Fit shaming?
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Lol...It's ok Gisel, I was just kidding. I think you both have a good point here though. My work clothes are now so big that I swim in them...lol. I have a job that requires I wear fire retardant coveralls....so I am definitely well hidden under all that clothing. Might have to wait for a training day, or team meeting for that tight shirt option
The loose clothing most likely is the source of the 'too skinny' comments, in that case! If your coveralls look huge on you, you probably look thinner than you really are in comparison. Is it possible for you to get better fitting ones?
Also, I agree with the posters who mentioned that many people don't know what 'healthy' looks like any more. We're so used to seeing overweight people everywhere that ones who are a healthy weight seem too skinny!0 -
queenliz99 wrote: »I think you did marvelous!! Some people are just dumb, a lot of people have difficulty with compliments. Don't listen to them and don't let them get you down.
This. There will always be haters, no matter what you do. "I hope he isn't sick" might secretly mean "I wish I could do that".
You look great!! Keep doing what you do!0 -
First off, CONGRATULATIONS! That much progress in only 10-months? You are an inspiration. Ignore the haters. There will be haters whether you are obese, fit, skinny fat, or underweight. There is no way that everyone will be happy for you. People are constantly telling me to "eat more" or "you go to the gym too much," but you know your body's limits and the goals you want to reach. Focus on that. Only that.0
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You look great! Don't let people's jealous comments get you down. I had a boyfriend who didn't like it when I lost the first ten pounds of the 20 pounds I eventually lost, but most of the response in my life has been overwhelmingly positive.0
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If those people have a problem with your weight loss, then THEY have the problem. Not you. (they may be jealous). What they say should have no bearing on your life. Just ignore them and keep going. You have lost a fair bit of weight, so if they are only used to you being larger then they may need time to adjust to the new you. Either way let them carry on, and you just enjoy being yourself.0
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I think you're just showing off But you're perfectly entitled to, great progress. I get those comments a lot as well, usually from people who are more used to a less than great diet who seem to think how they eat is normal and don't understand why someone else wouldn't want to do what they do. So I'll guess that's where comments like that come from. People don't want to accept that they could improve, so try and make out that someone who has improved has something wrong with them. Anyway, just don't bother paying attention and keep showing off.0
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I don't immediately jump to the conclusion that they are jealous terrible people. I get a lot of this from my coworkers who like to say i'm wasting away and do I even eat, etc. They don't mean to be insulting or to make me uncomfortable. I genuinely think they are trying to encourage me or celebrate my success although their comments do make me uncomfortable and sometimes angry.0
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I personally don't think you look sick, you look like you're in good shape now! I do know that wearing loose clothes can make you look sick, like maybe you lost a lot of weight all at once, depending on how baggy said clothes are. That could be one reason for the comments. It could also be that people are feeling insecure about their own bodies and trying to make themselves feel better. Not really anything you can do about that, though. About all you can do is keep going as you are and ignore the bitter comments.0
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Great job! Some people are susceptible to a disability known as hatervision, and because of this can't be happy for the people around them. I generally just feel sorry for them as there is no known cure.0
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First off you look amazing; your progress is seriously impressive! As far as the "you're too skinny" or "you look sick" comments, i've come to the conclusion that it is a lack of knowledge of health and fitness more than anything that generates these comments. People aren't used to seeing visibly "fit" people. Look around your office, the supermarket, probably your family and friends....most people we are surrounded by are overweight (at least in America) so when people do see someone thin or visibly fit they assume it's for a reason other than hard work. You just can't win with some people; in regular clothes I hear i'm too thin and when I'm working out in a sports bra and tights I hear my abs and traps make me look "manly." As long you're happy and working hard to make the body you want I wouldn't even give those comments a thought. We see those gains OP! ha-ha0
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I think that people just don't know how to say "Wow, congratulations, you look great!" instead of the comments "must be on drugs" or "wonder if it's AIDS or cancer" (before I lost my weight, there are two people in my life who lost weight quickly and those were my first two thoughts instead of "they must be eating healthy and exercising") because they don't understand weight loss. Now that I understand what it takes to lose a lot of weight (and did it) I have gained respect for others who do the same and I can encourage them now instead of silently wondering what mishap had befallen them hahaha.0
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You look great! Well done for all you've achieved / are achieving. Keep it up and ignore your work mates. I have had issues in the past myself with colleagues. It sucks and can really bring you down. Forget them. In some cases, it is probably jealousy. I know it is in mine!0
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They think that the only logical explanation for your weight loss is a disease since they can lose weight.... Just remember this quote: A lion doesn't concern itself with the opinion of sheep.0
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What others say and/or do is because of their own insecurities - you look like you're in a great shape, not sickly. If you overhear their comments, maybe say something to them about the hard work and dedication you have put into your weight loss journey, that should shut them up0
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you have done awesome!! don't let them bring you down... congrats on your progress0
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A couple of thoughts, one of which is echoed here already - sour grapes. In addition, approximately 2/3 of US Americans are overweight or obese according to the CDC, which makes overweight "normal" and people have adapted to seeing that. Comparatively speaking you DO look thin. Although they might sing another tune if you took your shirt off at work.0
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This is all because "fat" is the new normal. Anyone who loses weight must be sick/dying. Strange world, this one is.
