Swimsuit Pressure: Girls vs. Boys: Your Opinion

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chanstriste13
chanstriste13 Posts: 3,277 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
i am no where near having what you would call a bikini body, but i recently purchased one to wear at the beach next week anyways. providing i don't chicken out, of course.

i came across an article discussing at what age and weight women should wear or not wear bikinis and it was pretty wild - the restrictions put on overweight women by themselves. the general consensus was that only the beach babe physique should be out in public displaying their near-perfect bellies - all other women, regardless of age, should cover up.

that got me wondering...

is there any type of social standard or expectation for overweight men saying they have to cover up their bellies with a t-shirt? men at the beach are generally 'topless' no matter what, and i see all shapes and sizes of men out wearing their trunks with no shirts on - incredibly hairy men, shaved men, buff men, scrawny men, overweight men...and they all seem to be completely in their element, and no one seems to think a thing about it.

why isn't it this way for women too? or are men just as self-conscious but able to hide it better? what do ya'll think?
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Replies

  • ambie35
    ambie35 Posts: 853 Member
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    very interesting point. Although my boyfriend always wears his t-shirt at the beach. He has a very skinny torso (one of those odd concave ones- although I think its cute) and he is pale so he likes to keep covered.
  • cjjones007
    cjjones007 Posts: 602
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    I miss a tan on my torso from being outside, but I still keep covered up because I'm embarrassed by my looks... One of the goals I have in my mind is the time frame that I've lost enough weight to go outside in just a pair of shorts to mow, or to the pool with just a suit on lol
    Nothing to do with age, for me it's all about the way I look
  • foxxybrown
    foxxybrown Posts: 838 Member
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    I think men are just as self-conscious but only women get scrutinized for baring too much in public.
  • jlewis2896
    jlewis2896 Posts: 763 Member
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    My husband is very self-conscious about his beach body. He used to refuse to wear shorts, even, because he hated his legs so much. I may be slightly biased, but he is smokin' hot, nothing to hide -- and he is more self-conscious than me.

    I have never in my life worn a bikini, and I really never plan on it because that's just me -- hardcore prude. But I think that if someone is confident enough to wear one, go ahead. I might be grossed out by someone's rolls, but to each their own!!

    I will say I don't like little girls in bikinis. Ummmm.... hi.... they have no boobs, what are you trying to cover with those tiny triangles?? Just let 'em go topless!! A bikini is definitely an article of clothing that accentuates sexuality and gender. This old-school gal doesn't approve of toddlers flaunting them.
  • Teeladog
    Teeladog Posts: 157 Member
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    Well...I think that in general, society is less judgmental of men being a little overweight. Not saying that there isn't judgment...just saying that there is a wider range of what is considered acceptable. I also think that women as a general rule are harder on themselves (and on other women) then men are.

    Honestly, the only thing I can't stand is when men wear speedos to the beach. The number of men that can actually pull that off is VERY small and pretty much limited to the olympic swim team. The rule should be no speedos (or speedo-like suits) unless you are actually racing.
  • Solat37_Neil
    Solat37_Neil Posts: 379 Member
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    Same here, very self conscious of my belly and try to avoid going shirtless at all costs.. Going to the local public pool has always been a nightmare, which is sad because I've recently started goin with my daughter and she loves it.
  • indigolafaye
    indigolafaye Posts: 17
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    From a personal point I don't mind who wears Bikini's on the beach I think who cares BUT I wouldn't like doing it, mostly because of a comment a guy made about me once. It doesn't help that due to my disability I am 'deformed' as well but still the comment put me off for life. HOWEVER my boyfriend has a belly on him and he would NEVER take his top off outside the house.
  • angryguy77
    angryguy77 Posts: 836 Member
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    i don't wear a shirt, but I am self conscience about it. I only need to drop about 10 lbs but feel like I should be covered up.
  • stuiedaman
    stuiedaman Posts: 2
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    Hi, just started using this website. I have been using it on my phone but I never knew about the website!

    As a sixteen year old boy, I HATE going to the pool. I can't tell you the last time I've gone to one. Whether its my family going, friends inviting me to go to public pools, or even pools they have at their own houses, I make an excuse and don't go. As a highschooler, there aren't many other kids who are even the slightest overweight. Everyones metabolism is at its peak while I can't eat a single wing without having to worry about calories. It sucks. If I were to ever go to a pool, all that would happen is I would be judged as the fat kid...
  • nylonadmiral
    nylonadmiral Posts: 1
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    I think that women are harder on themselves and on each other than men are, in general. I also think that the standard of beauty in our country is ridiculous and near impossible to achieve. People should just be healthy, whatever their size.

