Have you mourned?

jaga13 · April 2016

The great thing about counting calories is no particular food has to be off limits. I just have to not overeat each day. Most days I follow this rule, and been for overs year. But mentally it's a struggle every day. Even when I follow the plan, I still wish I could go crazy and eat recklessly. I'm not saying I do it (at least, not that often) but I WANT to. The habit of logging hasn't turned off the desire to overeat. I wish it would. I know overeating makes me feel awful and full in the short term, and obviously prevents my weight loss goals. But these desire is still there anyway.

Have you "mourned" overeating and completely moved past the desire to eat with no control? (I'm not talking about a yearly special holiday indulgence or occasionally saving up calories for a big weekend indulgence. I'm talking About the desire to just eat too much with no planning or control)

jemhh · April 2016

My days of wanting to do that are few and far between now. At this point I know I could do it for a day and have no lasting ill effects like weight gain but the temporary bloating and overall icky feeling make it not worth it to me. There's just no pull to do it anymore.

amyn73 · April 2016

This is a great thought. I feel like people sometimes villify overeating when really it has been a great pleasure and comfort to people. Doesn't make it right or healthy but it is something I personally miss sometimes.

queenliz99 · April 2016

I have mourned but it is not food.

Bukawww · April 2016

I think I will struggle with that forever...I was just talking about this. I have lost 60lbs and logged for over 480 days now. I know exactly how awful and self loathing I will feel afterwards. It still happens all too often. I have come to terms with my worst days (TMI - sorry - ovulation and the week leading up to my period). So basically I struggle like crazy for 2 weeks of every single month. It makes for an interesting mental health situation.

capaul42 · April 2016

I do miss being able to sit and eat half a bag of ruffles at one sitting

kommodevaran · April 2016

For me it's a difference between desire and want - I still have an occasional desire to overeat, but I want to just eat what I need. I won't mourn something that isn't "me". I never liked overeating, and I always knew I shouldn't, it was more that I believed I couldn't stop, didn't have the power, it wouldn't make any difference (I was already fat, or, could never be thin, so why bother), or maybe because I'd already blown it, I could as well go on.

Lounmoun · April 2016

Overeating by a lot wasn't really something I wanted to do. Once I was aware of calorie counts of foods and correct portion sizes for me I just felt like things made sense finally. I don't feel sad but more relieved that I can say "this is all I need."

Cindy01Louisiana · April 2016

capaul42 wrote: »

I do miss being able to sit and eat half a bag of ruffles at one sitting

Yeah! For me Doritos!! Especially on a road trip!!

pebble4321 · April 2016

I can't say I've "mourned", but I'm definitely resigning myself to reality: I just can't overeat on a regular basis and expect to stay healthy.

Frankly, that sucks. I know overeating is not healthy, but it's pleasurable and it's unfortunate that I developed that habit and that means of finding pleasure. Now I have to work on changing it, I don't know if I ever truly will feel as though that is completely gone, but I have to try.

distinctlybeautiful · April 2016

No, it's not something I miss. There are days when I feel like I want to eat everything, but I almost never really want that. Once I eat something, that feeling tends to go away. What I think happens sometimes on those days is that I eat less nutritiously, but I don't go crazy overboard with how much I'm eating. I've also been really diligent about logging everything, which I do with a food scale, and it's pretty well impossible for me to eat without control and keep that up. I also think I have enough of those indulgent days that I feel totally satisfied - and I don't even "save up" calories for those days or reserve them for holidays only.

mzfrizz15 · April 2016

My desire to binge has become less frequent as time has gone on. It feels like a bit of an accomplishment to feel sated on less food than before. I've found new ways to deal with bad feelings other than burying them in food.

That being said, I still get days where I want to eat everything in sight. I let myself have an occasional cheat, but get back to work afterwards. Bearing oneself up does nothing but bad things for morale and willpower.

amusedmonkey · April 2016

For some things, but not for others. I do miss being able to eat 2-3 cups of mixed nuts a day in blissful ignorance, but my current portion of rice, which used to be 4 times bigger, is the new norm and I don't see myself wanting to eat more of it again.

I like the feeling of a full tummy. It's been 3 years and I have yet to honestly describe the feeling I get after an overindulging meal as "icky". It could be slightly uncomfortable, but the accompanying sense of relaxation and well-being more than makes up for it.

I have accepted that eating with abandon every day will never be an option, but my definition of "abandon" is vastly different from what it used to be and I'm physically incapable of consuming the same amounts of oil I used to consume without feeling sick.

