Have you mourned?
Replies
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But mostly no. I know this is how it is. Life changes.1
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Sabine_Stroehm wrote: »
Not at all what I got from his comments.
Also, @endlessfall16, we get it: you can eat whatever you want and never have any trouble with your weight management, you special snowflake. Clearly this thread offers you nothing, unless what you want is to continually disagree with people who are telling you that their experience is very different than yours.
I may be misreading him then. So far he's outside said, "So, why worry and miss out and "mourn" the lack of a couple all out treat days a month? Where's the confidence in your self control?," has called the OP dramatic for their sense of loss -- all the while talking about how much he can eat and how satisfied he is while still losing weight.
This would be fine, absent the context that he's doing it in response to a thread discussing if people struggle with how they cannot eat as much as they used to, in the way they used to. It strikes me as obtusely missing the point at best, and deliberately mean-spirited at worst.5 -
@Sabine_Stroehm, thanks for getting what I mean.
@gramarye, not just me but many others also implied that mourning should be used for lost loved ones. Or they do not mourn foods at all.
If the requirement for this thread is to only offer sympathy for this woe is me, then I kinda missed the point. But I don't think there's any such requirement. Intentionally or not, you misread my posts when you used a special snowflake to describe me/my msg, when I specifically said I gained 5 lbs from treats days (just like everyone else). That gain was a little more extreme than necessary.
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Anyway, moving on, my message is that a more successful, better alternative is don't mourn, don't avoid a treat day. It's healthy psychologically and physiologically. Don't regret, feel guilty over a few pounds gain as we often see here. Lay out the facts (eg there are lots of days, meals where you can cut back; time it takes you to gain, lose; the values of treat days) and have more confidence, knowledge and control over your wt loss plan.
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I found out I was gluten intolerant about 6 months ago, and I TRULY mourned the loss of eating gluten. Denial, anger, the whole 9 yards.
At this point, I'm mostly over it. I still experience the occasional "moan" when I smell yeast rolls or fresh baked cookies, but for the most part I'm done being mad and feeling sorry for myself.
I realize that this does not exactly fall into the category of mourning the loss of overeating, but in a way it does. I discovered that wheat was/is addictive and it was causing my overeating issues. It was ALWAYS what made me fall off of the weight loss wagon. I think back over my binges over the years - when I was trying to count calories - but I would have a moment when I would say, "Forget it. I'm just gonna eat." It was always something involving wheat. Fresh baked cookies. Hot yeast rolls. Oreos. Finding out about the gluten issue has been so hard, and yet, it has solved my overeating problem altogether. Sure, I can binge on sugar, but I don't tend to.
That must be rough. At the same time though, in a way it might be 'easier' if you know that you'll get sick if you eat that stuff? Easier in the sense that it's just not really an option... I mean, I know that if something is going to make me sick, I'm less tempted to eat it.
You would think it would be easier to avoid because we'd avoid the sickness, but it's actually quite torturous to want something you physically shouldn't have, when everyone else is eating it. Cupcakes. I gave in this weekend, and ate two. Thanx to my celiac, I had a horrible stomach ache for half an hour, and am blessed with a lovely rash all over my chest and arms today. I knew it would happen, I call it my celiac Russian roulette...because...Cupcakes
But to be fair, I avoid wheat like the plague 98% of the time, it's just when we buy that crap for our granddaughter, and those little packages were calling my name..."Tracyyyyyyyyyyyy"...ffs. 0 -
endlessfall16 wrote: »blues4miles,
I'm both a snacker and a binger.
My house is awash with chips, nuts, m&m, beef jerky, various drinks and beer types, etc. I'm a curious person. I used to eat snacks all day but since beginning of this year I kinda do much less.
And I'm addicted to buffets, almost any kinds. People going with me got freaked out by the amount of foods I eat.
I'm not sure about " a LOT of the overweight people don't ever feel full." Every single (overweight) person going out to eat with me eventually told me they were very full and couldn't eat another bite since I asked them as I tended to take much longer to finish, unless they lied and acted very well.
I could get uncomfortably full immediately after a restaurant visit and then comfortably full and cravings-free for the next 10, 12 hours. When I'm full I can eat more but it'd probably be like chewing on a day old bagel -- not interesting or pleasurable at all.
Anyway, I've been thinking about the point that I wanted to make in this thread.
For most people it took years to put on 10s, 100+ lbs from consistent overeating; and many here took months or a much shorter time to drop 30, 70 lbs. So, why worry and miss out and "mourn" the lack of a couple all out treat days a month? Where's the confidence in your self control?
The bit about overweight people not feeling full was from the study/documentary, not my opinion. I'd have to dig it up again (it may have been the BBC Why Thin People Are Not Fat). The not feeling full for hours is my personal experience. It sounds like your personal experience is different, I know you probably already fled from this thread, but just understand that there are plenty of us that eat to bursting and still eat afterwards. And still enjoy eating afterwards, even if we are uncomfortable. That's why it's a mental thing, not a physical thing half the time.
