to buy that stuff (our bike was $100 and it was very well spent), but in the end it would cost less than the gym.0 -
Have you thought about activities that you could do as a family? Bike riding, hiking, sports, games, active video games.0
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This is why I go to the gym before work. I only get 30 minutes on average, which can suck, but I know I would feel guilty going after work. Guilt for my son and my husband (we work completely opposite days so weekday evenings are the only times we see each other). My gym offers daycare so sometimes on the weekends I'll take my son, but now that he's in the older group, he gets extremely intimidated by the other older kids and doesn't enjoy himself the entire time. So, Monday - Friday 5:45-6:20am is my main/only gym time.0
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Due to some events in 2013 that I feel could have been reduced if I'd been around my kids more, I feel your guilt. I'm a working mom who has tried to get the most out of our evenings and weekends together. Summers are easy because I can get a good workout on playground equipment, and bikes are good for us all. Winter is hard because we get a little sedentary. I stretch at work and try to convince the hubby to put off evening chores at the farm so I can help haul hay and chase animals around; really all I can substantially do in winter is eat less, though.0
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Whilst I can see this working with the 11 year old, two pre-schoolers would most probably mean that workout becomes mothering and OP would not achieve her goalsNeed2Exerc1se wrote: »Have you thought about activities that you could do as a family? Bike riding, hiking, sports, games, active video games.0
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You don't need to spend a couple hours at the gym. 30 minutes before work is enough. Up your intensity rather than going for long bouts. Or you could go on your lunch break. Or after the little ones are put to bed (although that would be rather late for me.)
I also agree that you can find activities everyone can do. Have a snowball throwing contest. Build a snow man. Go sledding. Go to the playground and be active with the kids. Take walks. Turn on some music and dance like you're 15 again
Soda bottle bowling, paper plate skating/hockey, Mousercise. Your kids will love it and you'll be getting in that extra activity (my suggestion is gym in the morning before work, and fun stuff with the kids after!) 0 -
I have three kids myself... It's all about balance. Make it like a doctor apt or a work obligation, pick three days and three recurring times and go... It's not neglect of family to spend time on your health, you're still getting time with them (-:
Not going to the gym at all is neglect to your health... You can do it!
this. the healthier you are, the better the time you spend with your family. you could always find some activities to do WITH your family that would help you be healthy.0 -
for a 45 minute gym work out I have to allocate 90 minutes to allow for getting there and back (I walk) and changing
I think the issue isn't that OP can't find the time but that she is feeling unnecessary parent guilt
the kids are healthy and safe, possibly with another parent or family member, I have no idea
parenting is not a competitive sport .. good enough is all we should hope for and I have no issue with any parent being sensible enough to find some me time so they can truly focus .. it took me until my youngest was 10 to find any me time, and my husband is a hands on dad0 -
OP, can you do some working out before they get up in the morning? Or can you afford to buy home equipment, which could cut down on the time away from home?
I strongly believe that my "me time", which is mostly spent working out, is important for my daughter's development. It teaches her to be independent and learn to do things for herself and, maybe most importantly, teaches her that the world doesn't revolve around her. I love her and do a lot of stuff for and with her but we are separate people and there's no need for us to spend every free moment together.0 -
Whilst I can see this working with the 11 year old, two pre-schoolers would most probably mean that workout becomes mothering and OP would not achieve her goalsNeed2Exerc1se wrote: »Have you thought about activities that you could do as a family? Bike riding, hiking, sports, games, active video games.
Not sure what you mean. I took my toddlers hiking (in backpack carriers when they were too small to keep up), biking (in a trailer before they had their own), on walks in a stroller, we danced, we played outside, we climbed and ran and jumped and had fun. I did consider this part of mothering as much or more than "exercising" but I stayed quite fit doing it.0 -
Seriously, I know you love your children, but don't you think that you are entitled to 30 minutes of uninterrupted time for yourself. If the children are being looked after, drop the guilt and have this 30 minutes as your time to get fit.
This may sound harsh, but if something where to happen, the children will have to cope without mummy, Start giving them the skills now - and its only 30 - 60 minutes.