    . There are swimsuits that NO ONE should wear, in my opinion. (speedos for men, thongs for women)
  • 27strange
    27strange Posts: 837 Member
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    I will attest to the fact that men are also self-conscious about the beach body. Maybe not to the full degree of women but its definitely there. Just because you see overweight, beer belly, hairy, scrawny, pale white, etc men all running around on the beach without their shirts on doesn't mean they aren't self-conscious about it. I think more would cover up if it was more acceptable and easier to do so, but honestly wearing a tshirt in the ocean just isnt pleasant plus it sticks to ya when wet making it just as uncomfortable as bearing the top half outright.

    I do agree that society is less judgmental of the male beach body physique than the female. And females are scrutinized way more by both the same sex and opposite sex.
  • basschick
    basschick Posts: 3,502 Member
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    Reminds me of a cartoon I saw once...

    http://s235.photobucket.com/albums/ee69/buxtehudeoma/CARTOONS/?action=view&current=cartoldbeach.jpg&sort=ascending


    I can't speak for all men of course, but my man doesn't like to go around shirtless because he says he doesn't want anyone to see his gut and flabby chest.
  • superhippiechik
    superhippiechik Posts: 1,044 Member
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    I was thinking the same thing the other day. I live in Tx. so there are a lot of other women who wear a bikini and dont care how large they are. I am envious of their confidence. But men,they always go topless and do not give their Moobies a single thought. We all should go topless and let the flab fly. But don't turn around too fast. I don't want to punch anyone with my long boobs! lol
  • SoCalSwimmerDude
    SoCalSwimmerDude Posts: 480 Member
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    I'm a guy and I'm def self-concious, but my wife (who has an amazing body) is more so. While us guys may be worried about it (some more than others), I think women have it worse. For instance, I decided to lose weight because I was becoming the typical "office guy"... you know the type... the type w/ love handles and 15-20 lbs of extra weight around the belly. However, a women at the same point of 15-20 lbs overweight would be seen as... well... overweight. So there is def a slight difference there.
  • NeedANewFocus
    NeedANewFocus Posts: 898 Member
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    I wont speak for all men but I'll admit to having a very self-conscious attitude towards showing my body. I hate it actually. However, I've slowly learned to let that go as I get older so I can somewhat enjoy my time at the beach or pool. I still feel very self-conscious especially when I see guys that are buff and very well built. I feel women might share the same attitude.
  • becksini
    becksini Posts: 17 Member
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    I think that girls can wear a bikini at whatever age, but (I know this is going to sound sooooo wrong) I don't think they should at any weight. If someone overweight is wearing a bikini then I feel awkward standing next to them and I feel like they are embarrassed.... but that's just me! I definitely think its worse to see an overweight woman in a bikini then to see an overweight man in some trunks.
  • Bootzey
    Bootzey Posts: 274 Member
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    It doesn't matter for men. Men of all sizes walk around exposing themselves. But for ladies, we are too self conscious. Well, not all of us. But a lot of us. I have seen some pure foolishness on beaches
  • Hodar
    Hodar Posts: 338 Member
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    As a general rule of thumb;
    Women are overly critical of their bodies, they compare and contrast each other FAR HARSHER than any man. When it comes to trashing a woman in a bikini, no man can come close to being as critical as another woman. Don't take my word on it, just watch the Ms. America pagent during the swimsuit competition. The men sit and stare (drooling is optional) but the women tear every contestent to pieces.

    Men, on the other hand - really don't care how we look in our swimsuits. If we like the way a woman looks in her swimsuit, we stare - if we don't; then we watch something else.
  • ilookthetype
    ilookthetype Posts: 3,021 Member
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    King of Queens perfectly portrays America's attitude on men being over weight vs. women.

    Big hefty guy, itty bitty little hot wife. and when she started gaining weight as the show went on a big deal was made about it.

    I think we associate big guys with strong/protecting/safe and thus exceptions are made.

    Women aren't supposed to be that way. Although, I remember being told as young as 8 that I have 'great birthing hips'.

    I also think the way the weight sits on women vs men makes a difference. often men carry it in like a tight drum on their belly (looking a bit preggers) most women don't carry it that way. I kind of think that matters.

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