Swimsuit Pressure: Girls vs. Boys: Your Opinion

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Replies

  • tladame
    tladame Posts: 465 Member
    Interesting responses. My husband and I are both self-conscious of the way we look in swimwear, yet we think each other looks hot! Go figure.

    I love going places like the Disney water parks in Florida, where there are a lot of Eurpoean visitors. You'll see lots of men and boys wearing speedos, and women of all sizes in bikinis, and NOBODY cares! It's the first time my husband felt comfortable enough to take his shirt off in public. So we donned our suits and strutted our respective stuff! =)

    I will wear a 2-piece, but the bottoms need coverage. I love the boy shorts.
  • Frankenbarbie01
    Frankenbarbie01 Posts: 432 Member
    -but i have never known what it's like to have the water touch my stomach skin or really feel a breeze on my back.-
    =(
    That makes me sad!!
    We just got back from mexico in Feb. I wore a bright yellow string number 2 pc!! At 189lbs and 5`7`, at 42 yrs old and felt like a Goddess!!! It was WELL outside my comfort zone but I am thrilled I did it and will never buy another 1 pc unless its for swimming laps.
    NOBODY CARES!!!!
    They are at the beach pool where ever to have fun themselves, not to scrutinize others. Adopt a more european attitude and relax, have fun and feel beautiful.
  • freerange
    freerange Posts: 1,722 Member
    As a man, my answer is, there should be. I really don’t care to be bombarded by fat bellies hanging out all over the place, not to mention the rest of them, man or women, have some respect please. I don’t go without a t-shirt because I think it’s uncalled for. If you have the body that is one thing, if not, please cover it up. I have always said there should be a weight limit on spandex and swimsuits .
  • emilymiesel
    emilymiesel Posts: 207 Member
    I feel at times I shouldn't sport a bikini at 5'4 140lbs (maybe less I won't step on the scale)...I get little rolls depending how I sit but I learn to love what I got and just because someone is skinnier than me I shouldn't be self conscious. Because they are taller/shorter basically a totally different build than I am.

    My husband tells me I am WAY critical of how I look. I see myself as chubby and he says skinny. I guess since I got my boobs done it makes me strive to have the "perfect" body to match my "perfect" boobs...

    I think there should be a limit on women wearing string bikinis to a point...BUT at the same time if you feel hot then rock it! And don't let someone else take away your glow! I personally could care less what another person is wearing because it's them who has to walk around how they are (men and women).
  • Alison__
    Alison__ Posts: 107
    it's mainly only a US issue with the whole "modesty" thing. everywhere else around the world the bodies of everybody, any size, are being flaunted and displayed.

    be proud of what you've got!

    I live in Sweden, in Scandinavia, and I have to say that the problems exist here as well. I've never been in the US so I can't compare them, but we do have problems here as well; both girls, boys, women and men who hates going to the beach and to show their bodies in front of people. It's sad, it really is.
  • Elizabeth_C34
    Elizabeth_C34 Posts: 6,376 Member
    Men who go to Miami Beach down here have no problem with their huge hairy bellies hanging over their speedos. I, however, do. Just not attractive.

    My husband is very pale and wears a Tshirt to protect his skin at the beach.

    As for me, I am comfortable in an attractive one piece. I like to be able to move around and not worry about my top falling off or my butt hanging out. I also believe in modesty and find that most bikinis are more revealing than bras and panties. I don't find a teeny string bikini on anyone attractive.
  • Eskimopie
    Eskimopie Posts: 235 Member
    I think women are much more harshly judged and thus feel more pressure about bikinis. We aren't inherently more self-critical or more likely to tear other women down, we are raised in a society that tells us we are in constant competition with each other and we react accordingly. And anyone who says men shouldn't wear speedos has obviously never watched a swimming competition...

    That said, the pressure on men to fit a muscular ideal is growing and maybe even match the pressure on women someday. It seems that as a society we are becoming more and more image obsessed.

    I like to counter it by wearing a bikini and displaying all my blindingly white skin. :) For about ten minutes. Then I retreat under an umbrella and reapply sunscreen and cover myself up to avoid skin cancer.
  • cartern1
    cartern1 Posts: 270 Member
    I went to the local swimming pool last weekend.

    The first time I've used a public pool in 10 years all because I felt to self conscious.