And about not gaining weight quickly, I know that's the common trope, but I did put on 40-50 lbs in about 8 months which is how I'm in my current dilemma. I then maintained that gain for 1-2 years before getting serious and trying to lose again. All I did was stop running, but did not change my eating or really worry about my eating. It's like my brain went to a set point of eating. I didn't have any traumatic events happen, and it was quick enough I certainly knew it was happening. But I lacked the motivation to get serious about watching what I ate for another couple years. All in my head, not limited by how much ice cream my stomach can store at any one given time.
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blues4miles wrote: »endlessfall16 wrote: »blues4miles,
I'm both a snacker and a binger. My house is awash with chips, nuts, m&m, beef jerky, various drinks and beer types, etc. I'm a curious person. I used to eat snacks all day but since beginning of this year I kinda do much less.
And I'm addicted to buffets, almost any kinds. People going with me got freaked out by the amount of foods I eat.
I'm not sure about " a LOT of the overweight people don't ever feel full." Every single (overweight) person going out to eat with me eventually told me they were very full and couldn't eat another bite since I asked them as I tended to take much longer to finish, unless they lied and acted very well.
I could get uncomfortably full immediately after a restaurant visit and then comfortably full and cravings-free for the next 10, 12 hours. When I'm full I can eat more but it'd probably be like chewing on a day old bagel -- not interesting or pleasurable at all.
Anyway, I've been thinking about the point that I wanted to make in this thread.
For most people it took years to put on 10s, 100+ lbs from consistent overeating; and many here took months or a much shorter time to drop 30, 70 lbs. So, why worry and miss out and "mourn" the lack of a couple all out treat days a month? Where's the confidence in your self control?
The bit about overweight people not feeling full was from the study/documentary, not my opinion. I'd have to dig it up again (it may have been the BBC Why Thin People Are Not Fat). The not feeling full for hours is my personal experience. It sounds like your personal experience is different, I know you probably already fled from this thread, but just understand that there are plenty of us that eat to bursting and still eat afterwards. And still enjoy eating afterwards, even if we are uncomfortable. That's why it's a mental thing, not a physical thing half the time.
And about not gaining weight quickly, I know that's the common trope, but I did put on 40-50 lbs in about 8 months which is how I'm in my current dilemma. I then maintained that gain for 1-2 years before getting serious and trying to lose again. All I did was stop running, but did not change my eating or really worry about my eating. It's like my brain went to a set point of eating. I didn't have any traumatic events happen, and it was quick enough I certainly knew it was happening. But I lacked the motivation to get serious about watching what I ate for another couple years. All in my head, not limited by how much ice cream my stomach can store at any one given time.
Now that group is what I'd call "special snowflakes". If we like to be argumentative, instead of speaking from experience, we can dig up plenty of extreme examples, like eating "gallons" of ice cream as some sort of everyday activity of a typical overweight person. Seriously, do you think the OP and those like her refer to this kind of eating that they said they mourn? That's a big chasm between eating like that and mfp style eating!
I agree with you that there's a big mental component. That's why I also advocate addressing it psychologically, resolving any hang up and moving on. Many on here sound like foods have a death grip on them.
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endlessfall16 wrote: »
Anyway, moving on, my message is that a more successful, better alternative is don't mourn, don't avoid a treat day. It's healthy psychologically and physiologically. Don't regret, feel guilty over a few pounds gain as we often see here. Lay out the facts (eg there are lots of days, meals where you can cut back; time it takes you to gain, lose; the values of treat days) and have more confidence, knowledge and control over your wt loss plan.
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We aren't "mourning" that we can't have treat days. Most of us still do. We're "mourning" the fact that we can no longer eat whatever we want whenever we want, which is how the vast majority of us ended up fat. Mourning is just a little bit of an overdramatic description of the real process of how we come to terms and accept it, not us "feeling sorry for ourselves".5 -
endlessfall16 wrote: »blues4miles wrote: »endlessfall16 wrote: »blues4miles,
I'm both a snacker and a binger. My house is awash with chips, nuts, m&m, beef jerky, various drinks and beer types, etc. I'm a curious person. I used to eat snacks all day but since beginning of this year I kinda do much less.
And I'm addicted to buffets, almost any kinds. People going with me got freaked out by the amount of foods I eat.
I'm not sure about " a LOT of the overweight people don't ever feel full." Every single (overweight) person going out to eat with me eventually told me they were very full and couldn't eat another bite since I asked them as I tended to take much longer to finish, unless they lied and acted very well.
I could get uncomfortably full immediately after a restaurant visit and then comfortably full and cravings-free for the next 10, 12 hours. When I'm full I can eat more but it'd probably be like chewing on a day old bagel -- not interesting or pleasurable at all.
