venting on "male PIGS"

Options
245

Replies

  • AwesomeSauce4
    AwesomeSauce4 Posts: 1,062 Member
    Options
    It sounds like your husband is feeling threatened or insecure as he watches his wife transforming before his eyes. Change is hard for everyone, especially if you have been significantly overweight for a long time. He knows he enjoys looking at other women, and now he is seeing others eyeing HIS wife - it probably scares him. He may be asking himself, "will she discard me once she discards all that weight?

    Assuming you are otherwise happy with your mate, you might try sitting down with him and reassuring him that no matter what YOUR size, you want HIM and no one else!

    PS....did you know that pigs are one of the most intelligent animals one earth? LOL

    I have tried to sit down with him, But He just don't listen !!!

    Haha!! Didn't know that.. Guess I better come up with a new name then.. lol :)
  • bunchesonothing
    bunchesonothing Posts: 1,015 Member
    Options


    I love how you put it "acting like a child who lost interest in their favorite toy and don't play with it anymore until someone else wants to play with it." that's exactly how I feel:wink:

    Unless he is normally a huge jerk and a spazz, though, I wouldn't word it this way to him. Criminalizing our spouses is one way to escalate a misunderstanding into a huge fight in about 3, 2, 1...
  • AwesomeSauce4
    AwesomeSauce4 Posts: 1,062 Member
    Options
    PS....did you know that pigs are one of the most intelligent animals one earth? LOL

    I reckon they get it from spending so much time with humans..

    Haha!!! Love it!!
  • 916SAC
    916SAC Posts: 39
    Options
    I am a newbie here so forgive me 4 replying - BUT - this guy is your husband? Seems you have more probs (with your hubby) then can be fixed here. My advice is to "ask him" the same question that you have asked here?
  • alex215
    alex215 Posts: 518 Member
    Options
    it goes both ways...when i was 300lbs i was the nice fat friend guy, but strictly friends and only friends nothing more... then 100lbs lost later girls that wouldn't have given me the time of day started to get all flirty and all of a sudden wanted my attention.

    weird because i was the same nice guy when i was their fat friend, but i guess since i was in shape now it made it ok for these girls to want more than a friendship with me.

    It just inst Men or Women... its human nature and maybe some media influence of what is attractive and what is not. the brutal truth is people can be shallow male or female.
  • AwesomeSauce4
    AwesomeSauce4 Posts: 1,062 Member
    Options


    I love how you put it "acting like a child who lost interest in their favorite toy and don't play with it anymore until someone else wants to play with it." that's exactly how I feel:wink:

    Unless he is normally a huge jerk and a spazz, though, I wouldn't word it this way to him. Criminalizing our spouses is one way to escalate a misunderstanding into a huge fight in about 3, 2, 1...

    He is a good guy "most days" But he also has alot of insecurities.. He is healthy in weight in all but There is 12+ yr gap between us and I think this is alot to do with it.. I have been over weight for the last 11yrs, so yes this is very different to him.. But I was about 135lb when we got married 13yrs ago so he has been with me when I was thin.. I tell him He is my sabotager in weightloss cause he wants me to stay fat.. And he really does try to "sabotage" me... But this time he knows I am in it for the long haul this time..
  • Smittyinthesun2
    Smittyinthesun2 Posts: 161
    Options
    Women have the same kind of issues as well, I'm a bigger guy and compared to the regular size guy I am the Super sized guy.

    Whatever its a game I get it, but dont blame it all on the guys. When was the last time you saw a really hot woman with some chunky money dude, that wasn't paying for it, uber rich or a celebrity. This road goes both ways !
  • pyro13g
    pyro13g Posts: 1,127 Member
    Options
    Divorce seems in order. I'd suggest counseling but trying to save you guys some cash.
  • AwesomeSauce4
    AwesomeSauce4 Posts: 1,062 Member
    Options
    it goes both ways...when i was 300lbs i was the nice fat friend guy, but strictly friends and only friends nothing more... then 100lbs lost later girls that wouldn't have given me the time of day started to get all flirty and all of a sudden wanted my attention.

    weird because i was the same nice guy when i was their fat friend, but i guess since i was in shape now it made it ok for these girls to want more than a friendship with me.

