How do you deal with being called "FAT"

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  • xtina315
    xtina315 Posts: 218 Member
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    I would drop his booty like a sake of potatoes. When I have been called fat since I became over weight I just say "no sh*** sherlock, I must be blind." I don't get hurt by it, because I'm making strides on getting back to a healthy weight.
  • mespreeman
    mespreeman Posts: 70 Member
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    ari7l wrote: »
    Ever since I was a teenager, I was not overweight but my body frame is kinda wide, i have wider a wider bone structure than most girls. So Ive mostly been called fat all my life, sometimes when I get a comment from certain people, instead of motivating me it just makes it worse for me. Esp when a boyfriend/husband passes a comment like that idk why it hits a women like me so hard.

    It's never really bothered me.

    It's not like they are telling me something I didn't already know. :)

  • scolaris
    scolaris Posts: 2,145 Member
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    I'm of two minds on this...
    'Fat' should not be bandied about like 'stupid' or any other belittling term in anger or bullying. That's wrong. Don't take it. Walk away from any interaction that devolves to that level.
    Unfortunately being over fat, carrying an excess of adipose tissue, is a very real & very prevalent condition that costs billions of dollars to treat in the way of adult onset diabetes, heart conditions, etc. etc. It may be hard to hear from a loved one, but we shouldn't walk around fooling ourselves if we are over fat. Our bodies were not designed to carry 40-50% excess tissue in the form of fat. That's a symptom of over feeding and under moving and should be remedied. Facts are facts. All the feelings in the world can't refute the science of fat.
  • AskTracyAnnK28
    AskTracyAnnK28 Posts: 2,834 Member
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    Why would you stay with a boyfriend who calls you names? why would you marry someone like that??

    You can always come back with "I may be fat, but you're an *kitten* - and I can diet"
  • Sandra37405
    Sandra37405 Posts: 20 Member
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    I am fat. It's not an opinion, it's a fact. I just own it. If I want do something about it I can and should. I'm also short. Big deal.
  • MissDeeDee78
    MissDeeDee78 Posts: 415 Member
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    First of all, hugs to you. Second of all being of larger frame than the women in my family (I take after my dad) I know how you feel. Don't let it get to you, easier said than done, right? It took years for me to appreciate my big wide round rump. Gotta love yourself first, then the rest will follow.
  • Need2Exerc1se
    Need2Exerc1se Posts: 13,576 Member
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    ari7l wrote: »
    Ever since I was a teenager, I was not overweight but my body frame is kinda wide, i have wider a wider bone structure than most girls. So Ive mostly been called fat all my life, sometimes when I get a comment from certain people, instead of motivating me it just makes it worse for me. Esp when a boyfriend/husband passes a comment like that idk why it hits a women like me so hard.

    It's hard to tell from this short post but it seems like there might be some denial at play here. Why would anyone call you fat if you are not overweight? And if they did, why would it bother you or 'make it worse' if you are not overweight?
  • hope516
    hope516 Posts: 1,133 Member
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    As Eleanor Roosevelt once said, "no one can make you feel inferior without your consent."

    Don't give words power. Don't give someone the power to hurt you. On the same hand if someone is verbally abusive, that is a whole other story to be addressed.

    Lastly I would say don't be afraid of the word fat. Its like any other term...tall, short, round, brown....its a descriptive word. If you have excess fat, you are fat. I am fat. The problem comes in because society has lumped in lazy, slob, and other actual NEGATIVE terms with fat. I am none of those other things. I just love food so I am fat. And I am doing something about it. You are here so you are doing something about it. Don't let anyone steal your sparkle!!!
  • gramarye
    gramarye Posts: 586 Member
    edited April 2016
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    Pascooty wrote: »
    It used to bug me, the word "fat". However, it really is just a descriptive word... and I am fat. I think now it depends on how someone would say it to me. If they intend it to be cruel? Yes, it would bother me. But if it's just used as a harmless description, it doesn't really bother me.

    Yes. Treating fat as a neutral descriptor removes the power from it. I have fat on my body -- especially in my legs and stomach. I am not slim. These are true statements about my body, and have absolutely zero bearing on my value. Getting to that point sucks, especially when you know people say "fat" to be a-holes, but it's a relief when you let it wash over you.

    Also: don't let a-holes treat you badly. If you care about them, tell you how it makes you feel. If they don't care about you, then cut them out of your life.
  • devilwhiterose
    devilwhiterose Posts: 1,157 Member
    edited April 2016
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    "You can fix fat but you can't fix ugly."

