Why she being like that

geeta81
geeta81 Posts: 36 Member
edited April 2016 in Motivation and Support
Hey. So...
My best friend and I have been on many diets before trying to lose weight one way or another.
We both started this calorie counting one, but now shes lost motivation and I am determined to lose weight no matter what.
As she's my best friend I thought she would be happy that I occasionally mention my weight loss and how am doing, but now she says i have become obsessed, I'm like WTF!?!
I'm just serious about losing weight for me.

I think she's either jealous that I've lost 13lb up to now or she's being selfish coz the attention isn't about her.
«1

Replies

  • abadvat
    abadvat Posts: 1,241 Member
    your interpretation might be right or maybe you have become annoying and self centred only talking about yourself?!
  • NA1979
    NA1979 Posts: 223 Member
    People who lose weight are right to be proud, but there is nothing quite more annoying than going on about how much you've lost, I've done it before and have been told to shut up lol. Anyway if your friend doesn't seem to want to know just talk about something else!
  • CollieFit
    CollieFit Posts: 1,683 Member
    Who knows...
  • Tum22
    Tum22 Posts: 102 Member
    I must admit I love talking about dieting, weight loss etc and I do have a friend who is the same but not so much lately as someone once said to her people were bored of hearing about it but not me! I guess you'll just have to talk to other fitness pals on here! Good luck to you :smile:
  • Mirasaki
    Mirasaki Posts: 27 Member
    When you mention your success, you're highlighting her failure. You can still mention how well you're doing, just remember other people can feel bad about themselves when others are doing better than they are/doing what they can't.
  • shadowfax_c11
    shadowfax_c11 Posts: 1,942 Member
    Stop telling her about your success. It highlights her failure and makes her feel bad about herself. Friends don't do that to one another.

    Thing is you just don't need to tell people you are losing weight. It is pretty easy to see after a while. If people really want to know let them ask. Meanwhile discuss your diet here with other people who are interested in talking about the subject.
  • pootle1972
    pootle1972 Posts: 579 Member
    A lesson learned quickly.....only mention if asked .
  • Scamd83
    Scamd83 Posts: 808 Member
    geeta81 wrote: »
    Hey. So...
    My best friend and I have been on many diets before trying to lose weight one way or another.
    We both started this calorie counting one, but now shes lost motivation and I am determined to lose weight no matter what.
    As she's my best friend I thought she would be happy that I occasionally mention my weight loss and how am doing, but now she says i have become obsessed, I'm like WTF!?!
    I'm just serious about losing weight for me.

    I think she's either jealous that I've lost 13lb up to now or she's being selfish coz the attention isn't about her.

    Obvious solution, don't talk to her about weight loss, she doesn't want to hear it. If you're losing weight just for you, then no need to mention it to anyone else.
  • geeta81
    geeta81 Posts: 36 Member
    Thanks guys!
  • CrabNebula
    CrabNebula Posts: 1,119 Member
    shadowfax_c11 wrote: »
    Stop telling her about your success. It highlights her failure and makes her feel bad about herself. Friends don't do that to one another.

    Great, but there is going to become a point where just looking at her highlights the other one's failure. Is her getting or becoming a healthy weight period going to end the relationship at that point because of resentment?

  • geeta81
    geeta81 Posts: 36 Member
    Much appreciated advice!! Thank you
  • arditarose
    arditarose Posts: 15,573 Member
    My friend and I started this together almost two years ago. She lost like 5 pounds total and gained it back. She has told me that I sound a little obsessive and I know she doesn't want to hear about my losses and macros constantly. But you know what I've learned...NOBODY does. That's why I have an instrgram account now lol.
  • xmichaelyx
    xmichaelyx Posts: 883 Member
    edited April 2016
    Quick tip: People who are "trying a diet" tend to fail; people who adopt a healthy lifestyle succeed. Forever.

    Sorry about your friend.
  • geeta81
    geeta81 Posts: 36 Member
    Lesson learned Now! I am really excited that I have managed to lose so much weight and wanted to share with my best friend, I know for a fact she would have done the same, if it were the other way round.
    I hadn't realised it can be annoying and no one really cares......Lesson Learned...Keep My Gob Shut...
  • arditarose
    arditarose Posts: 15,573 Member
    geeta81 wrote: »
    Lesson learned Now! I am really excited that I have managed to lose so much weight and wanted to share with my best friend, I know for a fact she would have done the same, if it were the other way round.
    I hadn't realised it can be annoying and no one really cares......Lesson Learned...Keep My Gob Shut...

    lol. I still share sometimes if I reach a big milestone or something. I mean, we should be able to share things we are excited about with our friends. But I try to hold my tongue sometimes as well for balance. Having friends on here really helps.
  • geeta81
    geeta81 Posts: 36 Member
    xmichaelyx wrote: »
    Quick tip: People who are "trying a diet" tend to fail; people who adopt a healthy lifestyle succeed. Forever.

    Sorry about your friend.

    Thank you..... I just wanted to shout from the roof top that I've managed to do something I thought was impossible for me...

  • geeta81
    geeta81 Posts: 36 Member
    arditarose wrote: »
    geeta81 wrote: »
    Lesson learned Now! I am really excited that I have managed to lose so much weight and wanted to share with my best friend, I know for a fact she would have done the same, if it were the other way round.
    I hadn't realised it can be annoying and no one really cares......Lesson Learned...Keep My Gob Shut...

    lol. I still share sometimes if I reach a big milestone or something. I mean, we should be able to share things we are excited about with our friends. But I try to hold my tongue sometimes as well for balance. Having friends on here really helps.

