Significant others
My girlfriend is absolutely not interested at all in fitness, nutrition, or motivating/encouraging. This is a huge problem considering ive resolved to make fitness an integral part of my life. Anyone have a significant other that doesn't share the passion for fitness/personal development? Any advice on how to encourage it??
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Replies
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I know it's nice to have the encouragement or support of one's other half or for them to be actively involved in some way, but really what you're saying is that because you suddenly developed this interest and you resolved to be active, that she must do too? Why should she? I think that any pressure put on her to "get involved" in your regime is only going to be met with resistance.0
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Anyone have a significant other that doesn't share the passion for fitness/personal development? Any advice on how to encourage it??
Mine is actually insecure about the prospects of me improving my fitness and my looks, to the point where she's flat out said that she thinks when I get my weight down I'll get a better girlfriend. Her words, not mine. I just do what I can to reassure her. She's literally out of my league physically so I just tell her that the only thing that's going to happen when I lose weight is that we'll match.
As far as encouraging her I just try to incorporate active things we can do with one another. Right now I'm too heavy to run so on the weekends instead of going to the gym and getting on an elliptical or treadmill I go walk. She goes with me and this gives us a couple of hours to hang out together without any distractions and just chat. She can't run because of a back injury but when I do start running I'll probably get her some roller blades or she can just ride her bike. The important thing is to find something that meets your needs for physical exertion that she can share with you so that she starts to associate fitness with time spend together.
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Go nuts with yours and make them so jealous they have to either shape up or ship out.0
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I know it's nice to have the encouragement or support of one's other half or for them to be actively involved in some way, but really what you're saying is that because you suddenly developed this interest and you resolved to be active, that she must do too? Why should she? I think that any pressure put on her to "get involved" in your regime is only going to be met with resistance.
So what you're saying is to find someone new at the gym?... Lol jk I'm just saying it would be nice If she took some interest in it. For instance, she loves cooking. I signed us both up for a class to take together and bought her a cook book.0 -
I know it's nice to have the encouragement or support of one's other half or for them to be actively involved in some way, but really what you're saying is that because you suddenly developed this interest and you resolved to be active, that she must do too? Why should she? I think that any pressure put on her to "get involved" in your regime is only going to be met with resistance.
So what you're saying is to find someone new at the gym?... Lol
No I didn't say that at all.
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in my experience, you can't make anyone do something they don't want to do, becoming a nag? is not the answer... some folks just don't get it... for reasons known only to themselves... don't push your ideals... relationships evolve... some for the better... some for the worse... My wife and I quit smoking together 7 years ago... just last month... she decided that was long enough... she works hard all day... comes home emotionally exhausted... and with heel spurs and plantar's fasciitis... all she can do at the end of the day is put her feet up... I on the other hand... get up at 4 walk the dog, get ready for work... and get home at 6.. .grab my gear and I am off to the gym for up to 2 hours at least twice during the week... and then I hit the gym Saturday AND Sunday...would I like her to participate? of course... but I can't allow her issues to prevent me from doing what is right for me... and I wouldn't stop her from doing what she feels is right for her.0
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My husband's not into it at all. He was an amazing wrestler and said it would take too long to get back to where he was. I've accepted that, but what kills me is all the junk food in the house. He's one of those people that can eat whatever they want and still stay lean - I am not. But that's why I have you guys! Stay strong!0
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That's my plan. My girlfriend doesn't seem to care about being active at all while I've consistently gone to the gym 3x/week since we met. She's put on some weight and I'm just about to start a cut so we're both a little jiggly right now. I'm hoping if she sees me making progress on my cut that she gets motivated as well.Go nuts with yours and make them jealous0 -
It took almost a year of me going to the gym 6 days a week and often running outside afterwards for my husband to start exercising consistently. I've always been a runner so working out to get him interested in doing the same was never my motivation. He works out of state M-F so we talk on the phone daily. When he would ask me about my day I would tell him I went to the gym and then went running. I also stay home with our four kids. He would always say, "Damn, you're a bad *kitten*," when he'd hear about my day. I never said anything to him about the fact that he was child-free M-F each week, yet could "never find the time" to exercise. I just did my thing and after about 6 months he started saying how inspirational I was. Then a few months later I started noticing when we would talk on the phone he would frequently say he had gone for a hike or was getting up early the next morning to run. This is a long way of saying what others have said: She will either come around and take an interest in it because it's an important part of your life (which we should all try to do for our significant others if something is really important to them), or she won't and you'll have to accept her for who she is (don't drop hints, it will backfire), or decide it's a big enough part of your life that to not have this commonality with her is a deal-breaker...0
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RavenLibra wrote: »in my experience, you can't make anyone do something they don't want to do, becoming a nag? is not the answer... some folks just don't get it... for reasons known only to themselves... don't push your ideals... relationships evolve... some for the better... some for the worse... My wife and I quit smoking together 7 years ago... just last month... she decided that was long enough... she works hard all day... comes home emotionally exhausted... and with heel spurs and plantar's fasciitis... all she can do at the end of the day is put her feet up... I on the other hand... get up at 4 walk the dog, get ready for work... and get home at 6.. .grab my gear and I am off to the gym for up to 2 hours at least twice during the week... and then I hit the gym Saturday AND Sunday...would I like her to participate? of course... but I can't allow her issues to prevent me from doing what is right for me... and I wouldn't stop her from doing what she feels is right for her.