PS: Keep up the good work. I think I need to borrow your level of commitment.0 -
It's really sad that this happens. When confronted with change, people are challenged. They don't know how to process it, except to make it about themselves. They look at what they're eating, how they're exercising, and instead of changing what they're doing, they'd rather say things to make you stop doing what you're doing. Maybe some of your colleagues have genuine concerns, but I'd bet most of them will start a diet and/or fitness program within 1 week of saying those things to you.0
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You're not alone @Fattonz. Actually, the majority of the too thin comments come from my family. However a lot of my coworkers imply that I may be sick. I had a neighbor or two ask "was it intentional," I guess they're implying I may have been sick as well.
ETA: I wish I looked as good as you do in your last photo, at 160 where I am now. Down from 270lbs when I started (my largest being 290 a few years ago), sometimes I look in the mirror and say 'maybe I do look sick'.People who are genuinely concerned don't tend to make comments behind your back (or at least they shouldn't).
Perhaps they're scared to bring it up, afraid of doing exactly what happened here - inadvertently insulting the person that is the subject of discussion. It's not right, but judging how one will react to direct discussion is never easy.0 -
What you've done is amazing, and you should be proud. I've gotten loads of hate for losing weight. People are just jealous. That's honestly what it is.0
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*kitten* people. Honestly, I had the same type of comments thrown at me when I lost over 30 lbs (I went from 156 lbs to 130 lbs - I'm 5'8) and from people I was friends with.
I had one friend refer to me as "skeletor" to my face. It hurts because we know that we have put in hard work, and I thought I looked better than I did, but now people just think I look like a skeleton? It takes a hit on your ego and self esteem.
Some of it is jealousy driven, others might be coming from a place of concern that isn't voiced well- some people just are a**holes.
As long as you know what you have accomplished and feel good about yourself, let there comments and opinions roll off your back. You keep doing you (great work and results!)0 -
paperpudding wrote: »Or they may be genuinely concerned - weight loss IS a symptom of many illnesses.
Not deliberate planned weight loss like OP did - but not everyone will know background of that.
This -- sometimes it seems really fast to others, even if it feels like it took a long time and a lot of hard work to us. I noticed that with a few people I only see every few months or so, when I was losing. And I also learned that a co-worker was worried that I might be sick. Since I didn't discuss my weight loss plans with anyone, I didn't find this insulting, but a genuine concern (even though I looked way healthier after the weight loss).
Anyway, OP looks great -- fabulous job -- but I sometimes think people are too quick to jump to conclusions and get offended or perceive jealousy or efforts to shame. Where I am the only reactions have been positive, but that doesn't mean that people don't wonder about quick weight loss (or what seems quick to them), as they don't know the details and lots of people are private about health issues.0 -
I think seeing someone melt before their eyes can be very shocking to some people. When my cousins had weight loss surgery, I was very alarmed by the drastic change. Try to understand that it will take time for them to get used to this new you. The only thing that really matters is how you feel about yourself. You look great and I for one am very impressed with the transformation.0
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People are dumb. Ignore. You look great!0
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Haters project their insecurities on those they are jealous of0
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All I can say is WOW!!! I came home from town to find a gazillion supportive comments on here! What a supportive and understanding bunch you all are. Your comments both move me and make me laugh. It sounds like many of you have been down this road and have acheived great things yourselves.
Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and experiences. You all inspire me and for this I sincerely thank you0 -
People in today's society in don't seem too seem to care about other people's feelings I can tell you this much I wish I could be half as in shape as you look I'm so jealous keep up the good work man Anybody that wants to feel free to add me it's a long journey and I need all the support I can get0
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looking good! i never experienced fit-shaming outright, i also never feel i experienced fat shaming. i dont think I'm lucky, i think I'm oblivious.0
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Congratulations on your weight loss!
I can relate on how you feel. When I was in shape (I was a dancer and gym rat), I used to get the same kind of negativity from people. It was difficult to process what I was hearing - until I started to hit my 40's, and my body's metabolism started changing - I realized at that point that people were simply being negative -- from being jealous.
Now I'm in my 50's and a breast cancer survivor. I miss my old body and I'm on my way to getting my old self back.0
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