Kids say the funniest things...

When my youngest daughter was about 4 or 5 years old, we went to Chicago for a family reunion. We are from a small midwestern town so this was really BIG for our kids. We arrived at our hotel. A man and woman in front of us had ridden their motorcycles to the hotel. They checked in, decked out in black leather. We ended up in the elevator together. As we were riding up to our rooms, Emma broke out in song..." Bad boys, bad boys, what cha gonna do? What cha gonna do when they come for you?" It was a really awkward moment for us. Fortunately, they smiled.

When my older daughter, now 13, was around 5, we were once again visiting a larger city than our child was used to. Walking around in a Walmart, we crossed paths with a large teen wearing chains and a bandana across his head. My girl cheerfully said (very loudly), "Look, mom, ...a pirate!"

Driving through the country one day, I heard my 3 year old son in the backseat erupt into giggles. I asked what was so funny, and after several tries, he finally gasped out, "I saw a dalmation............COOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!"

The same day, my 4.5 year old daughter asked, as we were crossing a rural bridge, "why do they think we CARE how much that bridge weighs?"

When my sister was 3-4 she was making us late because she wouldn't put on her shoes. Here's what ensued

Dad: Courtney, go get your shoes on
Courtney- runs down the hall to her room, runs back sans shoes
Dad: Courtney, GO GET YOUR SHOES ON
Courtney- runs down the hall to her room, runs back sans shoes
Dad: Courtney, GO GET YOUR GOD D@MN SHOES ON!!!
Courtney- runs down the hall to her room, runs back sans shoes and says, in her little innocent cute voice...."But daddyyyyy I tan't find my dod dwamn tshoesssss"

Pure hilarity

When my 9 yr old was about 2, he came into my room one morning. It was a weekend and I was taking advantage of sleeping in when he came marching in with his sippy cup. He wanted me to make him some Ovaltine chocolate milk. I kept putting it off, and the more I put it off the more agitated he got. Finally he puts the sippy right in front of my face and says..."IM STARVING HALF-N-DEAF!!" I just dissolved in giggles and to this day I still say that! lol

The same child when he was about 4. I was in the bathroom, and the boys know, if the bathroom door is closed..they are not to knock on the door, yell through the door, stick things under the door, etc...Well, I was sitting on the toilet (and the door wasn't quite shut) when Nick came in...armed and dangerous w/ fully loaded squirt guns (one for each hand) and proceeded with a full out water assault on his poor defenseless mom. Seriously?? He was laughing away and I was not very happy! Who does things like that? My son apparently!!

When my 13 yr. old was about 3, he and my dh were wrestling around on the bed. Colt had bumped his head and just left the room. No tears, no anything. About 5 mins later, he appeared at our doorway. I was working on the computer and I looked up and saw my son standing there with a panty liner across his forehead. I just about died laughing...it was so funny! And for about a week after that, any time he got hurt...on went a panty liner. He had them on his chin, his cheek, his legs, the bottoms of his feet, his arms, and his elbows.

When my 17 yr old was about 7, we had a bad storm. The tornado sirens went off and we all headed down to the basement. Of course it was then the kids discovered that we didn't take any animals with us and they were rather upset about that. Soooo..we brought in the rabbits from outside (about 5), the hamsters (2), the dog, and cats (2) all ended up in the basement. After a few tense moments....Josh looks around and says, "Well.....at least we're at the top of the food chain!" We still talk about that to this day as well

Same 17 yr old boy (8 at the time). I was downstairs when I thought I saw something swinging outside of the d/s windows. Then I saw it again...it looked like a rope or something. What on earth? Then it dawned on me it must have been coming from Justin and Josh's bedroom window! I go running upstairs only to find that Josh had cut huge holes in both window screens. He then had tied pieces of cloth together to make a rope. One end was hanging out the window, the other end was draped around his bedpost. Not tied in a knot, just draped. Im convinced that if I hadn't caught him, he would have tried to shimmy out the 2nd story window on his "rope." E-gads! The joys of having all boys! :explode: :grumble: :noway:

When my stepson was younger (about 8), he and DH and I were taking a walk around the neighborhood - it was Big Trash day, which meant there were lots of "goodies" curbside to poke into. It got to the point where D (stepson) was doing more poking into than walking, so DH tried to hurry him along. "But Dad," he said, very seriously, "one man's trash is another man's treasure, and I'm that man!"

My brother has three boys, all under age 5. The middle one is just about 3 and loves to Skype with his grandparents. My brother got tired of him asking where Grandma and Grandpa were (on the computer), so he taught his son to ask "Where are the old farts?"

My son was almost 3 and he came in the bathroom as i was getting out of the shower. He had never said anything about our bodies being different or even seemed to take notice, but for some reason that day, he "noticed" me. He looked up at me nearly in tears and said with great concern..."Oh, Mama, You're broken!!!" Took everything I had not to fall over laughing. I covered up and tried to explain things in an age appropriate manner and after that tried to keep him out of the bathroom.......:blushing:

When my 17 yr old was about 7, we had a bad storm. The tornado sirens went off and we all headed down to the basement. Of course it was then the kids discovered that we didn't take any animals with us and they were rather upset about that. Soooo..we brought in the rabbits from outside (about 5), the hamsters (2), the dog, and cats (2) all ended up in the basement. After a few tense moments....Josh looks around and says, "Well.....at least we're at the top of the food chain!" We still talk about that to this day as well

I LOVE THIS!

every new year's we go to our best friend's house to celebrate. a bunch of us end up spending the night because we've all been drinking. a couple of years ago when her oldest son was 5, the very first thing i hear in the new year when i woke up that morning was him yelling "guuys, guuys, where are my pants?! i have to go to the bathroom and i can't find my pants!!"
my husband and i both lost it. the pants were eventually found.

The other day I was in my room laying down and hear from down the hall:

Isaiah, 9 Noah, 4


Isaiah: Mock
Noah: Yeah
Isaiah: Ing
Noah: Yeah
Isaiah: Bird
Noah: Yeah
Isaiah: Yeah
Noah: Yeah

***apparently my husband let them watch Dumb & Dumber and they have been repeating lines every chance they get****


then I was sick and my sons tells me...."pills are good" also from Dumb & Dumber LOL!!

This past Thankgiving my 5 yro son met his 11 month old cousin for the first time. Dispite being told repeatedly that his cousin was a girl he was unconvenced.

My Son (to his Aunt): Baby H is a girl, right?

Aunt: Yes baby H is a girl.

My Son: Are you sure?

Aunt: Yes I am sure.

My Son: Did you check to see if Baby H has a vagina?


Very funny stuff. Of course the adults present freaking out over a 5 yro knowing the word vagina was even more priceless.