That's a great way of putting it. Nice.0 -
Usually the women that act like that and make comments like that are the ones that end up being unfaithful they are insecure and start turning to thers for validation.... be aware...be warned...Anyone have a significant other that doesn't share the passion for fitness/personal development? Any advice on how to encourage it??
Mine is actually insecure about the prospects of me improving my fitness and my looks, to the point where she's flat out said that she thinks when I get my weight down I'll get a better girlfriend. Her words, not mine. I just do what I can to reassure her. She's literally out of my league physically so I just tell her that the only thing that's going to happen when I lose weight is that we'll match.
As far as encouraging her I just try to incorporate active things we can do with one another. Right now I'm too heavy to run so on the weekends instead of going to the gym and getting on an elliptical or treadmill I go walk. She goes with me and this gives us a couple of hours to hang out together without any distractions and just chat. She can't run because of a back injury but when I do start running I'll probably get her some roller blades or she can just ride her bike. The important thing is to find something that meets your needs for physical exertion that she can share with you so that she starts to associate fitness with time spend together.
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My wife does not and never has been one to work out. She likes to walk, so we do that together occasionally. However, she is supportive of everything I do. From Martial Arts to Soccer to building a weight room in our home.
When I met her, I wasn't looking for a workout partner, I was looking for a mate. She fills that position in my life perfectly.1 -
If this is a new thing you've picked up, I suggest giving her time to get used to it and finding ways to be active together that maybe exist outside of the gym (hiking, rockclimbing, kayaking, etc). I don't see a problem with her not actively changing her routine, but if she continues to be discouraging about it and personal development in general, that is a larger issue.0
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That's my plan. My girlfriend doesn't seem to care about being active at all while I've consistently gone to the gym 3x/week since we met. She's put on some weight and I'm just about to start a cut so we're both a little jiggly right now. I'm hoping if she sees me making progress on my cut that she gets motivated as well.Go nuts with yours and make them jealous
Have you ever considered that she loves either which way, and expects the same in return, and that "making her jealous" might not go down very well?0 -
TheRoadDog wrote: »My wife does not and never has been one to work out. She likes to walk, so we do that together occasionally. However, she is supportive of everything I do. From Martial Arts to Soccer to building a weight room in our home.
When I met her, I wasn't looking for a workout partner, I was looking for a mate. She fills that position in my life perfectly.
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Fit_Kountry_ wrote: »RavenLibra wrote: »in my experience, you can't make anyone do something they don't want to do, becoming a nag? is not the answer... some folks just don't get it... for reasons known only to themselves... don't push your ideals... relationships evolve... some for the better... some for the worse... My wife and I quit smoking together 7 years ago... just last month... she decided that was long enough... she works hard all day... comes home emotionally exhausted... and with heel spurs and plantar's fasciitis... all she can do at the end of the day is put her feet up... I on the other hand... get up at 4 walk the dog, get ready for work... and get home at 6.. .grab my gear and I am off to the gym for up to 2 hours at least twice during the week... and then I hit the gym Saturday AND Sunday...would I like her to participate? of course... but I can't allow her issues to prevent me from doing what is right for me... and I wouldn't stop her from doing what she feels is right for her.
That's a great way of putting it. Nice.
I have plantar fascititis, heel spurs, tendinitis, flat feet, etc and its was very painful (until I stretched it religously for two months while waiting for the subway.) Pain is wearying. Your wife may not have the energy to work out with you.0 -
I love my husband for who he is I didn't stay with him to change him no one should change anyone
Did you meet her as you both are now we're you exercising etc when you meet she not or has one of you changed ? That's the most important question0 -
My girlfriend is absolutely not interested at all in fitness, nutrition, or motivating/encouraging. This is a huge problem considering ive resolved to make fitness an integral part of my life. Anyone have a significant other that doesn't share the passion for fitness/personal development? Any advice on how to encourage it??