    Thanks for the advice ! ☺
  • geeta81
    geeta81 Posts: 36 Member
    Tum22 wrote: »
    I must admit I love talking about dieting, weight loss etc and I do have a friend who is the same but not so much lately as someone once said to her people were bored of hearing about it but not me! I guess you'll just have to talk to other fitness pals on here! Good luck to you :smile:

    Thanks for that....good luck to u too!☺
  • geeta81
    geeta81 Posts: 36 Member
    abadvat wrote: »
    your interpretation might be right or maybe you have become annoying and self centred only talking about yourself?!

    Hmm!?!.... thanks for that point to ponder...
  • geeta81
    geeta81 Posts: 36 Member
    NA1979 wrote: »
    People who lose weight are right to be proud, but there is nothing quite more annoying than going on about how much you've lost, I've done it before and have been told to shut up lol. Anyway if your friend doesn't seem to want to know just talk about something else!

    Thanx and point noted..☺
  • geeta81
    geeta81 Posts: 36 Member
    pootle1972 wrote: »
    A lesson learned quickly.....only mention if asked .

    Thanks! Noted ☺
  • punkrockgoth
    punkrockgoth Posts: 534 Member
    pootle1972 wrote: »
    A lesson learned quickly.....only mention if asked .

    Yup. Also, they never want to hear that you lost the weight by eating less and moving more.
  • arditarose
    arditarose Posts: 15,573 Member
    punkrockgoth wrote: »
    pootle1972 wrote: »
    A lesson learned quickly.....only mention if asked .

    Yup. Also, they never want to hear that you lost the weight by eating less and moving more.

    Nope. Not sexy enough. Everyone looks at me like "...wut?"
  • Therealobi1
    Therealobi1 Posts: 3,262 Member
    geeta81 wrote: »
    xmichaelyx wrote: »
    Quick tip: People who are "trying a diet" tend to fail; people who adopt a healthy lifestyle succeed. Forever.

    Sorry about your friend.

    Thank you..... I just wanted to shout from the roof top that I've managed to do something I thought was impossible for me...

    Well done on your weight loss so far, don't let your best friend make you feel funny
    You can talk as much as you like about it with your MFP friends they will understand like some real life friends can't
  • AskTracyAnnK28
    AskTracyAnnK28 Posts: 2,817 Member
    geeta81 wrote: »
    Lesson learned Now! I am really excited that I have managed to lose so much weight and wanted to share with my best friend, I know for a fact she would have done the same, if it were the other way round.
    I hadn't realised it can be annoying and no one really cares......Lesson Learned...Keep My Gob Shut...

    Well, now you can always come here where this sort of excitement about weight loss is encouraged and welcome :)

    I used to post progress photos on my Facebook page as I was losing weight, but I was afraid that people would start to get annoyed so I pretty much stopped. The last photo I posted was a few weeks ago with my before photo (at 213 pounds) and my after photo (137 pounds). I guess I'll have to shut up about it now...

  • flaminica
    flaminica Posts: 304 Member
    So, you are losing weight successfully because you're motivated and making an effort. Your friend is not, because she's not motivated and not making an effort, but it's your problem and you should shut up and not talk about it?

    I don't agree. Sure, don't natter on nonstop about your weight (or your health, or your job, or anything else really) because no one likes boasting and bragging, but your friend is the one with the problem, not you. You are doing a fantastic job transforming your life. You have a right to be proud. You are under no obligation to censor yourself to shield other people from their self-perceived failures.
  • DaisyHamilton
    DaisyHamilton Posts: 575 Member
    Everyone here seems so negative. My best friend has fallen off the wagon even though I stayed on from almost a month ago and she tells me how great I'm doing and high fives me every time I tell her that I've lose weight/inches.
  • geeta81
    geeta81 Posts: 36 Member
    Therealobi1 wrote: »
    geeta81 wrote: »
    xmichaelyx wrote: »
    Quick tip: People who are "trying a diet" tend to fail; people who adopt a healthy lifestyle succeed. Forever.

    Sorry about your friend.

    Thank you..... I just wanted to shout from the roof top that I've managed to do something I thought was impossible for me...

    Well done on your weight loss so far, don't let your best friend make you feel funny
    You can talk as much as you like about it with your MFP friends they will understand like some real life friends can't

    Thanks makes me feel abit better...☺
  • geeta81
    geeta81 Posts: 36 Member
    AskTracyAnnK28 wrote: »
    geeta81 wrote: »
    Lesson learned Now! I am really excited that I have managed to lose so much weight and wanted to share with my best friend, I know for a fact she would have done the same, if it were the other way round.
    I hadn't realised it can be annoying and no one really cares......Lesson Learned...Keep My Gob Shut...

    Well, now you can always come here where this sort of excitement about weight loss is encouraged and welcome :)

    I used to post progress photos on my Facebook page as I was losing weight, but I was afraid that people would start to get annoyed so I pretty much stopped. The last photo I posted was a few weeks ago with my before photo (at 213 pounds) and my after photo (137 pounds). I guess I'll have to shut up about it now...

    Awww well that's brill!!! Well done you! Your doing great! ☺☺☺
  • positivepowers
    positivepowers Posts: 902 Member
    If she feels guilty or ashamed of losing her motivation, she may be projecting what she considers her failure on to you. She doesn't want to hear about or see your success because it reminds her of what she considers her lack of success. Keep doing what you're doing. She may come around when she sees that success is possible.

    I know this takes a bit of your support system away. I hope you have others to help you through this.

Categories