How often do u think about being fat? Like I think of my weight every time I'm in a room with people

My weight has practically ruled the way I think about myself and the way I interact with others for years now. I used to avoid socializing and would go out of my way not to exercise in public because I was worried about how I looked to other people, but thankfully that's eased off a little now.

I've had this happen to me many times. I seem to always realize when I am the biggest person in the room / area. Then I start becoming paranoid and conscience about it. Then it sometimes effects my confidence as well, I stay quiet, etc. because I don't want people looking at me...and realize too I am the biggest in the room. It is really frustrating.

I've actually had people comment (in restraunts) about the "fat lady eating a salad- too late for her now." When this happens, I tell them what I think ie: none of their effing business, they are not paying my way/ticket, eff off. Other than that, I occasionally think about it, mainly when it's a booth or cramped sitting space that I feel squeezed into. The rest of the time, I'm more focused on conversation or enjoying my food.

Yeah I think about this a lot. People treat you a lot different too - you can tell and people are more inclined to make remarks assuming you're dumb as well. And skinny people easily assume you know nothing about eating heathy or exercising when fat but when you're your former skinny self people are "inspired" by your passion. From being skinny and becoming fat due to depression and medication I feel like I can really tell. Guys too are less likely to just be normal and more likely to be jerks or standoffish until they realize that, for myself, I'm a lesbian. As if they're worried the fat chick will like them or something until they realize the fat chick doesn't give a rats *kitten* about them.

I also don't clothes shop for this reason. Nor do I keep in contact with people who knew me before the weight gain - I don't want them to see me again and just remark afterwards on my weight. /sigh.

I do the same although I'm getting better at controlling those thoughts. Think of your friends and family, do you immediately think of their size and shape? No you think of their smiling faces and how they make you feel. Anyone worth knowing only cares what's on the inside

Rdsgoal16 wrote: »

When I walk into body combat class and 95% of the people in there are at ideal bmi I start to think about it....then the music starts and I just try to make it through.

When I first started MMA, I felt exactly this way. Then I dropped 25 lbs and now other people look at me the way I used to look at the really fit people. Quite a change, even though (ironically) I'm not yet at ideal BMI.

rileysowner wrote: »

JHALLISGETTINGsmall wrote: »

If I'm at work sitting in a meeting, I'm thinking about how I'm fatter than most in the room. Right now I'm out eating lunch I am thinking how fat I am compared to others in here. How often do people think about it? Am I weird ? I wonder if people are thinking about how fat I am. Or if I disgust them ?

Most people think in a similar pattern to what you do, that is, they think about how they compare to everyone else around them. They do this not look at others and think about them, but look at themselves and see whatever they consider their shortcomings. Due to that, they rarely if ever consider how fat you are, and if they do, it is highly unlikely you disgust them.

^^^^ This. Other people are not worried about you. They are thinking about themselves. They are worried about their insecurities.

This part of why confident people who smile, are kind, and engage with others are more successful. They make people feel better about themselves.

If you are a reader, look up a book called "How to win friends and influence people". The author covers this discussion in detail.

You're not weird - You are human, just like the rest of us!

Lounmoun wrote: »

I don't really have a sense of myself being fat... even when I crossed the line into obese. When I looked in a mirror or at pictures of myself I was always kind of surprised because that wasn't my mind picture of myself. I think about being shorter than people more than my weight.
I thought about other people's weight negatively more when I hated myself. When I got more positive I would be thinking their hair looked good or they had a nice smile or I liked their outfit instead.

I agree there. Last night while doing a before and during picture I was quite surprised at the before picture because I was oblivious that I had gotten so fat. I knew when I took the picture I hated how it looked and that was after I lost about ten pounds but comparing it with the 30 lbs lost picture was definitely an eyeopener.

My body thoughts tend to focus on jealousy. "I wish I could look like her." "Why do I have to be the fat one? Why can't I be a thin person like [insert name here]?" I always want what I don't have. It's very difficult for me to think about what I DO have, and what's good in my life. But that's life with mental illness (I'm bipolar). I've tried many times to work on these issues with therapists, but it's so hard-wired into my brain to compare myself to others that it's almost impossible to break the pattern. My go-to thought right now, when I'm confronted with the body jealousy, is to tell myself, "OK, I'm not where I want to be right now, but I'M WORKING ON IT!"

If you are sitting in a boring meeting, most likely your coworkers are bored to tears and are NOT thinking about anything else other than is it time to go home already! Also, most people are too caught up in their own lives to give a random thought about a coworker.

Just my 2-cents. Its free ya know.