My husband and I do not diet together well.
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hannahmattison31 wrote: »Sorry, let me clarify. He's a PA, so just a step down from MD. He's not some quack at a gym somewhere. I was referred to him by my PCP.
And yes, unfortunately my husband does have an "all or nothing" mentality. Drives me insane in times like these. Even the nutritionist said we don't have to cut out meat and dairy completely. He said to dramatically reduce it. So his ideal is probably somewhere around 5% meat and dairy. It's my husband that is the nut job in this situation.You both sound frustrated. If you both truly went from fast food to vegan for your health, then yeah, I can see him resenting if you cheat. But you don't know if that's what's bothering him until you ask him. Just talk to him! You can both get it out and then have some black bean tacos.
I can agree. It is the other way around in my house but I do not make an issue about diets because at my age I really do not want to be single again.
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I need to lose 60 lbs. My husband is tall and thin. I would never suggest to him that he needs to change his eating habits because of what I did to myself. I'm pretty sure we would both be miserable. We just make separate meals and do our own thing. It works for us.
Your weight loss efforts will have greater chance for success if you just start by eating the foods you like in smaller portions to hit yourcalorie target daily.0 -
You and your husband both sound horribly codependent. You should look into marriage counseling.0
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I didn't read everything, but my best advice is to stop talking about it. I have the most supportive partner honestly, he's incredibly helpful and is willing to go along with any changes I've suggested. But I can tell that my obsession over the scale and "-.6" of a pound down starts to bother him. Some big things I comment on but I never complain any more. When we sit down with huge salads and a small portion of noodles I don't whine and lament over what I miss, I celebrate a great choice.
I don't know you or your relationship but being on the same diet seems silly. Pick something sustainable that you can both do (idk like just eating less of the same foods....) that way he eats what he wants and you moderate your portion sizes to appropriate amounts.0 -
OP - are you using this app to weigh & log your food?0
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Have you tried light therapy for your psoriasis? My husband had severe psoriasis and did light therapy for about 9 months. It really cleared up his skin, no more outbreaks. He also does the injections for his psoriatic arthritis.0
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My husband is a rough man. A very good man just rough around the edges if you will. He thinks he can motivate me by snarky comments. For example if I am over snacking he will make a comment like "haven't you had enough". If you tell my husband he can not do something he will do it and with perfection. I have tried to explain to him the negative feedback shuts me down. We are very different in that way. Sometimes in marriage communication really is key. Also understanding your spouse. You can not change him. You can change the way you receive his words and try to communicate to him that you would like only positive reinforcement and that you need grace with this diet and that you know yourself and you know an extreme change will cause you to fall back. It will be a process for you both. It's for my husband and I. But marriage is all about growing and being a better spouse no matter what your spouse says or does. I know this doesn't seem like much help but I promise it will get better!0
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Feliciam4christ wrote: »My husband is a rough man. A very good man just rough around the edges if you will. He thinks he can motivate me by snarky comments. For example if I am over snacking he will make a comment like "haven't you had enough". If you tell my husband he can not do something he will do it and with perfection. I have tried to explain to him the negative feedback shuts me down. We are very different in that way. Sometimes in marriage communication really is key. Also understanding your spouse. You can not change him. You can change the way you receive his words and try to communicate to him that you would like only positive reinforcement and that you need grace with this diet and that you know yourself and you know an extreme change will cause you to fall back. It will be a process for you both. It's for my husband and I. But marriage is all about growing and being a better spouse no matter what your spouse says or does. I know this doesn't seem like much help but I promise it will get better!
This is exactly the conversation we ended up having last night and your husband sounds EXACTLY like mine! I was explaining to him how unsustainable this diet is, and he disagrees. But whatever.
Also, I would like everyone to note that I did NOT force him into this at all. I just told him that I had a meeting with a nutritionist and he went with me and took his word as the gospel truth. Fine. We tried it. What is upsetting to him is me coming to my own conclusion about what is going to work for me (CICO). He thinks I'm making a mistake by straying from the diet at all. Maybe I am, but I know I won't do this forever.
And yes, I am now using this app religiously for food and exercise logging. I have been for almost a week and I like that I feel a lot more free with my food choices.0 -
MindyBruno wrote: »Have you tried light therapy for your psoriasis? My husband had severe psoriasis and did light therapy for about 9 months. It really cleared up his skin, no more outbreaks. He also does the injections for his psoriatic arthritis.
