Boss's Wedding

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2

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  • Rage_Phish
    Rage_Phish Posts: 1,508 Member
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    saramickeydee wrote: »
    The request itself is tacky and inappropriate.

    no its not. not sure i have ever been to a wedding that didnt have a honeymoon fund

  • saramickeydee
    saramickeydee Posts: 115 Member
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    HealthierRayne wrote: »
    moyer566 wrote: »
    I don't find it tacky. often people are together for a while before they get married now.

    I completely agree with this, my sister is getting married this fall - her house is full, they've been living together for a while and have everything they could possible need. Money makes sense, a registry not so much.

    Likewise my boyfriend and I have been together 8 years and own a house - I too would rather money than gifts if we got married, the last thing we need is more stuff cluttering up the house.

    I agree that less than $100 is reasonable - I figure always try to give the amount that they spent on food for me to attend (or what you think is close)

    Then, technically you don't really need anything to set up your household. Some might argue that a gift is completely unnecessary in that case.
  • Rage_Phish
    Rage_Phish Posts: 1,508 Member
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    jessica22222 wrote: »
    Yuck. I've had the cash gifts request on invitations. Sooo tacky. Things like that need to be spread around by word of mouth and when people ask. Makes me want to bring a toaster.

    A gift is a gift and anyone should be happy at any gesture. Telling people what to give you is just tacky. I agree with a book by Emily Post.

    so you hate all registry's then?
  • Rage_Phish
    Rage_Phish Posts: 1,508 Member
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    TracyeS4 wrote: »
    EmmieBaby wrote: »
    I've always been told that you give money equal to the value of the plate you are served at the wedding (usually between $60-100 per plate)

    You must go to some fancy weddings. I would estimate the plates at $15 - $20 for the weddings that I have been to.

    thats like a dinner at applebees
  • denversillygoose
    denversillygoose Posts: 708 Member
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    I should have just titled this "Giving Money to My Boss is Weird".

    I have my own opinions about weddings and gifts and all that nonsense, but it doesn't really matter. When it's my wedding, I'll do it my way. This is their way and I'll give them something appropriate.
  • Jthanmyfitnesspal
    Jthanmyfitnesspal Posts: 3,521 Member
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    This is up to family custom/culture. Some groups give and expect only cash gifts at weddings. I have no problem giving approx the cost of the party, but any gift should be equally appreciated. No one wants to feel they're putting a burden on a guest, let alone an employee. Put a few bucks in and have a blast at the party!
  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,793 Member
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    I agree it's tacky.
  • saramickeydee
    saramickeydee Posts: 115 Member
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    Jthanmyfitnesspal wrote: »
    This is up to family custom/culture. Some groups give and expect only cash gifts at weddings. I have no problem giving approx the cost of the party, but any gift should be equally appreciated. No one wants to feel they're putting a burden on a guest, let alone an employee. Put a few bucks in and have a blast at the party!

    Yeah, I think I agree with this.
  • jenovatrix
    jenovatrix Posts: 219 Member
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    saramickeydee wrote: »

    Because asking for a gift is inappropriate. Because expecting a gift is tacky. Gifts are gifts, not expected payment for attending your event. If you want to share your event with someone you do it without expectation of getting something.

    You nailed it.
  • Angelfire365
    Angelfire365 Posts: 803 Member
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    jessica22222 wrote: »
    Yuck. I've had the cash gifts request on invitations. Sooo tacky. Things like that need to be spread around by word of mouth and when people ask. Makes me want to bring a toaster.

    A gift is a gift and anyone should be happy at any gesture. Telling people what to give you is just tacky. I agree with a book by Emily Post.

    Lol. When my husband and I were planning our wedding, we had a house full of second-hand and cheap stuff; you know, the just-starting-out kind. When the subject of gifts came up, some of my more opinionated relatives insisted I should put 'cash only' in the invites, while I insisted it was tacky. It got a bit heated; my now-husband's aunt got quite upset and yelled, "YOU'RE JUST GOING TO WIND UP WITH A TOASTER!!!"

    At which point I yelled back "HAVE YOU SEEN MY KITCHEN? I NEED A TOASTER!!"

    No joke, she got us a toaster. It was a really nice one. :)
  • MsAmandaNJ
    MsAmandaNJ Posts: 1,248 Member
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    I agree, tacky. A recent family wedding requested canned goods if guests were going to give a gift...they donated to a local shelter. I thought that was a wonderful idea. I'd give them something homemade like cookies.
  • Shana67
    Shana67 Posts: 680 Member
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    Included with the wedding invitations should be a list of places where the couple is registered, as well as a link to their honeymoon/house fund, if they have one. Guests can choose where to spend their money (as well as not spending it on those suggestions). Outright asking for cash is crass, and it is rude.

