Bummed by friend's comment

dawnw30
dawnw30 Posts: 270
edited September 28 in Motivation and Support
So I was talking to a friend earlier and I told her I was excited because we are going to a wedding in a couple of weeks and I wanted to show off a bit. I have lost alot of weight and am feeling kinda good about it. I said I just wanted people to go "Wow-you have 5 kids? No way!" She said she didn't know I was so conceited...REALLY? Do you think that's being conceited or just feeling good about the hard work I've been doing? It kinda hurt my feelings that she said that. I didn't say I want people to tell me I'm drop dead gorgeous or anything like that...that would be vain, but I just wanted to feel like a NORMAL person - not the fat chick in the corner like I usually am. Any thoughts? Am I over reacting? :embarassed:
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Replies

  • MrsSki
    MrsSki Posts: 196
    I don't think you are overreacting at all! When you are so proud of your hard work you want other people to recognize it too! I think it's amazing you have lost over 60 pounds. Good for you! :flowerforyou:
  • kellyscomeback
    kellyscomeback Posts: 1,369 Member
    Wow, what a 8itch. There's nothing conceded about wanting your hard work to be noticed.
    Now, if you were to go in your wedding gown then things would be different.
  • Laceylala
    Laceylala Posts: 3,094 Member
    Sounds like she is struggling with the fact that you've lost weight and are proud about it. Women in general I think don't know how to take a compliment a lot of times and I think they also don't know how to give them when their friend has done something they may not be able to do.

    My feelings would be hurt too.
  • zeeeb
    zeeeb Posts: 805 Member
    sounds jealous!

    go for it, you've worked hard, if you can't enjoy the fruits of your labour (by feeling confident and sexy) then whats the point?
  • Hollycat
    Hollycat Posts: 372
    :huh: Sniff....sniff.... I'm smelling a jealous :grumble: friend...

    Hollycat
    :flowerforyou:
  • MellyPfromVT
    MellyPfromVT Posts: 869 Member
    Be proud of what you have accomplished and flaunt it, Girl! She sounds jealous to me!
  • Katbaran
    Katbaran Posts: 605 Member
    Probably just the ugly, green-eyed monster: Jealousy! You've worked hard and I would surely like folks to notice. Ignore her. Nothing wrong with being proud of what you've accomplished. Knock them out with the new you!
  • lovehandles3076
    lovehandles3076 Posts: 27 Member
    I totally agree with sounds jealous, if you got it flaunt it, it is awesome that you have probably gained back some confidence screw what your friend says!!
  • AmberLiscous
    AmberLiscous Posts: 644 Member
    you should be proud of yourself.....,maybe she doesn't realize how insensitive she sounded.....you work it at that party and don't let her comment get you down....you are doing awesome :flowerforyou:
  • Jorra
    Jorra Posts: 3,338 Member
    Not conceited at all! You've worked hard to get where you are and there's nothing wrong with wanting people to notice.
  • MsEmmy
    MsEmmy Posts: 254 Member
    I don't think your comment is at all conceited. I would think she's gone down a few places on your friends list! Not only does her remark make her sound tactless and mean, it also smacks of jealousy - is there something in her life that she just doesn't have the motivation to do?? is there a chance she's jealous? She sounds like a meany.

    Enjoy the wedding. Forgive the friend this once......
  • flyawaybyebye
    flyawaybyebye Posts: 250
    Her comment sucks, and probably does come from jealousy. BUT, please don't get emotionally invested in how other people respond to your weight loss. Do it for you, and you only, and don't worry about anyone else's reaction. Because everyone (even people here on MFP) will react poorly to some aspect of your loss, your methods, etc. at some point. You have to decide what is or isn't working for you, and work it, and don't worry about what anyone else says or thinks. That way, if they react positively, it's purely a nice surprise, not something to work for or try to achieve.
  • katpack
    katpack Posts: 2 Member
    She most likely doesn't feel good about herself. Or is slightly jealous that you are doing so well with your weight loss. I would explain that is very motivating to have people notice your accomplishment and efforts because it wasn't easy.
  • audigal2008
    audigal2008 Posts: 1,129 Member
    Wow, what a 8itch. There's nothing conceded about wanting your hard work to be noticed.
    Now, if you were to go in your wedding gown then things would be different.

    hahahaha toooo funny! I actually had that happen! A lady that was invited to MY wedding asked me if I would mind if she wore her wedding dress to my wedding! She chose not to due to (Im sure) the look on my face when she asked me that dumb question!!
  • fitniknik
    fitniknik Posts: 713 Member
    Im with you. I feel like I talk about it quite a bit... (what Im eating etc) because its so much a part of my life now that I dont even notice. My sister told me that I should "just shut up about it" but.. shes kinda a bizzo and thats how she acts about stuff. I dont know maybe I annoy others too? I dont care though! I feel so good.. and damn if I dont look good! I wouldnt dwell on it! :)
  • mizjohnston
    mizjohnston Posts: 196 Member
    First of all way to go on your weight loss. you are doing a terrific job. Sounds like she is just jealous. When you are working so hard to get to your goal you want people to notice. It is time for you to shine. Don't let her ruin your day. :wink:
  • Hernandezedw
    Hernandezedw Posts: 284
    Wanting someone to compliment you is not conceited. Telling someone how great you are is. You worked hard, you have every right to want people to notice.
  • ejmcam
    ejmcam Posts: 533 Member
    People are so inconsiderate! I totally get it! Nothing makes me feel better than when people say that I look good! Because it took a lot of work to get there and we deserve all the praise! You go and have a great time....feeling good about yourself and all!
  • Dahlface13
    Dahlface13 Posts: 65 Member
    If you are usually the shy kinda insecure one then she's probably just not used to you being more confident. Don't let it get to you. If she's a true friend she'll get used to (and happy with!) the sexier and more confident you. If not and she can't support you, maybe it's for the best to find out. Give her a little slack tho, people around us take time to get used to the new us just like it takes us time to make healthy changes.
  • o0IrishEyes0o
    o0IrishEyes0o Posts: 82 Member
    Whew! Sounds like a little bit of misplaced negativity or maybe just a strongly opinionated personality. You are NOT conceited. You are PROUD! And you should be!

