Parents dealing with strong willed children

Whoops, sorry. Yep I meant @sunn_lighter

awaite3 wrote: »

Her dad enrolled her in kumon which originally I agreed to until kindergarten but unfortunately he's kept her in no matter my protests. I can't keep her from going because I cannot cancel an activity he's enrolled her in as per my state parenting guidelines. Kumon is boring I agree but it has to get done now this resentment is bleeding over into her kindergarten homework.

When she comes home from school she's has a snack and relaxes/plays till my husband comes home. Then it's dinner and homework time. It's so frustrating especially when the part time parent uses this kumon as a weapon, he knows the struggles he just doesn't care. The funny part is that's she's very gifted. She's top in her class with reading and math I'm worried she's getting burnt out but no one listens to me not even the courts and lawyers.

As someone said ask the school about her behaviour there. Is she getting homework because she's not getting work done at school? I also think take her for an assessment. she could benefit from talking to a therapist, sounds like you and her father have very strained relations so she might benefit greatly from talking to a third party. My boy sees a therapist to deal with the anxiety thst comes with his adhd. She gives us strategies to help him.

All kids are different, they all learn when they are ready. We all as parents want them to succeed and be the smartest and best so I understand the Kumon. Kids are hard but I suspect there's more here than just a defiant child

My daughter was a big handful. I had her on medication for ADHD here to find out my boyfriend at the time was beating her when I wasn't home. He would smack her in the back of the head push her down etc. things that wouldn't leave a mark. Until one day I seen a big Hand print around her upper arm. she was acting out because of the abuse, because she was too young to tell us what was going on, or maybe she just thought it was a normal Way of how adults treat children .Of course I broke up with him and called child protective services. He had a PFA one of her three years. He should've been put in jail. From the abuse she went through it caused psychological problems like cutting herself and wanting to commit to commit suicide, As she got older . People are so quick to say it's ADHD when there could be an under line problem causing the ADHD.

My 6 year old twins have once a week homework. 3 sheets of reading and math. The reason for having homework in kindergarten is to prep for the NIGHTLY homework that will come in first grade. Granted - we're in an extremely high-achieving district heading for their top performing elementary school. Sometimes I get the feeling I'm one of the few parents in the class that actually makes their child do the work (vs the parent doing most of it themselves).

My son just bangs his out with no drama, and I mainly just am nearby to supervise if he has questions.

My daughter the drama queen wails, cries, and throws herself down on the table in frustration. One of the main things that helps is getting her brother away from her. The rule for him is no "helping". If he's not "watching" her, the drama goes way down.

I'm also finding that she's much more tactile. If she has a sheet of scratch paper where she can doodle and re-write the words she's having trouble on it's a real help. She also likes to use fun colors, etc.

Right now, it's just a few minutes extra with her. I do dread the future when we're dealing with this every night.

For what it's worth, I have worse battles with her to get her to brush her teeth. Yikes.

I would talk to the teacher and see if she has any ideas based on watching her work in class. In our case, she did have a few insights that helped with just general behavior.

Have you asked to have her tested for the school's gifted program? I am a teacher and mother of gifted students. I've had several students over the years who refused to do homework because they already knew the concepts and viewed it as a waste of their time. I also agree with having her tested for ADHD/ADD.

_incogNEATo_ wrote: »

StealthHealth wrote: »

sunn_lighter wrote: »

StealthHealth wrote: »

Whoops, sorry. Yep I meant @sunn_lighter

I don't argue with people on the internet because we both know we're right but I'm a *kitten* amazing parent with two extraordinary kids so suck it

You know what, you're right and I was a dick to post what I did. I'm sorry, it was a glib comment which was of no use to the OP and a dig at you (and JP_909). Nether of you deserved it.

Sorry again.

Wow, I didn't think apologies were made here at MFP. That is amazing. Great work.

Rare--but it happens, especially when the poster is big enough to know they're not perfect. Hats off to you, StealthHealth.

I have an 8 year old who has focus issues. The biggest thing is to have patience and keep teaching them. For my 8 year old, I need to remove all distractions - no tv, no toys, nothing on the table (and that still doesn't always help).

Strangely enough, if I have classical music playing, she focuses better. It seems that the music distracts from other distractions, and yet is, in itself, soothing. (It works for me too).

Getting angry, frustrated, threats, punishment - isn't going to help - only hurt, if your child legitimately has focus issues. Try to stay patient and keep redirecting them back to the task at hand.

I use to go thru the same thing with my middle child and it took a few yrs cause I didn't know what to do or where to go but when I did speak to the Dr and did testing she was diagnosed with add at age 8 early bed times did help as well case they get up so early for school she's 10 and I still have to send her upstairs at 830 for bed good luck doll it will get better just stay strong

Try giving her small breaks in between... Like okay let's do this page of math and you can go get a glass of water or stretch for a minute or some other little thing. If she can't do a whole page, try one or two problems. Ask her what does she want to start with. If she has three assignments, which would she like to do first. Reward can be in the form of wow, we got through that in 10 minutes (one page of math) that was great, I wonder if tomorrow we can do it in 9 minutes and have a race?