Magnificent Mamas (Closed Group)

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  • dragonfly74
    dragonfly74 Posts: 1,382 Member
    My oldest go into advanced studies! I am so proud, I worry too though that I may push too hard and he'll hate school. I actually kind of feel like a mean mommy because since I work for a book distributor I brought home workbooks for both of the boys so they can keep busy over the summer by doing homework. Naturally I also brought them each 4 reading books so my oldest can read to his brother everyday. Am I horrible for pushing them to learn all they can and perfect what they know whether school is in or not?

    I think that is wonderful Sheri! I love it when my oldest reads to her siblings. I think it makes her feel special being the only child that can read and in the mean time my others are learning from her. She loves to play school with them too. I never stress the fact that they are "learning" because to me it is important for them to have some "off" time just like an adult. Summer vacation is very important to us. I never push them to do much studying over the summer, however, reading is definitely a good thing.
  • carina73
    carina73 Posts: 270 Member
    Things have been really bad for me for just over a week. It's a private issue and I know I really shouldn't talk about it to anyone other than my DH but it's killing me. I'm a social person and I think and deal as I talk, and this week has been really hard. I don't know what to think, how to feel. I'm lost and feel like I'm fake, b/c no one IRL knows what's going on, so our conversations go on normally. NO ONE has noticed anything wrong with me even though my FB status said I was sad. I had a few inquiries, which I privately msg'd them saying I was dealing with some stuff, but NO ONE has followed up. I feel so alone.

    I'm really in a bad place. I've had to stop TTC. RIGHT when I was due to ovulate. I'm so angry, yet numb.

    So, please know that I am thinking of all of you, but just can't deal right now. I hope you all understand.

    @ Annabelle - OH, I missed your return. Congrats on Esca arrival. *hugs* did I miss a pic?
    @ everyone - your baby bumps have changed so much in a week! I'm so happy for you. *hugs*
  • dmdaigle17
    dmdaigle17 Posts: 918 Member
    Things have been really bad for me for just over a week. It's a private issue and I know I really shouldn't talk about it to anyone other than my DH but it's killing me. I'm a social person and I think and deal as I talk, and this week has been really hard. I don't know what to think, how to feel. I'm lost and feel like I'm fake, b/c no one IRL knows what's going on, so our conversations go on normally. NO ONE has noticed anything wrong with me even though my FB status said I was sad. I had a few inquiries, which I privately msg'd them saying I was dealing with some stuff, but NO ONE has followed up. I feel so alone.

    I'm really in a bad place. I've had to stop TTC. RIGHT when I was due to ovulate. I'm so angry, yet numb.

    So, please know that I am thinking of all of you, but just can't deal right now. I hope you all understand.

    @ Annabelle - OH, I missed your return. Congrats on Esca arrival. *hugs* did I miss a pic?
    @ everyone - your baby bumps have changed so much in a week! I'm so happy for you. *hugs*

    Thinking of you and hoping you are able to get over this hurdle :flowerforyou: :heart:
  • dragonfly74
    dragonfly74 Posts: 1,382 Member
    Things have been really bad for me for just over a week. It's a private issue and I know I really shouldn't talk about it to anyone other than my DH but it's killing me. I'm a social person and I think and deal as I talk, and this week has been really hard. I don't know what to think, how to feel. I'm lost and feel like I'm fake, b/c no one IRL knows what's going on, so our conversations go on normally. NO ONE has noticed anything wrong with me even though my FB status said I was sad. I had a few inquiries, which I privately msg'd them saying I was dealing with some stuff, but NO ONE has followed up. I feel so alone.

    I'm really in a bad place. I've had to stop TTC. RIGHT when I was due to ovulate. I'm so angry, yet numb.

    So, please know that I am thinking of all of you, but just can't deal right now. I hope you all understand.

    @ Annabelle - OH, I missed your return. Congrats on Esca arrival. *hugs* did I miss a pic?
    @ everyone - your baby bumps have changed so much in a week! I'm so happy for you. *hugs*

    So sorry to hear you are going through a rough time. Wish there was some way I could help you. I will say a prayer for you and please know you are in my thoughts. Hugs :flowerforyou:
  • mwilson1018
    mwilson1018 Posts: 509 Member
    Things have been really bad for me for just over a week. It's a private issue and I know I really shouldn't talk about it to anyone other than my DH but it's killing me. I'm a social person and I think and deal as I talk, and this week has been really hard. I don't know what to think, how to feel. I'm lost and feel like I'm fake, b/c no one IRL knows what's going on, so our conversations go on normally. NO ONE has noticed anything wrong with me even though my FB status said I was sad. I had a few inquiries, which I privately msg'd them saying I was dealing with some stuff, but NO ONE has followed up. I feel so alone.