    After loosing around 29kg (64lbs) I decided that might be able to get away with it but I still felt awkward and self aware whilst walking from the changing room to the pool. I plan to go later this week if I can go thru the walk of shame again.

    Nik
  • LorinaLynn
    LorinaLynn Posts: 13,247 Member
    The way I look at it... everyone knows what bodies look like. Skinny bodies, fit bodies, chunky bodies, bigger than chunky bodies... we've seen them all. No one is going to see something they've never seen before. Wear what you feel good in.

    If you're at the beach or a public pool, you gotta expect that not everyone there is going to be the next cover model for a fitness magazine. The people who mind don't matter and the people who matter don't mind.

    People who are shallow about someone overweight are going to be shallow whether you have a shirt on or not, whether you wear a 2-piece or a one piece with a skirt. You're not there for them.

    And really, our bodies are just the vehicle to get us through life. We're all here because we want those vehicles to be in tiptop shape, but life doesn't begin and end with six pack abs. Enjoy yourself.
  • tmarie2715
    tmarie2715 Posts: 1,111 Member
    Maybe it is just my narrow experience, but I think guys are self conscious of very different things. 6' tall, 175lb very in shape SO won't go shirtless when he runs several miles every AM OR to pool or beach because he has very pale skin. Guys who are too skinny also seem to be self-conscious of taking off their clothes on the beach.

    Girls are always worried they are too fat, but I don't hear many complaints or people ragging on women for being too thin, too pale, etc.
  • LorinaLynn
    LorinaLynn Posts: 13,247 Member
    I used to hear that I was too pale. And I say, "neener neener" to those people now, because I'm 39 and still get carded sometimes. :laugh:
  • chanstriste13
    chanstriste13 Posts: 3,277 Member
    UPDATE:

    i've since bought my own bikini and have worn it to a public pool twice now. it is *seriously* the healthiest thing i have ever done for myself. ever. for those of you that want to don a bathing suit but are too nervous or afraid or self-debasing, you should totally go for it. no joke. best thing i've ever done for myself. (have i said that already?) :tongue:

    see my blog about it here:
    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/blog/chanstriste13/view/triumph-over-a-diseased-mind-i-ve-never-felt-better-116441

    you are beautiful, people! go shine! :flowerforyou:
  • jmgj27
    jmgj27 Posts: 531 Member
    it's mainly only a US issue with the whole "modesty" thing. everywhere else around the world the bodies of everybody, any size, are being flaunted and displayed.

    be proud of what you've got!

    Oooo - have to disagree with this one! I'm from the UK and people are VICIOUS if you try to wear a bikini when you're bigger than a size 8. True - Europe is a lot freer in general (think German men nude in all their, um, hairy, big-bellied glory!) but in the UK - no way! I'm a size 12 and I would totally get *kitten* for wearing a bikini in public even though I think it looks fine (not great but fine).
  • Jdismybug1
    Jdismybug1 Posts: 443 Member
    I'd be lucky if I got my fiance to go to the beach, let alone take his shirt off. For him, he just doesn't like the beach...lol. Otherwise he doesn't seem to care he's a tad overweight, but walks inside outside in a wife beater all the time. Company or not he doesn't care...lol
  • TK421NotAtPost
    TK421NotAtPost Posts: 512 Member
    There is definitely somewhat of a double-standard when it comes to what is acceptable/not embarrassing when donning swim-wear. But it would be a shame for anyone to not be able to fully enjoy him/herself at a pool or beach out of self-consciousness......

    Just keep telling yourself people will hardly notice you and generally do not care. I sure as heck don't! In fact, the person that stands out to me isn't the one who is overweight or is wearing a tire around their belly.... it's the person who thinks he's hot and feels the need to flex his stomach muscles while entering the hot tub because he thinks everyone is watching. :grumble: ...
  • grimnir
    grimnir Posts: 61 Member
    I do totally feel self-conscious about getting naked, or taking my shirt off around other people. When I was really enormous I'd usually keep a tshirt on in the water. More recently, I've been more of a shirt off, get in the water quick , get out, towel, shirt back on kind of guy. Of course, I also burn, but that's not the real reason I wear a shirt.