Anyway, I've been thinking about the point that I wanted to make in this thread.
For most people it took years to put on 10s, 100+ lbs from consistent overeating; and many here took months or a much shorter time to drop 30, 70 lbs. So, why worry and miss out and "mourn" the lack of a couple all out treat days a month? Where's the confidence in your self control?
The bit about overweight people not feeling full was from the study/documentary, not my opinion. I'd have to dig it up again (it may have been the BBC Why Thin People Are Not Fat). The not feeling full for hours is my personal experience. It sounds like your personal experience is different, I know you probably already fled from this thread, but just understand that there are plenty of us that eat to bursting and still eat afterwards. And still enjoy eating afterwards, even if we are uncomfortable. That's why it's a mental thing, not a physical thing half the time.
And about not gaining weight quickly, I know that's the common trope, but I did put on 40-50 lbs in about 8 months which is how I'm in my current dilemma. I then maintained that gain for 1-2 years before getting serious and trying to lose again. All I did was stop running, but did not change my eating or really worry about my eating. It's like my brain went to a set point of eating. I didn't have any traumatic events happen, and it was quick enough I certainly knew it was happening. But I lacked the motivation to get serious about watching what I ate for another couple years. All in my head, not limited by how much ice cream my stomach can store at any one given time.
Now that group is what I'd call "special snowflakes". If we like to be argumentative, instead of speaking from experience, we can dig up plenty of extreme examples, like eating "gallons" of ice cream as some sort of everyday activity of a typical overweight person. Seriously, do you think the OP and those like her refer to this kind of eating that they said they mourn? That's a big chasm between eating like that and mfp style eating!
I agree with you that there's a big mental component. That's why I also advocate addressing it psychologically, resolving any hang up and moving on. Many on here sound like foods have a death grip on them.
I didn't say it was every day. I don't suppose to know the eating habits of every single overweight person. Just that those of us that struggle with binging have no problem eating large quantities of food. I ate 3900 calories JUST THIS LAST SATURDAY. I logged every bite of it. I overruled the voice in the back of my head that said "if you eat like this it will slow down your weight loss". So when I wasn't logging and didn't care? I'm sure it was even more on the days that I binged. I'm sure 3500 calories was a typical Saturday for me, maybe 4500 on a day I ate a lot.
When you call yourself a binger and a snacker...I have to say I don't believe you. The fact that you can't comprehend eating a fast food meal and then a gallon of ice cream as normal behavior, as not causing discomfort that a person couldn't overcome, as not giving that person some sense of joy and satisfaction causing them to repeat the behavior... I don't personally practice the habits of an anorexic. But that doesn't mean I doubt their struggles or question them when they are honest about how little they ate. You seem to be popping on here questioning the reverse.
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Thanks, Jaga1
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We'll never comprehend another person's take on foods since it's all very subjective. I'm not questioning anybody's behaviors but I do wonder what constitutes typical, reasonable behaviors which is sort of a required starting point for discussion. Even you never ate 2 gallons of ice cream that someone was talking about.blues4miles wrote: »
When you call yourself a binger and a snacker...I have to say I don't believe you. The fact that you can't comprehend eating a fast food meal and then a gallon of ice cream as normal behavior, as not causing discomfort that a person couldn't overcome, as not giving that person some sense of joy and satisfaction causing them to repeat the behavior... I don't personally practice the habits of an anorexic. But that doesn't mean I doubt their struggles or question them when they are honest about how little they ate. You seem to be popping on here questioning the reverse.
In fact I did acknowledge that everyone's eating is different. See my reply to Rankinsect.
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Have you "mourned" overeating and completely moved past the desire to eat with no control? (I'm not talking about a yearly special holiday indulgence or occasionally saving up calories for a big weekend indulgence. I'm talking About the desire to just eat too much with no planning or control)
I rarely ate with no control to begin with. However, I do miss spontaneity when I'm "on" the diet.
But I didn't approach this as a major lifestyle change or a forever thing. When I started the diet, I stuck with it for 16 weeks. And then I went off for a month. And then I went back on for another 16 weeks. And since then I've sort of been on for 2 or 3 weeks, and off for a week, and on again for 2 or 3 weeks, and off for a week, etc.
Interestingly, after the first 16 weeks, when I went off the diet for a month while travelling, I had a plan to eat large quantities of everything!
But I couldn't!! I managed one bag of potato chips and found it so salty I couldn't eat another. I ordered a large plate of poutine ... and only managed to get about half of it down. I did eat donuts, but about half the amount I've eaten in the past. And I found myself ordering salads and steamed veggies and things with my meals.
Last weekend I was off the diet because we were travelling over the long weekend, and I figured I might stay off the diet this week too ... but both Tuesday and Wednesday I ate within my calorie limit. I thought about eating more but just wasn't that hungry.