    I'm really in a bad place. I've had to stop TTC. RIGHT when I was due to ovulate. I'm so angry, yet numb.

    So, please know that I am thinking of all of you, but just can't deal right now. I hope you all understand.

    @ Annabelle - OH, I missed your return. Congrats on Esca arrival. *hugs* did I miss a pic?
    @ everyone - your baby bumps have changed so much in a week! I'm so happy for you. *hugs*

    You know we're here to "talk" whenever you need to! You'll be in my prayers and I know everything will be ok. This too shall pass! Remember....you're never given more than you can handle! :flowerforyou:
  • AnneElise
    AnneElise Posts: 4,206 Member
    Thanks for sharing about your little ones mama :) It makes me look forward to mine!

    Annabelle- Moving can be tough! I am sure with a family there are a lot of adjustments but exciting too as you said. How are your kids liking it?

    Bethe- I can imagine being up at 4:30 every morning isn’t so fun :(

    Mel- Make sure you can get as much rest as you can! I am sure that you need it!

    Sheri- That’s great about encouraging your kids to read! IMO reading at a young age helps so much later in life!

    Carina- HUGS! As I said on the other board, we are here for you if we can help in any way!

    Hi to everyone else. Some of you new mama's havn't posted in a bit, hope things are going well and we miss you!
  • mwilson1018
    mwilson1018 Posts: 509 Member
    I just wanted to post real quick about diaper rash - I know we discussed last week I think and Annabelle's doctor gave me something else to do so I thought I'd share... Her rash started having little bumps on it and her Dr. said that was probably a yeast infection instead of a normal rash, so she said to put some Lotrimin AF (Used for athletes foot, etc) on it! I'd been using Vaseline to help dry it out, and she said to keep putting the Vaseline on top of it if I wanted. Just wanted to share in case any of your LOs get a bit of a yeast infection.
  • hkystar
    hkystar Posts: 1,290 Member
    Sheri - I guess I was a little "stupid" about things. I have never had regular periods. I was on the pill to help make that happen (and to not get pregnant). But in my carelessness I missed my pill 3 days in a row in Aug, so I waited for my period to come so I could restart. Well, it didnt come in Sept, and then it didnt come in Oct. And it wasnt until the end of Oct that I got worried. Well, I didnt ovulate in Sept, but somehow I did in Oct and now here I am. I had no clue how/when I would ovulate and hence didnt really think anything of it. This has happened many times before but I never had to wait more than 2 months for my period to kick back in. But the difference this time around was my weight loss. I had never had this happen at my current weight. Bf has been super supportive and never blamed me for this. We will get married some time in the future here (I am guessing in the next year or so) but that we would have gotten married even if we werent having a baby. =)

    Ronya - I had an alarm too and still failed! =(

    Carina - BIG HUGS!
  • Soon2Bfitmamaof3
    Soon2Bfitmamaof3 Posts: 1,911 Member
    Things have been really bad for me for just over a week. It's a private issue and I know I really shouldn't talk about it to anyone other than my DH but it's killing me. I'm a social person and I think and deal as I talk, and this week has been really hard. I don't know what to think, how to feel. I'm lost and feel like I'm fake, b/c no one IRL knows what's going on, so our conversations go on normally. NO ONE has noticed anything wrong with me even though my FB status said I was sad. I had a few inquiries, which I privately msg'd them saying I was dealing with some stuff, but NO ONE has followed up. I feel so alone.

    I'm really in a bad place. I've had to stop TTC. RIGHT when I was due to ovulate. I'm so angry, yet numb.

