Anyone blow off an event due to embarrassment over weight?

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  • DearestWinter
    DearestWinter Posts: 595 Member
    hamptontom wrote: »
    i'm gonna step up and shoulder the brutally honest burden, here...because you need to consider that your grandmother, much as you may love her for whatever reason, is an *kitten*.

    kind people, people with good hearts, people who have other people's best interests in mind, don't do $h!t like walk up to their own flesh and blood, grab them by their midsection, and go "jiggle, jiggle, jiggle".

    i'm willing to bet that there are people in your life who'd love you at twice your current weight, and the challenge you should be undertaking is finding ways to involve THEM in your life more, at the expense of people who'd say some $h!t like that to you.

    of course, someone will ultimately say, "but they're just making a joke...they're just trying to be funny...."

    sure, they are. but that ain't how it's done.

    life's too short to seek the approval of d0ucheb@gs. i bet you'd be amazed at how much psychological weight you'd shed if you managed to cut them loose.

    ^^ This. Just because grandma is old doesn't mean we have to let her be a b#%!

    What she did was awful. Maybe that's her means of "gently" encouraging you to lose weight but it's never too late for her to learn it's inappropriate. If it happens again I hope you can tell her "Do not touch me like that. When you make a mocking comment about my weight it is offensive and makes me feel like you don't respect me and you don't enjoy my presence."

    I also don't place any stock in the opinions of people who lack fundamental respect for others. What they think is completely irrelevant until they demonstrate some compassion.
  • azulvioleta6
    azulvioleta6 Posts: 4,195 Member
    holly_roman wrote: »
    I concur to please not focus on losing weight while pregnant. It didn't seem like it with your second post but I just wanted to jump right out there and say it. You are growing a little you in there and that takes a lot of work not to mention good food ;) .
    Now to the wedding, I would personally go and if she grabs you again like that grab her cheeks and say 'my your getting old..look at those wrinkles'. lol that will stop her. Or you can brush it off with a simple, 'I am supposed to be fat, I am growing another person in here you know'. whatever you decide don't feel like you should miss it b/c others are a**holes. Be proud of you and your body. GL.

    It does not, however, require consuming a lot of extra calories. The calorie increase is only 200/day, and that does not start until the second trimester.

    There are several new studies out showing that obese women can safely maintain their weight or even lose a bit while pregnant. Not every pregnant woman should be gaining weight.

    The idea that it is an excuse to eat more is NOT scientifically correct.

    I agree that a new OB-GYN is in order--this one is not meeting a basic standard of care.
  • LemonadeCandy_
    LemonadeCandy_ Posts: 195 Member
    I have skipped events and get-togethers because of my weight and regret it every time, although a lot of my shame comes from my ED.

    Go to the shower. You'll have a great time surrounded by people who care about you and you can support your loved one!
  • mell4now
    mell4now Posts: 33 Member
    I love my grandmother, I just hate her obsession with body images. She is an extremely generous person as well and spends close to $800/yr on each or her 6 grandchildren between the holidays and birthday. Because she is so generous I do feel as if I should not retaliate by returning her criticizing with criticizim. I did however tell her that I will never be as thin as any of my cousins, and in sorry that I do not live up to her standard of beauty. So she eased up on directly criticizing me, but makes a point of criticizing herself (and her normal weight and heathy diet) saying that she is sooo mad when she gains a pound, and that she looks so fat etc etc...
  • missspooky9
    missspooky9 Posts: 1 Member
    If you hide yourself away from functions, you can set yourself into an isolation depression....and with depression comes eating, well with me it does. To be honest I was at my heaviest and then got pregnant. In a way it was kind of nice, because ppl say "oh well she's pregnant" and judge you less for your eating habits. While you shouldnt try and go on a diet, you can def carb count a little. I gained 11 lbs with my pregnancy, which is insane, but i had gest diabetes, so i had to carb count big time. Then after I had my baby I weighed 10 lbs less. Of course I gained it back, so Im here ;) But yes, enjoy yourself!!!
  • justBreathe33
    justBreathe33 Posts: 46 Member
    Yep. Too ashamed to go to my high school reunion.
  • mell4now
    mell4now Posts: 33 Member
    Thanks for all the feedback.
  • Bromat2015
    Bromat2015 Posts: 1 Member
    The most important thing is taking care of your babies and their mama! I skipped my cousins wedding a few years back for the same reason. I had a lot of guilt and anxiety over not going. I weighed my options but the thought of going was more difficult for me. i had just lost my dad and was in a vulnerable place with two babies. At that time in my life I know I made the best choice for myself. And, I have no regrets. Today I'm in a much better place and know that we are all much more than a number on a scale. Ive since been to many family functions (with my weight going up and down), Your worth is much greater than your weight :) Best to you...
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