Long distance relationships?

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  • 100poundsx
    100poundsx Posts: 87 Member
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    Was in an LDR for almost 4 years. Florida/Washington State. We ended up breaking up but not because the distance was too much. If you're serious about it, you'll make it work and you two could eventually move in together.
  • rachellech
    rachellech Posts: 40 Member
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    Did long distance twice before and both ended...one because we never had time to fully get to know one another beforehand (never even met - online) and the second, he was in the UK while I was in TX (met up twice) and he didn't want things to move too fast but he also wanted someone local so he can partner with...fast forward years later he says I was his soul mate while he was still in the relationship he chose after our break up...I told him it was too late and never would I disrespect another woman by entertaining such thoughts with a man when he is with her. He stayed with that woman because he didn't want to be alone, but he wasn't the one for me...not loyal. LDRs are hard but I think it works if you are meant for each other. Good luck.
  • debsdoingthis
    debsdoingthis Posts: 454 Member
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    Recently found out that my now Ex was having an LDR. We are in Canada, she in the US. Didn't work out for any of us.
  • Shana67
    Shana67 Posts: 680 Member
    edited April 2016
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    My husband lived in DC when we met, and I was in Colorado. He moved here a couple of months later. I think that it has worked out well :)

    Having said that, I've also dated a guy who lived in Alaska, and that did not work out (clearly), and I attribute most of that to distance, as we were very compatible when we were together.
  • faithan84
    faithan84 Posts: 717 Member
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    Thanks for the responses! I think it will be a "wait and see" situation. We haven't even met in person yet. I was weighing the pros/cons to see if it'd be worth even trying.
  • brianna5913
    brianna5913 Posts: 2 Member
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    It will only work out if the both of you are committed to being with each other.
    It takes so much effort to keep the spark going but if you love each other, it's definitely worth it!
    Good Luck!!!
  • tcarp8
    tcarp8 Posts: 370 Member
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    I think the further the better.
  • TorontoDiane
    TorontoDiane Posts: 1,413 Member
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    it would only work if you balance out the responsibility of taking terms being together until you reach a decision where you cannot handle being apart and make it work in finding a place you both want to live... and on top of this.. honesty and trust are so important.. it will not work without honesty and trust.. that comes even before love in my books.. best of luck
  • Alicia_Monique
    Alicia_Monique Posts: 338 Member
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    I've been dating my boyfriend for over 3 years the entire time has been long distance... like... transcontinental long distance.

    He's in Ireland and I'm in the USA. I would have it no other way. He's my partner, best friend, and my other half.

    There have been some very, very difficult and trying times and it has taken A LOT of patience, commitment, and communication from both of us--but we are a stronger couple because of it.

    Both have to be willing and ready, and always keep in mind that, in the end, one persons (or both) life is going to change forever and you're going to be extremely far away from all of your family and friends, and it's something you will have to agree and compromise on.

    Essentially... take a normal relationship and its stresses and times it by 100. But, if it's supposed to happen... in the end it will be more than worth it. :smile:
  • Kvm11628
    Kvm11628 Posts: 7,386 Member
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    TheRoadDog wrote: »
    It won't work. Someone else will come along. He'll betray you or you will betray him.

    Someone can come along if you live in the same house. This argument holds no water.

    Dated my husband long distance for nearly three years before we got married (New Hsmpshire and Chicago/Dallas). We've been together for 18 years. If you want it to work it will.
  • hdatres
    hdatres Posts: 635 Member
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    Nope
  • dendysill
    dendysill Posts: 90 Member
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    I tried long distance relationship twice, the first one was a flop, hindsight, Thank God. The second ...we have been married for 6 years now. He is my best friend. <3
  • Shy_1114
    Shy_1114 Posts: 24 Member
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    Markdjones83 wrote: »
    Shy_1114 wrote: »
    They suck.

    And not literally right :open_mouth:

    Exactly!! That's the hardest part, the lack of getting busy on a regular basis. It's nice that the relationship is built on deeper things, but sex is just as important for building and maintaining the bonds in a romantic relationship.
  • NadiaMayl
    NadiaMayl Posts: 495 Member
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    LDRs are hard! My husband and I did it -Texas to The Netherlands. It took a lot of communication to agree what we found acceptable (you know, going out with friends, clubbing, who calls when, how often you call, what's the agreement if you don't hear from each other in 'x' hours, etc. etc. etc. ), who would travel when, who would eventually move, etc. plus if you are in the early stages, this is how you'll get to know each other and then expect the shock of seeing the real each other when you move in together.
    Hard stuff but we made it!!! Been together for 16 years now and have two kiddos!!
  • perkymommy
    perkymommy Posts: 1,642 Member
    edited April 2016
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    I'm happily married now (we met online but lived 10 minutes apart) but no I would not have done long distance back then.

    Most situations I've heard of there is one person that isn't willing to travel and will make promises and end up not following through. Beware of some people who just like the idea of getting attention online but have no plans of ever uprooting to move or even just to visit out of state and when you try to make plans to go see them they always have something else to do. Not catfishing but just real people who will skype, talk on the phone but not take it any farther. They are content with single life and just want to maintain a distant relationship. Just be careful and try to see the signs very early on when you do meet someone.
  • michellemybelll
    michellemybelll Posts: 2,228 Member
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    TheRoadDog wrote: »
    It won't work. Someone else will come along. He'll betray you or you will betray him.

    False.
  • finny11122
    finny11122 Posts: 8,436 Member
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    faithan84 wrote: »
    Thanks for the responses! I think it will be a "wait and see" situation. We haven't even met in person yet. I was weighing the pros/cons to see if it'd be worth even trying.

    Slow your role darling . One date at a time . No need to be thinking about relationships if ye did not meet in person yet.
  • Kvm11628
    Kvm11628 Posts: 7,386 Member
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    finny11122 wrote: »
    faithan84 wrote: »
    Thanks for the responses! I think it will be a "wait and see" situation. We haven't even met in person yet. I was weighing the pros/cons to see if it'd be worth even trying.

    Slow your role darling . One date at a time . No need to be thinking about relationships if ye did not meet in person yet.

    Yep. Putting the cart WAY in front of the horse, so to speak. Start projecting too far ahead and there will be no opportunity for a LDR.
  • faithan84
    faithan84 Posts: 717 Member
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    I know, I'm well aware that I think too far in advance. I overanalyze as a protective measure. I tend to get emotionally involved before I consider it logically... so this is me trying to avoid that.

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