Fit shaming?
Fattonz
Posts: 60 Member
I really wasn't sure which forum to post in, so thought I would try it here.
Has anyone else faced this challenge following a recent lifestyle change? Over the last 10 months I went from obese to 10% body fat (60lb loss off my 5'-7" frame). I was overweight for nearly 20 years and am currently 41 years old. I have, for all intents and purposes, weighed essentially the same for the last 5 months. However, in the last two months, since I have begun body building, I have added 1/2" to my bicep, 1-1/8" to my thighs, my waist and body fat percentage has remained the same, and the scale has increased by 6lbs. I have VERY noticeable strength gains on a weekly basis, and can see noticable changes to my physique each week as well.
However, I am still occassionally hearing comments at work, both to my face, and behind my back "you're so skinny", "you're wasting away to nothing", "he looks like an aids patient", "he keeps losing SO much weight". "I hope he's not sick", etc, etc...... Too many more to list.
Hmmmm.....the "hope he's not sick" comment really got to me. So basically with one comment this person is completely dismissing the fact that I may have gotten where I am through hard work?!?? Completely dismissing hundreds of hours of meal planning, meal prep, shopping for clean foods, calorie logging, macro counting, cardio sessions, five days a week in the gym, intense strength training, etc, etc....
Anyway, I'm just kind of sick of people with an inability to be happy for others. When I was overweight I felt happy for people who were succeeding where I was failing....and I openly expressed that and encouraged others when I seen they had done well. I guess I shouldn't care....and this has been my rant....lol.
Has anyone else faced this challenge following a recent lifestyle change? Over the last 10 months I went from obese to 10% body fat (60lb loss off my 5'-7" frame). I was overweight for nearly 20 years and am currently 41 years old. I have, for all intents and purposes, weighed essentially the same for the last 5 months. However, in the last two months, since I have begun body building, I have added 1/2" to my bicep, 1-1/8" to my thighs, my waist and body fat percentage has remained the same, and the scale has increased by 6lbs. I have VERY noticeable strength gains on a weekly basis, and can see noticable changes to my physique each week as well.
However, I am still occassionally hearing comments at work, both to my face, and behind my back "you're so skinny", "you're wasting away to nothing", "he looks like an aids patient", "he keeps losing SO much weight". "I hope he's not sick", etc, etc...... Too many more to list.
Hmmmm.....the "hope he's not sick" comment really got to me. So basically with one comment this person is completely dismissing the fact that I may have gotten where I am through hard work?!?? Completely dismissing hundreds of hours of meal planning, meal prep, shopping for clean foods, calorie logging, macro counting, cardio sessions, five days a week in the gym, intense strength training, etc, etc....
Anyway, I'm just kind of sick of people with an inability to be happy for others. When I was overweight I felt happy for people who were succeeding where I was failing....and I openly expressed that and encouraged others when I seen they had done well. I guess I shouldn't care....and this has been my rant....lol.
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Replies
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I think you did marvelous!! Some people are just dumb, a lot of people have difficulty with compliments. Don't listen to them and don't let them get you down.0
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You look awesome! Ignore the haters!0
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You look great! People can be so judgemental and have no clue what they're talking about.0
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You look amazing! I went through the same thing going from 340 to 180, but in the end I am who matters most not them. I was and am still healthy. It is because they haven't known you any other way! Keep it up sir0
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You look awesome, congratulation on a job well done. And I like to add: now you know how we women feel...
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You look amazing! Be proud of what you have achieved. Ignore all the negative comments, there just jealous.
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I think Gisel might be trying to tell me to man up....lol.
Thanks everyone for the encouragement! On a more positive note I have developed somewhat of a following from certain colleagues looking to make positive changes. They have asked my advice, invited me to workout with them, and as a result I have developed some closer relationships with other like minded people. Aside from the negative comments, my meals have certainly gotten attention. This morning a coworker insisted on sampling my oats with peace and stevia...lol. .....and he liked it! 0 -
I get what you're saying. People are human and although they should be thinking before they speak, most don't. I experienced what you are going through when I lost 200 lbs. People said things like, girl you need to go eat a cheeseburger, or my aunt even gasped, and said I can feel your bones (I adore her), or some said I was too skinny. I let that in my head and attempted to "lighten" up a little, and I fell completely off the health wagon. My goal this time around is to not let what others say get in my head, and for sure not take it to heart. Let's face it, speaking for myself, I would not have a weight problem in the first place if my mind wasn't some what fragile. There will be a time when I start strength training, and I hope to goodness I have the success I see you have had. In the mean time, I'm gonna be strengthening my mind. Thanks for sharing, I needed to see your story today.0
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I understand what you are going through, I heard today "You cannot lose any more weight", I believe it is also some folks feeling a bit guilty about there own weight. You look great and you should be an inspiration to all
the folks in your life, you are to us here. Keep it up!
David0 -
Awesome work! You certainly don't look sick or unhealthy in those photos, however it is a big change in less than a year and perhaps your colleagues haven't adjusted to the 'new you' yet.
There might possibly be a certain amount of jealousy as well, but don't forget that people at work probably won't have seen the physique under the clothes - they doubtless wouldn't say you're "wasting away" if they saw these photos!
I sympathise, but I'd have to agree with estrimp81 that your colleagues just haven't known you any other way so it's likely a big adjustment for them. They'll get used to it, and hopefully start complimenting you soon! 0 -
I think Gisel might be trying to tell me to man up....lol.
Thanks everyone for the encouragement! On a more positive note I have developed somewhat of a following from certain colleagues looking to make positive changes. They have asked my advice, invited me to workout with them, and as a result I have developed some closer relationships with other like minded people. Aside from the negative comments, my meals have certainly gotten attention. This morning a coworker insisted on sampling my oats with peace and stevia...lol. .....and he liked it!
