It's pink shirt day. Were you bullied at school?

RedLipsRedDress · February 2016

Today is anti-bullying day and I hope we can talk a little about that. If you were bullied at school, how has it affected your life or how did you manage that? What have you taught your children about this problem? I hope you have some thoughts to share.
I'll be honest. I was bullied mostly verbally during middle school. I was already fat,had short hair and I came from a poor family (no fancy clothes and stuff like that). I was a target for many kids at school and sometimes on the streets. It looked to me that everyone was aiming to offend me like they had nothing else to do. My classmates avoided me also because I had the highest grades in every subject. In highschool I had lost a lot of weight and tried to look more feminine with heels, makeup and so on but I was still an outsider because I already didn't know how to make friends and had zero social skills. The emo style was a trend at that time so I embraced it. Nobody dared to bother me anymore.
After 6 years in medical school I can say I'm confident with strangers around me and I can easily engage in conversation. Maybe I'm still geeky but I have a beautiful family and successful career. Yet, sometimes, when I go to sleep, it pops up in my mind. Those boys who doubted my gender, those who would pinch me just to check if fat people can feel pain, those who laughed at my clothes and many many others. My heart starts racing and I feel fear and pain.
What do I have to do so that this won't happen to my kid?
Can anyone relate to my story?

_John_ · February 2016

I was a bit, but I had the ultimate male trump card on the bullies. I was "mr. perfect" in a small town though, and at times was an a-hole about it...

OldManOne · February 2016

I use to beat up the bullies - it was a blast!! No pink shirt though, I'm a guy in black!

_incogNEATo_ · February 2016

Never bullied. A kid called my mom fat one time in the restroom at school trying to bully me when I was the new kid. He'd never seen my mom, but I popped his nose, made it bleed, and left the bathroom. He came back outside to P.E. and didn't tell. We're good friends now.

kchuskey · February 2016

I started martial arts when I was 12. Not only was it good for the mind, but by the time I was 15 or 16, if anybody tried to bully me, I'd hit them so many times they'd think they were surrounded. Fast forward 27 years, and I can barely touch my toes.

phnxrth · February 2016

I got bullied quite a bit in high school. My mom was seriously controlling when I was very young, less so as I got older, and I guess that created some vulnerability in me or something? Bullied some off and on after high school. At some point I hope to really not care what people think, to resist pack mentality, and to become a bit more thick skinned. Tough to try to balance that with remaining sensitive and compassionate.

JustMissTracy · February 2016

I was always smaller than everyone in my class, and very quiet. The bullies saw me a mile away!!
I did get bullied by a few people thru the years. One girl I remember in particular (Joanne), in about grade 5; She was twice my size. She used to send me notes saying she and her gang were gonna "get" me after school. I'd spend the whole day in fear, and at 3pm I was usually in tears, afraid to leave. There were many days where I stayed in the library for an extra hour, just to avoid them. The girls actually did push me around a few times, until my big brother finally came and scared the crap out of them. It was a pretty bad time for me, and looking back, I can still remember how extremely terrified I was of these girls. Now, my granddaughter is 6, and tells me about a girl at school who punches her in the stomach when the teacher isn't looking. The teacher won't let Kodi tell, as she calls it "tattling". I'm ready to go and do what my big brother did. Hand that rocked the cradle had NOTHING on this Gramma.

[edited by MFP Moderator]

JustMissTracy · February 2016

CircumcisedCokeCan wrote: »

got bullied same as anybody else when i was younger. my pops told me one time that i could either stand up and fight the bullies or i could fight him and learn the hard way. started fighting back instead and don't really regret it. i got beat up and beat other kids up. i started "bullying" too from time to time. it happens. i wouldn't change any of it.

as a guy, i think its something you just have to learn or else you grow up to be the same and get pushed around all the time. always going to be people looking to take something from you if you let them, no matter how old you get. wearing a shirt won't change that.

Same for us women....I heard it said about abuse, violence, bullying...When the victims get older, most of the men become warriors....and the women become worriers. Much truth to that.

singingflutelady · February 2016

Yes as a student and even when I was an elementary teacher. The bullies like to try to bully the female staff.

Tigg_er · February 2016

Just Once !

sadiebrawl · February 2016

I was a bit. I also got spit on, and cornered on a bus once. they were always due to girls picking on me because I was "dating" a boy they liked. So, I ended up being rumored a slut, and I was quite the opposite. I've only had 3 partners my entire life, so it was a bummer having that rumor. I think boys liked me because I was down to earth, liked sports and video games, and didn't pressure them into fooling around. Go figure.

WickedPineapple · February 2016

I was verbally bullied in grade/middle school for being fat (even though I wasn't particularly fat at the time, I was just less athletic than the rest of the class), being pale, and having bad skin. I also wasn't into the same things they were (basketball), so I think that made me a target. I was also quiet and small, so that probably didn't help. The bullying stopped in high school, I think because my attitude changed and I gained some self-confidence/love. I went from just ignoring them to dumping someone twice my size out of a desk. I still made friends, I just didn't put up with any BS anymore.

I'm still sensitive to that kind of behavior (I actually find it even more disconcerting in adults), though it rarely happens because of my default death stare. I was yelled at by a guy last week and it threw me off for the rest of the day (it sets off my anxiety), but I let it go because he was an a'hole and some people are just looking for an excuse to be like that.

You can't really prevent your child from being bullied anymore than you can prevent running into a'holes as an adult. All you can do is prepare them for what's out there. You can raise someone who stands up for themselves. So independence, self-confidence, and sympathy are good qualities to encourage to help defend themselves from bullies (and not become one themselves).

CassidyScaglione · February 2016

The only time I was, we'd moved in next to a playground and the kids had all decided since i was the new kid i was fair game... I stood on someone until they decided otherwise... end of that.

GiddyupTim · February 2016

Never bullied. (Unless you consider one, two-week period in second grade when a pair of sixth graders used to wait for me to walk home so they could push me in the bushes. Incredibly annoying, more than anything.) Bullying is not the normal way of things. Which means, we really could do something more about it if we tried.

Just_J_Now · February 2016

I wasn't bullied at school but was bullied in my neighborhood and I was afraid to go outside, like a fat little punk. My mom took care of that. She kicked the bully's mom's a$s for raising a pieceofshIt kid. Never had a problem again.

beagletracks · February 2016

I was bullied a little bit, but it never really stuck because I wasn't a good target -- bigger worries than pesky little seventh graders calling me a freak, witch, lesbian. There was some semi-scary bullying I vaguely recall when I was in 5th grade and played the cello. My brother was beaten up a lot and suffered quite a bit of harassment for being gay when we were in school.

TheRoadDog · February 2016

I got bullied a bit, because I had red hair and freckles. Until the 8th grade. I was playing softball during gym class and was up to bat. The guy that was always bullying me with his friends was the catcher for the other team. I took the opportunity to turn around and hit him across the face with the bat. Shocked everyone and got me suspended, but, when I came back to school he and his friends left me alone. That was the last time I was ever bullied.

It's pink shirt day. Were you bullied at school?

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