What I do miss is the ignorance. I'm just too aware now. I would have a heavier day every now and then but I'm fully aware how heavy it is. It's just less spontaneous and my mind is actively engaged with the food types and amounts I'm consuming. I miss that kind of innocence and spontaneity.

endlessfall16 · April 2016

OP, you surprise me that after years you still haven't come to the realization that we CAN eat completely freely the way you describe quite often. In fact 1 or 2 times a week for me.

Last week actually 3 times. I'm talking about really eating until I couldn't eat anymore!!! Beef for main courses, over a pint of ice cream with all the toppings, beef jerky, mac and cheese, you name it. After the three days my weight showed a 5 lbs gain. Then, one day with cutback and became a bit more active, the weight dropped 2 lbs.

During the these times I felt more energetic than ever and none of the food hang up.

It's definitely not possible, and right down stupid, for me to watch the calories everyday. Doing so would mean I have to forgo family gathering, friend hangout, my curiosity. It's not really necessary.

It's quite difficult to eat over 5000 calories (without feeling sick or still having an appetite). There are too many meals/days in between for us to cut back with. You are too dramatic with the "mourning".

MommyL2015 · April 2016

Stuffing my face is more like an old friend that I grew up with but have since grown up and moved away from. I still visit every once in a while though.

I try to eat foods that really fill me up daily though, like a mountain of stir-fried or roasted veggies, or a big bowl of hot cereal with a cup of hot chocolate in the evening. There are a lot of foods you can get that "stuffed" feeling with with very reasonable amounts of calories.

allenpriest · April 2016

I had to learn to deal with m emotional issues with something other than food. That forced me to face some things I had been avoiding by self medicating with eating. Only once I dealt with those issues could I really begin to tackle the 200+ pounds I had packed on.

SezxyStef · April 2016

I wouldn't call it mourning...what I find is if I have set aside a day for "eating whatever I want in the qty I want" I can't...I am not comfortable physically doing that and the next day I have food hang overs if I "stuff" myself.

it can be a bit of a "disappointment" I guess but at the same time eh...I have other things to make me happy.

jaga13 · April 2016

endlessfall16 wrote: »

OP, you surprise me that after years you still haven't come to the realization that we CAN eat completely freely the way you describe quite often. In fact 1 or 2 times a week for me.

Last week actually 3 times. I'm talking about really eating until I couldn't eat anymore!!! Beef for main courses, over a pint of ice cream with all the toppings, beef jerky, mac and cheese, you name it. After the three days my weight showed a 5 lbs gain. Then, one day with cutback and became a bit more active, the weight dropped 2 lbs.

During the these times I felt more energetic than ever and none of the food hang up.

It's definitely not possible, and right down stupid, for me to watch the calories everyday. Doing so would mean I have to forgo family gathering, friend hangout, my curiosity. It's not really necessary.

It's quite difficult to eat over 5000 calories (without feeling sick or still having an appetite). There are too many meals/days in between for us to cut back with. You are too dramatic with the "mourning".

And you surprised me too so I guess we're even

Maybe that works for you. I'm 4'11 tall and have had a lot of plateaus towards the last 10 lbs. the issue for me is overeating a few times a week keeps me in maintenance. I don't want to be in maintenance. I want to lose those last 10ish lbs. so no, I can't overeat on a regular basis any more. That's not dramatic, it's realistic.

serasmommy · April 2016

allenpriest wrote: »

I had to learn to deal with m emotional issues with something other than food. That forced me to face some things I had been avoiding by self medicating with eating. Only once I dealt with those issues could I really begin to tackle the 200+ pounds I had packed on.

Honestly though, how do we do this? Counseling I suppose, but I hate that for an answer.
I've recently gone back on antidepressants because I'm having an incredibly difficult time with stress and I have to admit that I cannot do this thing called life like this! I'm either overeating or drinking way too much alcohol.

brb_2013 · April 2016

I struggle with it too, I guess I'm still adjusting but really I am happy to be moving away from those behaviors. They never once made me happy, I was never once proud of buying a two pack of cake slices at a bakery and eating both in one sitting then following up with dinner as usual. It disgusted me and the behavior of mindless eating is what disgusts me. I'm working very hard to at least be present and mindful when I don't log what I eat but I'm planning to start logging even the junk on weekends this week. 4 weeks of awesome weekdays, and 4 weeks of unlogged weekends. That changes now, and I'm proud of it and what's to come.

What I did mourn was the body I had after losing 100lbs and then gaining half back. Not going to focus on a lack of stuffing myself mindlessly. If I need to stuff myself I'll eat my chicken stir fry plate. I was so full last night it was insane.

shrcpr · April 2016

Eating is not a big deal for me so but I haven't gotten past wanting to drink margaritas all day every day. For something that makes me feel so awful I sure do love it. It's how I gained all my weight and what I've had to mostly give up to lose it.

Have you mourned?

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