Problem with alcohol
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I quit Dec 28th 2015.... yep right before New Years. I have been wanting to quit for years and FINALLY broke the cycle of drinking 6-7 days a week. It just killed all motivation for me. Had to go!
Kudos to you for wanting to do something about it and taking that step. I am rooting for you!!0 -
Good on you for your efforts so far. Alcoholics Anonymous can be a wonderful source of caring support. Your life will keep getting better in all sort of ways as you move in these positive directions. I wish you every success.0
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My problem with alcohol is from the opposite side. I grew up with parents that drank and were abusive. Then I ended up in a relationship with a sober alcoholic. Three great years now followed by three years of him drinking, 18 beer a day, verbal insults, cheating and all around good time. He is now down to 6 beer a day but the pain and scars he left in his hurricane are forever in my heart. I *kitten* hate alcohol and the pain it has caused my life without me ever having a drinking problem. It pisses me off how ppl drink this *kitten* hurt ppl they love in ways that are damaging and are so self absorbed in their drinking it's all about them. I will never understand how someone can raise a glass knowing that when they do they treat someone who loves them like complete garbage and *kitten*. It is on me for allowing that to happen. I get that. I cashed in money I didn't have to send him to rehab he never went to. Enabled him by helping him pick up the pieces over and over. The part I wonder does the alcoholic ever pick up the pieces of the persons life they shattered along the way or is it always about them and their *kitten* problems. I'm sure some do and make amends but I wonder do they even remember calling their loved ones painful hurtful names. I saw this thread and idk why but the anger I feel from the other side of the spectrum is clear. It's always about the poor alcoholic and everyone cater to them. Must be nice to get wasted and hurt ppl cause you have an illness and long after u recover from it the ppl u destroyed along the way never get that option.0
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I use to use alcohol to help me sleep until a friend recommended melatonin. That works for me.0
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My sister is a recovering alcoholic and couldn't have done it without AA. They have become her second family. I recommend you try a few different meetings (sometimes it takes a while
to find one that clicks with you).
You honestly don't need to cut back, you need to admit that you are an alcoholic, quit drinking, and find a support group. They also have AA online support groups which might really help you.
Good luck. You can do this.
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My grandfather and father died from being alcoholics so I read this and my heart swells with pride that you are trying to quit and are being successful.0
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Feistychick68 wrote: »My problem with alcohol is from the opposite side. I grew up with parents that drank and were abusive. Then I ended up in a relationship with a sober alcoholic. Three great years now followed by three years of him drinking, 18 beer a day, verbal insults, cheating and all around good time. He is now down to 6 beer a day but the pain and scars he left in his hurricane are forever in my heart. I *kitten* hate alcohol and the pain it has caused my life without me ever having a drinking problem. It pisses me off how ppl drink this *kitten* hurt ppl they love in ways that are damaging and are so self absorbed in their drinking it's all about them. I will never understand how someone can raise a glass knowing that when they do they treat someone who loves them like complete garbage and *kitten*. It is on me for allowing that to happen. I get that. I cashed in money I didn't have to send him to rehab he never went to. Enabled him by helping him pick up the pieces over and over. The part I wonder does the alcoholic ever pick up the pieces of the persons life they shattered along the way or is it always about them and their *kitten* problems. I'm sure some do and make amends but I wonder do they even remember calling their loved ones painful hurtful names. I saw this thread and idk why but the anger I feel from the other side of the spectrum is clear. It's always about the poor alcoholic and everyone cater to them. Must be nice to get wasted and hurt ppl cause you have an illness and long after u recover from it the ppl u destroyed along the way never get that option.
