How to not upset people when you correct them.. Help please.

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  • eldamiano
    eldamiano Posts: 2,667 Member
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    I dont care too much either. Weight loss is about honesty.
  • majigurl
    majigurl Posts: 660 Member
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    I just want to say..

    I really appreciate the feedback. I didn't think I would get so much awesome info! Lots for me to "digest" hehe.

  • aub6689
    aub6689 Posts: 351 Member
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    majigurl wrote: »
    aub6689 wrote: »
    I usually give my sources and talk about studies and overall scientific understanding.

    I also sometimes give them a "that may somehow in some way be almost true, but..."

    ie. "while it may be true that ....., I would suggest prioritizing CICO for weight loss because you will not store fat if you are eating in a deficit regardless of the macro/micronutrient breakdown."

    However, many people are unlikely to change their opinion regardless of how wrong they are. You can see social media comments arguing the answer to a math problem and people trying to teach the wrong ones order of operations and the people that are wrong are still just calling everyone else stupid- and that is on something that shouldn't be debatable...

    So, sometimes you have to let people live in their ignorance. You can choose to be very knowledgeable and go about things in the correct manner, but sometimes it isn't enough.

    LMAO at the math problem.

    I have to giggle at that because those math problems pretty much often have both answers as being right depending on how you work it out/view it. Arguing over how right your answer is when both are, in fact, correct.

    It's a really good point. I could view the other person as being correct in a nutritional point of view, even though the facts were inaccurate and misleading.. hmmmm

    The info wasn't even for the person I had a conflict for, they were just trying to correct me with information that wasn't accurate. I don't mind being corrected... but with this one point, I was sure on. I wasn't refuting how trans fats are broken down.. I don't know enough about that, so in that they COULD be right.. most likely are right? I dunno, I didn't even have an opinion on that. lol

    haha, no, this math one was clearly a test of PEMDAS (aka order of operations) and people were ignoring that. It was hysterical, but sad.

    Side note: because trans fats were already shown to conclusively be associated with dyslipidemia and other CVD risk factors, they are actually being removed from the food supply and most food companies have taken them out already as a marketing scheme "0 trans fats!" so the person's comment seems a bit unnecessary because trans fats are not nearly as ubiquitous as they once were.
  • LKArgh
    LKArgh Posts: 5,179 Member
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    majigurl wrote: »
    aub6689 wrote: »
    I usually give my sources and talk about studies and overall scientific understanding.

    I also sometimes give them a "that may somehow in some way be almost true, but..."

    ie. "while it may be true that ....., I would suggest prioritizing CICO for weight loss because you will not store fat if you are eating in a deficit regardless of the macro/micronutrient breakdown."

    However, many people are unlikely to change their opinion regardless of how wrong they are. You can see social media comments arguing the answer to a math problem and people trying to teach the wrong ones order of operations and the people that are wrong are still just calling everyone else stupid- and that is on something that shouldn't be debatable...

    So, sometimes you have to let people live in their ignorance. You can choose to be very knowledgeable and go about things in the correct manner, but sometimes it isn't enough.

    LMAO at the math problem.

    I have to giggle at that because those math problems pretty much often have both answers as being right depending on how you work it out/view it. Arguing over how right your answer is when both are, in fact, correct.

    It's a really good point. I could view the other person as being correct in a nutritional point of view, even though the facts were inaccurate and misleading.. hmmmm

    The info wasn't even for the person I had a conflict for, they were just trying to correct me with information that wasn't accurate. I don't mind being corrected... but with this one point, I was sure on. I wasn't refuting how trans fats are broken down.. I don't know enough about that, so in that they COULD be right.. most likely are right? I dunno, I didn't even have an opinion on that. lol

    This debate about trans fat kept reminding me of something, so had to google it. And actually, despite this other person beign extremely rude to you, he/she might have been right, CICO might not even fully apply here.
    http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/17636085
    "Under controlled feeding conditions, long-term TFA consumption was an independent factor in weight gain. TFAs enhanced intra-abdominal deposition of fat, even in the absence of caloric excess, and were associated with insulin resistance, with evidence that there is impaired post-insulin receptor binding signal transduction."
  • kgeyser
    kgeyser Posts: 22,505 Member
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    majigurl wrote: »
    MostlyWater wrote: »
    I'm just like you but I just keep my mouth shut and don't say anything.