I have! And it worked, but my skin was changing color. Very odd. My dermatologist was stumped. So we just decided it wasn't for me.0 -
Also, I am not whining. If you think I am, kindly *kitten* off.
What started the fight was me texting him jokingly hey, I did something bad he's like what? I said I ate a cup noodle. And he flipped. In our relationship, we always tell each other when we do something "bad" jokingly (for example, buying a bunch of video games or sleeping in until noon or whatever).-1 -
I'm glad you are using this app to weigh & log your intake. That is a huge step in the right direction. Good for you!!0
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You need to see a dietician. Anyone can claim to be a nutritionist, it's not a protected medical title.
Someone who is a PA does not have proper medical training to assign a diet for someone that is hovering at 50%.
Please seek a dietitian ASAP.0 -
To your original question - yes, you should diet alone, if your hubby is getting a bit frustrated being your diet partner. It sounds like you're motivated to do this by yourself and that he doesn't need the restrictions, anyway.0
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hannahmattison31 wrote: »Also, I am not whining. If you think I am, kindly *kitten* off.
What started the fight was me texting him jokingly hey, I did something bad he's like what? I said I ate a cup noodle. And he flipped. In our relationship, we always tell each other when we do something "bad" jokingly (for example, buying a bunch of video games or sleeping in until noon or whatever).
Those really are one of the most horrible things that you could possibly eat, from a nutritional standpoint.
Not to mention that they are full of palm oil, the production of which is responsible for deforestation and slavery in several parts of the world. Then there is the environmental irresponsible of the packaging...
It's really a very bad choice.
If someone I loved who was drowning due to obesity chose to eat something like that--I think that I would be beyond disappointed. The whole dynamic of telling each other when you have been "bad" doesn't seem like a great idea.
P.S. You are most definitely whining...and seriously overreacting to the opinions of people who are trying to help you. It sounds like you have a lot of growing up to do.0 -
azulvioleta6 wrote: »hannahmattison31 wrote: »Also, I am not whining. If you think I am, kindly *kitten* off.
What started the fight was me texting him jokingly hey, I did something bad he's like what? I said I ate a cup noodle. And he flipped. In our relationship, we always tell each other when we do something "bad" jokingly (for example, buying a bunch of video games or sleeping in until noon or whatever).
Those really are one of the most horrible things that you could possibly eat, from a nutritional standpoint.
Not to mention that they are full of palm oil, the production of which is responsible for deforestation and slavery in several parts of the world. Then there is the environmental irresponsible of the packaging...
It's really a very bad choice.
If someone I loved who was drowning due to obesity chose to eat something like that--I think that I would be beyond disappointed. The whole dynamic of telling each other when you have been "bad" doesn't seem like a great idea.
P.S. You are most definitely whining...and seriously overreacting to the opinions of people who are trying to help you. It sounds like you have a lot of growing up to do.
Because she ate noodles. Right... Sounds legit0 -
azulvioleta6 wrote: »hannahmattison31 wrote: »Also, I am not whining. If you think I am, kindly *kitten* off.
What started the fight was me texting him jokingly hey, I did something bad he's like what? I said I ate a cup noodle. And he flipped. In our relationship, we always tell each other when we do something "bad" jokingly (for example, buying a bunch of video games or sleeping in until noon or whatever).
Those really are one of the most horrible things that you could possibly eat, from a nutritional standpoint.
Not to mention that they are full of palm oil, the production of which is responsible for deforestation and slavery in several parts of the world. Then there is the environmental irresponsible of the packaging...
It's really a very bad choice.
If someone I loved who was drowning due to obesity chose to eat something like that--I think that I would be beyond disappointed. The whole dynamic of telling each other when you have been "bad" doesn't seem like a great idea.
P.S. You are most definitely whining...and seriously overreacting to the opinions of people who are trying to help you. It sounds like you have a lot of growing up to do.