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Need2Exerc1se wrote: »Whilst I can see this working with the 11 year old, two pre-schoolers would most probably mean that workout becomes mothering and OP would not achieve her goalsNeed2Exerc1se wrote: »Have you thought about activities that you could do as a family? Bike riding, hiking, sports, games, active video games.
Not sure what you mean. I took my toddlers hiking (in backpack carriers when they were too small to keep up), biking (in a trailer before they had their own), on walks in a stroller, we danced, we played outside, we climbed and ran and jumped and had fun. I did consider this part of mothering as much or more than "exercising" but I stayed quite fit doing it.
good for you
I'm pretty sure OP is also an active involved mother .. unfortunately her OP is about parenting guilt over finding me time and am I allowed to do this from what I can see
and the answer is absolutely yes if it is what you want to do, not no you should be with them every minute cos mother
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I was completely active with my children but I did not make good use of solitude & adult time I really could have used... Also, I was much more fit with the first, less so as I juggled the second & began taxiing the older to play dates, lessons, sports etc.
I also spent a large amount of time cleaning, organizing, gardening & cooking from scratch (not just an hour or so of cooking, but multiple hours day in & day out)
My children are older now (13 & 19). I returned to full time work. I finally realized something had to give! Our home is a little more disheveled now. I still cook, but simpler & with fewer homemade components. And I prioritize my workouts & solitude. I really could have done a better job of this when they were younger I can see in hindsight.
Sit down & chart out several potential weekly schedules where EVERYONE gets some of what they want or need. It can be done!0 -
I also have a 2 and a 4 year old and I know exactly what you mean. I just try and fit small workouts in wherever I can really.
I tend to get up early in the morning and do a workout DVD, usually they are just waking up as I'm finishing my post-workout shower.
I go to the gym two nights a week to lift weights, there's no way round that one as I don't have the equipment at home but my husband looks after the kids and I just do 45 minutes so I'm usually back in time to put them to bed afterwards.
Then I also go out running twice a week and my 4 year old comes out with me while I warm up, then I drop her back home with her dad and go back out for half an hour or so.0 -
Need2Exerc1se wrote: »Whilst I can see this working with the 11 year old, two pre-schoolers would most probably mean that workout becomes mothering and OP would not achieve her goalsNeed2Exerc1se wrote: »Have you thought about activities that you could do as a family? Bike riding, hiking, sports, games, active video games.
Not sure what you mean. I took my toddlers hiking (in backpack carriers when they were too small to keep up), biking (in a trailer before they had their own), on walks in a stroller, we danced, we played outside, we climbed and ran and jumped and had fun. I did consider this part of mothering as much or more than "exercising" but I stayed quite fit doing it.
good for you
I'm pretty sure OP is also an active involved mother .. unfortunately her OP is about parenting guilt over finding me time and am I allowed to do this from what I can see
and the answer is absolutely yes if it is what you want to do, not no you should be with them every minute cos mother
Not sure what you are on about,. The OP asked for suggestions, I offered one. No need to get your panties in a wad because my suggestion wasn't the same as yours.0 -
Thanks!
They're safe but usually really upset when I leave, often need to sneak out. My oldest is fine with it he's 11 he will go with me at times, the little boys are 2 & 4 they don't understand why I'm leaving but they want to go and my gym doesn't offer childcare, I definitely need the energy working out gives with these fellas!
Is there a YMCA near you? If I had kids, that's the gym I'd join. They have childcare plus tons of programs for older kids. I have no idea if this is relevant to you, but they do have a sliding scale for those who need financial assistance to pay for their memberships.0 -
OP, can you do some working out before they get up in the morning? Or can you afford to buy home equipment, which could cut down on the time away from home?
I strongly believe that my "me time", which is mostly spent working out, is important for my daughter's development. It teaches her to be independent and learn to do things for herself and, maybe most importantly, teaches her that the world doesn't revolve around her. I love her and do a lot of stuff for and with her but we are separate people and there's no need for us to spend every free moment together.
