How do you deal with being called "FAT"

Options
ari7l
ari7l Posts: 38 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
Ever since I was a teenager, I was not overweight but my body frame is kinda wide, i have wider a wider bone structure than most girls. So Ive mostly been called fat all my life, sometimes when I get a comment from certain people, instead of motivating me it just makes it worse for me. Esp when a boyfriend/husband passes a comment like that idk why it hits a women like me so hard.
«134

Replies

  • size102b
    size102b Posts: 1,370 Member
    Options
    A boyfriend / husband ?
  • jandsstevenson887
    jandsstevenson887 Posts: 296 Member
    Options
    I don't allow jerks in my life.
  • philippakate197
    philippakate197 Posts: 125 Member
    Options
    I've been overweight for almost all my adult life but I have never been called fat. And I never will be because I absolutely won't tolerate it. I also won't tolerate being called stupid, ugly or any other shaming insult you can think of. There is no excuse for someone to behave that way towards you, but there are also no excuses for you putting up with it. Hold your head high, walk away from the people who cannot see your real worth, you deserve better.
  • GreenIceFloes
    GreenIceFloes Posts: 1,491 Member
    Options
    I've always been a large-framed person. So my reaction is always

    34662254.jpg

    Seriously, though, tell them it hurts you. I'm sure they'll stop.
  • Pascooty
    Pascooty Posts: 48 Member
    Options
    It used to bug me, the word "fat". However, it really is just a descriptive word... and I am fat. I think now it depends on how someone would say it to me. If they intend it to be cruel? Yes, it would bother me. But if it's just used as a harmless description, it doesn't really bother me.
  • gothomson
    gothomson Posts: 215 Member
    Options
    There is no excuse for that, especially from someone close to you. "Fat" as a term is just plain insulting and is not designed to motivate you. Frankly I'd say in an assertive way that the term is unacceptable to you as it hurts. If the person has your best interests at heart they'll stop, heck they should apologise or feel sorry too. If not? Get that jerk outta your life you don't need that kinda crap.
  • koreangurl
    koreangurl Posts: 59 Member
    Options
    If someone calls you fat its just more motivation to lose weight. Turn the experience into a positive one
  • rsleighty
    rsleighty Posts: 214 Member
    Options
    Yeah, I had a boyfriend who used to try to motivate (control!) me by criticizing my looks/weight. It took years to get over. Today if someone called me fat I would probably respond with something like "I can't believe you just said that. You really are a *kitten*".

    Get those people out of your life. NOBODY needs to be talked to like that.
  • abadvat
    abadvat Posts: 1,241 Member
    Options
    Embrace it or do something about it.
  • snowflake954
    snowflake954 Posts: 8,400 Member
    Options
    I think it's harder at your age. I was always tall and thin with a large bone structure, and blonde to boot so I always felt huge and like a lighthouse walking around. It was impossible to be inconspicuous, and I tried, how I tried. Eventually I just accepted myself--that's the way I am. If someone doesn't like it, that's too bad. That's been such a liberation. You can always better yourself though. Take a look at what you're got and who you are and improve a little here and there. You'll be fine.
  • zyxst
    zyxst Posts: 9,134 Member
    Options
    Nowadays, it's "Yeah, and?" The source of the comment depends on my reaction, too. Very young kids get a pass because they don't have that mouth control yet.

    I find that when people use fat as an insult, it's to get a reaction so they can have fun or it's a controlling mechanism.
  • jennifer_417
    jennifer_417 Posts: 12,344 Member
    Options
    No boyfriend or husband should be calling you fat. The problem doesn't lie with you.
  • MillyMooMummy1994
    MillyMooMummy1994 Posts: 42 Member
    Options
    I got called fat back when i was in school, a memory that stuck is when a girl put her leg next to to mine and said my thigh was about 10× the size of hers. And i just laughed but hurt inside. Wish id had the balls to tell her where to go! You dont need people in your life like that! Let it motivate you rather than put you down. You can lose your weight but people like that will always have an ugly personality xx
  • tomteboda
    tomteboda Posts: 2,171 Member
    Options
    My ex-husband told me I was "too fat to *kitten*" . Yes, it really was that vulgar. This occurred 16 years ago and I still cringe when I remember it.

    I lost 220 lbs of unwanted weight shortly thereafter and I'm happy to report THAT weight has never returned. Unfortunately I don't have a magic pill to dealing with the scars of that kind of abuse except to say that time and distance are helpful.
  • trjjoy
    trjjoy Posts: 666 Member
    Options
    Fat is a descriptor. Like tall or short.
  • lil_lizt
    lil_lizt Posts: 275 Member
    Options
    My mum calls me fat every time I see her. I used to be a uk 4-6 when I worked at a stables but I've shot up to a size 14. My mum has been on a starvation diet (literally a bag of crisps and bar of chocolate a day) and for the first time ever she's slimmer than me. She freely admits that she was always jealous of my smaller size so now gloats at me that I'm larger. I try to just ignore it. My boyfriend still assures me I'm beautiful even though I've gained a stone in the year we've been together
  • VisofSer
    VisofSer Posts: 130 Member
    Options
    I am fat and working to change that. No ones opinion or observation of myself has as much value as my own. I have been fat for a long time, I had a middle aged beer belly since I was 14 so I experienced enough grief that these comments are water off a duck's back. I know what I need to do and why. Anything else is a waste.
  • Francl27
    Francl27 Posts: 26,372 Member
    Options
    Kinda curious about the boyfriend/husband thing too. Hopefully he's only the former and it will be easier when you get rid of him.
  • Rocknut53
    Rocknut53 Posts: 1,794 Member
    Options
    Nothing inspires me me more than people saying things to me like my doctor saying "you're borderline obese," my ex telling me, "you're too dumb to go to college." I have this stubborn streak in me that wants to prove them wrong...and it works.
  • NYRhockey00
    NYRhockey00 Posts: 1,196 Member
    Options
    Fat comments are usually followed by "Those jokes were funny in kindergarten, you can do better than that"

Categories