Fit shaming?

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  • Kimberly_Harper
    Kimberly_Harper Posts: 406 Member
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    I think that people just don't know how to say "Wow, congratulations, you look great!" instead of the comments "must be on drugs" or "wonder if it's AIDS or cancer" (before I lost my weight, there are two people in my life who lost weight quickly and those were my first two thoughts instead of "they must be eating healthy and exercising") because they don't understand weight loss. Now that I understand what it takes to lose a lot of weight (and did it) I have gained respect for others who do the same and I can encourage them now instead of silently wondering what mishap had befallen them hahaha.
  • FrustratedYoYoer
    FrustratedYoYoer Posts: 274 Member
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    You look great! Well done for all you've achieved / are achieving. Keep it up and ignore your work mates. I have had issues in the past myself with colleagues. It sucks and can really bring you down. Forget them. In some cases, it is probably jealousy. I know it is in mine!
  • toughmudderMN
    toughmudderMN Posts: 129 Member
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    They think that the only logical explanation for your weight loss is a disease since they can lose weight.... Just remember this quote: A lion doesn't concern itself with the opinion of sheep.
  • dawn_noelle29
    dawn_noelle29 Posts: 114 Member
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    What others say and/or do is because of their own insecurities - you look like you're in a great shape, not sickly. If you overhear their comments, maybe say something to them about the hard work and dedication you have put into your weight loss journey, that should shut them up :)
  • MYhealthyjourney70
    MYhealthyjourney70 Posts: 276 Member
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    you have done awesome!! don't let them bring you down... congrats on your progress
  • closetlibrarian
    closetlibrarian Posts: 2,207 Member
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    A couple of thoughts, one of which is echoed here already - sour grapes. In addition, approximately 2/3 of US Americans are overweight or obese according to the CDC, which makes overweight "normal" and people have adapted to seeing that. Comparatively speaking you DO look thin. Although they might sing another tune if you took your shirt off at work. ;)
  • benjaminhk
    benjaminhk Posts: 353 Member
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    This is all because "fat" is the new normal. Anyone who loses weight must be sick/dying. Strange world, this one is.

    PS: Keep up the good work. I think I need to borrow your level of commitment.
  • thesaltygirl
    thesaltygirl Posts: 10 Member
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    It's really sad that this happens. When confronted with change, people are challenged. They don't know how to process it, except to make it about themselves. They look at what they're eating, how they're exercising, and instead of changing what they're doing, they'd rather say things to make you stop doing what you're doing. Maybe some of your colleagues have genuine concerns, but I'd bet most of them will start a diet and/or fitness program within 1 week of saying those things to you.
  • belimawr
    belimawr Posts: 1,155 Member
    edited March 2016
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    You're not alone @Fattonz. Actually, the majority of the too thin comments come from my family. However a lot of my coworkers imply that I may be sick. I had a neighbor or two ask "was it intentional," I guess they're implying I may have been sick as well.

    ETA: I wish I looked as good as you do in your last photo, at 160 where I am now. Down from 270lbs when I started (my largest being 290 a few years ago), sometimes I look in the mirror and say 'maybe I do look sick'.
    gmallan wrote: »
    People who are genuinely concerned don't tend to make comments behind your back (or at least they shouldn't).

    Perhaps they're scared to bring it up, afraid of doing exactly what happened here - inadvertently insulting the person that is the subject of discussion. It's not right, but judging how one will react to direct discussion is never easy.
  • lisawinning4losing
    lisawinning4losing Posts: 726 Member
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    What you've done is amazing, and you should be proud. I've gotten loads of hate for losing weight. People are just jealous. That's honestly what it is.
  • HearMySirenSong
    HearMySirenSong Posts: 23 Member
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    *kitten* people. Honestly, I had the same type of comments thrown at me when I lost over 30 lbs (I went from 156 lbs to 130 lbs - I'm 5'8) and from people I was friends with.

    I had one friend refer to me as "skeletor" to my face. It hurts because we know that we have put in hard work, and I thought I looked better than I did, but now people just think I look like a skeleton? It takes a hit on your ego and self esteem.

    Some of it is jealousy driven, others might be coming from a place of concern that isn't voiced well- some people just are a**holes.

    As long as you know what you have accomplished and feel good about yourself, let there comments and opinions roll off your back. You keep doing you (great work and results!) :)
  • lemurcat12
    lemurcat12 Posts: 30,886 Member
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    paperpudding wrote: »
    Or they may be genuinely concerned - weight loss IS a symptom of many illnesses.

    Not deliberate planned weight loss like OP did - but not everyone will know background of that.

    This -- sometimes it seems really fast to others, even if it feels like it took a long time and a lot of hard work to us. I noticed that with a few people I only see every few months or so, when I was losing. And I also learned that a co-worker was worried that I might be sick. Since I didn't discuss my weight loss plans with anyone, I didn't find this insulting, but a genuine concern (even though I looked way healthier after the weight loss).

    Anyway, OP looks great -- fabulous job -- but I sometimes think people are too quick to jump to conclusions and get offended or perceive jealousy or efforts to shame. Where I am the only reactions have been positive, but that doesn't mean that people don't wonder about quick weight loss (or what seems quick to them), as they don't know the details and lots of people are private about health issues.
  • MarziDeThrall
    MarziDeThrall Posts: 98 Member
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    I think seeing someone melt before their eyes can be very shocking to some people. When my cousins had weight loss surgery, I was very alarmed by the drastic change. Try to understand that it will take time for them to get used to this new you. The only thing that really matters is how you feel about yourself. You look great and I for one am very impressed with the transformation.
  • wizzybeth
    wizzybeth Posts: 3,573 Member
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    People are dumb. Ignore. You look great!
  • windee52
    windee52 Posts: 1,690 Member
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    Haters project their insecurities on those they are jealous of
  • Fattonz
    Fattonz Posts: 60 Member
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    All I can say is WOW!!! I came home from town to find a gazillion supportive comments on here! What a supportive and understanding bunch you all are. Your comments both move me and make me laugh. It sounds like many of you have been down this road and have acheived great things yourselves.

    Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and experiences. You all inspire me and for this I sincerely thank you :):):)
  • Fattleass
    Fattleass Posts: 223 Member
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    People in today's society in don't seem too seem to care about other people's feelings I can tell you this much I wish I could be half as in shape as you look I'm so jealous keep up the good work man Anybody that wants to feel free to add me it's a long journey and I need all the support I can get
  • besaro
    besaro Posts: 1,858 Member
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    looking good! i never experienced fit-shaming outright, i also never feel i experienced fat shaming. i dont think I'm lucky, i think I'm oblivious.
  • joannemonette1
    joannemonette1 Posts: 99 Member
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    Congratulations on your weight loss!

    I can relate on how you feel. When I was in shape (I was a dancer and gym rat), I used to get the same kind of negativity from people. It was difficult to process what I was hearing - until I started to hit my 40's, and my body's metabolism started changing - I realized at that point that people were simply being negative -- from being jealous.

    Now I'm in my 50's and a breast cancer survivor. I miss my old body and I'm on my way to getting my old self back.

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