I second this, I am up at the crack of dawn whilst my daughter and husband are still fast asleep. I drive to the gym and workout for an hour then come home and get the little one ready for nursery and myself ready for work. It was a chore to begin with but now its just part of everyday life
Consequently, my daughter does think that the gym is a person and when I told her that I had left my water bottle at the gym when she asked for water in the car, her response was 'why have you given it to gym and not to me Mommy!!'0 -
Need2Exerc1se wrote: »Need2Exerc1se wrote: »Whilst I can see this working with the 11 year old, two pre-schoolers would most probably mean that workout becomes mothering and OP would not achieve her goalsNeed2Exerc1se wrote: »Have you thought about activities that you could do as a family? Bike riding, hiking, sports, games, active video games.
Not sure what you mean. I took my toddlers hiking (in backpack carriers when they were too small to keep up), biking (in a trailer before they had their own), on walks in a stroller, we danced, we played outside, we climbed and ran and jumped and had fun. I did consider this part of mothering as much or more than "exercising" but I stayed quite fit doing it.
good for you
I'm pretty sure OP is also an active involved mother .. unfortunately her OP is about parenting guilt over finding me time and am I allowed to do this from what I can see
and the answer is absolutely yes if it is what you want to do, not no you should be with them every minute cos mother
Not sure what you are on about,. The OP asked for suggestions, I offered one. No need to get your panties in a wad because my suggestion wasn't the same as yours.
Well that was rude so clearly you have issues with this concept..I'm pretty sure you were/are a good enough parent too 0 -
Need2Exerc1se wrote: »Need2Exerc1se wrote: »Whilst I can see this working with the 11 year old, two pre-schoolers would most probably mean that workout becomes mothering and OP would not achieve her goalsNeed2Exerc1se wrote: »Have you thought about activities that you could do as a family? Bike riding, hiking, sports, games, active video games.
Not sure what you mean. I took my toddlers hiking (in backpack carriers when they were too small to keep up), biking (in a trailer before they had their own), on walks in a stroller, we danced, we played outside, we climbed and ran and jumped and had fun. I did consider this part of mothering as much or more than "exercising" but I stayed quite fit doing it.
good for you
I'm pretty sure OP is also an active involved mother .. unfortunately her OP is about parenting guilt over finding me time and am I allowed to do this from what I can see
and the answer is absolutely yes if it is what you want to do, not no you should be with them every minute cos mother
Not sure what you are on about,. The OP asked for suggestions, I offered one. No need to get your panties in a wad because my suggestion wasn't the same as yours.
Well that was rude so clearly you have issues with this concept..I'm pretty sure you were/are a good enough parent too
I really have no idea what any of that response means.
The OP asked about exercising with children. I offered a suggestion of what worked for me re: exercising with children at home. End of story.0 -
I always feel so guilty going to the gym for a couple hours, instead of spending that little free time I have from work and daily life/errands with my 3 boys and family. I use to workout 5 days a week when I only had 1, the more children the harder it gets to commit. I also have metabolic syndrome caused by PCOS if I don't workout like a fiend I basically don't lose anything, my body hates to give up the weight without a fight!! Any suggestions on either issue? Thanks! :-)
I honestly think you need to find a balance. Time for yourself is important. But so is family. Finding a way to combine family & activity would be good. I'm assuming your kids are young? Take them to a park and play chase. Do active things together.0 -
OP, can you do some working out before they get up in the morning? Or can you afford to buy home equipment, which could cut down on the time away from home?
I strongly believe that my "me time", which is mostly spent working out, is important for my daughter's development. It teaches her to be independent and learn to do things for herself and, maybe most importantly, teaches her that the world doesn't revolve around her. I love her and do a lot of stuff for and with her but we are separate people and there's no need for us to spend every free moment together.
This is great advice. Especially the part about teaching them to be independent and that the world doesn't revolve around them.
When my kids were little I used excercise dvds, mostly when they were not around or before they woke up. Sometimes they were around and joined in. They thought it was fun. There are all kinds of videos online or on your phone you can use. I use the Nike training app. It has 15, 30 and 45 minute workouts that get the job done.0 -
OP, where's the father? Can you make your gym time a special father-kid time?
When our kids were small I owned bath time. I always bathed the kids. That gave my wife some quiet time in the evening.0 -
You don't have to go to the gym everyday. Go every other day and spend the evening home with your kids. If you want you can even sneak a 30-min workout after bedtime.
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