    Carina hugs to you, I’m sorry you’re having a difficult time. I’m here if you’d like to talk, I hope you can get through this.
    Sheri - I guess I was a little "stupid" about things. I have never had regular periods. I was on the pill to help make that happen (and to not get pregnant). But in my carelessness I missed my pill 3 days in a row in Aug, so I waited for my period to come so I could restart. Well, it didnt come in Sept, and then it didnt come in Oct. And it wasnt until the end of Oct that I got worried. Well, I didnt ovulate in Sept, but somehow I did in Oct and now here I am. I had no clue how/when I would ovulate and hence didnt really think anything of it. This has happened many times before but I never had to wait more than 2 months for my period to kick back in. But the difference this time around was my weight loss. I had never had this happen at my current weight. Bf has been super supportive and never blamed me for this. We will get married some time in the future here (I am guessing in the next year or so) but that we would have gotten married even if we werent having a baby. =)

    I think that things happen for a reason. You guys will be having your little girl soon, you're together and baby is very much wanted and loved. Thats all that matters :smile: My mom and dad never married nor have many in my family. I'm one of few that did.
  • carina73
    carina73 Posts: 270 Member
    Thanks everyone. I'm sorry to be such a downer, but I need to sort through my feelings and I only do that when I talk about it. otherwise, I don't think about it. I just seem to be on the verge of tears at any given moment. something happens or someone starts a conversation and I forget for the moment, but any lull in the topic and my mind comes back to it. I am just not dealing very well.

    So, here's the thing...

    On June 11, my husband cheated on me. he tried to keep it from me for 4 days, but "he realized how much he _loved_ me and couldn't keep it secret" (roll eyes) but had to have sex with me first, and make me feel bad that I was only thinking of him as a baby making machine, before telling me the next day (June 15), that he cheated.

    here I am, trying to have another baby, and dealing with fertility issues and he does this? and doesn't even think about STD's. he was so SHOCKED when I asked, "is she clean?" it totally didn't even enter his mind. so now we have to wait 2-3 weeks before we can be tested and 6 MONTHS before they can test for HIV!!!! Not only does it put himself and ME at risk, but our CHILDREN, and the CHILDREN I care for, and he F'ING gave BLOOD on June 13! So he had to call Canadian Blood Services so they could pull his blood. (roll eyes)

    I'm so mad, I don't even want to touch him. NOW he's all lovey-dovey and touchy and buys me flowers. Not during the last 16 years we've been together, 9 of which were married. No..

    I just want to stay in bed and cry! but I can't, b/c my kids need me, and I have my day care kids. there's no time for me. :brokenheart:
  • AnneElise
    AnneElise Posts: 4,206 Member
    Carina- I am so sorry to hear what you are going through. That has to be very hard. It is loosing the trust you had in someone so important in your life. Just remember that you did nothing wrong and that you a beautiful, he made the mistake. HUGS. If you ever need people to listen we are here!
  • brittonymiller
    brittonymiller Posts: 2,061 Member
    Carina- I am so very sorry you have to go through this. No one should ever have to go through this. You are a very strong woman for staying in the relationship and trying to work it out. I always think I know what I would do in such a situation, but the truth is none of us actually know what we would do until faced with it. Talk to us whenever you need to about whatever you need to. This group was specially formed for the connection we have formed as a group of women and mothers. We are here for each other when it comes to anything and everything- babies, husbands, weight loss, loss... anything. It can be very hard trying to keep a happy face and pretend everything is okay. It will break you. Lean on us. Seriously. It's okay to ask for help.
  • Soon2Bfitmamaof3
    Soon2Bfitmamaof3 Posts: 1,911 Member
    Carina- I'm so sorry you're going through this, I can't even tell you how badly I wish I could come though the computer and smack so sense into that Hubby of yours. you're such a sweet, caring, kind, and loving person. you're really going to need time to sort through all of these feelings, especially the lost trust. are you planning on staying with him? I would like to think in that situation I would for the kids but I'm not sure I'd be able to get past it which could be just as damaging as having no father around.

    As Brittony put it, this is why we formed this group, we all share a bond. We are all here for you and if there's anything you need I'm here. I wish I could just give you a big hug and tell you everything's okay but reality is you have to think things through.

    And yes I have to agree that friends IRL do not seem to care about issues as much as MFP friends. I guess we all got lucky we found each other.
  • ron2282
    ron2282 Posts: 2,760 Member
    Mel – I don’t know how you do it. Thankfully the doctors caught his heart problem in time.

    Sheri – good for your son!!! I don’t think you’re pushing them into learning at all. I used to spend my whole summers reading, and I’ve already bought tons of book for Kathryn and we “read” to her every night.