First off, I am sorry about your parents and the horrible irresponsible choices they made. I personally can relate, but not exactly on the same level. I grew up with extremely abusive parents ...but they never touched the stuff. And I am also sorry about your past relationship and how he treated you. Dirt bag!! But I must say to you that NOT ALL people who have a drinking addiction are like this. Lord no!! I am the giddy jolly one when drinking. My husband too. We NEVER hurled insults or anything nasty when drinking. Never when sober either. Too much respect for one another. Quitting was my personal choice to keep my health and for better fitness. I know you are angry and hurt, and my heart goes out to you. It can take many years to undo the damage done from bad childhood experiences at home (from the people who are supposed to love, lift up, and protect you). But please, don't say that all alcoholics, or those who enjoy alcohol, are mean nasty self-centered people.0 -
Feistychick68 wrote: »My problem with alcohol is from the opposite side. I grew up with parents that drank and were abusive. Then I ended up in a relationship with a sober alcoholic. Three great years now followed by three years of him drinking, 18 beer a day, verbal insults, cheating and all around good time. He is now down to 6 beer a day but the pain and scars he left in his hurricane are forever in my heart. I *kitten* hate alcohol and the pain it has caused my life without me ever having a drinking problem. It pisses me off how ppl drink this *kitten* hurt ppl they love in ways that are damaging and are so self absorbed in their drinking it's all about them. I will never understand how someone can raise a glass knowing that when they do they treat someone who loves them like complete garbage and *kitten*. It is on me for allowing that to happen. I get that. I cashed in money I didn't have to send him to rehab he never went to. Enabled him by helping him pick up the pieces over and over. The part I wonder does the alcoholic ever pick up the pieces of the persons life they shattered along the way or is it always about them and their *kitten* problems. I'm sure some do and make amends but I wonder do they even remember calling their loved ones painful hurtful names. I saw this thread and idk why but the anger I feel from the other side of the spectrum is clear. It's always about the poor alcoholic and everyone cater to them. Must be nice to get wasted and hurt ppl cause you have an illness and long after u recover from it the ppl u destroyed along the way never get that option.
First off, I am sorry about your parents and the horrible irresponsible choices they made. I personally can relate, but not exactly on the same level. I grew up with extremely abusive parents ...but they never touched the stuff. And I am also sorry about your past relationship and how he treated you. Dirt bag!! But I must say to you that NOT ALL people who have a drinking addiction are like this. Lord no!! I am the giddy jolly one when drinking. My husband too. We NEVER hurled insults or anything nasty when drinking. Never when sober either. Too much respect for one another. Quitting was my personal choice to keep my health and for better fitness. I know you are angry and hurt, and my heart goes out to you. It can take many years to undo the damage done from bad childhood experiences at home (from the people who are supposed to love, lift up, and protect you). But please, don't say that all alcoholics, or those who enjoy alcohol, are mean nasty self-centered people.
This this and so much this! ^^^
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But please, don't say that all alcoholics, or those who enjoy alcohol, are mean nasty self-centered people.
It takes a full year of complete abstinence from alcohol for a former drunk to have the insight and the objectivity to understand what they were really like when they drank. It takes a bit longer still for some. Most drunks and recently abstinent former drunks think they are (or were) just merry, fun loving, harmless, good time Charlies. The reality is, whether it's overtly obvious or not, they are and were dark characters in almost every way.
Politically incorrect former drunk here who doesn't use the made up word "alcoholic". 16 years abstinent from alcohol.
Fair enough. What is the definition of a drunk anyway? I have always wondered. I had 3-5 drinks a day, and did this 6-7 days a week over the course of 8 years straight. Never blacked out. And always drank at home with the husband as we live out in the middle of nowhere. That is a lot of beer consumed (for me anyway) and admittedly it killed my motivation to stick to a workout regime. I had corrected my diet food-wise years ago and lost pretty much all the weight I wanted to with the exception of 13 lbs. My symptoms when quitting was 9 days straight of headaches, sleeplessness for about a week, and crazy sugar cravings. Still have the sugar cravings, but wow I am so happy I kicked that habit! Feel so much better already. I am looking forward to completing a full year of abstinence.0 -
But please, don't say that all alcoholics, or those who enjoy alcohol, are mean nasty self-centered people.
