Issues with family meal-time

MsChucktowski
MsChucktowski Posts: 121 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
Hi everyone! I'm 20 and live at home with my parents. This past week, my mum decided that we would make 'fancy' meals (ie, trying out recipes rather than just having veg, protein, carb every night). These have been great, but I am struggling to log these meals calorie-wise. I explained this to her last night, and she took it badly, saying that I don't like anything she cooks and scoffing when I said I want to lose more weight. Weight is a touchy issue with her, she is quite overweight, and I think seeing me lose weight so 'easily' upsets her.

Veg, protein, carb meals used to be really easy for us, because I'd take care of my own protein (vegetarian) and weigh everything. But now, my brother is a vegetarian, and he gets bored with those 'simple' meals, hence the 'fancy' dishes.

I want to just make my own meals most nights, but my mum takes that as a personal attack on her and her cooking.

Anyone have any advice?
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Replies

  • AlanainCanada
    AlanainCanada Posts: 11 Member
    I cook with recipes quite often and logging them into the recipe part of the pp is a pain--but worth it. Especilly, as I will often have the same thing for lunch! Ask your mom to make extra so you can do that too. She may respond better. And do ask her to make things you like again and again. (Once a recipe is logged in, it is easy peasy to add.)
  • cerise_noir
    cerise_noir Posts: 5,468 Member
    shadow2soul wrote: »
    Could you ask to see the recipe, plug the ingredients into the recipe builder with the servings the recipe says it will make, and then just log that as a rough estimate?
    This. Also, if a recipe is from a website, all you have to do is copy-paste the url into the appropriate field and mfp will do the rest. Beware, you'd have to double check the ingredients mfp matches to the recipe as sometimes mfp adds the wrong ingredient or amount in.




  • raindawg
    raindawg Posts: 348 Member
    I'm always pestering my wife about what's in the dinner, can I see the packages, etc. She's used to it by now, but still gets irritated at times. Truth is about half the time I eat my own thing anyway because the dinner doesn't fit my calories. She might not like it, but weight loss is a big priority for me and if I gave in just to save some feelings I'd never have lost the weight.
  • capaul42
    capaul42 Posts: 1,390 Member
    raindawg wrote: »
    I'm always pestering my wife about what's in the dinner, can I see the packages, etc. She's used to it by now, but still gets irritated at times. Truth is about half the time I eat my own thing anyway because the dinner doesn't fit my calories. She might not like it, but weight loss is a big priority for me and if I gave in just to save some feelings I'd never have lost the weight.

    Opposite in my house. My partner is trying to maintain/gain so it's me that needs to log very little thing. He just copies my meals into his diary for his portion, which is usually twice mine lol. Luckily I cook most of the time
  • mom22dogs
    mom22dogs Posts: 470 Member
    I feel for you. Your mom sounds like mine. Gets really offended when you don't eat what she makes, like it's a personal attack on her or something. I agree with poster above that said to look at the recipe and put it in the recipe builder.
  • booksandchocolate12
    booksandchocolate12 Posts: 1,741 Member
    shadow2soul wrote: »
    Could you ask to see the recipe, plug the ingredients into the recipe builder with the servings the recipe says it will make, and then just log that as a rough estimate?

    ^^This.

    I don't see how she can offense to this. You're happy to eat what she's cooked, you just want to know what you're eating. I don't think that's unreasonable. If she has a problem with this, then you're probably right and there's a deeper issue (i.e., the fact that she's overweight while you're losing weight).
  • kgirlhart
    kgirlhart Posts: 5,154 Member
    shadow2soul wrote: »
    Could you ask to see the recipe, plug the ingredients into the recipe builder with the servings the recipe says it will make, and then just log that as a rough estimate?

    This ^^^^
  • charlsy1691
    charlsy1691 Posts: 36 Member
    Move out?
  • JemPuddleduck
    JemPuddleduck Posts: 28 Member
    When i told my parents about the app and losing weight, I kind of forced my way in to dinner plans. I helped decide on meal plans and shopping lists and will now occasionally cook for the whole family. My mun has even downloaded the app as well.

    Maybe just be honest and sincere and see if you can work something out. Help her out when cooking and get the ingredients logged as you go
  • allenpriest
    allenpriest Posts: 1,102 Member
    charlsy1691 wrote: »
    Move out?

    Might be time
  • RoxieDawn
    RoxieDawn Posts: 15,488 Member
    edited April 2016
    Your own Mom is not on board with your goals... I would say time to move out...sigh

    I echo the recipe builder.. I use it almost every day.
  • cbihatt
    cbihatt Posts: 319 Member
    JemPuddleduck wrote: »
    Help her out when cooking and get the ingredients logged as you go

    ^This. You can both learn something from each other by cooking together.

  • jaga13
    jaga13 Posts: 1,149 Member
    You are 20 years old and living at home, I assume for free?? The least you can do is offer to take dinner preparation off mom's plate. Step up and start making dinner for the family. Or move out.
  • Big_YEET
    Big_YEET Posts: 152 Member
    Why are people on here acting like 20 is old..? Lol.
  • jaga13
    jaga13 Posts: 1,149 Member
    Tuffaknee wrote: »
    Why are people on here acting like 20 is old..? Lol.

    I guess those of us implying that weren't living at home in our 20s.
  • ilex70
    ilex70 Posts: 727 Member
    Tuffaknee wrote: »
    Why are people on here acting like 20 is old..? Lol.