    I do this constantly because I'm socially awkward. I know this lol

    I was in "talk mode" though and I was having a conversation with a friend that had asked me if fatty foods make people fat. The short answer is "no". The long answer was what I was trying to explain to her. She was starting to have fears of eating things like potato chips or fattier meats. I was trying to reassure her that they were fine, in moderation. I was trying to explain the benefit of healthier foods over only a junk food diet, but that even with a junk food only diet you could drop weight/maintain. This is when I was cut off to be told that trans fats WILL make you fat.
    REALLY not what she needed to be told at all! Way to help fuel an ED :/

    I don't like arguing though, so I stepped away once they called me names ( I'm too old and tired for that).

    BUT.. with every situation, you have a responsibility to how it played out. I know my faults. I know I'm blunt and abrupt. I need to figure out key phrase to help with that. just being quiet, like I often do, isn't a viable solution. It's a Band-Aid solution. I need to learn how to speak without constantly offending people. Maybe practicing in front of a mirror? lol

    Ok, someone interjecting into a conversation between other people without being invited is just wrong, and the person who did this pretty much demonstrated everything I was talking about in my post. Trying to establish themselves as an authority, disregarding what the other person is saying, making it personal, etc.

    Is there a different way you could have handled it? Probably, but I agree with the person above who talked about whether or not it would be worth it. It doesn't sound like trying to find common ground with this person or engage respectfully would have made much of a difference in their behavior, so I wouldn't dwell on this thinking that you were responsible for their reaction.
  • Afura
    Afura Posts: 2,054 Member
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    majigurl wrote: »
    I tried to tell them that no, that was false ( their comment on trans fats).. and they pretty much scowled at me and called me an "uninformed idiot". I checked out of the conversation at this point.....
    Wow sounds like in that instance you weren't at fault, that's pretty extreme response even if you were blunt.

    I agree with just sticking like the facts.

  • Shells918
    Shells918 Posts: 1,070 Member
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    Shalynlink wrote: »
    Compliment sandwich - generally works well in social & business settings. The other thing to recognize is you don't always have to be right (not just you but me and everyone else) You always have to ask yourself - "at the end of the day, does being correct on this really matter that much?".

    It's a tough one but if you are open to hearing what other people say, you will sort it out.

    So compliment sandwich example:

    "That's excellent info on trans fats! I haven't heard this before.

    I have been working on just maintaining a deficit first in diet which I feel is more important for me at this time and then delve into the nutritional aspects. Too much too soon is hard!

    Thanks again for the info!

    ...that's pretty cheese and kissy *kitten* but you get what I am throwing down.

    Compliment Sandwich

    http://www.adultswim.com/videos/family-guy/quarterly-employee-evaluation/
  • Latitude11Courtney
    Latitude11Courtney Posts: 55 Member
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    It takes some getting used to but I allow people the freedom to have their opinions or incorrect beliefs without the need to correct them or redirect them.
  • BZAH10
    BZAH10 Posts: 5,710 Member
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    majigurl wrote: »
    MostlyWater wrote: »
    I'm just like you but I just keep my mouth shut and don't say anything.

    I do this constantly because I'm socially awkward. I know this lol

    I was in "talk mode" though and I was having a conversation with a friend that had asked me if fatty foods make people fat. The short answer is "no". The long answer was what I was trying to explain to her. She was starting to have fears of eating things like potato chips or fattier meats. I was trying to reassure her that they were fine, in moderation. I was trying to explain the benefit of healthier foods over only a junk food diet, but that even with a junk food only diet you could drop weight/maintain. This is when I was cut off to be told that trans fats WILL make you fat.
    REALLY not what she needed to be told at all! Way to help fuel an ED :/

    I don't like arguing though, so I stepped away once they called me names ( I'm too old and tired for that).

    BUT.. with every situation, you have a responsibility to how it played out. I know my faults. I know I'm blunt and abrupt. I need to figure out key phrase to help with that. just being quiet, like I often do, isn't a viable solution. It's a Band-Aid solution. I need to learn how to speak without constantly offending people. Maybe practicing in front of a mirror? lol



    NEVER! I'm not the arguing type either, even if I do know I'm right, but name calling in any situation is unacceptable and I don't ever let that slide. I'm sorry they did that to you. Shows you very clearly right there their level of "intelligence". Good for you for being the better person, though!

    And I agree - there's been a lot of helpful information provided in this thread.
  • southbaysonia
    southbaysonia Posts: 39 Member
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    "Let's agree to disagree without being disagreeable".

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