I mentioned that I missed the spontaneity, and I do, but one other thing I've discovered is that being on the diet and eating my new usual collection and pattern of food reduces stress. I'm very busy with work and university etc., and eating certain foods at certain times is somehow comforting. I don't have to think about what's for lunch or anything ... food and eating just becomes background noise and I can focus on other more important things.
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I have to say yes. Not always but sometimes it can even depress me. But I realize it's more of an emotional or boredom thing not an I need food thing.1
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Thank you for making this post. I absolutely cannot stand how people on this site sometimes tend to pretend like they don't like to overeat and have those days they can look forward too. I hate the forums that say only eat to maintenance and blah blah. I totally understand you here. I have been logging for 7 months and have lost 54 lbs with about 13 to go, but I still get frustrated that I can't be normal, one of the gang, I cannot just on the drop of a hat meet someone for dinner unless it's a chain restaurant or it'll mess up my diary that I'm ocd about. I miss eating care free all the time but I do like shopping for new clothes and being more fit to care for my three year old. I am still mourning my old life and self, but the new me is growing on me. However the new me still Iikes Mexican nights out and sweets and so once a week I eat those. And it hasn't hindered my loss any.4
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I totally get it. I'm basically on maintenance though losing a few pounds is my goal. Most days I feel I'm fighting weight gain. I'm paranoid about missing any workout for fear of gaining back weight.
I pretty much have dieted my whole life - I have always been conscious of food and calories and body image. My teen years were pretty messed up, but that's a long story. I'm just thankful I survived without an eating disorder - I'd say I was pretty close though.
The only time I ate without abandon or more importantly any guilt attached was during pregnancy and nursing. Pregnancy I was supposed to gain weight and nursing I was lucky enough to be unable to gain weight. In fact I just kept losing while eating as much as I wanted whenever I wanted.
Anyway that's all to say I feel ya! I'm a shorty too - 5ft tall.0 -
I appreciate and am intrigued by all the responses.
When I asked about mourning what I mostly meant is the final step of grief which is acceptance. I still haven't accepted that I can't overeat every day. Sure, I can fit in treats and some times overeat. But I can't go all out crazy
(I could easily eat 1000 calories over my intended budget in a day).
The math is the math. At a 250 calorie deficit I'm already as low as 1200 (more because I exercise) for LESS than half a lb loss per week. So there just isn't enough wiggle room, mathematically, to allow me to go crazy a few times a week. I don't know why someone keeps trying to compare his life to mine when he clearly has different stats and doesn't know what it means to be my height and close to goal. Someone who doesn't know what it's like to lose almost all of the weight very slowly--over the course of years, not months.
Anyway thank you all for your perspectives. I hope to one day fully accept that overeating on a regular basis is just not part of my life. I love the comment about being the adult!
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blues4miles wrote: »endlessfall16 wrote: »rankinsect,
Eating "gallons" of ice cream is enjoyment? I'm feeling stomach ache and tooth pain just imagining it.
For me, 2 pints in one seating while leaving room for other goodies are good. I was going for something that's far more reasonable and realistic. But sure I got your point that everyone's freaky eating is different. Is it even possible for a stomach to physically house 2 gallons?
I have a theory there are two kinds of overweight people...snackers and bingers. If you are a snacker, of course you're never going to understand what binging is like.
One of those British shows on fat people talked about a study they did on overweight folks. Basically, a LOT of the overweight people don't ever feel full...but they also don't feel hungry. It's sort of like someone who's done crystal meth. Your body can't re-create that endorphin release that the drug gives you in a natural way, ever. So you are always chasing the high from the drug. Obviously I don't know if binging CAUSES this problem or if these folks had this issue to begin with, but this is definitely me. After binging I often don't feel full for HOURS. So I can pretty much eat and eat and eat without the feeling of discomfort or the feeling that I should stop. Sometimes, hours later, I will regret it. But it's so far from the eating experience that my subconscious brain doesn't connect the two.
I know I can eat a gallon of ice cream AFTER a large fast food meal, so I'm sure I can consume two gallons easy. Remember your stomach isn't the only place food sits. There are pathways to your stomach and out of your stomach. And you tend to eat ice cream more slowly than you would drink water, so it has plenty of time to move around.
This is exactly how I felt when binging. I could (and have) eaten steadily for hours and still felt . . . not hungry exactly but like I wasn't full. The cravings were so intense I seriously thought I would never get rid of them. I couldn't eat or concentrate on anything else but satisfying the cravings. I couldn't cram the food in fast enough and would have cravings while I was stuffing myself with whatever I craved just two minutes ago. My brain would yell, "STOP!!" but I couldn't. Most of the time I would have to look at the dirty dishes to identify what I ate because I wouldn't remember anything except the beginning and sometimes the end of the binge.
