13 yrs old Girl diet??!
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She may have not used the politically correct words, but she has every right to be concerned about her daughter growing up to be an unhealthy cow.. I was a fat kid who was put on a diet.. It's not that bad... It truly sounds like you guys are the ones with self esteem problems.. In my opinion, being concerned about her HEALTH is more important than someones feelings.
Tackling her weight NOW rather than when she's in her mid 30's would be much more beneficial. That being said, it's good advice to talk to a Doc, don't rely on some online forum for this one
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kennycbaker wrote: »She may have not used the politically correct words, but she has every right to be concerned about her daughter growing up to be an unhealthy cow.. I was a fat kid who was put on a diet.. It's not that bad... It truly sounds like you guys are the ones with self esteem problems.. In my opinion, being concerned about her HEALTH is more important than someones feelings.
Tackling her weight NOW rather than when she's in her mid 30's would be much more beneficial. That being said, it's good advice to talk to a Doc, don't rely on some online forum for this one
So it's okay for the Mother to focus on her child's physical health, while potentially damaging her child's mental health; which could lead to the child's physical health being damaged anyway through a potential eating disorder because of the child's Mother fat shaming her child?3 -
you r rightPrizePopple wrote: »ralostaz2000 wrote: »Thank u all alot for all these helpful advises...u all really releived my heart..I was so worried that this thing will get out if control..but as most of u said...I am not bringing anymore snacks to the house...I limited starchy and fatty food to sone extent...and i stopped mentioning weight issues in the house...
So..sooner or later..she will learn how to take care of her diet and body...and its gonna be something from the past...because neither I nor her father have a obesity history and if we sometimes get alittle bit off track...we are back to our ideal weights after sometime.
Hopefully she will get rid of these extra kilos and be a slim beautiful girl
For some reason that last comment there really doesn't sit well with me. I mean, maybe I could see if you had said a healthy young lady, but equating slim with beauty in regards to your child sounds absolutely horrible. She does not have to be whatever you seem to think slim is to be beautiful. Being active and mindful of food choices is what you should be hoping for as a parent, because it's that mindframe that will set your daughter up for a life that doesn't include an unhealthy relationship with her body or food. As others have said she is at a point in her life where she is vulnerable, and what she learns now at 13 is what she will embrace - and if it's shady AF she'll struggle later in life to change it (you know, like I am in my mid 30's).2 -
ronjsteele1 wrote: »When my DD was 10-13 she seemed to get a round little belly and chunk up quite a bit. I am not a skinny minnie and I was quietly worried within myself that she was going to struggle as she got older. We eat healthy anyway so we continued to and she continued to learn by example what to eat and to be active. That little girl is now days away from 15. She's 5'6" tall and soaking wet weighs 103#'s. She was still growing and she put on chunk weight before her height hit. I am soooooo glad I never said anything and we just kept eating well and hiking a lot. I would suggest you do the same. You do not want to set your daughter up for a life of feeling awful about herself (I was that kid) and no matter how she ends up, she needs to know she's love regardless of her weight. I would check your motives and feelings at the door with this one.
A nice story with nice words from u...as u said...I never make it hard for her and I rarely rarely mention weight things to her...but what made ask the question here is that sometimes I feel that she want hardly to lose weight but she is highly tempted by delicious food☺
So O said maybe if i will post my question I will surely here some similar stories and they went...
So this was between me and MFP forum only1 -
kennycbaker wrote: »She may have not used the politically correct words, but she has every right to be concerned about her daughter growing up to be an unhealthy cow.. I was a fat kid who was put on a diet.. It's not that bad... It truly sounds like you guys are the ones with self esteem problems.. In my opinion, being concerned about her HEALTH is more important than someones feelings.
Tackling her weight NOW rather than when she's in her mid 30's would be much more beneficial. That being said, it's good advice to talk to a Doc, don't rely on some online forum for this one
You stay classy.
ralostaz2000 wrote: »ronjsteele1 wrote: »When my DD was 10-13 she seemed to get a round little belly and chunk up quite a bit. I am not a skinny minnie and I was quietly worried within myself that she was going to struggle as she got older. We eat healthy anyway so we continued to and she continued to learn by example what to eat and to be active. That little girl is now days away from 15. She's 5'6" tall and soaking wet weighs 103#'s. She was still growing and she put on chunk weight before her height hit. I am soooooo glad I never said anything and we just kept eating well and hiking a lot. I would suggest you do the same. You do not want to set your daughter up for a life of feeling awful about herself (I was that kid) and no matter how she ends up, she needs to know she's love regardless of her weight. I would check your motives and feelings at the door with this one.
