How do you know when you have a problem?

It's not that they 'feel full' after eating one slice of pizza, I could easily down a whole pizza myself. It's your brain you need to train. Only put 1-2 slices on a plate at the dinner table. Pair it with a salad. When you're done, tell yourself that's it.

I went to a birthday party last Saturday and had 1 slice of pizza. I got the flavor and that's all I needed. I pre logged it so I knew what calories I had available. I was nowhere near 'full' though. I don't allow myself to get that stuffed feeling because I workout in the evenings so I can't have that food effecting my performance.

After awhile you'll be able to retrain your brain.

Be careful about how others feel. I could easily eat much larger portions than I usually do. I'm training myself to be satisfied with 2-3 pieces of pizza, for example, but I can easily eat 2 or 3 times that. I will eat until I feel sick if I don't intentionally control myself. As internet wag Jeff Kay says, "There's not a moment of the day or night when I couldn't eat a full meal. And that includes immediately after eating a full meal."

That said, it does sound like you may benefit from some outside help and therapy. I'm afraid I don't know what to suggest though.

You have a problem.

If you have insulin resistance issues, pizza should be something that you eat a couple of times a year, tops. You certainly shouldn't be eating more than one serving. This is self harm.

Doctors suck sometimes, they don't always listen, i think it's a wonderful idea for you to reach out to the eating disorder clinic.

Best of luck and love to you, you will get through this.

I can only speak for myself when I say that my own personal issues with food were from self-loathing. The food was addictive in that it was soothing to me; I sure as hell wasn't getting any soothing from anywhere else. So for me it was more of a psychological addiction, just as gambling, shopping, etc., can be addicting.

How did I break it - I only remember being sick of what it was getting me which was nothing other than being 60 pounds overweight. And I also watched what being overweight did to my parents (who both have hypertension and diabetes).

So it was a conscious struggle at first to break that very very bad habit. And was I absolutely miserable for a while? Yes, I was. I hated life for a few months because I was always hungry and miserable even though I wasn't starving myself or depriving myself - I was only eating sensibly.

But then the weight started to come off. I could wear smaller jeans. And the hunger and the drive to eat faded away.

Now that I'm about 10 pounds away from my goal weight, I no longer have those urges to eat everything in front of me. I can eat a few pieces of chocolate and put the rest away for another day.

Like I said, I can only speak for myself but it was something I had to put my mind to do. I WILL accomplish this. And your daughter is watching what you do. She will learn from you. What do you want to teach her?

I wish there was something one of us could say to help you see the way, but there isn't. It's up to you to do it. You know what you have to do - eat at a deficit and workout as much as possible.

The "secret" honestly is that you WILL fail some days, maybe many, but success is determined by how you deal with that failure. Do you sit around feeling sorry for yourself and consider all the work you previously put in a "write off" and go off the wagon for a couple more months or do you think "*kitten*, that sucks, I can't believe I just did that, better make sure I am better tomorrow".

You're getting a lot of tough love here, so I'm going the other route -- because I hate tough love. I really do.

I have the same problem. My hunger cues don't always work right. They're better now that I've been practicing normal portions and logging food, but not always. I've been at it for years, and there are still days where I could keep eating. I'm not hungry, but the urge is there and I'm not uncomfortable. (Usually it'll catch up with me later.) Sometimes I can simply will myself to make the choice not to, sometimes I won't because I'd be embarrassed to be the only person in the room still eating, and sometimes -- I don't. Sometimes I eat four slices of pizza or four ounces of chips, etc.

Talking to a professional is going to be greatly helpful. Learning how to work yourself does as well. You absolutely can do this, but you need to prioritize self-care and understand what triggers your overeating and how to avoid those things.

(Also: while eating can absolutely be a form of self-harm -- been there, done that -- having moderate amounts of pizza is not.)

TechOutside wrote: »

I never really understood therapists. (sorry to those in the profession) I know that not everyone is me though, I get that.. However, most people know what their problems are, most can identify that food, alcohol, or smoking is their problem. It's how you deal with them, the triggers, and the situations, the why. Therapy seems to be just talking with someone that will listen. Someone knowledgeable in the area to give advice on how others deal or have dealt with the problem, no one can make you do anything you aren't ready to do. Back before google, ebooks, and forums, it was hard to find general answers from people with similar problems. How did they cope, how did they overcome.. Not everyone I read about is me though, how do I know that will work for me... ?

I would think that most of us here have some form of an eating disorder, or lack of knowledge of nutrition and health, all having to deal with problems facing food. For me, I guzzle a big 16 oz glass of water before, during or after a meal, maybe even two sometimes. That triggers my full sensor enough to be able to overcome the desire to eat more. That works for ME, won't work with everyone, but it took a long time finding out what works for ME. Life is just a combination of trial and error. You can find your triggers, you can determine what is making you lazy, you can find out why you do the things you do by trying something different, because frankly, what you are doing now isn't working...

