People who mean well but actually don't

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tamaraworrall
tamaraworrall Posts: 166 Member
in Motivation and Support
Does anyone else get annoyed with friends and family who think they mean well with advice but it actually puts your defenses up and has the reverse effect?
I love how I look and I enjoy what I eat and trying to up my calories and eat more which is a work in progress.
But one friend keeps telling me to put weight on to a size 10 etc etc.
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Replies

  • ghudson92
    ghudson92 Posts: 2,061 Member
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    People will always have an opinion which is usually rooted within their own insecurities. Perhaps your friend wishes she shared your motivation? If you're happy and healthy then keep on trucking!
  • tiptoethruthetulips
    tiptoethruthetulips Posts: 3,360 Member
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    I think it depends...if someone is genuinely underweight for instance they do mean well. And liking how we look isn't necessarily an indicator of being at a healthy weight or not.

    That said, for some of those who are use to seeing us a lot heavier they may just need to time to adjust to a slimmer us. I don't think everyone's comments are rooted with their own insecurities, some concerns may well be justified or just a case of getting use to the slimmer version.

  • queenliz99
    queenliz99 Posts: 15,317 Member
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    Your friends may be telling you the truth.
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
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    aggelikik wrote: »
    OP based on your avatar, and assuming your diary is even half accurate, I would not dismish your friends concern and would seek professional help. Good luck.

    Agreed
  • Jeffrey300050
    Jeffrey300050 Posts: 93 Member
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    They may love you and be concerned. But it IS your body.
  • thewildair
    thewildair Posts: 31 Member
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    aggelikik wrote: »
    OP based on your avatar, and assuming your diary is even half accurate, I would not dismish your friends concern and would seek professional help. Good luck.

    I agree with this. 900 calories is way too much of a deficit. And you imply that you are trying to put on some weight, which means, no matter what your height, you should be eating a lot more. Your friends are probably worried about your health. If you are in the UK, a size 10 is fairly slim, so it's not like your friend is advocating an outrageous size. Being severely underweight and chronically under-eating causes a ton of serious long-term damage to your body, including brain damage. You should speak to a nutritionist and a therapist who specializes in disordered eating.
  • Sabine_Stroehm
    Sabine_Stroehm Posts: 19,263 Member
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    tamaraworrall wrote: »
    Does anyone else get annoyed with friends and family who think they mean well with advice but it actually puts your defenses up and has the reverse effect?
    I love how I look and I enjoy what I eat and trying to up my calories and eat more which is a work in progress.
    But one friend keeps telling me to put weight on to a size 10 etc etc.

    Perhaps you could cut back on all those different types of cardio you do in a day?
  • tamaraworrall
    tamaraworrall Posts: 166 Member
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    I am cutting back on cardio but I enjoy what I do and what I eat plus the exercise allows me to have more food if I want to.
    I'm listening to my body and I'm perfectly healthy .my face was thin when I was a few stone heavier but I'm the right weight for my height and I'm focusing on maintaining and upping calories now
  • Serah87
    Serah87 Posts: 5,481 Member
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    OP seek professional help.
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
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    To be fair, the exercise calories are very overestimated, but even so there's no need for that level of exercise on 1500 cals.

    saying 'exercise allows me to eat more' is a massive red flag in this situation.
  • tamaraworrall
    tamaraworrall Posts: 166 Member
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    I'm eating loads,I eat healthy,I exercise and going from what I used to be like is a big change .
    I enjoy my food and I'm working on the next stage of my journey .
    I'm the correct weight for my height as well.
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
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    tamaraworrall wrote: »
    I'm eating loads,I eat healthy,I exercise and going from what I used to be like is a big change .
    I enjoy my food and I'm working on the next stage of my journey .
    I'm the correct weight for my height as well.

    You're not eating 'loads' by any stretch of the imagination.
  • queenliz99
    queenliz99 Posts: 15,317 Member
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    I just looked at your diary, you are not eating loads of food. You are on a slippery slope and I think your friends have real concerns.
  • Serah87
    Serah87 Posts: 5,481 Member
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    TavistockToad wrote: »
    tamaraworrall wrote: »
    I'm eating loads,I eat healthy,I exercise and going from what I used to be like is a big change .
    I enjoy my food and I'm working on the next stage of my journey .
    I'm the correct weight for my height as well.

    You're not eating 'loads' by any stretch of the imagination.

    Agree.
  • tamaraworrall
    tamaraworrall Posts: 166 Member
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    It's one friend and she said the same to me when i was 3 stone heavier.i appreciate the advice thank you
  • queenliz99
    queenliz99 Posts: 15,317 Member
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    You said friends and family.
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
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    tamaraworrall wrote: »
    It's one friend and she said the same to me when i was 3 stone heavier.i appreciate the advice thank you

    But now it sounds like she's right.
  • tamaraworrall
    tamaraworrall Posts: 166 Member
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    I mistyped as was in a rush writing .the joys of kids ha

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