So, make fitness an integral part of your life. Either she'll deal or she won't, but either way the problem will solve itself.
Maybe she'll start to look forward to when you're at the gym and she gets some alone time.
Maybe she'll also decide to make fitness an integral part of her life, and you 2 can be swolemates.
Maybe she'll decide that you spend way too much time at the gym and not enough with her and break up.
But as long as you're clear that working out is about you and not her, and that it's non-negotiable .. the rest will just work itself out.0 -
If you would like her to take interest in it as well, is there a way you can make it more fun for her? Such as joining a sport together? How about dancing? Hikes/long walks together? Maybe she will feel more interested if it's an activity you can do together vs. something like going to a gym.0
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Wow I wasn't expecting so many differing responses. I definitely enjoyed looking at the situation from multiple perspectives. Despite the fact that they were differing, they all had some wisdom to them that i certainly took into account.
Fortunately, I didn't have to make her jealous w progress or break up because i spent too much time at the gym. In the end, she surprised me and got a gym membership. Now shes dragging me to spinning classes... But its something fun, challenging, and fitness related we can do together so in the end I'm happy lol0 -
I had a gf at one time that wasn't into fitness as I was....she complained about me going to the gym and being late to things because I stayed in the gym longer than she preferred....we aren't together any longer.
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Wow I wasn't expecting so many differing responses. I definitely enjoyed looking at the situation from multiple perspectives. Despite the fact that they were differing, they all had some wisdom to them that i certainly took into account.
Fortunately, I didn't have to make her jealous w progress or break up because i spent too much time at the gym. In the end, she surprised me and got a gym membership. Now shes dragging me to spinning classes... But its something fun, challenging, and fitness related we can do together so in the end I'm happy lol
Nice!0 -
Honestly, figure out if it is going to be Key or not. My wife does not have the same love or interest in Fitness as I do, but I am OK with that. Fitness is not her thing, but she does not get in my way, she supports me on many levels. Though for some people that is a deal breaker. And maybe your spouse will come around, maybe she will not. I am not sure that what you say will bring her to it, I have a number of friends where they didn't come around.0
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Many women feel that when a man takes part in improving his looks it is to attain the interest of others. Unfortunately, there are too many (of both sexes) that have lost weight and found the attention of others to be too much fun. This in turn has broken up too many relationships. There are 3 people that I work with now who have entered into some type of weight loss (pills, operation or just watching what they ate) and have found themselves in broken relationships. One girl went for the operation just to get the attention of guy that broke up with her. Maybe try going on walks with your girl and bringing a picnic. This will bring out a little romantic side and include her in on the exercise. Little steps may show her there is another side of you that wants to ignite your relationship with her as the benefactor.
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I would feel suffocated if my husband suddenly wanted to join me in the gym
We have an amazing marriage, been together nearly 20 years, kids, dog, general contentment and totally happy
He's loved me fat and thin
My gym habit is less than 2 years old ...but it's mine ...my thing...my peace....my sanctuary
Happy for him to go to the gym...but not when I do
Fortunately he's a cyclist so ne'er the twain shall meet0 -
Wow I wasn't expecting so many differing responses. I definitely enjoyed looking at the situation from multiple perspectives. Despite the fact that they were differing, they all had some wisdom to them that i certainly took into account.
Fortunately, I didn't have to make her jealous w progress or break up because i spent too much time at the gym. In the end, she surprised me and got a gym membership. Now shes dragging me to spinning classes... But its something fun, challenging, and fitness related we can do together so in the end I'm happy lol
Wow she's done a lot in 2 days :bigsmile:
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Wow I wasn't expecting so many differing responses. I definitely enjoyed looking at the situation from multiple perspectives. Despite the fact that they were differing, they all had some wisdom to them that i certainly took into account.
Fortunately, I didn't have to make her jealous w progress or break up because i spent too much time at the gym. In the end, she surprised me and got a gym membership. Now shes dragging me to spinning classes... But its something fun, challenging, and fitness related we can do together so in the end I'm happy lol
Wow she's done a lot in 2 days :bigsmile:
Lol not Really sure how to respond to this. Takes about 30 minutes to sign up at the Y and about 5 to see that they offer cycling classes. Oh and 30 seconds to text me about it Lol maybe I should have made classes singular As we've only been to one together? Haha0 -
This is actually why I'm single. I have yet to find someone who will live a similar lifestyle as myself. It's a huge turn off being told "you're at the gym too much" or "you take this too seriously". Like if you can support me working my *kitten* off, then we don't need to be together. Also the last guy I dated always wanted to eat fast food when I cooked every single day. He would say "I don't want chicken again. I want Taco Bell" no no no. Lol I just rather stay single honestly0
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