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endlessfall16 wrote: »blues4miles wrote: »endlessfall16 wrote: »blues4miles,
I'm both a snacker and a binger. My house is awash with chips, nuts, m&m, beef jerky, various drinks and beer types, etc. I'm a curious person. I used to eat snacks all day but since beginning of this year I kinda do much less.
And I'm addicted to buffets, almost any kinds. People going with me got freaked out by the amount of foods I eat.
I'm not sure about " a LOT of the overweight people don't ever feel full." Every single (overweight) person going out to eat with me eventually told me they were very full and couldn't eat another bite since I asked them as I tended to take much longer to finish, unless they lied and acted very well.
I could get uncomfortably full immediately after a restaurant visit and then comfortably full and cravings-free for the next 10, 12 hours. When I'm full I can eat more but it'd probably be like chewing on a day old bagel -- not interesting or pleasurable at all.
Anyway, I've been thinking about the point that I wanted to make in this thread.
For most people it took years to put on 10s, 100+ lbs from consistent overeating; and many here took months or a much shorter time to drop 30, 70 lbs. So, why worry and miss out and "mourn" the lack of a couple all out treat days a month? Where's the confidence in your self control?
The bit about overweight people not feeling full was from the study/documentary, not my opinion. I'd have to dig it up again (it may have been the BBC Why Thin People Are Not Fat). The not feeling full for hours is my personal experience. It sounds like your personal experience is different, I know you probably already fled from this thread, but just understand that there are plenty of us that eat to bursting and still eat afterwards. And still enjoy eating afterwards, even if we are uncomfortable. That's why it's a mental thing, not a physical thing half the time.
And about not gaining weight quickly, I know that's the common trope, but I did put on 40-50 lbs in about 8 months which is how I'm in my current dilemma. I then maintained that gain for 1-2 years before getting serious and trying to lose again. All I did was stop running, but did not change my eating or really worry about my eating. It's like my brain went to a set point of eating. I didn't have any traumatic events happen, and it was quick enough I certainly knew it was happening. But I lacked the motivation to get serious about watching what I ate for another couple years. All in my head, not limited by how much ice cream my stomach can store at any one given time.
Now that group is what I'd call "special snowflakes". If we like to be argumentative, instead of speaking from experience, we can dig up plenty of extreme examples, like eating "gallons" of ice cream as some sort of everyday activity of a typical overweight person. Seriously, do you think the OP and those like her refer to this kind of eating that they said they mourn? That's a big chasm between eating like that and mfp style eating!
I agree with you that there's a big mental component. That's why I also advocate addressing it psychologically, resolving any hang up and moving on. Many on here sound like foods have a death grip on them.
They do. Well . . . did. Overeating, cravings and binging were a big part of my personality and something I (and I bet I'm not the only one) worked really hard to overcome. We're mourning a loss of sense of self, even if it's not a piece of ourselves we care to retain. It represents a sort of comfort. If I had a bad day, was mad at my s/o, etc. I always knew I could comfort myself with food. Now I have to find another way and become another person (hopefully better but still different.) Humans mourn change; as a species that's what we do.2 -
jaga,
I'm taller than you, 5'7, probably stronger and healthier than an average person of that size because I play sport. Thus, a healthier appetite also. That means I'll likely proportionally eat much more than you do and gain more weight to be worried about. As of today I'm 8.9 lbs from my GW (155).
Someone questioned whether I was a binge eater. Last week I gained 5 lbs+ in just 3 days and it wasn't mostly water. I know the sodium effect on my body and the amount of water I consume.
You are taking things too personally while it's just forum chatting and most of the time it's also to talk with other people. Like I said I share what is possible with some discipline, activities, mindset.
Look at this thread it's littered with people saying they're depressed, paranoid with eating, weight control. It sounds like they've exchanged one problem (overweight) for another.
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Have you "mourned" overeating and completely moved past the desire to eat with no control? (I'm not talking about a yearly special holiday indulgence or occasionally saving up calories for a big weekend indulgence. I'm talking About the desire to just eat too much with no planning or control)
I rarely ate with no control to begin with. However, I do miss spontaneity when I'm "on" the diet.
But I didn't approach this as a major lifestyle change or a forever thing. When I started the diet, I stuck with it for 16 weeks. And then I went off for a month. And then I went back on for another 16 weeks. And since then I've sort of been on for 2 or 3 weeks, and off for a week, and on again for 2 or 3 weeks, and off for a week, etc.
Interestingly, after the first 16 weeks, when I went off the diet for a month while travelling, I had a plan to eat large quantities of everything! But I couldn't!! I managed one bag of potato chips and found it so salty I couldn't eat another. I ordered a large plate of poutine ... and only managed to get about half of it down. I did eat donuts, but about half the amount I've eaten in the past. And I found myself ordering salads and steamed veggies and things with my meals.
