How often do u think about being fat? Like I think of my weight every time I'm in a room with people

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Replies

  • Kullerva
    Kullerva Posts: 1,114 Member
    Rdsgoal16 wrote: »
    When I walk into body combat class and 95% of the people in there are at ideal bmi I start to think about it....then the music starts and I just try to make it through.

    When I first started MMA, I felt exactly this way. Then I dropped 25 lbs and now other people look at me the way I used to look at the really fit people. Quite a change, even though (ironically) I'm not yet at ideal BMI.
  • rileysowner
    rileysowner Posts: 8,327 Member
    If I'm at work sitting in a meeting, I'm thinking about how I'm fatter than most in the room. Right now I'm out eating lunch I am thinking how fat I am compared to others in here. How often do people think about it? Am I weird ? I wonder if people are thinking about how fat I am. Or if I disgust them ?

    Most people think in a similar pattern to what you do, that is, they think about how they compare to everyone else around them. They do this not look at others and think about them, but look at themselves and see whatever they consider their shortcomings. Due to that, they rarely if ever consider how fat you are, and if they do, it is highly unlikely you disgust them.
  • codygish
    codygish Posts: 63 Member
    If I'm at work sitting in a meeting, I'm thinking about how I'm fatter than most in the room. Right now I'm out eating lunch I am thinking how fat I am compared to others in here. How often do people think about it? Am I weird ? I wonder if people are thinking about how fat I am. Or if I disgust them ?

    Most people think in a similar pattern to what you do, that is, they think about how they compare to everyone else around them. They do this not look at others and think about them, but look at themselves and see whatever they consider their shortcomings. Due to that, they rarely if ever consider how fat you are, and if they do, it is highly unlikely you disgust them.

    ^^^^ This. Other people are not worried about you. They are thinking about themselves. They are worried about their insecurities.

    This part of why confident people who smile, are kind, and engage with others are more successful. They make people feel better about themselves.

    If you are a reader, look up a book called "How to win friends and influence people". The author covers this discussion in detail.

    You're not weird - You are human, just like the rest of us! :smile:
  • JHALLISGETTINGsmall
    JHALLISGETTINGsmall Posts: 54 Member
    Yeah I think about this a lot. People treat you a lot different too - you can tell and people are more inclined to make remarks assuming you're dumb as well. And skinny people easily assume you know nothing about eating heathy or exercising when fat but when you're your former skinny self people are "inspired" by your passion. From being skinny and becoming fat due to depression and medication I feel like I can really tell. Guys too are less likely to just be normal and more likely to be jerks or standoffish until they realize that, for myself, I'm a lesbian. As if they're worried the fat chick will like them or something until they realize the fat chick doesn't give a rats *kitten* about them.

    I also don't clothes shop for this reason. Nor do I keep in contact with people who knew me before the weight gain - I don't want them to see me again and just remark afterwards on my weight. /sigh.

    HA! I love this! I am a lesbian too. Its like I have felt the exact same way about guys... Its like i wonder if i was hotter to them -would they have held the door for me or something. TBH i don't even care but it still something I think about. Sometimes I do think that people tend to think overweight people are also uneducated. I have a masters degree and two bachelors degrees! Its just like -Come on! but sometimes I do feel that society makes that assumption. Im working on me!
  • luvleephilly
    luvleephilly Posts: 41 Member
    Lounmoun wrote: »
    I don't really have a sense of myself being fat... even when I crossed the line into obese. When I looked in a mirror or at pictures of myself I was always kind of surprised because that wasn't my mind picture of myself. I think about being shorter than people more than my weight.
    I thought about other people's weight negatively more when I hated myself. When I got more positive I would be thinking their hair looked good or they had a nice smile or I liked their outfit instead.

    I agree there. Last night while doing a before and during picture I was quite surprised at the before picture because I was oblivious that I had gotten so fat. I knew when I took the picture I hated how it looked and that was after I lost about ten pounds but comparing it with the 30 lbs lost picture was definitely an eyeopener.
  • azulvioleta6
    azulvioleta6 Posts: 4,195 Member
    I think it is a bit strange in that you are imagining yourself as the center of the universe. Of course most of the time, other people are so wrapped up in their own thoughts/worries/dramas that they really aren't going to be noticing you much at all.
  • RespectTheKitty
    RespectTheKitty Posts: 1,667 Member
    My body thoughts tend to focus on jealousy. "I wish I could look like her." "Why do I have to be the fat one? Why can't I be a thin person like [insert name here]?" I always want what I don't have. It's very difficult for me to think about what I DO have, and what's good in my life. But that's life with mental illness (I'm bipolar). I've tried many times to work on these issues with therapists, but it's so hard-wired into my brain to compare myself to others that it's almost impossible to break the pattern. My go-to thought right now, when I'm confronted with the body jealousy, is to tell myself, "OK, I'm not where I want to be right now, but I'M WORKING ON IT!"
  • Tyler2020Mike
    Tyler2020Mike Posts: 53 Member
    If I'm at work sitting in a meeting, I'm thinking about how I'm fatter than most in the room. Right now I'm out eating lunch I am thinking how fat I am compared to others in here. How often do people think about it? Am I weird ? I wonder if people are thinking about how fat I am. Or if I disgust them ?

