Pretty sure I will be fat forever

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  • JustMissTracy
    JustMissTracy Posts: 6,338 Member
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    Someone important (evades me) said something like "Whether you think you can or you think you can't, you're right." ;)
  • smit7633
    smit7633 Posts: 182 Member
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    That seems like a lot of calories for someone who is 5'1" you might need to do some research to understand how many calories you really need
  • eldamiano
    eldamiano Posts: 2,667 Member
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    Pull yourself together....
  • TechOutside
    TechOutside Posts: 101 Member
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    I have fought body issues as a man all my life. It's never been good enough, I'm never fighting hard enough. Just never enough.. ever.

    I have come to the conclusion that I will never be Brad Pitt, Mark Wahlburg, or Vin Diesel.. Ever. No matter what I do I will never look like them, it is impossible, but really why would I want to look like someone else, when I am ME?

    What I can be is the very best version of me that I can be. If that means that I miss a few workouts, or eat more than I wanted, or fluctuate with my weight, food, and workouts, then it's fine as long as I get back on the horse. I am doing this for the best version of me that "I" can. If I had people making my meals, watching my kids, training me on my workouts, then I could come close to Vin Diesel, But I don't have any of those things.

    Do it for your health, and know that there will be roadblocks, lots of them, that will try to get in the way, but as a lifestyle choice you can continue to work to be the best version of you.

    There isn't anyone who can give 100% ,100% of the time, over the long haul. Something has to give and you are the only one that can get back into the fight and measure what is good enough for you.
  • SnackHips
    SnackHips Posts: 90 Member
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    Update. Thanks everyone. I did a lot of "soul searching" on this one. It was definitely mental. I grew up poor and often didn't have food. I never thought about how that effected me as an adult. When I hit my mid-twenties the weight started to pile on. So I have been thinking about it and I think the childhood thing contributed to feeling very emotionally disturbed by hunger. Intense anxiety, depression, etc. And only knowing to eat high carb sugary foods until I'm stuffed to stop it. I'm working with my counselor now. I will update again in a month or so. Hoping for real progress.
  • Pathmonkey
    Pathmonkey Posts: 108 Member
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    SnackHips wrote: »
    Update. Thanks everyone. I did a lot of "soul searching" on this one. It was definitely mental. I grew up poor and often didn't have food. I never thought about how that effected me as an adult. When I hit my mid-twenties the weight started to pile on. So I have been thinking about it and I think the childhood thing contributed to feeling very emotionally disturbed by hunger. Intense anxiety, depression, etc. And only knowing to eat high carb sugary foods until I'm stuffed to stop it. I'm working with my counselor now. I will update again in a month or so. Hoping for real progress.

    Please do update, we care! Add me and feel free to reach out anytime. Pulling for you!
  • TNFirefly
    TNFirefly Posts: 169 Member
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    I'm so glad you have figured it out. I am writing because I have a similar issue, and have also figured out some things that are changing the way I think about this one. Although for me, I have been wavering between 430-470 pounds, so it's a bit of a different neighborhood, but the same issue. I will start to lose weight, get to that point where people notice it, then flip out and spike back up over 460. I see my progress graph and it looks like a city skyline - downward sloping then spiking up. my mother was a sociopathic narcissist and there are more childhood body related traumas than I will discuss but they are all tied up into this. I am having to constantly check in and figure out what is real, and what is just old fear running amok. I laughed when I watched the last Hunger Games, when they started going over the list of what is and what isn't real. It is a pretty useful tool for PTSD and dealing with old history issues that come into current life. I have been under 430 now for a couple weeks, which is a record, and find that I am ready and able to keep losing. I have a goal in mind that is nice and long and slow, and I don't scream at myself anymore when I don't wake up skinny. Those thoughts come in and I do begin to rage at myself for letting it get this bad, but then I go back to what is real. I have a plan. I am working the plan. The plan has me losing about 10 pounds a month and when I do that I will be 200 pounds by the end of March 2018 when I graduate college. I think about walking at graduation, not fearing the platform steps, not fearing the plane ride to get there, not fearing a special order 10x gown to wear. Then I recognize that I am on track for that goal, and have a wonderful future ahead where I can help people change their own futures. This thing we are doing here - this getting healthy. This is a good thing, and an exciting thing. We have to dig deep and find things out about ourselves, because we got this weight on for a reason. finding out that those reasons are no longer applicable in our current lives for our current selves is like finding a key that unlocks a door.
  • CorneliusPhoton
    CorneliusPhoton Posts: 965 Member
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    TNFirefly wrote: »
    I have a plan. I am working the plan. ...We have to dig deep and find things out about ourselves, because we got this weight on for a reason. finding out that those reasons are no longer applicable in our current lives for our current selves is like finding a key that unlocks a door.

    This really resonated with me. Similar to your 'things that are no longer applicable to our current selves' idea, I am telling myself that I am no longer the person who supports my starting weight. And by "support" I mean act like and eat like. I am now a person who supports myself *at* my goal weight-- I have an exercise regimen that I do regularly and I am logging it in a notebook. I want to show the notebook to my doctor when I see him next month, so I guess that is helping to keep me accountable. :) I am pretty good at keeping my calorie load where it needs to be, even though I have become slack at actually logging it lately. Weekends are tough because the husband and daughter want to have pig-out fests, but I am finding that I can eat less, even make some better choices, even on the weekends, because of this new way of thinking. I feel like I have unlocked the door, but am worried about how long it will stay open. MFP has helped. Reading motivational stories helps. Watching the scale move helps. Feeling better in my clothes helps. The ultimate goal is not only to unlock the door, but step through, slam the door and lock it from the other side as Future Me!

    You can do this. Vigilance every day. Move every day! <3
  • scolaris
    scolaris Posts: 2,145 Member
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    Snack hips! That's amazing! Thank you for coming back! Please do update periodically.
    I have some baggage around weight too. Don't we all? Beyond just eating and fussing with my family's food for comfort, I realized that I kind of liked feeling covered up & safe in a layer of fat as a wife & mom because when I was very slim I always attracted so much sexual attention and I engaged in some sexual excesses that I'm certainly not proud of now. It's really helpful to air that stuff out. It definitely starts to take the wind out out of those sails. Best wishes to you. xoxo
  • SnackHips
    SnackHips Posts: 90 Member
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    I made it into the 140's and "relapsed" to my highest weight. Still struggling. My doctor added more anti-depressants/anxiety medication. She said our body will fight us sometimes as it is use to a certain weight. I wish they would give me something to take the weight off and my stupid body could get use to THAT weight. On the bright side, I am very happy. I get 15-20k steps a day and have started kayaking and hiking. I eat overnight oatmeal for breakfast, a delicious cabbage salad for lunch, a piece of fruit and nut butter for snack, and a home-made dinner that is usually chicken/fish vegetables and sweet potato. So back to my original assumption...I will be fat forever. lol At least I am enjoying life now and bought cute clothes despite not being my "ideal" size. Thanks again for the comments.

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