    And.... in regards to the "per plate" for a wedding. $15? Truly? That's like a plate of food at Panda Express :)
  • jessica22222
    jessica22222 Posts: 375 Member
    edited April 2016
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    Rage_Phish wrote: »
    jessica22222 wrote: »
    Yuck. I've had the cash gifts request on invitations. Sooo tacky. Things like that need to be spread around by word of mouth and when people ask. Makes me want to bring a toaster.

    A gift is a gift and anyone should be happy at any gesture. Telling people what to give you is just tacky. I agree with a book by Emily Post.

    so you hate all registry's then?

    Yes I do. It's OK to suggest when asked, but to state it on an invitation is incredibly tacky. You shouldn't expect gifts on and stating your preference for gifts on an invitation is extremely tacky. I'm getting married in a couple months and did not add anything like that. I'm expecting my friends and family for a celebration and if they want to bring something that's their call. I'm not getting married for gifts, that's not the point of the day. Most people bring cash anyway so why state it.
  • dbanks80
    dbanks80 Posts: 3,685 Member
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    saramickeydee wrote: »
    The request itself is tacky and inappropriate.


    Totally agree. Very tacky!
  • dbanks80
    dbanks80 Posts: 3,685 Member
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    Rage_Phish wrote: »
    saramickeydee wrote: »
    The request itself is tacky and inappropriate.

    no its not. not sure i have ever been to a wedding that didnt have a honeymoon fund

    I have heard of wishing well weddings but not someone outright saying "Give me money for my honeymoon"

    My son's friend had a graduation party and the mom sends out invitations that said please bring a gift. I had every intention of attending and bringing a gift but after the invitation I didn't go because I felt like the person didn't care about my attendance they just wanted the gift.
  • StrongAndHealthyMommy
    StrongAndHealthyMommy Posts: 1,255 Member
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    I don't find it tacky at all. If my budget is low and I feel bad giving my boss $25 for honeymoon. I would get a nice small present. I'm sure your boss will be happy with it. Sometimes something as simple as a beautiful picture frame (maybe engraved with their initials and wedding date) for the wedding picture means more than anything
  • reddevil614
    reddevil614 Posts: 16 Member
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    I don't know if it's cause I am 2nd generation italian, or cause we live in ny/nj area, but no one brings gifts to weddings, you bring a card with cash or a check in it...and u were supposed to cover ur plate or plates, but i have heard recently that that's not necessary anymore, u just give what u could afford...and has anyone ever seen goodfellas?? that is how it's usually done, but maybe that's just in my area.....registry info is sent with the shower invitation, i've never seen with the actual wedding invite, and if u can find a venue in this area that is under $50 per person (I really want to say $80), without having to set up or clean up, then let me know, I want to say u can't, but I could be wrong, I mean there's a first time for everything, amiright?? and btw, no one's stealing envelopes here karen!!
  • MsAmandaNJ
    MsAmandaNJ Posts: 1,248 Member
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    reddevil614 wrote: »
    I don't know if it's cause I am 2nd generation italian, or cause we live in ny/nj area, but no one brings gifts to weddings, you bring a card with cash or a check in it...and u were supposed to cover ur plate or plates, but i have heard recently that that's not necessary anymore, u just give what u could afford...and has anyone ever seen goodfellas?? that is how it's usually done, but maybe that's just in my area.....registry info is sent with the shower invitation, i've never seen with the actual wedding invite, and if u can find a venue in this area that is under $50 per person (I really want to say $80), without having to set up or clean up, then let me know, I want to say u can't, but I could be wrong, I mean there's a first time for everything, amiright?? and btw, no one's stealing envelopes here karen!!

    I thought that's just the rule, didn't think it could be regional...just how I was raised...in NJ.
  • Sinistrous
    Sinistrous Posts: 5,589 Member
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    Get him just what he wanted. Get a monopoly set, just give him the money. Or... better yet, find all the cards that you can with fake printed money and write "this is all the money I could afford" with a little note attached reminding him if you get a nice Christmas bonus, maybe Santa will come down their chimney this year.
  • paperpudding
    paperpudding Posts: 8,998 Member
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    Shana67 wrote: »
    Included with the wedding invitations should be a list of places where the couple is registered, as well as a link to their honeymoon/house fund, if they have one. Guests can choose where to spend their money (as well as not spending it on those suggestions). Outright asking for cash is crass, and it is rude.

    And.... in regards to the "per plate" for a wedding. $15? Truly? That's like a plate of food at Panda Express :)[/quotor subtly asking for money is ok but outright doing so is not??
    Nope - I am a fan of say what you mean, not hinting is ok but just saying something is not.

    Many weddings here suggest cash in Lieu of gifts - it is a suggestion, not a demand. Some people still bring gifts and that is still appreciated. And a gift or money is not compulsory - but most guests would bring one.

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