Why the guilt?

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glassyo
glassyo Posts: 7,596 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
So lately I've seen various posters say they feel guilty for over eating or gaining weight, etc.

Why do you/they feel guilty?

I mean, if I tell myself I'm only going to eat half a donut but end up eating that half and a whole extra donut, as well, I feel annoyed with myself but never guilty. Even if I knowingly underestimate said donuts when logging them.

So get comfy on my couch and bare your guilty soul. :)

(No, really, I don't understand why people would feel guilty and I'm curious.)
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Replies

  • evildeadedd
    evildeadedd Posts: 108 Member
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    I don't think there any one clear cut answer. Sometimes I think ita because the vast majority of newer people on here are looking at being on a "diet". So if they eat that donut they are cheating at their diet, and it's natural to feel guilt when you cheat at something. Sometimes it's not fully having a grasp of how little damage overall that donut will do to you. Someone eats a whole bag of chips and sure it puts them over their goal, but how far over maintenance did they actually go if they shooting for a large deficit? They just wake up the next day and see the scale says they gained 10 pounds so they think one binge and it's over, not realizing that 10 pounds is 95% water from the sodium overload. So when you think that one mistake erased a whole month of work in the blink of an eye it gets you down.
  • Orphia
    Orphia Posts: 7,097 Member
    edited March 2016
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    "Women feel the need to confess and atone because we've been taught that eating certain foods or eating too much is sinful. ... We go back and forth between using food as reward or punishment...and there are some days when you can't even tell the difference between the two."

    http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10305332/when-food-guilt-is-ruining-your-life
  • Pob25
    Pob25 Posts: 13 Member
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    I've just said a similar thing elsewhere, if I shovel a pie in my face i feel crappy for a little while I log it on here, swallow the last bite while the app flashes me about bad fats and carbs... then I close the app, think about maybe going for a run for a while and move on.
    Don't do it often mind you, pies are real bad!
  • sndrd49
    sndrd49 Posts: 234 Member
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    I think a lot of people say "guilt" when they mean "regret".
  • kuranda10
    kuranda10 Posts: 593 Member
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    I'm going to guess part of it is because of all the "you control you" "only YOU determine ... " blah blah
    The diet industry (including these forums) have set it up so that if they cheat or go over, they feel as if they have failed as a person and have no self control.
    Instead of just having a bad day and moving on.
  • Whitezombiegirl
    Whitezombiegirl Posts: 1,042 Member
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    Because i feel out of control and greedy. I was always told that being greedy was one of the ugliest traits to have. We didnt have seconds in my house growing up and portions were put out in the kitchen - no self serve.

    I'm okay with that - but do feel bad if i eat more than i planned. (or when i see others eating large amounts of food)
  • endlessfall16
    endlessfall16 Posts: 932 Member
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    "Feeling guilty" is probably a poor expression due to the limit of language. Some even liken it to killing for comparison. However it's completely "legit" to feel bad for a failure and diet isn't a small endeavor.
  • jennifer_417
    jennifer_417 Posts: 12,344 Member
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    For me, it tends to be because I feel like it made my previous hard work for nothing, because I wiped out my calorie deficit (or at least some if it), and because I know it will be even longer to reach my goals.
  • Ws2016
    Ws2016 Posts: 432 Member
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    kuranda10 wrote: »
    I'm going to guess part of it is because of all the "you control you" "only YOU determine ... " blah blah
    The diet industry (including these forums) have set it up so that if they cheat or go over, they feel as if they have failed as a person and have no self control.
    Instead of just having a bad day and moving on.

    If "you don't control you", you would not be watching calories and consumption. Fact is, when you screw up, you've lost control over your own plan and the answer for me isn't feeling guilty or even just walking away, the answer is spending a little time examining how I respond to stimulus and what I can do to change my response.

  • Francl27
    Francl27 Posts: 26,372 Member
    edited March 2016
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    I feel guilty because my willpower fails.

    But I don't see how it's a bad thing, I'd still be 200 pounds if I didn't feel guilty over eating too much... (and let's be clear, I don't feel guilty about eating anything unless I end up over my goal).
    sndrd49 wrote: »
    I think a lot of people say "guilt" when they mean "regret".

    No, I only regret it if the food was not worth the calories.
  • Need2Exerc1se
    Need2Exerc1se Posts: 13,576 Member
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    Francl27 wrote: »
    I feel guilty because my willpower fails.

    This. It's the dietary equivalent of the walk of shame.

  • kommodevaran
    kommodevaran Posts: 17,890 Member
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    I too just regret, never feel guilt for eating. I think we forget to take into account how religious we humans are. Overindulgence is one of the "deadly sins". Food tastes good, and junk food tastes even better, without even being especially useful, so if one is determined to "diet" and equals that to suffering, eating for pleasure must create an intense feeling of conflict.

    Another aspect, that hadn't hit me until yesterday when I read the page linked below, mainly because I tend to be in the "outgroup", is that there is a social aspect to guilt - the confession. We see it all the time, people (especially women) feel the need to share their guilt, and giggle a bit.

    http://www.rookiemag.com/2012/07/eating-a-manifesto/
  • I_Will_End_You
    I_Will_End_You Posts: 4,397 Member
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    I usually only feel guilt if I've REALLY gone overboard for several days in a row. Last night I logged my nice, low cal Subway sandwich I planned on eating which fit perfectly into my day. On the way there, I saw a Chipotle and my 450 sandwich turned into a 1000 calorie burrito. No regrets, it was totally worth it.
  • glassyo
    glassyo Posts: 7,596 Member
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    Thanks. That helps. :)

    There was also this thread that was bumped with a good explanation:

    community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10305332/when-food-guilt-is-ruining-your-life#latest
  • srwoodson999
    srwoodson999 Posts: 9 Member
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    I don't really understand the guilt thing, either. I have experienced regret that I blew my calories on something that didn't even taste that good, or annoyance that I overate and thus will take longer to reach my goals, but food doesn't make me feel guilty.
  • arditarose
    arditarose Posts: 15,575 Member
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    Some of us are more tightly wound. I am a stressy/worried person. With that can come guilt. I have learned not to feel so guilty when I slip up with food, but I still get a little stressed. We are all different.
  • Need2Exerc1se
    Need2Exerc1se Posts: 13,576 Member
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    There really isn't a big difference in regret and guilt. One is feeling bad about something you've done (regret) the other is feeling bad because you know or think you've done something wrong or bad (guilt)

  • SarcasmIsMyLoveLanguage
    SarcasmIsMyLoveLanguage Posts: 2,671 Member
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    I think a lot of people equate it with a personal failure. Some people are just much harder on themselves than others.
  • missyfitz1
    missyfitz1 Posts: 93 Member
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    I think it really is guilt for me. If I decide I'm going to have a high-calorie meal with wine and dessert and then go back to my low-calorie eating after that, I don't feel guilty at all and I enjoy it. But if I plan my healthy eating and end up sabotaging the plan on a whim, I feel guilty. I feel as though I've failed myself and my good intentions in that moment of weakness.

    I don't let the guilt stick though. I move on, knowing there's nothing I can do about it but change my behaviour in the future. And the next time, I remember how bad I felt for failing myself, and I make a better choice. And it feels great.
  • selina884
    selina884 Posts: 826 Member
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    Semantics

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