Nope, I was only trying to tell you that us ladies get that kind of comments quite often. I really didn't think that you guys were also exposed to that negativity. Sorry about that and keep up the good work.
Edited to add: if you company has Friday's dress down days, maybe you can really dress down and go to work in short and with just a tight T shirt. That will show them!!!0 -
First off well done. You inspire me and I have a long path to travel. Secondly, what they are saying, says more about them and has very little to do with you. I know that may sound odd, but it is their own fear and perhaps even jealousy of your success that has them so very negative. As if the ONLY way you could be as fit as you are is if you had some illness. As many have said above, just ignore them, enjoy your new circle of like minded friends.0
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I get fit shamed on this site just because I'm trying to lose weight with yet 90 to lose. In real life, I keep my friends whom I see regularly and whom I don't see so often informed of my progress. They can talk if they want.0
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Awesome work! You certainly don't look sick or unhealthy in those photos, however it is a big change in less than a year and perhaps your colleagues haven't adjusted to the 'new you' yet.
There might possibly be a certain amount of jealousy as well, but don't forget that people at work probably won't have seen the physique under the clothes - they doubtless wouldn't say you're "wasting away" if they saw these photos!
I sympathise, but I'd have to agree with estrimp81 that your colleagues just haven't known you any other way so it's likely a big adjustment for them. They'll get used to it, and hopefully start complimenting you soon!
Nope, I was only trying to tell you that us ladies get that kind of comments quite often. I really didn't think that you guys were also exposed to that negativity. Sorry about that and keep up the good work.
Edited to add: if you company has Friday's dress down days, maybe you can really dress down and go to work in short and with just a tight T shirt. That will show them!!!
Lol...It's ok Gisel, I was just kidding. I think you both have a good point here though. My work clothes are now so big that I swim in them...lol. I have a job that requires I wear fire retardant coveralls....so I am definitely well hidden under all that clothing. Might have to wait for a training day, or team meeting for that tight shirt option
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You look fine. I just think some peoples visual perception of healthy has gotten messed up. There are a lot of fat people nowadays so I guess people forget what healthy looks like and confuse it with being skinny. It is probably a shock to people's systems.0
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Wow that's messed up
Forget about it
You look great and feel good that's all that matters
Keep up the good work
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We can ONLY control ourselves. It can be annoying when others dismiss our hard work, but it isn't up to you to worry about what they think about you. You know what you've done and the work that has gone into it.....that is the most important thing.0
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You look great...I do understand that someone might be concerned about a weight loss such as this, but enjoy and just say something like...I feel better than ever and smile broadly while flexing your beautiful muscles
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You look amazing. Very inspirational.0
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I got that, too, when I was super fit. I even had some people tell me I looked better when I gained a little weight. I'm not sure if they meant well or whether they were envious. Probably some of both. In any case, you are not alone in getting these comments. All that matters, though, is that you feel good about yourself and how you look/feel. Try to disregard the others.0
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Y0
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You look great!
And I'm sorry; I lost all of 23 lbs and have still gotten the "You're too skinny," etc. comments.0 -
I wouldn't equate 'I hope he isn't sick' with an 'inability to be happy for others' though - perhaps they just genuinely ( albeit misguidedly) hoped you weren't sick.0
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You look very healthy and in great shape! Great job! You definitely don't look sick. The people around you that are saying you've been loosing too much weight and/or making those comments that they think you look sick..... Here's the reality-they are JEALOUS Negative people. They are the type of people that won't make the sacrifices and hard work you did with a total lifestyle change. People notice when you go from unhealthy to healthy and strong and the ones that can't compliment you are insecure. They know they would never suck it up to do what you did and because of how they feel about fitness and dieting and healthy choices they rather knock you down than deal with themselves and how they are unhappy with themselves in that area. Some people are just plain weak mentally and emotionally and those are always the ones talking badly about someone else's achievements. I know it may hurt but try to brush off their comments. They really mean nothing. If they were your friends they would be happy for you not jealous and petty.0
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Or they may be genuinely concerned - weight loss IS a symptom of many illnesses.
Not deliberate planned weight loss like OP did - but not everyone will know background of that.0 -
Don't listen to other people's negativity, they are not happy for you because you achieved what they couldn't, be proud of that. Also remember we live in a society where overweight people is the norm, and if you don't look like the rest then you are considered not the norm.0
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paperpudding wrote: »Or they may be genuinely concerned - weight loss IS a symptom of many illnesses.
Not deliberate planned weight loss like OP did - but not everyone will know background of that.
People who are genuinely concerned don't tend to make comments behind your back (or at least they shouldn't).
People have a skewed view of what healthy looks like these days. It might also be the baggy work clothes making you look underweight too.
As long as you're happy and healthy then don't listen to what other people think. The comments are most likely a reflection on themselves anyway. I find that it's the people who are unhappy with their own situation but are unable (or just unwilling) to change who always feel the need to bring others down. Especially those who are doing what they can't or won't do0 -
You're doing fantastic!
Haters gonna hate. Just let them be jealous!
Invited to workouts is a great way to team build!
Good for you!0 -
davidmartinez66 wrote: »I understand what you are going through, I heard today "You cannot lose any more weight", I believe it is also some folks feeling a bit guilty about there own weight. You look great and you should be an inspiration to all
the folks in your life, you are to us here. Keep it up!
David
Yes.0 -
Eh, my stance always is and will be that if people have a problem with my physique that they don't like, it's their problem.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
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Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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