Because she ate noodles. Right... Sounds legit
Not pasta in general, cup noodles in particular. You might want to educate yourself on the issue...Nissin and Maruchan are the worst brands:
https://worldwildlife.org/magazine/issues/winter-2013/articles/use-your-noodle
http://www.alternet.org/environment/how-instant-ramen-noodles-are-destroying-rainforests-killing-orangutans-and-promoting
saynotopalmoil.com/Whats_the_issue.php
Then there is the nutrition--cup noodles are pretty much the most processed food that you could possibly eat--high in simple carbs and high in trans fats. Some brands have a day's worth of sodium in a single serving. They are not filling and do not contain significant protein, so you are going to be hungry again very soon.
It's a seriously bad choice.0 -
azulvioleta6 wrote: »azulvioleta6 wrote: »hannahmattison31 wrote: »Also, I am not whining. If you think I am, kindly *kitten* off.
What started the fight was me texting him jokingly hey, I did something bad he's like what? I said I ate a cup noodle. And he flipped. In our relationship, we always tell each other when we do something "bad" jokingly (for example, buying a bunch of video games or sleeping in until noon or whatever).
Those really are one of the most horrible things that you could possibly eat, from a nutritional standpoint.
Not to mention that they are full of palm oil, the production of which is responsible for deforestation and slavery in several parts of the world. Then there is the environmental irresponsible of the packaging...
It's really a very bad choice.
If someone I loved who was drowning due to obesity chose to eat something like that--I think that I would be beyond disappointed. The whole dynamic of telling each other when you have been "bad" doesn't seem like a great idea.
P.S. You are most definitely whining...and seriously overreacting to the opinions of people who are trying to help you. It sounds like you have a lot of growing up to do.
Because she ate noodles. Right... Sounds legit
Not pasta in general, cup noodles in particular. You might want to educate yourself on the issue...Nissin and Maruchan are the worst brands:
https://worldwildlife.org/magazine/issues/winter-2013/articles/use-your-noodle
http://www.alternet.org/environment/how-instant-ramen-noodles-are-destroying-rainforests-killing-orangutans-and-promoting
saynotopalmoil.com/Whats_the_issue.php
Then there is the nutrition--cup noodles are pretty much the most processed food that you could possibly eat--high in simple carbs and high in trans fats. Some brands have a day's worth of sodium in a single serving. They are not filling and do not contain significant protein, so you are going to be hungry again very soon.
It's a seriously bad choice.
Only the individual can judge their own satiety. For me, not every single food item has to be about satiety either. It could just be I want to eat it, possibly along with something else
Strangely enough, I'm thinking none of this is why OP's husband had a cow. It wasn't on their weirdo diet so he freaked out over it. In this case, the person eating the damn noodles is the normal one, IMO0 -
I know for me the reason I have been losing weight for three months is because I am no longer following a bunch of food rules. I am just eating within my calories.
For you and your psoriasis there are obviously some other concerns about what is best for you and I am not aware of those, but not all nutritionists are actually experts on best diets for certain conditions. It is probably more a case of just some foods you should avoid. I do know my cousins husband has bad psoriasis and he certainly eats meat, but there are other foods he avoids.0 -
This nutritionist may be a PA but unless he additionally has a 4 year education in a dietetics BS and took the national test to become a registered dietitian, he's not a dietitian. It concerns me that he's suggesting vegan diets to people unless they REALLY want to. Going from a really unhealthy diet to a sudden "clean"(gross) diet is pretty much a setup for failure. I have a higher BMI than you do, OP, and my R.D. who I have seen in the past would never try to enforce such a drastic change on me.0
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Wow...complicate things much?0
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I would definitely have it out with my wife if she made me go on a vegan diet. Its one thing to be supportive and eat better, but such a drastic dietary change would make me a grumpy old man.
FWIW: she'd never do that, she's as much a fan of bacon as anyone.0 -
LavenderLeaves wrote: »This nutritionist may be a PA but unless he additionally has a 4 year education in a dietetics BS and took the national test to become a registered dietitian, he's not a dietitian. It concerns me that he's suggesting vegan diets to people unless they REALLY want to. Going from a really unhealthy diet to a sudden "clean"(gross) diet is pretty much a setup for failure. I have a higher BMI than you do, OP, and my R.D. who I have seen in the past would never try to enforce such a drastic change on me.