I can't say enough about the interaction of forums like these to give people ideas that they can try to change themselves for the better. Not everyone's suggestions will work, but at least there is an outlet to help that you can try to see if it works for you before shelling out $150 per hour to someone that will listen.

Your advice in this thread is not helpful for people who struggle with compulsive overeating. One time when I was in High School I had to sell chocolate bars. I ate 35 of them, in one sitting, and weighed myself after each one. This is what we're up against. The struggle is not at all comparable to "normal" people's issues with food. Drinking a glass of water before a meal doesn't help. It's not about being hungry or getting full. It's a compulsion to do a repetitive behavior that is deeply ingrained and can be brought about from anxiety or stress.

Therapy with a person who is trained to find out the 'why' behind the behavior (which doesn't have anything to do with food, it's usually past trauma) and then replace the destructive compulsion with new coping behaviors is what's needed. Honestly, people with this type of illness shouldn't look for support on a forum like this, simply because the average person has no idea how to respond or be supportive. There is no "just do this, it helped me" because what the OP is doing is not every day overeating.

levitateme wrote: »

Your advice in this thread is not helpful for people who struggle with compulsive overeating. One time when I was in High School I had to sell chocolate bars. I ate 35 of them, in one sitting, and weighed myself after each one. This is what we're up against. The struggle is not at all comparable to "normal" people's issues with food. Drinking a glass of water before a meal doesn't help. It's not about being hungry or getting full. It's a compulsion to do a repetitive behavior that is deeply ingrained and can be brought about from anxiety or stress.

Therapy with a person who is trained to find out the 'why' behind the behavior (which doesn't have anything to do with food, it's usually past trauma) and then replace the destructive compulsion with new coping behaviors is what's needed. Honestly, people with this type of illness shouldn't look for support on a forum like this, simply because the average person has no idea how to respond or be supportive. There is no "just do this, it helped me" because what the OP is doing is not every day overeating.

Well thank goodness that it wasn't meant for those with a real disorder.

Not sure why it wouldn't be helpful to anyone else though. There are many (if not most) who just need a nudge, they think that they can't do it by themselves, but can be inspired to try to read about their perceived disorder and how others have dealt with it, to do something about it on their own first. I don't see a problem with that.

One person may need more assistance than someone else, but I have raised kids with real special needs who have repeatedly said, I can't, it's too hard, it's impossible. I could go on and on about what the professionals told them what they could and couldn't do.. A nudge in the right direction usually get's them to try, they don't always succeed, but they are trying, and sometimes they do succeed. When they do succeed, it plants a seed, and makes them a bit more willing to try to overcome the next obstacle. They are now productive, self sustaining adults, I'm not sure how those nudges weren't helpful though, if they could do it then literally anyone can.

In my experience, our society has weakened the average mind with excuses as to why they aren't doing what they should, we call everything a disorder now. Doping up all our kids and making them think that they have an alphabet soup "disorder". Those that perceive and relent that they have a problem have minimized those that really have serious issues that need to be dealt with by professionals. Instead we now have more drive by therapists to fill that demand, who's motivations are to get you back in to bill your insurance or to continue the therapy. Filling up the space otherwise needed for true disorders.

So in my humble opinion, not everyone has a true disorder, and those are the ones who I was speaking to. Sorry if you don't agree, but most people do just need a reality check, a nudge, a push.

Those of you with a true diagnosed disorder, then you really shouldn't be reading a forum to get your guidance from someone like me.

kommodevaran wrote: »

I love reading the responses here. I hope they are useful for you too, OP.

I was afraid I suffered from disordered eating, binging or emotional eating, but my unstructured eating pattern was just based on misconceptions mixed with bad habits. I was raised to overeat, and I had to find out, as an adult, actually just a couple of years ago, that full doesn't have to mean stuffed. Normal weight people just eat until they're no longer hungry. It's not that they can't eat more, they choose not to. I was amazed when I realized this, and that I can do it too. Full can have another meaning than not being able to fit more in. How much water do you fill in a glass before you'll say it's full? Remember that you have to lift it to drink, and you don't want to spill. It's normal to be able to go for a walk right after a meal, usually even after dinner.

This is exactly right. I might not be a particularly large adult but I am an adult, and I'm perfectly capable of filling up with two slices of pizza and nothing else - because when I say I'm full, what I mean is that I'm not hungry anymore and I've lost interest in eating. I don't mean that bloated stomach, all the corners are filled, belt buckle is creaking at the seams feeling - I absolutely hate that. It feels nasty and uncomfortable and I find it so physically aversive that pretty much no power on Earth can induce me to eat until I get anywhere near it. I was as amazed as Kommodevaran to realize that some people actually like feeling that full!