Last weekend I was off the diet because we were travelling over the long weekend, and I figured I might stay off the diet this week too ... but both Tuesday and Wednesday I ate within my calorie limit. I thought about eating more but just wasn't that hungry.
I mentioned that I missed the spontaneity, and I do, but one other thing I've discovered is that being on the diet and eating my new usual collection and pattern of food reduces stress. I'm very busy with work and university etc., and eating certain foods at certain times is somehow comforting. I don't have to think about what's for lunch or anything ... food and eating just becomes background noise and I can focus on other more important things.
I've heard of poutine before but I didn't know what is was, so when you mentioned it in your post I Googled it. Poutine sounds heavenly! Where can I find cheese curds?0 -
Nope. I've not ever been a big food person. However, I am a BIG wine person and yeah, I mourn the fact that I have needed to cut way, way back. But, by the grace of God, I'm still alive to tell about it
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blues4miles wrote: »endlessfall16 wrote: »rankinsect,
Eating "gallons" of ice cream is enjoyment? I'm feeling stomach ache and tooth pain just imagining it.
For me, 2 pints in one seating while leaving room for other goodies are good. I was going for something that's far more reasonable and realistic. But sure I got your point that everyone's freaky eating is different. Is it even possible for a stomach to physically house 2 gallons?
I have a theory there are two kinds of overweight people...snackers and bingers. If you are a snacker, of course you're never going to understand what binging is like.
If we're limited to those two options, then I'm a snacker because I've never binged.
But my actual story ...
I was slender most of my life. I exercised a lot and food was fuel.
Then about 10 years ago, my life circumstances changed and I couldn't exercise as much as I wanted. I reduced the amount I ate, of course, but not enough and I very gradually put on weight. Not because of binging or excessive snacking ... I just ate a little bit more than I was burning. I did the calculations some time ago, and it worked out to less than 100 calories a day above maintenance . That's a slightly larger dinner or lunch. 13 cashews too many during an afternoon snack. A slice of bread. A banana. A large apple.
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endlessfall16 wrote: »jaga,
I'm taller than you, 5'7, probably stronger and healthier than an average person of that size because I play sport. Thus, a healthier appetite also. That means I'll likely proportionally eat much more than you do and gain more weight to be worried about. As of today I'm 8.9 lbs from my GW (155).
Someone questioned whether I was a binge eater. Last week I gained 5 lbs+ in just 3 days and it wasn't mostly water. I know the sodium effect on my body and the amount of water I consume.
You are taking things too personally while it's just forum chatting and most of the time it's also to talk with other people. Like I said I share what is possible with some discipline, activities, mindset.
Look at this thread it's littered with people saying they're depressed, paranoid with eating, weight control. It sounds like they've exchanged one problem (overweight) for another.
I'm taking things personally? I'm confused. It appeared you were telling me, personally, what I should do and think. You keep bagering here. That's not productive. If you think I should simply stop caring so much about the calories and let loose, that's not productive because as I've explained im stuck in maintence mode precisely by overeating too often. The answer is simple. I need to not overeat as often if I want to lose those last pounds. I know this as a fact but it's still hard emotionally to accept it. My body doesn't need as many calories as my taller friends, but my eyes still want to eat it all. I hope to move past the emotional side and be able to truly enjoy the occasional overeating adventure when it is absolutely worth it. Not because it's Tuesday and its there.3 -
positivepowers wrote: »Have you "mourned" overeating and completely moved past the desire to eat with no control? (I'm not talking about a yearly special holiday indulgence or occasionally saving up calories for a big weekend indulgence. I'm talking About the desire to just eat too much with no planning or control)
I rarely ate with no control to begin with. However, I do miss spontaneity when I'm "on" the diet.
But I didn't approach this as a major lifestyle change or a forever thing. When I started the diet, I stuck with it for 16 weeks. And then I went off for a month. And then I went back on for another 16 weeks. And since then I've sort of been on for 2 or 3 weeks, and off for a week, and on again for 2 or 3 weeks, and off for a week, etc.
Interestingly, after the first 16 weeks, when I went off the diet for a month while travelling, I had a plan to eat large quantities of everything! But I couldn't!! I managed one bag of potato chips and found it so salty I couldn't eat another. I ordered a large plate of poutine ... and only managed to get about half of it down. I did eat donuts, but about half the amount I've eaten in the past. And I found myself ordering salads and steamed veggies and things with my meals.
Last weekend I was off the diet because we were travelling over the long weekend, and I figured I might stay off the diet this week too ... but both Tuesday and Wednesday I ate within my calorie limit. I thought about eating more but just wasn't that hungry.