He actually didn't say vegan, OP and her spouse just decided to equate vegetable-based with vegan... Skipping over about ten levels of other legit vegetable based diets.0 -
LOL my fiance eats and drinks all he wants and I LOOK at food and gain weight/fat. Anyone feel free to add me for accountability.0
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Ok, my nutritionist DOES endorse not eating meat or dairy. Which is vegan. But he also says if we cheat every once in a while it's not going to hurt us. Basically he doesn't like to use to word vegan because it doesn't include everything that I'm trying to cut out. For example if I try to tell someone I'm vegan they automatically try to shove tofu in my face. I get that they're trying to help, but I'm actually not supposed to have a ton of that either.
Also, azulvioleta6, seriously? I think you have some growing up to do. I ate ONE cup noodle. You are overreacting. I don't care if that disgusts you. It is one of my favorite things. I ate one in one month's time. I will not die. I will not get cancer. I hate people who are healthy (or think they are) and look down on other people because they think they are so much healthier. I continue to lose weight and have amazing blood work. So I guess I'm doing it right.
JaneiR36 Thank you! Seriously, people need to chill. "OMG, SO PROCESSED EWW" like honey I eat healthier than you 90% of the time I guarantee it. I will have a cup noodle if I please.
LavendarLeaves I would take his advise over anyone's in this thread any day of the week. I actually asked him yesterday. He has an undergrad in physiology, plus his master's to become a PA, and he has devoted "thousands of hours of independent study and research into medical nutrition therapy." He then obtained some kind of medical nutrition certification from Cornell. Most of the people on this thread who are trying to shove information down my throat probably never even went to college, and get most of their information from a two minute Google search. And my PCP also backs him up, which is why she sent me to him. Now, unless someone on this thread thinks they have MORE experience and education than my PCP and PA then I don't think you should be calling into question their background. And he didn't force me to change overnight, that was my HUSBAND. He literally gave away or threw out all of our food that didn't conform to this new diet.
Good lord. I'm about to abandon this thread. What a train wreck. Again, this is medical nutrition therapy. He thinks this will also help my autoimmune disease and give me significant weight loss, so why not give it a try?0 -
Also, I've decided to stick to the diet as much as possible and track my calories. The worst part about this diet isn't even not eating meat. It's dealing with people who "disagree" with my diet and want to argue about it. I have incorrect information flying at me from all sides. If anyone is curious as to what my diet is actually about, Forks Over Knives is a pretty good place to start. If someone wants to add me for motivation or encouragement, feel free. This thread is just a bummer now and mostly unhelpful.0
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@hannahmattison31 I read some on the non animal eating program. As with most every diet there is validity for some at some level. The diet that works for you to give you the health marker results that you want is the right diet for you in my view. I went to the Fork Over Knives and watched the free trailer to the $11.99 movie and it was interesting.
I find my simple diet of eating <50 grams of carbs daily freaks out 99% of people if I talk to them about it. Unless I am in a mood for a non productive conversation I just do not mention my WOE.
The more out of the norm our Way Of Eating is the more our WOE will be attacked. Stick with FOK if you enjoy it and it gives you the results you expect. Reading post on MFP that are 180 degrees different WOE helps learn more and I do tweak my WOE when I find data that requires me to revisit my current diet. Best of success.0 -
hannahmattison31 wrote: »Also, I've decided to stick to the diet as much as possible and track my calories. The worst part about this diet isn't even not eating meat. It's dealing with people who "disagree" with my diet and want to argue about it. I have incorrect information flying at me from all sides. If anyone is curious as to what my diet is actually about, Forks Over Knives is a pretty good place to start. If someone wants to add me for motivation or encouragement, feel free. This thread is just a bummer now and mostly unhelpful.
Sorry this thread has taken a downward spiral for you. OMG so sorry. Welcome to the nastiness of the forums!
I am glad you are tracking your calories. That's a huge, huge step in the right direction. I hope you check out this information....when I started, I wished i had had this info in front of me. Very valuable.
Pretty much the first post on this (I think the actual thread is around 33pages). First post has links, too. Very helpful.
http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/1080242/a-guide-to-get-you-started-on-your-path-to-sexypants/p10 -
DancingMoosie wrote: »Why do you have to go completely vegan? A whole foods, plant based diet does not necessarily mean vegan, it just means that most of your foods should be. Think something around 80/20% (80% whole foods, 20% anything else.) I get how you want to be healthier, but it doesn't have to be all or nothing. Take baby steps. Start with one meal a day, and gradually expand it. You need to make changes you can stick with and that make you feel better, physically and mentally.
Exactly this.
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