Stair Climber From Hell

TammyLanham
TammyLanham Posts: 109 Member
Okay – A little over 2 weeks ago, I began a journey to being healthier. No, I don’t sell weight loss stuff, I don’t endorse any gym equipment… heck, I don’t even LIKE working out.

Jacobs-Stair-2I started going to the gym M-F. The first day, I walked on the treadmill 10 minutes, worked on the elliptical for 10 minutes and looked at that scary machine in the corner – the stair climber. I saw what it did to people. Sometimes it tried to eat people. It turned great big muscular men into sniveling, panting, weaklings. Sure, people would start out running up those things but they soon learned. And I knew – because I watched what it did to people. I ran home trembling in fear.

The next day, I did the same on the treadmill and elliptical but got brave enough to go figure out how to turn on that stair climber. I watched a girl run up those stairs for about 20 minutes and although she was breathing fast, she walked away alive. Seemingly undamaged from this simple machine. So I could do this, right?? Oh, how cocky I had become.

Rocky Balboa stepsI climbed on with the Rocky theme music thundering in my ears. I’m gonna conquer these steps…. I can do it! I had a goal of 1000 steps. That should be easy, right??? The girl I watched run up those stairs did over 3000. I started off slow and kept a steady pace. Well – this isn’t so bad. My knees are holding up okay, my breathing is steadily getting more labored but I’m doing it! I look around at the people in the gym wondering if they can hear the0 Rocky theme playing, too? I wonder why they’re not staring, even applauding in admiration of this great feat of strength and courage I have begun.

I begin to feel a little more winded. A little weaker in the legs. I had already done an entire 10 minutes on the treadmill AND 10 minutes on the elliptical so I’m already plumb exhausted, remember? ;) I began to pant, like those strong men I had seen… but no, no, no…. that wouldn’t happen to me, right? I’m taking it slow and steady… Geesh, I must have gone nearly 1000 steps by now, right?

There’s a little screen that shows how many steps you’ve gone.

I’m on #18.

I’m not kidding.

Suddenly, the Rocky theme stopped. All of those images in my head of me victoriously dancing at the top of this machine for all the gym patrons to applaud my efforts well – kinda died. And I became a sniveling, panting, weakling – just another victim of the stair climber from Hell. I did make it to 100 steps but was sucking wind and thought I was going to vomit right there by the treadmill. Rocky never vomited.

But I went home elated that I even climbed on that stupid thing.

stairsNext day, I went back. There was a guy on the stair climber struggling – big muscular guy…. I’m sure at one point he was strong but that machine was doing it to him – turning him into a sniveling, panting weakling. Why are these people letting this machine do this to them??? Why do they put themselves through the torture?

You won’t believe this. That stupid stair machine called my name. It mocked me. It told me I could never be Rocky. It taunted me so badly that I HAD to get on it and teach it a lesson. I could do 100 steps again… I did it once and survived….that’s right.

Oh, I was, once again, quite cocky. It turned me into a sniveling, panting weakling BUT I made it to 111 first! Oooh, I felt like I had conquered it, at least for the moment.

Each day, I added a few more steps. Then, THEN, I was really going to teach it a lesson! I introduced that stair machine to my husband, Tommy Lanham! He’s the strongest, most determined man I know. Bet you can’t take HIM you silly stair climber!

We climbed on the side-by-side machines and began to climb. Tommy asked me to hum the music to Rocky. I just smiled wondering if he knew that had been going on inside my head. He knows me well. We climbed and pushed and sweated and you know something? That machine turned my husband into a sniveling, panting weakling, too! What in the world!?!

stairs3Tommy began going with me to the gym – yep, TRUE LOVE right there, folks! But I think Tommy heard that machine’s taunting, too. I think that’s how it gets ya – sucks you right in. We are helpless victims.

I’m proud to announce, that 2 weeks later, Tommy and I each climbed 750 steps today! Yeah, it’s not quite my initial goal of 1000 but you know what, it’s a whole lot better than the 100 I did that first day. I am now able to go over 2 miles on the elliptical (in about 30 minutes) and I take a weekly Body Pump class. (FYI: this may be TMI but I’m proud that I can now take the Body Pump class and still sit and get off the toilet without assistance the next day!) I call that progress, folks!

And so far, that stair climber from Hell hasn’t won. Yes, it still taunts me, but I’m still going, baby! And I’m not stopping!

Oh yeah – I weighed in this Tuesday at 206.2. :) I’ll take that.
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Replies

  • meritage4
    meritage4 Posts: 1,441 Member
    love it. Keep it up!
  • kimbalion23
    kimbalion23 Posts: 491 Member
    Very enjoyable read. Let us know when you hit 1000.
  • valente347
    valente347 Posts: 201 Member
    I loved reading this! Congratulations and keep us posted. :D
  • Snipsa
    Snipsa Posts: 172 Member
    Loved this. I just started visiting the gym about two weeks ago, and am scared ****less of that stair climber.