    It just inst Men or Women... its human nature and maybe some media influence of what is attractive and what is not. the brutal truth is people can be shallow male or female.

    Very True!! I do beleive it goes both ways Male/female..

    Thanks Buddies you all are awesome!!!!
  • reepobob
    reepobob Posts: 1,172 Member
    Options
    The most faithful guys' eyes wander and the most grounded, sef-assured guys get jealous...it's human nature. It's how we react to both that separates men from pigs. Let the man see what he wants to see, but don't let him sample! Let him be jealous, but also let him know you are going to do your thing no matter what. He either has to accept and deal or you will always have problems.

    Accept us men for what we are, but set limits on what we do with what we are...if we acted any different we would either be gay or women...LOL!

    I don't apologize for ogling...as long as I have eyes in my head and I have a pulse, I will check out a firm *kitten* or a nice set of twins. Sorry, it is what I am!
  • AwesomeSauce4
    AwesomeSauce4 Posts: 1,062 Member
    Options
    I am a newbie here so forgive me 4 replying - BUT - this guy is your husband? Seems you have more probs (with your hubby) then can be fixed here. My advice is to "ask him" the same question that you have asked here?

    That's just it!! I haved asked and There is no returned proper answer:angry:
  • bunchesonothing
    bunchesonothing Posts: 1,015 Member
    Options
    wow i wish i could be like that.
    I know if i ever saw my fiance looking at another girl when i was stood next to him i would instantly feel in-adequate.
    Escpecially if i was with him and id spent ages trying to look nice. And he decided to check out another girl than me..
    I guess im just uptite about this kind of thing...

    I think it's natural to have your response.

    But, I also think that we don't always notice them ogling us. It's a wonderful ego boost to see your BF, GF or significant other staring at you. I think we often just blow it off because they are with us, or don't pay attention(we're too busy doing our daily activities when we're with our sig others) and we also tend to devalue ourselves. When someone else looks, it seems to give a lot of people an extra rush, because, it's new attention. It makes us feel good. If he loves you though, take the time to notice. I'm sure you'll catch him checking you out! :)

    If I can tell that he wants to be with me, shows me interest and respects me... I don't care if he looks at a random girl he's never going to see again.
  • AwesomeSauce4
    AwesomeSauce4 Posts: 1,062 Member
    Options
    Divorce seems in order. I'd suggest counseling but trying to save you guys some cash.

    Oh Beleive me. It's been put out there as an option.. I just don't want to give up on him Just because of Jealousy!!! I do Love him But somedays I just can't take the Lack of trust in our relationship.. "on his end"
  • 916SAC
    916SAC Posts: 39
    Options
    I am a newbie here so forgive me 4 replying - BUT - this guy is your husband? Seems you have more probs (with your hubby) then can be fixed here. My advice is to "ask him" the same question that you have asked here?

    That's just it!! I haved asked and There is no returned proper answer:angry:

    Maybe he needs 2 read the responses that you have received from people that you or he "really" don't know! If you are truly in love with each other, then looks "DO NOT" matter!
    I could see if it was a matter of an health issue?
  • Becca_007
    Becca_007 Posts: 596 Member
    Options
    I am a newbie here so forgive me 4 replying - BUT - this guy is your husband? Seems you have more probs (with your hubby) then can be fixed here. My advice is to "ask him" the same question that you have asked here?

    That's just it!! I haved asked and There is no returned proper answer:angry:
    What's the "proper answer" you're looking for?

    Also curious if jealousy has always been an issue with you two or only since the weight drop?
  • AwesomeSauce4
    AwesomeSauce4 Posts: 1,062 Member
    Options
    I am a newbie here so forgive me 4 replying - BUT - this guy is your husband? Seems you have more probs (with your hubby) then can be fixed here. My advice is to "ask him" the same question that you have asked here?