    Still, I think it's goddamned ridiculous the way people say that big people should not expose themselves at all, or get all judgey about one another's bodies. That's ****in twisted, and every single one of them should be ashamed of themselves for being so bigoted, shallow, and uncool. Seriously, they can all eat a ****. I mean, what kind of emotionally and spiritually stunted little cretin is actually disturbed by other people's bodies? Imagine how twisted and horrible their parents must have been to produce such a worthless, sociopathic example of humanity. It's pathetic and cruel at best, the product of a truly sad and lonely psyche, hopelessly estranged from any real chance of achieving a sense of peace and self-satisfaction in life, of being a person truly worthy of love and appreciation. How little self worth they must have to possess such a low opinion of other people. I pity and despise them and their inhumane bull****.

    I'm a gentle kind of giant, but make nasty comments about me or anyone else being fat or what people should or shouldn't wear, and you will not like the results. My skills of verbal humiliation are finely honed through years of being picked on in school, and I CAN make you feel absolutely horrible about yourself. And at my size, I can physically intimidate even athletic guys up to about 6'3 if you want to get in my face about it. There's not much I'll pick a fight about, but that's seriously a hot button, and I won't put up with that kind of bull****, or any other kind of bigotry.
  • katschi
    katschi Posts: 689 Member
    As a man, my answer is, there should be. I really don’t care to be bombarded by fat bellies hanging out all over the place, not to mention the rest of them, man or women, have some respect please. I don’t go without a t-shirt because I think it’s uncalled for. If you have the body that is one thing, if not, please cover it up. I have always said there should be a weight limit on spandex and swimsuits .

    Wow.
  • Eskimopie
    Eskimopie Posts: 235 Member
    As a man, my answer is, there should be. I really don’t care to be bombarded by fat bellies hanging out all over the place, not to mention the rest of them, man or women, have some respect please. I don’t go without a t-shirt because I think it’s uncalled for. If you have the body that is one thing, if not, please cover it up. I have always said there should be a weight limit on spandex and swimsuits .

    Wow.

    Yeah this is a pretty awful thing to say...as well as ridiculous. I'm sure that person doesn't match plenty of people's aesthetic preferences himself. Maybe we should limit what he can wear?
  • h3h8m3
    h3h8m3 Posts: 455 Member
    I think that women are harder on themselves and on each other than men are, in general. I also think that the standard of beauty in our country is ridiculous and near impossible to achieve. People should just be healthy, whatever their size.

    . There are swimsuits that NO ONE should wear, in my opinion. (speedos for men, thongs for women)

    I was nodding along with you until that thong comment... we need a lot more of those, not less!
  • sallen67
    sallen67 Posts: 24 Member
    <---- Self conscious.

    I have lost about half of my excess body weight and I have a ton of extra skin now.
    Before that I looked like I could fill a D cup or bigger.

    I was self conscious then, you would never see me without a shirt.
    I'm still self conscious now, but not quite as much. I will take my shirt off to go into the water.

    There are still some things that I wouldn't do no matter what my physique looked like. You wouldn't catch me in a banana hammock, I think they just look ridiculous.

    Scott
  • tladame
    tladame Posts: 465 Member
    I'm a gentle kind of giant, but make nasty comments about me or anyone else being fat or what people should or shouldn't wear, and you will not like the results. My skills of verbal humiliation are finely honed through years of being picked on in school, and I CAN make you feel absolutely horrible about yourself. And at my size, I can physically intimidate even athletic guys up to about 6'3 if you want to get in my face about it. There's not much I'll pick a fight about, but that's seriously a hot button, and I won't put up with that kind of bull****, or any other kind of bigotry.

    "My skills of verbal humiliation are finely honed through years of being picked on in school"...man, I wish I'd had your cojones when I was in school! I was too afraid to fight back so I remained silent. (I wasn't picked on for being overweight, but for other things.)

    You all have inspired me to wear my 2-piece to the pool, and NOT the "mom suit" with the tankini top. Thanks guys!!
  • chrisdavey
    chrisdavey Posts: 9,834 Member
    I think half the guys I know thing they are just a few kgs away from Brad Pitt in fight club physique when it is umm a little far from the truth.

    And I just realised that my profile pic is from a beach in Thailand. Not that self conscious these days. And I just like collecting my Vitamin D :laugh:
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