    No, you're not weird. Just about everyone compares themselves to others, it's one of the main reasons most of us know when we're "dropping the ball," or "fitting in." I do it from time to time, followed with the tugging of my shirt.
  • allaboutthecake
    allaboutthecake Posts: 1,535 Member
    If you are sitting in a boring meeting, most likely your coworkers are bored to tears and are NOT thinking about anything else other than is it time to go home already! Also, most people are too caught up in their own lives to give a random thought about a coworker.

    Just my 2-cents. Its free ya know. :)
  • kommodevaran
    kommodevaran Posts: 17,890 Member
    I used to think about how fat I was (and I admit I was a little disgusted too) when I dressed, and whenever fat body parts touched other fat body parts. Walking uphill was more distressing than exhausting, and buying clothes traumatic.
  • Onamissionforfit
    Onamissionforfit Posts: 90 Member
    I do this too. You can't worry about what others think. This is for you. You have to love yourself.
  • mustangEvie
    mustangEvie Posts: 39 Member
    I think about it far too often. More so when others are around but even when I'm alone. I tend to think about how much space I take up, for instance… I'm sitting on a chair in a room all by myself and I think about how much space there is between me and the armrest.
  • jillian909
    jillian909 Posts: 31 Member
    I do the same. I work in a small department with two other women that guys ALWAYS hit on. It can be pretty discouraging on some days. If I'm honest, sometimes I'm like, "Whatever, I'm awesome". Other times I'm like, "This must be what the Hulk feels like".

    It's strange because I know I'm not that much bigger than them, but being overweight can really mess with your body image, self esteem, confidence... you name it. It's definitely good to have a support system. What helps me is knowing that we ALL have struggles and are working to overcome them. While my weight bothers me, something else in my life may be going perfectly that my co-workers wish was happening in their life.

    Focus on the positive changes you've decided to make and be proud of yourself! Everything is a process.
  • srujana_kanneganti
    srujana_kanneganti Posts: 63 Member
    When I was fat, I never thought about it...like ever. I was just me, loving my life, happy as I was(until my knees started hurting and I knew I had to lose weight).

    Now that I've lost weight, it's all I think about - how much I've lost...how small I am now compared to everybody else...how much I've learned... I've been in maintenance for 19 months and I'm starting to think I'll always be a person who lost a third of my body.

    I also obsess more over my weight after taking control of it. Weird.
  • samanthachen
    samanthachen Posts: 360 Member
    I do. Mine presents more in the way of "I know I don't look great at this moment, but I wish these strangers KNEW how hard I was working to get fit and lose weight. I wish they knew that I've already lost 35 lbs. I know I'm still overweight, but I'm smaller. I'M SMALLER!" haha It's sad but true. I was just thinking about this today.

    The other one that gets me is when I'm eating something "unhealthy," and I feel judged. People don't know that I paid for those calories. I either planned on having it and prepared, or I fit it into my diary without going over.

    GOSH!

    It's not healthy. I am learning to get beyond that. It's not easy though.
  • embear2
    embear2 Posts: 31 Member
    As a person who has spent there life yo yo dieting I constantly think about how I look. I really dislike myself when I put weight on, but love how I look when I lose it. I just can't seem to stay slim. It's a battle I seem to always fight. I'm back losing now, and determined this time when I reach my goal to stay using mfp to keep on top of things. Also I usually am obsessed with the gym, and go over board, this time I'm being more realistic and walking more instead.
  • Evilmuffin666
    Evilmuffin666 Posts: 132 Member
    I went to my first Zumba class two days ago. It was so discouraging. I was definitely one of the oldest and largest one there. Plus the fact that I have absolutely no coordination doesn't help. All I could think of was that somehow someone was videoing it and it was gonna end up on YouTube of the old fat lady doing Zumba. I considered not going back next week, but then I let others control my life and that isn't gonna happen. The only thing that kept me going is the fact that they have no idea of the reason why I am the size I am. From injuries and medications I have been on for the past 13 years, I have slowly gained 50 pounds. I did 30 years in the Army and deployed 4 times overseas, twice to Afghanistan. So if they are judging me for my size, I just have to think that they haven't gone through half the crap I have or seen. It's what I have to do to get through it.
  • JHALLISGETTINGsmall
    JHALLISGETTINGsmall Posts: 54 Member
    I went to my first Zumba class two days ago. It was so discouraging. I was definitely one of the oldest and largest one there. Plus the fact that I have absolutely no coordination doesn't help. All I could think of was that somehow someone was videoing it and it was gonna end up on YouTube of the old fat lady doing Zumba. I considered not going back next week, but then I let others control my life and that isn't gonna happen. The only thing that kept me going is the fact that they have no idea of the reason why I am the size I am. From injuries and medications I have been on for the past 13 years, I have slowly gained 50 pounds. I did 30 years in the Army and deployed 4 times overseas, twice to Afghanistan. So if they are judging me for my size, I just have to think that they haven't gone through half the crap I have or seen. It's what I have to do to get through it.

