My 600 Pound Life

bellabonbons wrote: »

Emi I agree. If you love someone and they are so obese that they cannot move or walk why would you bring them fast food, liters of Coke and dozens of donuts that is just beyond comprehension. I loved reading a post here where he said he knew he had a choice and wouldn't allow himself to gain that much. You know you hear a lot of comments about no compassion but there's also another element called tough love these people who are saying that there's no compassion could be the very type a personality that would be enablers to people they love it's really sad. We all are given a choice.

Tough love has a place, but compassion can be much more powerful and empowering, when you know the appropriate times for each.

100df wrote: »

Tough love is overrated. Kicking people when they are down rarely has a good effect.

Yep.. You'll never make a good dog by kicking a puppy ( don't kick someone while they are down )

Op- go walk a day in their shoes and see how it feels before throwing stones. You know what they say about glass houses ??

I found it really shocking that 2 patients this season divulged they never once tried to lose weight before. Never attempted any sort of diet or reign it in, like, ever. They became 600 lbs and just went straight for the gastric bypass option.

Trying and failing is one thing, but never trying? Not even diet fads, nothing? Blew my mind, all I could think was the patients must have been really checked out of their life to not make any attempts to lose weight as their lives got harder and harder due to the pounds piling on and on.

singingflutelady wrote: »

I really like the patients from this year but I can never, ever get behind and support Penny.

Preach! She drove me insane. I feel for her it was just so she could get on TV. She never made an effort once.

I find this show intriguing, but at the same time my heart breaks for these people. I do enjoy when the family stands behind them and helps them with their journey. I have also noticed that in later seasons it is not as much about the surgery and losing weight, but about these people discovering themselves as well as facing their demons. And then I find myself screaming at the TV when they inevitably go to a drive thru restaurant.

There was one a couple of weeks ago...I think Chad was his name. His had me blubbering. Towards the end of the episode he admitted that this was his fault, that he let himself get into this situation, and he made his wife and his kids' lives miserable. His wife was bathing him at the start of the episode and he would be so tired from that he would go back to sleep. He was not engaged in his family due to his size. At the end of the episode he was going to the park and playing with his kids, apologized to his wife, and looked 10x happier.

EDIT: And I just reread OP's post--dear God. It's called compassion and empathy. I saw that you are a photographer. Photographers can find beauty in all they see--I suggest you take that same outlook and apply it to what you see when you are not looking through a lens. Yikes.

And yes I did judge Penny but come on...compare her episode to others, Google her, and you will quickly realize her intentions being on the show were not to better herself or her life.

gfjay wrote: »

I can see how it happens to someone. I started 2015 at 490 pounds. By the start of Dec 2015 I was 530. I am 100% positive that I would have cracked 600 by the end of 2016. Fortunately I'm getting help from my doctor and medical staff, and am back down to 490 over the last 8 weeks. I may (although won't be disappointed if I miss it a bit) hit 400 by the end of the year.

I'm not lazy. I know that binge eating causes weight gain. I'm not stupid. But it's always easier to start something tomorrow than it is today. You get to be 400, 500, 600 pounds by eating way more than necessary every day, and every day saying you're going to start tomorrow.

Severely morbidly obese people aren't asking for pity. Or excuses. However, those explicitly saying they don't have any empathy, or "just can't imagine", are speaking volumes about their own character and nothing about the obese people they reference. I'd rather be my compassionate, caring, empathetic 500 pound self forever than be a thin someone who doesn't have the ability to step in someone's else's shoes or show compassion and understanding that everyone is struggling with something. Next time consider a kind word instead of judgement.

tara_means_star wrote: »

There are an infinite number of reasons a person could gain up to 600lbs...many of the larger people I've worked with in counseling got that way as a way of trying to protect themselves. You see, they were raped at a healthy weight but when morbidly obese, they can feel just a little bit safer. I'm not saying every overweight person has a trauma story behind their weight but some do. The fact is that you don't know a person's story and certainly shouldn't look down on someone or kick them when they are down...at the least, you are kicking someone who's already struggling and at the worst you could be kicking someone who's already been terribly abused.

Exactly. Threads like this can be damaging for people.

singingflutelady wrote: »

I really like the patients from this year but I can never, ever get behind and support Penny.

Same, screw that person in particular. She made me legit wanna break my tv.

bellabonbons wrote: »

And threads like this can also be very helpful to people. We are all vulnerable. Most here have the potential to gain enormous amounts of weight and most have experienced their own trauma to some degree. It's beautiful to see some of the contestants lose the weight. But there are a few who refused. I think of The mother who expected her teenage son to bring her loads of food and do everything for her. He had no life of his own. And she is the one that made every excuse not to get up and try to walk after surgery and wanted to spend most of her evenings at bunco games eating donuts and always expected her teenage son to take her. My heart went out for him this poor kid had no life while he waited on his mother. if I had a family member who weighed close to 500 to 600 pounds and expected me to bring them food while they are in bed you bat, I would bring them food but it would not be food loaded with calories it would be lean meats healthy vegetables and some fruits and water. And if they complained, I would suggest that they get out of bed and get it themselves. They have to eat so they would eventually eat the healthy foods that I gave them. One of the contestants made her two teenage daughters bring her deep fried foods. And liters of Coke. When her daughters finally said no, she threw her daughters out of the house and told them they couldn't live there anymore.

How would this thread be very helpful?

The same way going to an AA meeting and making condescending remarks about those with alcoholism would be?

tara_means_star wrote: »

There are an infinite number of reasons a person could gain up to 600lbs...many of the larger people I've worked with in counseling got that way as a way of trying to protect themselves. You see, they were raped at a healthy weight but when morbidly obese, they can feel just a little bit safer. I'm not saying every overweight person has a trauma story behind their weight but some do. The fact is that you don't know a person's story and certainly shouldn't look down on someone or kick them when they are down...at the least, you are kicking someone who's already struggling and at the worst you could be kicking someone who's already been terribly abused.

I was going to say the same thing. Often the women are victims of sexual abuse in childhood or as early teens. More often it's from a family or close friend. The men I don't see as much as a trend with this, but mostly there is a psychological issue at play. The obesity is a symptom. Not the result of just plain lazy and bad eating.

Worst are the mothers of these people who keep them dependent because their whole lives have been spent "looking after them".

One episode, the husband was a feeder and wanted his woman big. He feared she would leave him if she got to a healthy weight.

There are too many variables at play to make a blanket statement.