I mentioned that I missed the spontaneity, and I do, but one other thing I've discovered is that being on the diet and eating my new usual collection and pattern of food reduces stress. I'm very busy with work and university etc., and eating certain foods at certain times is somehow comforting. I don't have to think about what's for lunch or anything ... food and eating just becomes background noise and I can focus on other more important things.
I've heard of poutine before but I didn't know what is was, so when you mentioned it in your post I Googled it. Poutine sounds heavenly! Where can I find cheese curds?
Cheese curds can sometimes be found in the dairy section near the cottage cheese, ricotta, and cream cheese. They'll be in a tub.
I've never actually made poutine at home, and when I lived in Canada, I only ate it on occasion in restaurants. It's one of those dishes that makes people gain weight just by looking at it.
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endlessfall16 wrote: »
Look at this thread it's littered with people saying they're depressed, paranoid with eating, weight control. It sounds like they've exchanged one problem (overweight) for another.
Speaking for myself? Yep. But being overweight and the accompanying issues wasn't the only problem - there was the shame, and the guilt about stuffing my face at times. I just don't remember it very well as it's been over 3 years for me, BUT it's the feeling of being disgusted by eating so much food that pushed me to lose the weight, so it was very real.
I just think that it's completely unrealistic to expect to lose weight easily and maintain it without any effort - and that effort can take a toll on you too. There's a reason so many people gain the weight back. Most of us are not here because we just ate 100 extra calories a day. And most of us had our reasons to eat as much as we did... that doesn't necessarily go away when the weight does.
The bottom line is that it's not just rainbow and puppies and of course losing weight is going to be hard too. People just have to pick their hard. It just doesn't sound crazy to me that someone would be worried about gaining the weight back and thus feel guilty if they end up eating a bit too much some days (I mean, if I add up all the calories from the treats I've eaten the last few months, I'd be way under my goal without them!).3 -
But those comments don't lead me toSabine_Stroehm wrote: »
Not at all what I got from his comments.
Also, @endlessfall16, we get it: you can eat whatever you want and never have any trouble with your weight management, you special snowflake. Clearly this thread offers you nothing, unless what you want is to continually disagree with people who are telling you that their experience is very different than yours.
I may be misreading him then. So far he's outside said, "So, why worry and miss out and "mourn" the lack of a couple all out treat days a month? Where's the confidence in your self control?," has called the OP dramatic for their sense of loss -- all the while talking about how much he can eat and how satisfied he is while still losing weight.
This would be fine, absent the context that he's doing it in response to a thread discussing if people struggle with how they cannot eat as much as they used to, in the way they used to. It strikes me as obtusely missing the point at best, and deliberately mean-spirited at worst.
They lead me to context: he's male, he's bigger, he CAN eat more, and he's not considering it "mourning" to do without. My own response to this thread was to say that I didn't consider it "mourning" but rather being an adult. And being an adult isn't always fun.we get it: you can eat whatever you want and never have any trouble with your weight management, you special snowflake. Clearly this thread offers you nothing, unless what you want is to continually disagree with people who are telling you that their experience is very different than yours.
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Sabine_Stroehm wrote: »
But those comments don't lead me toSabine_Stroehm wrote: »
Not at all what I got from his comments.
Also, @endlessfall16, we get it: you can eat whatever you want and never have any trouble with your weight management, you special snowflake. Clearly this thread offers you nothing, unless what you want is to continually disagree with people who are telling you that their experience is very different than yours.
I may be misreading him then. So far he's outside said, "So, why worry and miss out and "mourn" the lack of a couple all out treat days a month? Where's the confidence in your self control?," has called the OP dramatic for their sense of loss -- all the while talking about how much he can eat and how satisfied he is while still losing weight.
This would be fine, absent the context that he's doing it in response to a thread discussing if people struggle with how they cannot eat as much as they used to, in the way they used to. It strikes me as obtusely missing the point at best, and deliberately mean-spirited at worst.
They lead me to context: he's male, he's bigger, he CAN eat more, and he's not considering it "mourning" to do without. My own response to this thread was to say that I didn't consider it "mourning" but rather being an adult. And being an adult isn't always fun.we get it: you can eat whatever you want and never have any trouble with your weight management, you special snowflake. Clearly this thread offers you nothing, unless what you want is to continually disagree with people who are telling you that their experience is very different than yours.
I 100% agree with you on the later -- being an adult sucks. I said as much in my own response; that it's less a mourning for me and more a nostalgia. But as an adult, I'm also allowed to express that this adulthood thing is *kitten* sometimes and I'm not happy about it.
I'm willing to concede that my "special snowflake" remark was off the mark. It was an emotional response to watching someone over and over again not understand the topic he's expounding in great detail on. Furthermore, where he says that people traded being overweight for being anxious -- a lot of us used to be both and only one of those goes away when you start counting calories.