    I finally got over my fear of the rower and did a full 15 minutes on it this morning :wink:

    Now to get all cocky and try the stair climber from hell on my next visit
  • snowflake930
    snowflake930 Posts: 2,188 Member
    LOL, great story!
    My first day at the gym, a young man climbed on the stair climber and was going full out for the whole time I was on the elliptical. That was 1/25/15. To this day I have not had the nerve to go near that piece of equipment.
    Congratulations on your success with the "dreaded" machine.
    Maybe I will give it a try tomorrow.
  • lisaisso
    lisaisso Posts: 337 Member
    Hahaha... good for you Rocky!
  • pldavis10
    pldavis10 Posts: 67 Member
    Such a fun read! I was cheering for you all the way.
  • TammyLanham
    TammyLanham Posts: 109 Member
    Oh wow guys - thanks for the encouragement! *grinning from ear to ear*.....
  • sherocks98
    sherocks98 Posts: 25 Member
    Very funny post
  • janellsosajs
    janellsosajs Posts: 57 Member
    Great story! Felt like I was there being a gym spectator. Keep it up Rocky!
  • stephyc2016
    stephyc2016 Posts: 46 Member
    I loved this post!! I have to know when you hit 1,000 steps and you have to post a picture of you doing a Rocky victory at the end!! <3
  • Orphia
    Orphia Posts: 7,097 Member
    Hahaha, so funny, and a very nicely written piece! Well done all round, Rocky!
  • igor1187
    igor1187 Posts: 11 Member
    Great Story. You have to tell us about the day you get to 1000
  • sarahkanzalone
    sarahkanzalone Posts: 192 Member
    Loved this motivated me to try the stepper when I get to the gym next
  • AidaF430
    AidaF430 Posts: 173 Member
    What a great success story! :D My elliptical is the machine from hell for me! Ugh 20 mins is like full out torture, but I do it and I haven't died yet so that's a win! :D Definitely let us know when you hit 1000 and post a Rocky style pic, it'll be well deserved!
  • CrabNebula
    CrabNebula Posts: 1,119 Member
    edited April 2016
    Sweet. I have wanted to kill myself on try one of those things myself.
  • PaigeInTechnicolor
    PaigeInTechnicolor Posts: 164 Member
    Love this story sooooo much!
  • AmandaLawter
    AmandaLawter Posts: 55 Member
    Ha, I love this! I laughed all the way through reading this......only because I went through the same exact thing with that stair climber! I added a little more each day, and then I became obsessed with it. I no longer go to the gym, and I miss that thing so much! It always felt great to see my sweat drops all over the machine when I was done. I've tried to run up and down the stairs in my house, but it's just not the same. :'(
  • Plump2FitPanaQT
    Plump2FitPanaQT Posts: 121 Member
    Loved how this was written :love: good job!! keep it up!! :triumph:
  • zdyb23456
    zdyb23456 Posts: 1,706 Member
    2 thumbs up - that's awesome!
  • des_1218
    des_1218 Posts: 12 Member
    Loved reading this! You show that evil stepper who's boss!
  • Ohiomom91
    Ohiomom91 Posts: 34 Member
    Great gym story. My first time, with a trainer too, she had me get on the elliptical . It felt like I was going to die. She said "Tracy it's been 90 seconds you can go 5 minutes" REALLY???? I continued baby steps adding a little each day and felt like I conquered that machine when I made it 60 minutes! After ankle surgery and self pity I've been away from it and can only do 15 minutes but I'll get there again
  • besdais
    besdais Posts: 76 Member
    Excellent post - loved reading it. Way to go!
  • VanetteMcG
    VanetteMcG Posts: 35 Member
    :D
  • Sherriediva1
    Sherriediva1 Posts: 345 Member
    You're better than I am! I got on, but when I realized my fitbit wasn't giving me steps for it, I got right off!
  • Snipsa
    Snipsa Posts: 172 Member
    You're better than I am! I got on, but when I realized my fitbit wasn't giving me steps for it, I got right off!

    What fitbit are you using? Due to this post (thanks Tammy!) I finally conquered my fear yesterday morning and got on the stair climber.

    My fitbit charge hr added both steps and floors. I did not hold on to the railings, so that could have been a difference...
  • funfitfreeme
    funfitfreeme Posts: 64 Member
    Sooo... funny. Thanks for the laugh. The Stairmaster was once my favorite cardio machine. Now you've lit that fire again!
  • Stripeymitten
    Stripeymitten Posts: 74 Member
    Brilliant post, so funny. Congratulations on your successes. You got this!
  • sansbuda
    sansbuda Posts: 22 Member
    Great post! And that toilet thing - we've all been there. :smiley:
  • smcrimmon84
    smcrimmon84 Posts: 135 Member
    HAHAH! I love this. My stairmaster experience was rather similar - I could only handle 5 minutes when I started! 2 months later..I can do an hour and have significantly upped the speed. I love it! Such a good cardio workout on my non-run days and it REALLY builds the booty! ;)
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