It takes a full year of complete abstinence from alcohol for a former drunk to have the insight and the objectivity to understand what they were really like when they drank. It takes a bit longer still for some. Most drunks and recently abstinent former drunks think they are (or were) just merry, fun loving, harmless, good time Charlies. The reality is, whether it's overtly obvious or not, they are and were dark characters in almost every way.
Politically incorrect former drunk here who doesn't use the made up word "alcoholic". 16 years abstinent from alcohol.
Fair enough. What is the definition of a drunk anyway? I have always wondered. I had 3-5 drinks a day, and did this 6-7 days a week over the course of 8 years straight. Never blacked out. And always drank at home with the husband as we live out in the middle of nowhere. That is a lot of beer consumed (for me anyway) and admittedly it killed my motivation to stick to a workout regime. I had corrected my diet food-wise years ago and lost pretty much all the weight I wanted to with the exception of 13 lbs. My symptoms when quitting was 9 days straight of headaches, sleeplessness for about a week, and crazy sugar cravings. Still have the sugar cravings, but wow I am so happy I kicked that habit! Feel so much better already. I am looking forward to completing a full year of abstinence.
I have to ask that question how do you define an alcoholic? I typically don't drink during the weekdays but I can drink 2 bottles of wine easily and not abuse anyone. I now have stopped because I need to get serious about losing weight for health reasons. But not drinking on the weekends allows me to get up and get my morning workouts done and even go to church on Sunday.
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I quit alcohol on January 8th, 1993 and haven't had a drink since. I don't miss it a bit. I'm a licensed mental health professional (not in practice at present) who worked with a lot of addicts over the years and I can tell you, there's no category in DSM-5 for "drunk" or "alcoholic". The categories used in diagnosis are substance abuser and substance dependent; these fall on a scale rather than being a pair of black/white categories. Some heavy abusers can walk away from using their substance (or behavior) of choice, and not miss it. Some can quit on their own. Other find they've become dependent (addicted) and need help to change their behavior. I'd suggest this: if you can consistently have one or two drinks without using more than you planned, don't have any negative consequences in your life, can go without using and not miss it, and haven't seen a change in the amount of substance you need to get the effect you want, it's likely you don't need help.0
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But please, don't say that all alcoholics, or those who enjoy alcohol, are mean nasty self-centered people.
It takes a full year of complete abstinence from alcohol for a former drunk to have the insight and the objectivity to understand what they were really like when they drank. It takes a bit longer still for some. Most drunks and recently abstinent former drunks think they are (or were) just merry, fun loving, harmless, good time Charlies. The reality is, whether it's overtly obvious or not, they are and were dark characters in almost every way.
Politically incorrect former drunk here who doesn't use the made up word "alcoholic". 16 years abstinent from alcohol.
Fair enough. What is the definition of a drunk anyway?
A drunk is a problem drinker. When a drinker decides drinking has become a problem then they've graduated to drunk. Sometimes an individual has no problem with the fact that they drink, but other people do. Like the people they crash into when they're driving or the people they offend with their breath or the people they fail to issue paychecks to on payday because they were too hungover or tipsy. These drinkers are also drunks even if they're fine with drinking and have no intention of stopping. People generally know a drunk when they see one. They're everywhere.
There's no such thing as a dry drunk (no matter what you've heard) or a drunk in recovery.
One either drinks or doesn't drink.
Ironically, you have to have never been a drinker or stopped drinking for one year with an absolute commitment to lifetime abstinence to understand the significance of both stations.
Thanks for responding. Little do I know! I never bothered with the stuff till my late 20's. And it did not become daily habit till age 34... up till which time I would indulge once to twice a month. Ultimately, I considered myself having a problem being I went from having strong self-control, to drinking as much as 7 days/wk. And before I went another 8 years I wanted to "nip" it. Congrats on 16 years abstinent!0 -
But please, don't say that all alcoholics, or those who enjoy alcohol, are mean nasty self-centered people.