    Megan – thanks for the info!

    Maureen – a good friend of mine and her husband didn’t get married until their son was almost 3. They wanted to make sure they were doing it because they wanted to and not just because of the baby.

    I’m sorry if I’m going to make some of you ladies bang your heads against a wall…..but I’ll probably be one of those annoying moms who hibernates for the first month after Kathryn is born. :embarassed: :laugh:
  • ron2282
    ron2282 Posts: 2,760 Member
    Carina – I’m so sorry you’re dealing with that. I give you a lot of credit for trying to work things out. I have no idea how I would react if I were in the same situation. Would he be willing to go to marital counseling with you? We’re here to listen and support you however you need us to.
  • LittleSpy
    LittleSpy Posts: 6,754 Member
    Carina -- I don't know what to say but please know that you and your family are in my thoughts. We're all here when you need to talk.
  • dmdaigle17
    dmdaigle17 Posts: 918 Member
    Carina- I am so sorry you are having to go through this. It isn't something anyone married should ever have to endure. Like the other wonderful ladies have said; it's not your fault. You didn't make him do anything, so please don't feel that way. As this is so new and fresh I can imagine you are going through a lot. I hope you have someone close to you that you can talk to about this but either way we are all here for you. Praying for lots of strength for you to get through this and figure out what you need to do :heart:
  • dragonfly74
    dragonfly74 Posts: 1,382 Member
    Carina, I have faith that you and your husband can work through this if you both want to. I went a little "crazy" after 7 years of marriage and was going out to bars and such and I felt like I didn't want to be a mother or wife anymore. One day I snapped out of it and as crazy as this may seem we are stronger than we ever have been. I am so thankful and feel so blessed every day that my husband had faith in us. We have since had two more children and we will be married 12 years in October. Lost trust can be restored in time.

    Please know you are in my prayers.
  • joonzgurl
    joonzgurl Posts: 1,611 Member
    Wow Carina, that is insane. I am sooo sorry you are having to deal with this, my heart breaks for you. I applaud you for keeping up with your children and trying to keep some kind of normalcy in your life through all of this. I can only imagine how hard it would be to cope. I would be going insane, wondering who she was, how long it went on, etc. Remember we are all here for you, any time you need us.
  • hkystar
    hkystar Posts: 1,290 Member
    Hugs Carina! I am so sorry you are having to go through this.
  • Mamatoabunch
    Mamatoabunch Posts: 749
    Oh Carina I am so very sorry. After 20 years of marriage and many, many downs you can restore faith in your spouse and your marriage. I will be praying for you and dh.

    I did share a pic a few pages back I think.
  • AnneElise
    AnneElise Posts: 4,206 Member
    So ladies, were your pregnancy and labors anything like your mom's? There is some thought that it runs in the family... so far my pregnancy has been totally different so I am not sure I buy it.
  • AMummysLife
    AMummysLife Posts: 264 Member
    Hi ladies. Think I'm finally over the MS. Haven't been sick since Thursday and got my FXed that it stays that way. Just finished my last exams and assignments for the semester so got plenty of free time until next semester starts.

    I've been getting the odd flutters every now and then but nothing constant yet. Had my 12 week scan & bloods to check for Down Syndrome etc and should get the results from my midwife this week on Thursday. Everything at the scan looked good though. Hubby got to hear baby's heart beat for the first time. Thinking of taking Miss 3.5 to the 20 week scan though. She adores hearing about and seeing scan pictures of "her baby in mummy's tummy". I think she'd get a real kick out of being at the actual scan.

    Carina - I am so sorry about what your hubby did. Not sure what I would do in your place but I do know whatever the decision you have to make will need some serious thought and feeling evaluation of what you can live with. My thoughts are with you and your family, hun.
  • hkystar
    hkystar Posts: 1,290 Member
    Anne - I cant tell you about my mom's pregnancy (she passed away about 6 years ago). My pregnancy hasnt been remarkedly different from my sister's (without the blood issues).
  • AnneElise
    AnneElise Posts: 4,206 Member
    Maureen- Sorry about your mom :( I am wondering because I have thrown up so much with my pregnancy and my mom never did with her 5 babies BUT she went early with all of hers besides her last so I am wondering if that is something that could be passed down or if it is different for each person. I am guessing different for each person.
  • carina73
    carina73 Posts: 270 Member
    Thanks everyone. He is going to counseling and I am talking to someone. we will also have a few couples sessions. I have decided to stay, but I told him this is his 2nd chance. I always believe in 2nd chances, but not anything more. he has to shape up and no relapses.

    kids are up. gotta go. i'll reply later.
  • LittleSpy
    LittleSpy Posts: 6,754 Member
    So ladies, were your pregnancy and labors anything like your mom's? There is some thought that it runs in the family... so far my pregnancy has been totally different so I am not sure I buy it.