A nice story with nice words from u...as u said...I never make it hard for her and I rarely rarely mention weight things to her...but what made ask the question here is that sometimes I feel that she want hardly to lose weight but she is highly tempted by delicious food☺
So O said maybe if i will post my question I will surely here some similar stories and they went...
So this was between me and MFP forum only
At 13 she's not likely in need of weight loss unless her pediatrician is also extending concern. This is where you teach your child about food, healthy choices, and being active.
/story
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Just get her to get into a sport she might enjoy.0
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It is very common for girls that are on the cusp of puberty/menarche/a growth spurt to gain weight. Talk to your pediatrician.4
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buy yourselves some bikes and go for rides together.2
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I can't tell you a specific amount but I've seen many articles stating children in their teenage years, especially women, need between 2100-2500 calories a day for their body to carry out metabolic processes and ....puberty. I would say carry her to a nutritionist rather than a pediatrician. Keep in mind she's 13 so puberty may give her some height and even out her height:weight ratio over time. But for now, ensure she is getting in that exercise and eating healthily at home at school until you can get professional help1
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This whole thing just makes me sad.
For this kid, I mean. Who will grow up and spend her whole life thinking the only thing her mother cares about is that she be slim and pretty.
Trust me. I know. I was never heavy, and I still know that the only thing my mother cares about is that I be slim and pretty... and also, that I will never be slim or pretty enough.11 -
PrizePopple wrote: »kennycbaker wrote: »She may have not used the politically correct words, but she has every right to be concerned about her daughter growing up to be an unhealthy cow.. I was a fat kid who was put on a diet.. It's not that bad... It truly sounds like you guys are the ones with self esteem problems.. In my opinion, being concerned about her HEALTH is more important than someones feelings.
Tackling her weight NOW rather than when she's in her mid 30's would be much more beneficial. That being said, it's good advice to talk to a Doc, don't rely on some online forum for this one
You stay classy.ralostaz2000 wrote: »ronjsteele1 wrote: »When my DD was 10-13 she seemed to get a round little belly and chunk up quite a bit. I am not a skinny minnie and I was quietly worried within myself that she was going to struggle as she got older. We eat healthy anyway so we continued to and she continued to learn by example what to eat and to be active. That little girl is now days away from 15. She's 5'6" tall and soaking wet weighs 103#'s. She was still growing and she put on chunk weight before her height hit. I am soooooo glad I never said anything and we just kept eating well and hiking a lot. I would suggest you do the same. You do not want to set your daughter up for a life of feeling awful about herself (I was that kid) and no matter how she ends up, she needs to know she's love regardless of her weight. I would check your motives and feelings at the door with this one.
A nice story with nice words from u...as u said...I never make it hard for her and I rarely rarely mention weight things to her...but what made ask the question here is that sometimes I feel that she want hardly to lose weight but she is highly tempted by delicious food☺
So O said maybe if i will post my question I will surely here some similar stories and they went...
So this was between me and MFP forum only
At 13 she's not likely in need of weight loss unless her pediatrician is also extending concern. This is where you teach your child about food, healthy choices, and being active.
/story
This is just wrong. OP please talk to her pediatrician and do some research about how women develop. Your 13 year old is not going to look like a skinny 11-12 year old ever again (hopefully). She is going to get more curvy as her body prepares her to turn into a woman. I can't tell by your language if you mean she doesn't act like she wants to lose weight, or that she does want to lose weight. I also can't tell by your posts what you mean by overweight - that is subjective to a point. Yes by all means teach her about nutrition, nutrition labels, being active, and owning her own beauty. But even the comment about not bringing fatty foods into the house - some fatty foods are healthy, especially for growing children and teens. What do you consider a fatty food?1 -
My daughter is almost 13, and I would never have her count calories. Lead by example by being active and making healthy food choices. You don't have to eliminate snacks, teach her about moderation. And make sure you make it known that HEALTH is what you're going for, not beauty or striving to be thin.5
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Just offering another perspective here: OP you net under 1200 calories a day quite consistently (according to your diary). For all we know you are the one with food issues and your daughter could very well be eating a normal healthy amount for her age, it just may look like she eats a lot of food compared to the amount you eat. OP has not disclosed any stats about her daughter other than she thinks she is "above her ideal weight"....whatever that may be.2
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ralostaz2000 wrote: »I limited starchy and fatty food to sone extent...
This is part of the problem, right here. You're limiting certain foods. This is going to backfire on you in so many ways. Your daughter doesn't need to be limited on "starchy" or "fatty" foods. She only needs a healthy and balanced diet of all foods. By you limiting what she can and cannot have, and labeling them as bad or fatty, you're setting her up to have a poor relationship with food.ralostaz2000 wrote: »and i stopped mentioning weight issues in the house...
