Issues with family meal-time

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MsChucktowski
MsChucktowski Posts: 121 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
Hi everyone! I'm 20 and live at home with my parents. This past week, my mum decided that we would make 'fancy' meals (ie, trying out recipes rather than just having veg, protein, carb every night). These have been great, but I am struggling to log these meals calorie-wise. I explained this to her last night, and she took it badly, saying that I don't like anything she cooks and scoffing when I said I want to lose more weight. Weight is a touchy issue with her, she is quite overweight, and I think seeing me lose weight so 'easily' upsets her.

Veg, protein, carb meals used to be really easy for us, because I'd take care of my own protein (vegetarian) and weigh everything. But now, my brother is a vegetarian, and he gets bored with those 'simple' meals, hence the 'fancy' dishes.

I want to just make my own meals most nights, but my mum takes that as a personal attack on her and her cooking.

Anyone have any advice?
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Replies

  • AlanainCanada
    AlanainCanada Posts: 11 Member
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    I cook with recipes quite often and logging them into the recipe part of the pp is a pain--but worth it. Especilly, as I will often have the same thing for lunch! Ask your mom to make extra so you can do that too. She may respond better. And do ask her to make things you like again and again. (Once a recipe is logged in, it is easy peasy to add.)
  • cerise_noir
    cerise_noir Posts: 5,468 Member
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    shadow2soul wrote: »
    Could you ask to see the recipe, plug the ingredients into the recipe builder with the servings the recipe says it will make, and then just log that as a rough estimate?
    This. Also, if a recipe is from a website, all you have to do is copy-paste the url into the appropriate field and mfp will do the rest. Beware, you'd have to double check the ingredients mfp matches to the recipe as sometimes mfp adds the wrong ingredient or amount in.




  • raindawg
    raindawg Posts: 348 Member
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    I'm always pestering my wife about what's in the dinner, can I see the packages, etc. She's used to it by now, but still gets irritated at times. Truth is about half the time I eat my own thing anyway because the dinner doesn't fit my calories. She might not like it, but weight loss is a big priority for me and if I gave in just to save some feelings I'd never have lost the weight.
  • capaul42
    capaul42 Posts: 1,390 Member
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    raindawg wrote: »
    I'm always pestering my wife about what's in the dinner, can I see the packages, etc. She's used to it by now, but still gets irritated at times. Truth is about half the time I eat my own thing anyway because the dinner doesn't fit my calories. She might not like it, but weight loss is a big priority for me and if I gave in just to save some feelings I'd never have lost the weight.

    Opposite in my house. My partner is trying to maintain/gain so it's me that needs to log very little thing. He just copies my meals into his diary for his portion, which is usually twice mine lol. Luckily I cook most of the time
  • mom22dogs
    mom22dogs Posts: 470 Member
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    I feel for you. Your mom sounds like mine. Gets really offended when you don't eat what she makes, like it's a personal attack on her or something. I agree with poster above that said to look at the recipe and put it in the recipe builder.
  • booksandchocolate12
    booksandchocolate12 Posts: 1,741 Member
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    shadow2soul wrote: »
    Could you ask to see the recipe, plug the ingredients into the recipe builder with the servings the recipe says it will make, and then just log that as a rough estimate?

    ^^This.

    I don't see how she can offense to this. You're happy to eat what she's cooked, you just want to know what you're eating. I don't think that's unreasonable. If she has a problem with this, then you're probably right and there's a deeper issue (i.e., the fact that she's overweight while you're losing weight).
  • kgirlhart
    kgirlhart Posts: 4,987 Member
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    shadow2soul wrote: »
    Could you ask to see the recipe, plug the ingredients into the recipe builder with the servings the recipe says it will make, and then just log that as a rough estimate?

    This ^^^^
  • charlsy1691
    charlsy1691 Posts: 36 Member
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    Move out?
  • JemPuddleduck
    JemPuddleduck Posts: 28 Member
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    When i told my parents about the app and losing weight, I kind of forced my way in to dinner plans. I helped decide on meal plans and shopping lists and will now occasionally cook for the whole family. My mun has even downloaded the app as well.

    Maybe just be honest and sincere and see if you can work something out. Help her out when cooking and get the ingredients logged as you go
  • allenpriest
    allenpriest Posts: 1,102 Member
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    charlsy1691 wrote: »
    Move out?

    Might be time
  • RoxieDawn
    RoxieDawn Posts: 15,488 Member
    edited April 2016
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    Your own Mom is not on board with your goals... I would say time to move out...sigh

    I echo the recipe builder.. I use it almost every day.
  • cbihatt
    cbihatt Posts: 319 Member
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    JemPuddleduck wrote: »
    Help her out when cooking and get the ingredients logged as you go

    ^This. You can both learn something from each other by cooking together.

  • jaga13
    jaga13 Posts: 1,149 Member
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    You are 20 years old and living at home, I assume for free?? The least you can do is offer to take dinner preparation off mom's plate. Step up and start making dinner for the family. Or move out.
  • Big_YEET
    Big_YEET Posts: 152 Member
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    Why are people on here acting like 20 is old..? Lol.
  • jaga13
    jaga13 Posts: 1,149 Member
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    Tuffaknee wrote: »
    Why are people on here acting like 20 is old..? Lol.

    I guess those of us implying that weren't living at home in our 20s.
  • ilex70
    ilex70 Posts: 727 Member
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    Tuffaknee wrote: »
    Why are people on here acting like 20 is old..? Lol.

    Generational IMO. The older you are the younger you were likely to have been when you moved out and lived on your own. I was working a full time job and had my own apartment when I was 20. And, no, it wasn't luxe by any means. :D
  • icemom011
    icemom011 Posts: 999 Member
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    JeepHair77 wrote: »
    I have a similar struggle. My MIL lives with us, cooks every night, and no, there's no recipe for me to input - it's all in her head and she measures nothing. Making my own meals after she'd been cooking for us would be rude and hurt her feelings, and her food is delicious! Jumping in to help isn't really an option - she's usually cooking so that dinner is ready when we walk in the door after work.

    It's a good problem to have, really.

    I do the best I can to guesstimate her ingredients in the recipe builder. But the best advice I can offer you is portion control. I eat carefully (even obsessively) for breakfast and lunch, the meals I have 100% control over. Then I eat her meals for dinner, but I keep my portions small and avoid the tortillas and Mexican rice. It seems mostly to have been a fairly successful plan - I've lost at approximately the rate I should be.

    Agreed with that. Same thing you would do going out, portion control, stay away from eating a lot of high calorie food, try some, just don't overdo.
  • absentmindedhousewife
    absentmindedhousewife Posts: 68 Member
    edited April 2016
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    Sounds sabotage-y to me. Not that she cooks but that she's using it to lay on the guilt. (That this is a new plan of hers points to this. If she was always this way her motivations would be easier to see.) You're just going to have to allow her to have her tantrum, tell her you love her, and take care of your own food needs.

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