    Generational IMO. The older you are the younger you were likely to have been when you moved out and lived on your own. I was working a full time job and had my own apartment when I was 20. And, no, it wasn't luxe by any means. :D
  • icemom011
    icemom011 Posts: 999 Member
    JeepHair77 wrote: »
    I have a similar struggle. My MIL lives with us, cooks every night, and no, there's no recipe for me to input - it's all in her head and she measures nothing. Making my own meals after she'd been cooking for us would be rude and hurt her feelings, and her food is delicious! Jumping in to help isn't really an option - she's usually cooking so that dinner is ready when we walk in the door after work.

    It's a good problem to have, really.

    I do the best I can to guesstimate her ingredients in the recipe builder. But the best advice I can offer you is portion control. I eat carefully (even obsessively) for breakfast and lunch, the meals I have 100% control over. Then I eat her meals for dinner, but I keep my portions small and avoid the tortillas and Mexican rice. It seems mostly to have been a fairly successful plan - I've lost at approximately the rate I should be.

    Agreed with that. Same thing you would do going out, portion control, stay away from eating a lot of high calorie food, try some, just don't overdo.
  • absentmindedhousewife
    absentmindedhousewife Posts: 68 Member
    edited April 2016
    Sounds sabotage-y to me. Not that she cooks but that she's using it to lay on the guilt. (That this is a new plan of hers points to this. If she was always this way her motivations would be easier to see.) You're just going to have to allow her to have her tantrum, tell her you love her, and take care of your own food needs.
  • e_v_v
    e_v_v Posts: 131 Member
    charlsy1691 wrote: »
    Move out?

    Aggressive, but so incredibly true.
  • Rage_Phish
    Rage_Phish Posts: 1,507 Member
    cerise_noir wrote: »
    shadow2soul wrote: »
    Could you ask to see the recipe, plug the ingredients into the recipe builder with the servings the recipe says it will make, and then just log that as a rough estimate?
    This. Also, if a recipe is from a website, all you have to do is copy-paste the url into the appropriate field and mfp will do the rest. Beware, you'd have to double check the ingredients mfp matches to the recipe as sometimes mfp adds the wrong ingredient or amount in.




    wait, what? how do we do this?
  • ashleyjongepier
    ashleyjongepier Posts: 130 Member
    charlsy1691 wrote: »
    Move out?

    nail on the head
  • kshama2001
    kshama2001 Posts: 28,052 Member
    edited April 2016
    cerise_noir wrote: »
    shadow2soul wrote: »
    Could you ask to see the recipe, plug the ingredients into the recipe builder with the servings the recipe says it will make, and then just log that as a rough estimate?
    This. Also, if a recipe is from a website, all you have to do is copy-paste the url into the appropriate field and mfp will do the rest. Beware, you'd have to double check the ingredients mfp matches to the recipe as sometimes mfp adds the wrong ingredient or amount in.
    Rage_Phish wrote: »
    wait, what? how do we do this?

    Don't. The recipe importer's so-called matching algorithms are unbelievably bad. Use the old recipe builder instead. http://www.myfitnesspal.com/recipe/calculator

    See http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/comment/35918357#Comment_35918357



  • Alluminati
    Alluminati Posts: 6,208 Member
    Tuffaknee wrote: »
    Why are people on here acting like 20 is old..? Lol.

    20 is an adult.
  • icemom011
    icemom011 Posts: 999 Member
    kgirlhart wrote: »
    Tuffaknee wrote: »
    Why are people on here acting like 20 is old..? Lol.

    Because 20 is an adult. My kids are 23 and 19. Neither live at home. My son is in college, so he will be home this summer for about 6 weeks, but starting in August he will be in an apartment full time instead of living in a dorm. I think a 20 year old who complains because her mom cooks her meals and doesn't prepare it (lo-cal) the way she wants comes off sounding very immature. If you don't like the way your mom does things then you are an adult. Move out and do it how ever you want to.

    Yes, 20 is an adult. But she doesn't need to have a tantrum and move out because people here are telling her to. My son's in college too, and my daughter is home for the last few months before she leaves for school. She's vegan, and it's a pain sometimes to cook for her because she gets tired of same simple things. So it's a juggle for your mom, I'm sure, to please everyone. Be understanding, help out. Work with her.
  • kgirlhart
    kgirlhart Posts: 5,154 Member
    icemom011 wrote: »
    kgirlhart wrote: »
    Tuffaknee wrote: »
    Why are people on here acting like 20 is old..? Lol.

    Because 20 is an adult. My kids are 23 and 19. Neither live at home. My son is in college, so he will be home this summer for about 6 weeks, but starting in August he will be in an apartment full time instead of living in a dorm. I think a 20 year old who complains because her mom cooks her meals and doesn't prepare it (lo-cal) the way she wants comes off sounding very immature. If you don't like the way your mom does things then you are an adult. Move out and do it how ever you want to.

    Yes, 20 is an adult. But she doesn't need to have a tantrum and move out because people here are telling her to. My son's in college too, and my daughter is home for the last few months before she leaves for school. She's vegan, and it's a pain sometimes to cook for her because she gets tired of same simple things. So it's a juggle for your mom, I'm sure, to please everyone. Be understanding, help out. Work with her.

    No she doesn't need to have a tantrum and move out. But even if she stays there she is an adult and can always purchase and prepare her own food. The recipe builder is a good idea for her. That way she can log what she eats. But if you are 20 years old and complaining about the way your parents do things I think the obvious option is to grow up and move out on your own as you are an adult.

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