Long distance relationships?

Options
faithan84
faithan84 Posts: 717 Member
in Chit-Chat
I'm thinking about the logistics and possibility of starting a long distance relationship. I'm in Georgia, he's in Texas. I work a lot, 6-7 days/week, and I know I'd have to cut back to make it work.

Anyone have a long distance relationship success story? Any tips?

Thanks in advance!
«13

Replies

  • AskTracyAnnK28
    AskTracyAnnK28 Posts: 2,834 Member
    Options
    I think if both people are willing to put in the travel time and the work to maintain the relationship then why not?
  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,793 Member
    Options
    It won't work. Someone else will come along. He'll betray you or you will betray him.

  • Shy_1114
    Shy_1114 Posts: 24 Member
    Options
    They suck.
  • ew_david
    ew_david Posts: 3,473 Member
    Options
    It may work in the beginning, but at some point the distance will break one of you, especially if there's no end of being long distance in sight.
  • vixtris
    vixtris Posts: 688 Member
    Options
    Success story here!! I was young, very young. I really was 14 when I met my husband- yes online- even worse in an online shooter game lol. We talked for years before meeting in person. At first, he was just an acquaintance that I played the game frequently with, then we became friends on messenger and frequently conversation. We got into talking a lot one night and just hit it off since then, which led to talking on the phone almost all the time. We eventually met in person. We stayed with each other for a weeks time about 3 times before we moved in together. We have been living together now for 11 years, married for 3. But, as of recently (actually, ever since I lost the weight), our relationship has become more of a companionate love. But, that really has nothing to do with meeting online. All I've got to say is be CAREFUL, and make sure you know what you really want in a partner. Its hard to keep the spark going in an online relationship.
  • maeggggan
    maeggggan Posts: 71 Member
    Options
    i have been in one for 2 years. i honestly was one of those people who thought they could never last, but now i feel completely different. yes it has been hard but so worth it. after two years we only have 1 more month of being long distance. you just have to be honest with one another. talk, everyday! share how you are feeling. there should be some "goal" of ending up in the same city, otherwise its pointless to do LDR.
  • punkrockgoth
    punkrockgoth Posts: 534 Member
    Options
    Long distance is super hard. I've been long distance with my fiancé for 8 months because I moved overseas to study abroad for a year. The trip was being planned long before we started dating. It has been really, really hard. We are both really glad that only 2 more weeks until I move back home.

    I'm of the belief that they only work long term if there is an end in sight. This is based on my own personal experience as well as what I've seen from those around me who get into long distance relationships.
  • michellemybelll
    michellemybelll Posts: 2,228 Member
    edited April 2016
    Options
    my SO and i started out long distance. I was living in Florida, him in California. We did the back and forth thing for the first almost year and a half, then I moved out here to be with him in California. My job is extremely flexible, and my location is virtually a non-issue, so it just made sense that I be the one to move. We've now been living together for over a year, we're both very happy together, and are getting married on June 20th of this year :smile:

    And, we actually met here on mfp online first - what are the odds right! LOL


    ETA: that's not to say the long distance part was easy. on the contrary, it was very hard being across the country from each other that first year and a half. We've both said, had there been no resolution to the distance in sight, we don't know if we would've stuck it out.

    oh, and one more thing! Yes honesty and total trust is important and probably paramount to the success of an LDR. I trust him absolutely, and never did we question each other's fidelity the entire time. Neither of us gave any reason to, but it was just never an issue. We communicated constantly, and yeah I just have total trust and faith in him, and he does for me.
  • King_Spicy
    King_Spicy Posts: 821 Member
    edited April 2016
    Options
    Depends on the type of person you both are for how well it will work. Honesty, patience, and independence are key.

    I've had multiple long-distance relationships that could have ended up in marriage had I not ended them for my own reasons. I was extremely happy in any of them. But I like having my alone time, freedom to do what I want, and being able to think about myself above others. (I'm selfish like that).

    One of them was extremely long distance and we only saw each other once or twice a year. She'd come to visit 2 weeks at a time. We were friends for 6 years and in relationships with others that both ended around the same time, and then decided to date each other. Honestly, it was a perfect match, and she was beyond loyal and nice. I just wasn't ready to move as fast as she was since I was 7 years younger, but we kept the relationship for a good 3 years.
  • finny11122
    finny11122 Posts: 8,436 Member
    Options
    faithan84 wrote: »
    I'm thinking about the logistics and possibility of starting a long distance relationship. I'm in Georgia, he's in Texas. I work a lot, 6-7 days/week, and I know I'd have to cut back to make it work.

    Anyone have a long distance relationship success story? Any tips?

    Thanks in advance!

    Dont do it unless you are 100% in love with each other and one of ye is willing to move to the other person s home state . It will come to a point where big decisions have to be made .
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,874 Member
    Options
    Been there and done that, didn't work. The distance was ultimately too much to overcome. I think it's one thing if it's temporary due to job movement or deployment or something...but I think there has to be an end game in RE to how you're going to get together.

    All the flying gets expensive too.
  • Peter_Brady
    Peter_Brady Posts: 3,750 Member
    Options
    I was hoping to have one with @Lady_Spartan15 but I couldn't get her to leave Pittsburgh :/
  • Libertysfate
    Libertysfate Posts: 452 Member
    edited April 2016
    Options
    It can work but only if both people are willing to put in the work and be realistic about how much you'll actually get to see each other and have an end goal in mind. At some point if you plan to make it work for the long haul oe or both of you will have to relocate.

    My boyfriend lives in Canada and I'm in Oklahoma, so...yeah. But yeah, it's still a new relationship and we're both very much willing to work at it. We Skype date and talk every night and know that realistically we won't be able to see each other on a regular basis like other couples. Speaking for myself, I'm emotionally equipped to handle that because I'm very much a solitary person and I keep so busy on on a daily basis it's not even an issue. Plus, I was single for 6 years prior to meeting him so I can be happy on my own.

    When it comes down to it, it's the end game for you two, how much are both of y'all willing to work to make it last, and how much can either of y'all deal with the distance.
  • ValkyriesCharge
    ValkyriesCharge Posts: 11 Member
    Options
    I was in one with my now husband for about a year. We dated for about a month before he had to move about a thousand miles away. This was YEARS ago before free long distance or email, so we couldn't even talk on the phone very frequently. I stayed true to him, but I knew he would not do the same for me (not because he didn't care for me or was disloyal, it was that I was well aware of the hormones of an 18 year old). It was a don't ask, don't tell situation. When he moved back it wasn't long before he enlisted and he broke it off with me, so as to not string me along anymore. We were not in contact at all while he was in the military. As soon as I got word that he was home, I contacted him. That was 20 years ago. Been together ever since. Happily married with two adorable children for 15 years.

    And I'll echo what others have said and what has always made me crazy about others in LDRs. An end must be in sight. Someone has to be willing to move, and really, both of you better be willing (unless there's a kid situation, kids come first!). If either of you makes a PLACE/JOB a priority over the person they love, then that's not love.
  • Peter_Brady
    Peter_Brady Posts: 3,750 Member
    Options
    Lady_Spartan15 wrote: »
    Peter_Brady wrote: »
    I was hoping to have one with @Lady_Spartan15 but I couldn't get her to leave Pittsburgh :/

    You should have come to the ghetto to get me :lol:

    You missed the point. :p
  • Markdjones83
    Markdjones83 Posts: 852 Member
    Options
    Shy_1114 wrote: »
    They suck.

    And not literally right :open_mouth:

Categories