    Truthfully though, don't tolerate that. If someone doesn't have something nice to say, they shouldn't say anything at all. And they really can't...if they're missing their teeth.
  • perkymommy
    perkymommy Posts: 1,642 Member
    edited April 2016
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    By boyfriend/husband are you referring to other women's boyfriends and husbands calling you fat? If so, that's inappropriate.

    I agree with someone else about not giving those people power over you. They have insecurities of their own about their own bodies or else they wouldn't take the time to try and knock you down. In fact, we all have things that have been said to us that hit us to the core and make us feel bad. I've always been treated differently over being short (4'11") and while I laugh it off it does bother me that I never got to make it to at least 5'0 or a little taller. I'd love to know what it's like to be a little taller but I never will because I wasn't born that way. Just be happy with yourself. I think we all get to an age/point in life where we finally decide to do that and it really does help.

    If you need a friend - feel free to add me!
  • tayter_tot7
    tayter_tot7 Posts: 220 Member
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    Really you have two choices...Deal with being "fat" or change it. People usually use that to make you feel bad about yourself. I'm changing my lifestyle to be healthier not prettier. Some people think just because you're not a size 2 that you arent pretty. I remember at my last job inmates would say that to me to make me feel bad about myself. Problem is I don't think at this weight or at any weight that ive been that I was unattractive. Besides ive always been this weight, ive never been skinny so to call me "fat" I would look at you like ...duh capt. obvious! lol Don't let someone tear you down by making that comment. And remember "fat" isn't synonymous with ugly.
  • lkpducky
    lkpducky Posts: 16,804 Member
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    MillyMooMummy1994 wrote: »
    I got called fat back when i was in school, a memory that stuck is when a girl put her leg next to to mine and said my thigh was about 10× the size of hers.

    "And so's my brain!"
  • amusedmonkey
    amusedmonkey Posts: 10,330 Member
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    Such people are either trying to deliberately get a reaction or are bad at filtering their thoughts, so my usual reaction is "meh". This way the those who want a reaction don't get it, and those who suffer from foot-in-mouth syndrome don't feel more embarrassed by the slip up than they already are. It doesn't usually bother me though.

    This reminded me of an incident from back when I was in college. A guy passing by randomly stopped and called me fat, to which I replied "how very observant of you to state the obvious" and apparently it was so unexpected that the guy just stared blankly and looked stupid, causing the other kids to laugh at him.. but I digress..

    Since in your case it's a boyfriend, not a stranger, and he is deliberately trying to make you feel bad about yourself, re-evaluate your relationship. Do you really want to spend your life with someone who enjoys insulting you on purpose?
  • pandabear_
    pandabear_ Posts: 487 Member
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    My ex-boyfriend also called me fat once and that I looked pregnant in a new skirt I had just bought.
  • callsitlikeiseeit
    callsitlikeiseeit Posts: 8,627 Member
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    id be finding a new boyfriend ....
  • m_keezy35
    m_keezy35 Posts: 19 Member
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    My grandparents used to call me fat until i proved them wrong. I was in the "overweight" category and i changed the way i eat and exercised more often. Now i'm in the normal category, happier than i ever was ! :smiley:
  • sapphirestrix
    sapphirestrix Posts: 1 Member
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    I've found that the true universal definition of 'fat' is nowhere to be found. It's different for everybody. All they're sharing is that you meet their criteria, and that they for some reason feel their opinions cannot be controlled by their mouth orifice. I've seen fit people being called fat simply because they didn't reach the expectations that magazines, etc call for. It's not really something to be concerned about, what matters is how you experience life. But I do understand that it does hurt...I find it helps to consider what else that person might criticize, and how ridiculous their logic is.
  • SarcasmIsMyLoveLanguage
    SarcasmIsMyLoveLanguage Posts: 2,671 Member
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    I'm seeing a lot of threads lately with a similar topic, and all I can think is that there are a lot of neanderthal a-holes on this planet. Or maybe I've just been very lucky not to have come across anyone that called me fat (to my face). Is general consideration for peoples' feeling not a thing anymore?
    Mini-rant over.
  • MommyMeggo
    MommyMeggo Posts: 1,222 Member
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    When someone calls me fat to my face Ill let you know.

    Those in my life wouldnt dare because they arent asshats- and no one is without flaws- physical or otherwise.

    Those who dont know me i dont give a flip about.

    I know how I look. I know what I am, and what I am not.
    Im perfectly fine with what I am.
    The things I dont like I work to change them. Its between me, myself and I.

    If anything use their disgusting comments as fuel to your flame, not water.
    xoxo

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