No happier after weight loss?

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dave_in_ni
dave_in_ni Posts: 533 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
I've been over weight all my life. It really kills self esteem getting all the smart comments and insults especially as a child. This year I said enough is enough and managed to stick to a diet losing 35lbs so far which puts me in the correct BMI for my height and weight, so technically no longer fat or over weight.

I always wanted to be a normal weight and somehow imagined I'd be happier once I got here but I can't say I am, my confidence hasn't grown any, sure its nice for people to comment on your weight loss but its boring now. I just can't help but think was it all worth it.

Anyone else ever feel like this?
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Replies

  • myheartsabattleground
    myheartsabattleground Posts: 2,040 Member
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    Yes, but I turned to minimalism, and I've been SO much happier.
  • RodaRose
    RodaRose Posts: 9,562 Member
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    Are you working out? That helps some people, especially when they feel their body shape improve.
  • gl6h2
    gl6h2 Posts: 28 Member
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    TavistockToad wrote: »
    Thin people aren't happy just because they're thin... sounds like you need to look at your life and decide what you're doing with it to improve your quality of life.

  • kellypeake
    kellypeake Posts: 1 Member
    edited April 2016
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    Well done for losing all that weight! This is a common thing that people who lose weight go through. Your happiness will never be found in the number on the scales. People ignore other aspects of their lives that they are not happy with and think that their weight is the main contributor to their unhappiness, so by losing weight they will be happier and it's really not that simple. Look at what else you have going on, what else you'd like to improve and moving forward focus your energy on what you can do to change your whole life, not just your weight. The more you focus on the good things, the more good things there will be to focus on. Weight is just a number, you have to accept certain things about yourself to be happy with yourself.
  • endlessfall16
    endlessfall16 Posts: 932 Member
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    Being thin/fit should give you less worries about sickness and any less worries should mean more relief and thus happiness, well, for those who struggle all their life anyway.

    For some it's like Paris Hilton earning another million dollars.
  • kelseyframe91
    kelseyframe91 Posts: 37 Member
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    dave_in_ni wrote: »
    I've been over weight all my life. It really kills self esteem getting all the smart comments and insults especially as a child. This year I said enough is enough and managed to stick to a diet losing 35lbs so far which puts me in the correct BMI for my height and weight, so technically no longer fat or over weight.

    I always wanted to be a normal weight and somehow imagined I'd be happier once I got here but I can't say I am, my confidence hasn't grown any, sure its nice for people to comment on your weight loss but its boring now. I just can't help but think was it all worth it.

    Anyone else ever feel like this?

    First of all. Well done! What an achievement and you should be so proud. Without sounding harsh did you lose weight for you or to prove those horrible bullies wrong? Only through my own experiences I have learned never to lose weight for anyone else but yourself. What makes you feel good and happy is so important while losing weight and then maintaining. Sure getting comments is great but it does wear off eventually, that's natural with any achievement we make. Stay strong and ask yourself truly why you wanted to lose weight.
  • cross2bear
    cross2bear Posts: 1,106 Member
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    As others have said, your weight is not the key to your overall happiness. Usually, relationships are - whether its with yourself, or others. I hope you find your mojo, its sure to be out there!
  • snowflake930
    snowflake930 Posts: 2,188 Member
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    lauracups wrote: »
    Happiness is a choice. It takes introspection and appreciation of what is within our control and what is not. It's just a state of mind regardless of weight, height, gender, income. ...etc.

    ^^This+1
    Nothing guarantees happiness.
    You are at a healthier weight now, that is a big accomplishment.
    Maybe try to work on building your confidence. You are worth it!

  • Lounmoun
    Lounmoun Posts: 8,426 Member
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    As an adult I've weighed less than a healthy BMI all the way to crossing the line into being obese.
    My happiness in life and with myself didn't have much to do with my weight but what I was doing. I felt my healthiest and most confident about myself at about the middle of the healthy BMI range. I think it was more that I was being more social, starting a new job, dressing better, etc at that life stage. At my current life stage I have a pretty positive attitude. I am happier to be healthier, in less pain, able to walk farther because of my weight loss but I don't really care what people think about my looks. I'm the same person inside.
  • kimdawnhayden
    kimdawnhayden Posts: 298 Member
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    Being thin does not change who you are. It's still the same person in there. I know I feel better when I exercise. I guess getting those endorphins going. I know when I looked really good I tended to have more trouble with other females friends. They would wonder why I did it and why I ate this and that and why it took up so much of my time. They were not supportive. Some were family members. You may want to speak with a counselor or someone who's been in your position. I think sometimes we just need to vent and may not have anyone we trust to vent to. Find someone to talk to. You'll feel better. Make sure it's someone you trust though and not a gossip. Maybe even a professional. Good luck.
  • Alidecker
    Alidecker Posts: 1,262 Member
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    I felt the same way while I was losing weight. I wasn't unhappy before losing weight though, it was more that I thought some aspects of my life that I wasn't completely happy with would change just with the weight loss, which they didn't. I had to make separate effort to change those things. I ended up going to therapy for a while to figure myself out, not long, but even the short time helped.

  • gothchiq
    gothchiq Posts: 4,590 Member
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    Hobbies, meditation and/or yoga, and maybe therapy?
  • dave_in_ni
    dave_in_ni Posts: 533 Member
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    Thanks for all the advice. I have been working out, 6 days per week lifting ever since I started my diet, I have to say I never get the endorphin rush, never did. I get the satisfaction of having done it after I finish though and that's about the height of it.

    I get what you guys are getting at though, Its the same with folks who win the lottery, they assumed once they had millions they'd he happy, I guess we all do but its true what they say money doesn't buy happiness and neither does weight loss, sure its a good thing I've lost the weight and I am still planning on cutting until I get into single digit body fat percentage but as you say there is more to this. Someone once said happiness is an inside job and its very much true, I just have to figure out what happiness is to me.

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