    This is so me. I have never gone to the classes for this reason- no coordination And don't want to be the biggest there.
  • kommodevaran
    kommodevaran Posts: 17,890 Member
    I went to my first Zumba class two days ago. It was so discouraging. I was definitely one of the oldest and largest one there. Plus the fact that I have absolutely no coordination doesn't help. All I could think of was that somehow someone was videoing it and it was gonna end up on YouTube of the old fat lady doing Zumba. I considered not going back next week, but then I let others control my life and that isn't gonna happen. The only thing that kept me going is the fact that they have no idea of the reason why I am the size I am. From injuries and medications I have been on for the past 13 years, I have slowly gained 50 pounds. I did 30 years in the Army and deployed 4 times overseas, twice to Afghanistan. So if they are judging me for my size, I just have to think that they haven't gone through half the crap I have or seen. It's what I have to do to get through it.

    I hear you have a lot on your mind. Do you have someone you can talk to about your feelings?
  • 123stefania
    123stefania Posts: 167 Member
    OFTEN...right now its when I seat....I have a big tire that goes over my belt :( I am wearing more legging lately because of that...
  • rankinsect
    rankinsect Posts: 2,238 Member
    Not very often. Airplanes used to be a rude wakeup (at 320 lb, it's hard to not be aware that you're not only packed in like a sardine, but encroaching on the seat next to you as well). I was a lot more self-conscious as a child, but as an adult I grew out of that.
  • TrishAndGirls
    TrishAndGirls Posts: 42 Member
    all the time. :-( I've got 3 little girls and they are my world but I am most embarrassed when I am with them, because I feel so fat and bad that they have a mom like me...so big and unable to play much or pick them up much...

    when I am working, I think about it all the time too... I think about people who look at me, they don't say anything but I know what they are thinking... this feeling is so awful....

    we just gotta keep are heads up and keep on pushing. we can do this!
  • TrishAndGirls
    TrishAndGirls Posts: 42 Member
    any one on here feel free to friend me!
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  • fastfoodietofitcutie
    fastfoodietofitcutie Posts: 523 Member
    Every second of every minute of every day.
  • LiveLoveRunFar
    LiveLoveRunFar Posts: 176 Member
    When I was obese I did. Its our minds telling us we need to do something about it. Now that the weight is gone, obviously I don't but I also don't think about other people around me being "too big, too fat, etc". So people are not thinking that about you, its just your inner voice telling you to get healthy.
  • zyxst
    zyxst Posts: 9,149 Member
    Most of the time when I'm out where people can see me. Yeah, I lost a lot of weight, but I'm still pretty fat. I've accepted the only way for me to look the way I want so I can feel "attractive" is to pay for surgery which is impossible. I do notice other people's weight, usually comparing how I used to look to them. The rest of the time, I'm wishing I could go back to eating for pure enjoyment.
  • arditarose
    arditarose Posts: 15,573 Member
    When I was fat I thought about my weight and size every. single. day.

    I still do though. It's just different now because since I'm in a healthy weight range and focusing on performance and body composition goals.
  • ironhajee
    ironhajee Posts: 384 Member
    Every person in the room is thinking something of uncertainty or yearning for something else.

    The skinny guy is thinking "I wish I was bigger"

    The big guy is saying "I wish I was smaller"

    The guy with a beautiful Mercedes is looking at the parking lot saying "I wish the Ferrari was mine"

    The guy running a 3hr marathon is saying " I wish I could run a 2hr marathon"


    The grass is always greener on the other side.


    Be happy. Be patient. Be focussed. What ever the mind can believe the mind can achieve. Those who say they CAN and those who say they CAN'T are both usually right....

  • shiloheurydice
    shiloheurydice Posts: 8 Member
    I think about my weight constantly but thats because I have an eating disorder. If thoughts about your weight become intrusive or obsessive, see professional help. Eating disorders are mental illnesses and not physical ones and you can develop them at any weight and it starts with an obsession. Look after yourself.