So, I will apologize; I was being rude. But I stand behind the point that @endlessfall16 has also been condescending to people on the thread, apparently because he doesn't like the use of the word "mourn" to describe the mental aspect of how people are dealing with their relationship to food and how drastic a change to one's life it can be to change how you eat.1 -
Sabine_Stroehm wrote: »
But those comments don't lead me toSabine_Stroehm wrote: »
Not at all what I got from his comments.
Also, @endlessfall16, we get it: you can eat whatever you want and never have any trouble with your weight management, you special snowflake. Clearly this thread offers you nothing, unless what you want is to continually disagree with people who are telling you that their experience is very different than yours.
I may be misreading him then. So far he's outside said, "So, why worry and miss out and "mourn" the lack of a couple all out treat days a month? Where's the confidence in your self control?," has called the OP dramatic for their sense of loss -- all the while talking about how much he can eat and how satisfied he is while still losing weight.
This would be fine, absent the context that he's doing it in response to a thread discussing if people struggle with how they cannot eat as much as they used to, in the way they used to. It strikes me as obtusely missing the point at best, and deliberately mean-spirited at worst.
They lead me to context: he's male, he's bigger, he CAN eat more, and he's not considering it "mourning" to do without. My own response to this thread was to say that I didn't consider it "mourning" but rather being an adult. And being an adult isn't always fun.we get it: you can eat whatever you want and never have any trouble with your weight management, you special snowflake. Clearly this thread offers you nothing, unless what you want is to continually disagree with people who are telling you that their experience is very different than yours.
I 100% agree with you on the later -- being an adult sucks. I said as much in my own response; that it's less a mourning for me and more a nostalgia. But as an adult, I'm also allowed to express that this adulthood thing is *kitten* sometimes and I'm not happy about it.
I'm willing to concede that my "special snowflake" remark was off the mark. It was an emotional response to watching someone over and over again not understand the topic he's expounding in great detail on. Furthermore, where he says that people traded being overweight for being anxious -- a lot of us used to be both and only one of those goes away when you start counting calories.
So, I will apologize; I was being rude. But I stand behind the point that @endlessfall16 has also been condescending to people on the thread, apparently because he doesn't like the use of the word "mourn" to describe the mental aspect of how people are dealing with their relationship to food and how drastic a change to one's life it can be to change how you eat.
Cheers. The special snowflake comment was what got my attention.
Onward with adulting!1 -
Sabine_Stroehm wrote: »Sabine_Stroehm wrote: »
But those comments don't lead me toSabine_Stroehm wrote: »
Not at all what I got from his comments.
Also, @endlessfall16, we get it: you can eat whatever you want and never have any trouble with your weight management, you special snowflake. Clearly this thread offers you nothing, unless what you want is to continually disagree with people who are telling you that their experience is very different than yours.
I may be misreading him then. So far he's outside said, "So, why worry and miss out and "mourn" the lack of a couple all out treat days a month? Where's the confidence in your self control?," has called the OP dramatic for their sense of loss -- all the while talking about how much he can eat and how satisfied he is while still losing weight.
This would be fine, absent the context that he's doing it in response to a thread discussing if people struggle with how they cannot eat as much as they used to, in the way they used to. It strikes me as obtusely missing the point at best, and deliberately mean-spirited at worst.
They lead me to context: he's male, he's bigger, he CAN eat more, and he's not considering it "mourning" to do without. My own response to this thread was to say that I didn't consider it "mourning" but rather being an adult. And being an adult isn't always fun.we get it: you can eat whatever you want and never have any trouble with your weight management, you special snowflake. Clearly this thread offers you nothing, unless what you want is to continually disagree with people who are telling you that their experience is very different than yours.
I 100% agree with you on the later -- being an adult sucks. I said as much in my own response; that it's less a mourning for me and more a nostalgia. But as an adult, I'm also allowed to express that this adulthood thing is *kitten* sometimes and I'm not happy about it.
I'm willing to concede that my "special snowflake" remark was off the mark. It was an emotional response to watching someone over and over again not understand the topic he's expounding in great detail on. Furthermore, where he says that people traded being overweight for being anxious -- a lot of us used to be both and only one of those goes away when you start counting calories.
So, I will apologize; I was being rude. But I stand behind the point that @endlessfall16 has also been condescending to people on the thread, apparently because he doesn't like the use of the word "mourn" to describe the mental aspect of how people are dealing with their relationship to food and how drastic a change to one's life it can be to change how you eat.
Cheers. The special snowflake comment was what got my attention.
Onward with adulting!
Can I postpone the adulting, like, fifteen more minutes while I finish my coffee? Then I will adult the *kitten* out of my day-job here. 3 -
No not really bc thats how I got here in the first place.0
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I mourn ice cream. It is addictive so I really have to watch the intake so I just stay away during the weigh loss period. I do crave something sweet in general and fruits don't cut it.0
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