It's good that you've stopped mentioning it, but now is probably the time for some damage control, because more than likely, since you've already been saying she needs to lose weight, you've cause her insecurity and body image issues. Not from her peers, but from YOU. So now it's up to you to undo all of that. You're going to need to do some major back pedaling and tell her that she is already beautiful and still growing, etc. And get rid of your preconceived notion that slim equals beauty.
TBH, I feel sorry for your daughter to even have to go through this. Having been that insecure pre-teen and teenager, I WISH I had never experienced the things that were said or done that caused me to emotionally turn to food and get bigger. It's your job as a parent to teach her how to be healthy, active, confident, smart, etc. so do that and never ever again, even if you think it's in the most benign and harmless way, assert that she needs to lose weight UNLESS there is a real medical concern. Vanity is far less important than her self esteem.4 -
For our daughter and ourselves, we looked at a whole food vegan lifestyle because we want her not to have to struggle with her weight as we have and think there must be a better way.
Note that this is a a diet rich in fruits and vegetables, versus vegetarian or vegan diets based on processed foods.
Whole food vegans have had success in reversing overfat, obesity, and illness, in a psychologically healthy, non-restrictive way.
It is also easier food prep than heavier, more complex raw vegan 'foodie' recipes. The exercise element is also simple - it gives you the energy for 'Insanity' or P90X, but you can walk, bike ride, or be sedentary and the body still adopts its ideal form.
Forks over Knives is an interesting documentary you could watch together (on Netflix or rent online), and they just began offering meal delivery.
There are also raw plant-based diets like 80/10/10RV (80%carb/10fat/10plant protein raw vegan), while others eat high-raw, like Eat to Live.
All of these focus on reaching "minimums" of hydration, fiber, whole foods, calories, and exercise. They then limit fat and salt (and toxins) to low "maximums." It's common sense, but very different from a Standard American Diet (SAD).
Best of luck! If you want a family physician's advice, I would encourage you to read Dr. Fuhrman's site http://www.drfuhrman.com/children/default.aspx
Also Dr. Esselstyn, a renowned cardiologist who directs the cardiovascular prevention and reversal program at the Cleveland Clinic. http://www.dresselstyn.com/site/-1 -
I would talk to her doctor. I would not create a "diet" plan for a child. Instead I would watch their portions and provide them with a healthy well balanced diet . I would include treats in moderation and teach portion control. I would also get active with her. Go on bike rides and walks . play soccer or basketball together. Tread lightly op, 13 is a tough age alone. Creating a diet plan could end up backfiring in many ways.0
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For our daughter and ourselves, we looked at a whole food vegan lifestyle because we want her not to have to struggle with her weight as we have and think there must be a better way.
Note that this is a a diet rich in fruits and vegetables, versus vegetarian or vegan diets based on processed foods.
Whole food vegans have had success in reversing overfat, obesity, and illness, in a psychologically healthy, non-restrictive way.
It is also easier food prep than heavier, more complex raw vegan 'foodie' recipes. The exercise element is also simple - it gives you the energy for 'Insanity' or P90X, but you can walk, bike ride, or be sedentary and the body still adopts its ideal form.
Forks over Knives is an interesting documentary you could watch together (on Netflix or rent online), and they just began offering meal delivery.
There are also raw plant-based diets like 80/10/10RV (80%carb/10fat/10plant protein raw vegan), while others eat high-raw, like Eat to Live.
All of these focus on reaching "minimums" of hydration, fiber, whole foods, calories, and exercise. They then limit fat and salt (and toxins) to low "maximums." It's common sense, but very different from a Standard American Diet (SAD).
Best of luck! If you want a family physician's advice, I would encourage you to read Dr. Fuhrman's site http://www.drfuhrman.com/children/default.aspx
Also Dr. Esselstyn, a renowned cardiologist who directs the cardiovascular prevention and reversal program at the Cleveland Clinic. http://www.dresselstyn.com/site/
It all boils down to calorie consumption, not the type of food because there're other's, that consume only the foods; that you & your family does but guess what? They're overweight/obese also.1 -
I read an article recently that said not all people on diets will develop eating disorders, but almost ALL eating disorders started with dieting. Just be really careful with her and talk to her doctor.4
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When I was 13, I was fat with stringy hair and braces, but my mother told me all the time how pretty I was. It was nice to hear, since I had quite enough people in my life to tell me that I was fat and ugly.8
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