    That's just it!! I haved asked and There is no returned proper answer:angry:

    Maybe he needs 2 read the responses that you have received from people that you or he "really" don't know! If you are truly in love with each other, then looks "DO NOT" matter!
    I could see if it was a matter of an health issue?

    I might Just do that!!! and your right looks shouldn't matter!!!
  • pyro13g
    pyro13g Posts: 1,127 Member
    Options
    Divorce seems in order. I'd suggest counseling but trying to save you guys some cash.

    Oh Beleive me. It's been put out there as an option.. I just don't want to give up on him Just because of Jealousy!!! I do Love him But somedays I just can't take the Lack of trust in our relationship.. "on his end"

    Heed the signs. It's only going to get worse. Thinking you're cheating because you received a compliment. I have talked to many battered women that have said the same thing.
  • AwesomeSauce4
    AwesomeSauce4 Posts: 1,062 Member
    Options
    I am a newbie here so forgive me 4 replying - BUT - this guy is your husband? Seems you have more probs (with your hubby) then can be fixed here. My advice is to "ask him" the same question that you have asked here?

    That's just it!! I haved asked and There is no returned proper answer:angry:
    What's the "proper answer" you're looking for?

    Also curious if jealousy has always been an issue with you two or only since the weight drop?

    His answer is always "Whatever" And no this Jealousy issue is very new to me..w/ him
  • LorinaLynn
    LorinaLynn Posts: 13,247 Member
    Options
    Here's the way I see it... If even I notice a good looking woman, how can I expect a guy not to?! I'll point them out to my husband.

    I know there's women out there younger, prettier, sexier, cuter, curvier, leaner and hotter than me. But, for starters, I'm 100% confident in my husband's attraction to me... And more than that, I know that I'm ... well, MORE THAN THAT! A pretty woman is fun to look at, but she's not the one who loves him, makes him laugh, laughs at his jokes, cheers him up when he's down, cheers him on when he's up, understands and appreciates his quirks, brings him Sudafed when he has a cold, buys his favorite pretzels when grocery shopping, and is "mother" to his cats and dog. :wink: I'm the one who washes his dirty clothes, makes his lunch, and reminded him that the RedBox across the street now rents video games, and oh, look they have LA Noire!
  • Swimgoddess
    Swimgoddess Posts: 711 Member
    Options
    That's called EVOLUTION. Healthier women are more likely to produce healthy offspring. That will never change.
    Oh... and jealousy ensures that the offspring are HIS. Men tend to be more jealous because compared to eggs, sperm is cheap.

    ^^^THIS. You can download "It's Not You, It's Biology" by J. Quirk in iBooks that sums up many of the Evolutionary Psychology studies quite well. Female humans are the ONLY primates with a tapered waist. Natural & sex selection built us that way in order to exaggerate/"advertise" our bigger hips AND in conjunction with the smaller waist that we aren't currently knocked up (but we >could< be with a little horizontal effort *wink* *wink*) Bigger hips = capacity to birth bigger brained smarter babies. They've found women with lower WHR have children with higher IQs due to the long chain polyunsaturated acids found in hip fat. Men aren't being pigs... they're doing what comes naturally to ensure their gene's survival. Women can tsk tsk all they want but it boils down to survival of the species. No matter how evolved and "above it" we think we are, we are hardwired like any other animal. Your guy is more protective of you now because of what quoted poster summed up was "parental investment theory". Basically, since men don't actually give birth to their children themselves, there is no way for him to be sure the child you say is his is really his; yet he is still expected to provide resources to raise it. The best way for him to ensure that is by being proactively possessive. Oh, and women who are currently ovulating are WAY more likely to stray than they would normally otherwise. Your pheromones during this time not only attract every red-blooded male around like a big "*kitten* me now" sign, it tips off your partner too who will instinctively put up his guard and become more overprotective. The more you lose weight and accentuate your WHR, the more you're going to draw the attention of other guys who haven't had the privilege of knowing you for your wonderful personality and all those things that you expect your man to love you for at a constant regardless of what the scale says. He's just doing what comes naturally. Darwin would applaud him for it and so should you now that you can appreciate a little what's behind that pig-like ticking ;)

Categories