That digression aside, OP, I'm glad you've booked an appointment. Whether or not it's possible to get full from two slices of pizza doesn't really matter; what matters is that the way you're eating is a source of distress to you. That's the only reason you need, full stop.

TechOutside wrote: »

levitateme wrote: »

Your advice in this thread is not helpful for people who struggle with compulsive overeating. One time when I was in High School I had to sell chocolate bars. I ate 35 of them, in one sitting, and weighed myself after each one. This is what we're up against. The struggle is not at all comparable to "normal" people's issues with food. Drinking a glass of water before a meal doesn't help. It's not about being hungry or getting full. It's a compulsion to do a repetitive behavior that is deeply ingrained and can be brought about from anxiety or stress.

Therapy with a person who is trained to find out the 'why' behind the behavior (which doesn't have anything to do with food, it's usually past trauma) and then replace the destructive compulsion with new coping behaviors is what's needed. Honestly, people with this type of illness shouldn't look for support on a forum like this, simply because the average person has no idea how to respond or be supportive. There is no "just do this, it helped me" because what the OP is doing is not every day overeating.

Well thank goodness that it wasn't meant for those with a real disorder.

Not sure why it wouldn't be helpful to anyone else though. There are many (if not most) who just need a nudge, they think that they can't do it by themselves, but can be inspired to try to read about their perceived disorder and how others have dealt with it, to do something about it on their own first. I don't see a problem with that.

One person may need more assistance than someone else, but I have raised kids with real special needs who have repeatedly said, I can't, it's too hard, it's impossible. I could go on and on about what the professionals told them what they could and couldn't do.. A nudge in the right direction usually get's them to try, they don't always succeed, but they are trying, and sometimes they do succeed. When they do succeed, it plants a seed, and makes them a bit more willing to try to overcome the next obstacle. They are now productive, self sustaining adults, I'm not sure how those nudges weren't helpful though, if they could do it then literally anyone can.

In my experience, our society has weakened the average mind with excuses as to why they aren't doing what they should, we call everything a disorder now. Doping up all our kids and making them think that they have an alphabet soup "disorder". Those that perceive and relent that they have a problem have minimized those that really have serious issues that need to be dealt with by professionals. Instead we now have more drive by therapists to fill that demand, who's motivations are to get you back in to bill your insurance or to continue the therapy. Filling up the space otherwise needed for true disorders.

So in my humble opinion, not everyone has a true disorder, and those are the ones who I was speaking to. Sorry if you don't agree, but most people do just need a reality check, a nudge, a push.

Those of you with a true diagnosed disorder, then you really shouldn't be reading a forum to get your guidance from someone like me.

No one writes this much of a diatribe (which boils down to "kids these days and their made-up disorders") and considers their opinion "humble." If therapy and disordered eating aren't things you have any experience with or understanding of, I'd highly recommend you simply steer clear of and avoid contributing to threads where people are trying to work with those issues. Your "suck it up and deal with it" attitude is woefully inadequate for the majority of people struggling with this spectrum of issues.

OP, best of luck with your upcoming appointment! Having someone to help you to aid your coping mechanisms and better care for your mental health is one of the most important steps an adult can make.

ellivort wrote: »

I just wanted to thank everyone for the tough love and compassionate responses. I had lots to think about. I have been in touch with an intake worker at the eating disorders clinic and will have an appt at the end of Feb. Best part is all the services are covered by our Canadian health insurance.

No one really thinks eating disorder when you're fat, but looking back to when I was younger I see all kinds of issues. I lost 100 lbs at 16 by eating 500 calories a day and exercising a lot. I ofc gained it back, but I've also had issues of binge eating to the point that I was sick. That led to an adulthood of binge eating and just a generally disordered way of dealing with food. I am hoping my appt will provide some of the help I need.

Thank you again for all the replies

Good luck, OP! It's a great step. It can absolutely be an eating disorder that involves overeating (without purging). Good for you!

ellivort wrote: »

For the record I never diagnosed myself with an eating disorder. Its an option I am exploring based on how out of control I feel around food. I have always wondered if something was wrong with me, for 29 years I have been overweight. For 20 of those years I have tried to lose.

I will never understand the people who reply with a "why are you on a forum asking advice". Yes professionals are the best people, but sometimes a real life experience from someone who is there or has been there is helpful. I received a huge influx of helpful, private messages from this post. Some from people who have or are where I am and some who just had some kind words, others who had some not so helpful suggestions. I take it all in and use it in my thinking patterns.

We should all look to deliver helpful tough love words, empathy or kindness on any communication venue.

Thanks again to everyone.

Because if a behavioural or physical disorder is suspected, you will be amazed by the amount of very dangerous advice you get on online sites. And unless you already have experience with how to deal with the issue (in which you wouldn't have been asking for help online to begin with), it is often impossible to figure out what is helpful and what could cause a lot of harm.