It takes a full year of complete abstinence from alcohol for a former drunk to have the insight and the objectivity to understand what they were really like when they drank. It takes a bit longer still for some. Most drunks and recently abstinent former drunks think they are (or were) just merry, fun loving, harmless, good time Charlies. The reality is, whether it's overtly obvious or not, they are and were dark characters in almost every way.
Politically incorrect former drunk here who doesn't use the made up word "alcoholic". 16 years abstinent from alcohol.
Fair enough. What is the definition of a drunk anyway?
A drunk is a problem drinker. When a drinker decides drinking has become a problem then they've graduated to drunk. Sometimes an individual has no problem with the fact that they drink, but other people do. Like the people they crash into when they're driving or the people they offend with their breath or the people they fail to issue paychecks to on payday because they were too hungover or tipsy. These drinkers are also drunks even if they're fine with drinking and have no intention of stopping. People generally know a drunk when they see one. They're everywhere.
There's no such thing as a dry drunk (no matter what you've heard) or a drunk in recovery.
One either drinks or doesn't drink.
Ironically, you have to have never been a drinker or stopped drinking for one year with an absolute commitment to lifetime abstinence to understand the significance of both stations.
Thanks for responding. Little do I know! I never bothered with the stuff till my late 20's. And it did not become daily habit till age 34... up till which time I would indulge once to twice a month. Ultimately, I considered myself having a problem being I went from having strong self-control, to drinking as much as 7 days/wk. And before I went another 8 years I wanted to "nip" it. Congrats on 16 years abstinent!
Good things await you. You sound like you get it and want your wonderful abstinent life to continue and get stronger. With commitment, it will and your life will bloom in ways you never imagined. Best regards to you.
Thank you so much!!0 -
Hey people I enjoyed reading what everyone wrote.
Still without a drink, I jogged for maybe a mile yesterday and walked maybe 2 more. My ankles are sore. Lol
I did the dishes, sweeper and mopped the floor today. About to go wash the car and get a haircut. I'm regaining some focus I was able to sit through almost a whole movie. I watched walk among tombstones and didn't lose interest till the end, I blame it on the movie. Lol0 -
getting a new hobby can be a great distraction for the mind
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Hey people I enjoyed reading what everyone wrote.
Still without a drink, I jogged for maybe a mile yesterday and walked maybe 2 more. My ankles are sore. Lol
I did the dishes, sweeper and mopped the floor today. About to go wash the car and get a haircut. I'm regaining some focus I was able to sit through almost a whole movie. I watched walk among tombstones and didn't lose interest till the end, I blame it on the movie. Lol
Good for you. One day at a time. Just keep going and life gets better. Glad to see you're still with us.0 -
The drinking doesn't sound like it's the problem. Although a sixer a day will surely lead to a gut. You sound depressed as hell. You seem unhappy with yourself, or life, or relationship, or something. Figure out how to be happy first. If you don't give a *kitten* about waking up, or life, or friends...then why should you care about drinking a few pounders at night?
Granted this is based on about a paragraph of insight, I may be way off.0 -
I am 10 days sober as of today. I have been wanting to quit for a while and went out on my birthday, almost got arrested, lost my phone and was out the whole next day due to a hangover. I was drinking easily a half a bottle of rum every other to every day for months. It slowly worked up to that, I've been drinking since I was 12 years old, and have always been a binge drinker, I have no intention of stopping after a certain amount, I just keep going. Anyways, I've been thinking about stopping for a long time and that was just my tipping point! I feel really good. I can say for a week I haven't had to wake up worried I'll be embarrassed about something I said or did the night before. No blacking out or throwing up. Obviously my weight loss journey has benefited as well, I'm down 7 pounds this week! I keep thinking maybe I can have just a beer this weekend, or one drink, but then that little voice lets me know that will absolutely not happen. It is never just one...so I'm aiming for NONE! I'm on a mission! Hope you can keep going too. Add me if you want some support!0
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good luck @prncssjnn
I do have an occasional drink, but am friends with a number of nondrinkers. I think all of them are happier that they have removed alcohol and all the issues they had that came with their drinking0
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