    Rock out at the wedding and don't let the comment get you down. Maybe tell her that it hurt your feelings? I have some friends that are really opinionated and they don't often realize that what they say hurts.
  • navvs15
    navvs15 Posts: 165
    :huh: Sniff....sniff.... I'm smelling a jealous :grumble: friend...

    Hollycat
    :flowerforyou:


    I second that!
  • CommittohealthCHANGED
    CommittohealthCHANGED Posts: 436 Member
    Be proud of your accompplishment and flaunt your stuff. I had friend tell me I look like a dried up crack head and I should stop losing weight. Congrats on your weight loss.
  • Roseapples
    Roseapples Posts: 11
    This person does not sound like a very good friend.
    You should be proud of your weight loss!
    When you have accomplished something like that you should show off a little. I love when I am feeling good and I jave a confident group of friends around me. Good for you!:happy:
  • heather0416
    heather0416 Posts: 118 Member
    sounds jealous!

    go for it, you've worked hard, if you can't enjoy the fruits of your labour (by feeling confident and sexy) then whats the point?

    I agree. She is probably jealous.. maybe she doesnt want you to get more positive attention than her?! You should feel good about yourself.. be proud of all you have accomplished and dont let anyone bring you down or make you feel bad .. youve worked hard to get where you are at.. smile and enjoy!!!
  • maryruth
    maryruth Posts: 1
    Thats not concieted at all. You should be able to say that to a friend and be just fine. She should have just said "good for you!" or "I be you will look great!" Congrats on your weight loss!
  • barefootbeautiful
    barefootbeautiful Posts: 144
    Go flaunt it! You earned the right to show yourself off, and it sounds like you're owning that work, which is a BIG step. Confidence can often be intimidating, and maybe that's what happened to your friend. She's probably watched you go from wall-flower to full-bloomed, and that can be hard for a friend (especially if she's been struggling herself?). As hard as it is to hear that from friends, you can't let that hold you back! There is nothing wrong with being confident and self-assured. Maybe she'll pick up some tips from you. And knock 'em dead at that wedding!
  • skinnyinnotime
    skinnyinnotime Posts: 4,078 Member
    OMG, she calls herself a friend, pah, i think not. Don't let her nasty comment get you down, you've worked hard to get where you are, be proud and enjoy...definately not conceited!
  • shonasteele
    shonasteele Posts: 473
    I agree that you deserve some attention & to feel good after all your hard work. And I agree that she *might* also be jealous. But I have one other thought too...

    I know I'm kind of obsessed about food and exercise and how well I'm doing lately. It's all I talk about to my husband and I'm sure he must get SO sick of it (but he's so supportive!) so I'm wondering if you might be doing some of that with your friend? My BFF lives far away so I haven't even told her I've lost weight (I want her to be surprised when I see her this summer) but I suspect that I'd likely be the same with her if she were here with me every day. So, I guess the question is, do you talk a lot about your weight loss and food choices with your friend? And if so, might she be tired of hearing about it all the time and feel like all the attention is on you because of your success?

    Please don't get me wrong, I TOTALLY GET the need to talk about it & 'toot your own horn' to stay on track, but is there a chance that she might feel like she (and your friendship) is taking a backseat to your weight loss?

    And CONGRATS!!! on your success - you should totally strut your stuff at that wedding and love every minute of it!!!!! We were supposed to be going to a family wedding next weekend but can't make it now cuz hubby has to work and I'm SO bummed cuz I'm getting my braces off on Monday (after 18 months of agony) and between that and losing 17 pounds, I was planning on strutting around like a peacock but now I can't :O( It's just not the same getting gussied up and strutting around the mall. So you have fun for me too, ok?
  • FaithandFitness
    FaithandFitness Posts: 653 Member
    Well, if it does make you conceited then perhaps you and I should be charter members of The Conceited Club! I would love for someone I haven't seen in a while comment that they noticed my hard work, and that it didn't look like I was a mom of 4 (whatever a mom of 4 or 5 SHOULD look like, I don't know)
  • i_love_vinegar
    i_love_vinegar Posts: 2,092 Member
    :huh: Sniff....sniff.... I'm smelling a jealous :grumble: friend...

    Hollycat
    :flowerforyou:


    I second that!

    Third that! Sounds like she is jealous of your success. Don't let her get to you, maybe gently tell her that you are sorry if you sounded like you were being conceited, but you are just extremely happy with your weight loss. Then let her know that she hurt your feelings. :smile:
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