    My pregnancy hasn't been very similar other than it being a healthy pregnancy with zero complications. Physically, I'm completely different from my mom (take much more after my dad) so it doesn't surprise me that we'd have different experiences with both pregnancy and labor.

    I hope my labor isn't like her 1st. He was back to back and she was in labor for over 24 hours. She *says* she was in transition for 4-5 hours. Not sure how true that is though (as the pregnancy board ladies know, my mom has a tendency to be a bit overdramatic).
  • jamielangner
    jamielangner Posts: 165
    Sheri - yay for advanced studies! having those books/workbooks available hardly seems like pushing them. i'm sure you aren't sucking any of the fun out of their summer so don't be so hard on yourself! :)

    Carina - i will keep you in my thoughts & we are all definitely here for you whenever you need us! i'm so sorry that you have to go through this and can't imagine what you must be going through. don't feel like you have to put on a brave face all the time, it's definitely ok to show your feelings! you are an incredibly strong woman for giving him a second chance.

    Anne - my pregnancy and labor was VERY similar to my mom. we both seemed to be the same with morning sickness, the way our body changed, labor pain, and labor was also very similar. neither of us had our water break or mucous plus or any of that. We didn't have much notice, just all of a sudden it happened. actually the only thing that was different was that she got gestational diabetes with all of us and i didn't get it with either of mine. everyone says that every baby and pregnancy is different, but my mom had 3 kids and she said she felt the same every time. i had 2 and mine felt the same also. we were also both late for all our babies :)

    Patricia - i'm happy to hear that everything is going well for you!
  • jamielangner
    jamielangner Posts: 165
    So as you know we have been dealing with thrush :( I thought it was going away but it came back full force yesterday! I guess the doctor is right and it's going to be super hard to get rid of since Hayley and I will keep giving it back and forth to each other through breastfeeding. She doesn't breastfeed well at all when the thrush acts up probably because her mouth hurts so much. Days like today when I'm at work are tough for me since I have to wear a shirt all day long lol.

    I guess I also have a mini rant about FOB. He actually seems to getting worse and more distant from the kids. He stays with them on Mondays & Fridays when I go to work and hardly seems them otherwise. I asked him to come stay with the kids one day last week so I could run some errands without them (as we all know it goes much quicker and smoother that way) but he claims he was too busy. Lately, any time I ask him to stay with the kids he is too busy. He doesn't even have a full time job, so that is really annoying me. I can totally see that his lack of effort is hurting his relationship with our older daughter, Brielle. Hayley is so young that if he doesn't get is act together she will hardly know him at all. I'm not sure if he actually doesn't see it or he just doesn't care?? Probably the worst part is that I want my girls to have a relationship with him so badly, that I am doing things for him that I shouldn't be doing in hopes that it will make him hang around more. He should actually be the one helping me with things, but he seems to be clueless there. I guess that was a lil more than a mini rant lol.
  • dmdaigle17
    dmdaigle17 Posts: 918 Member
    Jamie- Sorry things are so hard with FOB. You can only do so much if he isn't willing to. It sounds like you've already gone above and beyond. It's his turn to step up to the plate and show an interest in his daughters. I hope that he does and things change :heart:

    Anne- My pregnancy thus far has been similar to my mother's when she was pregnant with my brother (maybe a boy coincidence!) The only difference is I was a bit more sick earlier on than she was but everything else is pretty much the same. Carrying low, just a belly, hardly gained any weight, sciatica issues, etc. I can't say I hope my labor is like her's though because he was a planned c-section due to the fact that she had a c-section with me.

    Carina- Continuing to think/pray for you and your family. Ditto to what Jamie said. It takes a very strong person to do what you are doing. :heart:
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